Life gave me a lemon 🍋✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CNyVg4tLSns/?igshid=c52gkzs8fwls
One Nice Bug Per Day
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★
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Misplaced Lens Cap
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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if i look back, i am lost
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@theo-lea
Life gave me a lemon 🍋✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CNyVg4tLSns/?igshid=c52gkzs8fwls
aydın web tasarım
Sunday fun day! We got our ears poked and swammy swam swam. ♥️ https://www.instagram.com/p/CNjD381rZAS/?igshid=638h3jawtgv0
✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CNdCJCyr4Fr/?igshid=1f0yhzda46cr2
this is the tweet that made me realize i had adhd you guys
I don’t exist but people think I do
Borderline Masking
I was having a think about masking today. People normally associate masking with autism, but very few people know about the masking that borderline people do. It actually serves two different functions with us. First, we mask like autistics do, in order to hide the “socially unacceptable” parts of ourselves from others. We can’t let them see our emotions, how we really feel about what they’ve said or how much they mean to us or how hurt we are. We mask so our passions don’t overwhelm others, so that our intensity won’t frighten them away. We mask because we don’t want everyone to leave us.
The other reason we do it is because it helps us relate to others. We pick a new mask for every situation, one that’s made precisely to help us through that situation. When we make a new friend, we mirror them so they won’t hate us. When we’re in a meeting, we pretend we’re polite or “professional”. When we’re at work, we put on the face of someone who doesn’t abuse themselves regularly. We find new people to be all the time and we live so many different lives.
But the reason we mask in this second way is because we have no self to go home to. When we are alone, when there’s no one else to reflect, we look inside and we don’t find anyone. We don’t feel like a person. We might experience an intense chaos of emotions, but there’s nothing holding them together, no me to refer back to. We mask because the person we could have been died from all the pieces being taken away by people who were supposed to love us.
A symptom of bpd people don’t talk about that much is the fucking restlessness that you feel when you haven’t done something horribly life altering in a while. It’s a g o n i z i n g
Me: Wow I feel so great! I don’t have any symptoms at all!
Also me: every single person in this grocery store hates me specifically.
Fuck your astrology sign what kind of borderline are you I'm petulant
Me: I don't have any mental disorders I'm fine, life's great.
Petulant BPD: are you sure?
Me: Who tf are you?
Petulant: oh, I'm all your trauma put into your personality.
Me: Oh? Is this bad...?
Petulant: Yes. Now go seek for attention and then have high expectations of others and get upset when they aren't met.
Me: That's not very nice.
Petulant: I'm not very nice. now go.
Me: *crying* damn
me, slapping my bpd on the nose with a newspaper: bad! bad bpd!
Please fucking lie to your employer. Like they don’t need to know your mental health issues or what drugs you do. Ffs
its not lying if its to employers or cops
and look up ur rights on what they can and cannot ask u many places ban asking about ur record and transportation status and things like that resources will also tell u how they reword sketchy questions so ur prepared
Hey. Take it from a former HR person… this goes double right now. I just spent some time putting in some job applications myself (not for HR, lol) and got about 15 interviews. And idk if it’s because of COVID uncertainty or if places just don’t fucking care anymore because they know people are desperate for work, but the amount of straight up illegal shit my interviewers asked me was appalling. (That’s not even counting the questions that were technically legal but clearly fishing for information they’re not legally allowed to ask.)
A tame example? Two questions into a phone interview, the guy on the other end of the line asked: “How old are you?” I said “Excuse me?” - giving him a chance to rethink that. He didn’t. “How old are you?” “Sir, you are not allowed to ask me that question.” “Well, I want to know. I’m asking.” “And you’re legally not allowed to ask me that. I’m not required to tell you my age.” At that point, I guess he managed to remember an old HR bulletin or something (I hope to god he wasn’t actually HR himself), and he said, “Well, I need to know if you’re over the age of 18.” (Which is what he should have asked in the first place… or not, since that was in the application that he could have read.) “Yes. I’m over the age of 18.” And we moved on. Two questions later, he tried another illegal question. I called him on it again and ended the interview, citing that a workplace with such a clear disregard for the law, especially upon first contact with a potential employee, was not going to be a good fit. (They offered me the job anyway, lol. I didn’t send a thank-you or a response.)
At a different interview, the majority of questions were “fishing” questions - just looking for that info they’re not actually allowed to ask. (This person was also either not really HR or an HR person who was exceptionally bad at their job.)
I could tell they were getting frustrated when I dodged answering the personal stuff, and they actually got extremely upset when I mentioned later in the interview (re: less relevant work experience) I had worked in HR. They were super flustered for the remainder of our time, and I watched them skip over questions on their sheet they had clearly planned on asking. They KNEW they were being sketchy and were counting on me not knowing anything about HR - or my rights - and so they got upset when I did. These were super tame examples. I’m begging you, if you’re job searching right now, PLEASE know your rights. Please know what interviewers are allowed to ask. Please don’t volunteer information or elaborate more than you’re required to about personal things. Save your words (and everyone’s time) by elaborating why you’re good for the position/what you can do. I may create a resource list on this shit later but PLEASE PLEASE KNOW THIS STUFF BEFORE YOU TALK TO AN EMPLOYER. This goes for anywhere you’re interviewing as well as your current employer. This also goes for HR. HR may be the person you go to when shitty stuff happens, but that doesn’t mean they’re your friend (or competent). They don’t need to know your age (beyond 16+, 18+, or 21+, depending on the job). They don’t need to know your medical history. (For the love of god, do NOT answer the “have you been diagnosed with depression?” question.) They don’t need to know if you have kids or whatever. They don’t need to know a LOT of those things that may appear on an application, including your veteran status, whether you’re on/have been on unemployment, etc. They’re not entitled to know specifics about your transportation (unless you’re using that transportation for the job, like Uber/delivery drivers). Look this up for your state/the job’s state. Beware questions like “What year did you graduate?” if you’re like me and don’t put dates on your resume (I just put amount of time spent at employers, not dates of employment). They’re fishing for your age. It’s “Oh, you know, 100 years ago,” if you feel comfortable making a joke, or “About [generic number, like 5 or 10] years ago” if not. Also beware things like the “What do you do in your free time?” question, even if you already work there. This is not a friendly getting-to-know-you question. This is a basis for judgement. Not up to an invisible standard? They’re going to be biased against you for pay raises, promotions, etc. Mention kids/lots of family/social engagements? That’s a tick against you for not being the kind of person who lives to work (yes, it’s gross and stupid). Mention lots of solitary things? Cool, that’s their mental note to ask more from you because you’re “not doing anything anyway.” By all means, be friendly with your coworkers/talk about shared interests if you want, but it is none of your boss’s business, and be aware what could get back to them. Don’t. Tell. Employers. Shit.
Good morning,
“Quarantine” has given me more ass than I’ve ever had. ☕️
I just love seals (and I can see them IRL with a 10min walk from home ❤ I’m a lucky gilr! 😊)
https://www.instagram.com/mijbilcreatures/