For the Glory of the Aldmeri Dominion

"I have not given everything until I am left with nothing." I am Justiciar Lhaeben Aldir. I have no intention to like you. Nor do I hope that you will like me. We shall not be friends. I have work to do. Independent 3-4E Skyrim OC | NSFW | Mod is 18+

[theoldjusticiar]

bookofalmsivi replied to your post: Worn Out?

[HELLO AGAIN YOU]

[HI HELLO IT IS I.]

[theoldjusticiar]

Worn Out?

It’s been so long since I last wrote, that I am nearly at a loss with regard to where I ought to begin. I’ve lost touch. Not with everyone; Arveldis would never allow it, but my world has grown impossibly small. I have that happiness, and I have my work. That ought to be enough. It has been, in the past. I am uncertain of what has changed, that this is no longer true. We should be happy, Arveldis and I. We are, I think... But I feel, at least when we are apart... I find it difficult to judge if I am content, beyond that one bright spot. I am exhausted. I dare not admit that I begin to suspect that I have very little left to give, and yet, the thought has crossed my mind, been set down. I wrote, once, that I am nothing if I cannot serve. That still frightens me. I cannot be useless. And yet, I catch myself wondering... All of this... Was all of this a waste? Did I, perhaps, expend myself on a lost cause? An unrighteous one? It’s too heavy. Mara guide me, it’s too heavy. I cannot think about this.

[theoldjusticiar]

How does someone begin a career within the Thalmor? Do they start out as soldiers or are other skills/professions welcomed?

I was a soldier first, and was encouraged to join the Thalmor on the basis of the extensive training I had received. That isn’t necessarily true of everyone, however. Some join of their own accord, and not all of them come from a military background. Recruitment isn’t quite as active as it was when I joined, but that was shortly before the Blue Divide. Something of a different time.We offer additional training for recruits who lack a military background. It isn’t always necessary, as not all of our operatives are active in the field. There is a place for researchers, for instance, among the Thalmor.

[theoldjusticiar]

Have any plans for Heart's Day?

What are you talking about? Heart's Day isn't... Oh no.

[theoldjusticiar]

A Letter With Perfect Spelling

Dear Lhaeben,

I’m coming to Solitude to visit a friend.  I was hoping I’d be able to meet you and Velly while I was there.  I miss the two of you very much.

I’ll have Ana with me.  You haven’t seen her since she was a tiny baby, have  you? She’s walking now.  And talking.

So much talking.

I’m bringing pie.

So what I’m saying is that I’m going to find you no matter what, and you’d better bring your appetite.  You’re taking it off my hands no matter what.  No complaints.

I’ll see you in a week’s time.

Love,

Eva

Evangeline, I take it that your trouble with the guard has been resolved, then? Or are you fleeing to Solitude? Perhaps that was unkind of me to ask. You worry me, at times. At least I needn't fret so much where your penmanship is concerned. Not a single mistake. Well done. It will be good to see you, and Ana, as well. She's talking already? That's astounding. It takes elven children somewhat longer. I'll let Arveldis know you're headed our way. We'll see you soon. Until then, Lhaeben

[theoldjusticiar]

I'm always wary about Thalmor characters, but I'm glad I decided to follow Lhaeben when I did. So many people write the Thalmor like parodies or cartoon villains, but Benny feels like a person. I like how despite his strong feelings for his work and his place in Altmer society, he also struggles with accepting those beliefs, especially when they cross the people he loves. The writing is also superb and always amazing to read.

Hhhhhh-- Thank you. I worry sometimes, because I'm not nearly as active on this blog as I used to be, which makes it very easy to lose touch with one's character, or - if you're me, anyway - begin to worry that you've been forgotten about, or ceased to become interesting, and all that rot.So thanks very much. It's quite encouraging.

[theoldjusticiar]

Uncle Benny —

I know I haven’t written. I’m sorry. 

I usually know how to preface these things. I know how to word them in ways that will make my father the least upset. I take pride in my independence and I take pride in my work, and I have always appreciated the freedom with which you and he have allowed me to do so. 

But I’m not proud anymore. 

Things have happened, Uncle Benny, and I’ve made choices recently that have pressed me into strange corners. I don’t like where I am. I don’t like it at all. I need help. 

I trust you to explain this to my father better than I can. I am out of sorts. Let him know that I’ll be visiting soon. 

Love, Dory

Sindorin, I am glad to have heard from you. Your father and I were beginning to worry that we might have to come find you. I will speak to him, and let him know that you are troubled. It's good that you have decided to visit; I'd have urged you to, otherwise. I know he'll want to see you, and, of course, I miss you as well. For now, know that even if your confidence has been shaken, I remain proud of you. I think it goes without saying that your father feels the same. It's barely a jest when I say the man glows at the merest mention of you. I trust you will do what needs to be done. More than once, you'll find the path you've chosen will become difficult to see, but press on. You have determination enough, and skill enough, to see it through. All will be well. I hope to see you soon. With love, Lhaeben

[theoldjusticiar]

[*Shake It Off playing in the bg*]

[theoldjusticiar]

He's better than he knows, or tries to be. You never know when you've got need of him until he's already there, guiding you. I think he wants people to do the good he feels he can't do, or isn't allowed to do. He tries to pretend he's not a good man, but he is. He's one of the best.

[You will not make me cry today.]

[theoldjusticiar]

The most frustrating, rigid, Thalmor old mer you'll ever meet. At least he's reliable? Or something. I don't know anymore. We've drifted apart. But he's helped me, so, I'm grateful.

[Don't worry, Shey. He doesn't dislike you, which in the land of Benny, is supposed to be a compliment. smh]

[eightysixt-deactivated20130819]

How would your character describe mine? Don't sugarcoat it. I am genuinely intrigued.

[coldwindscutclean]

Shey did as she was told, nearly falling into a sitting position rather than easing herself down. The warmth of the fire started to seep into her skin, and brought back more feeling than she’d realized she’d lost. Wounds all over her body started hissing back to life. “It all hurts.”

[theoldjusticiar]

"Not a surprise. Let's see what can be done." Lhaeben didn't bother with questions; he had plenty still, but these were better served with waiting. "You'll allow it?" he asked, still somewhat tentative. Shey seemed spent of her stubbornness, but it was better not to tempt her back toward it.

[coldwindscutclean]

She took the jerky and began to eat it. She didn’t want it, in the sense that it wasn’t necessary to want food to be hungry for it. It was chewed mechanically, and might as well have been leather for all that she tasted it. Her steps took her off the road and after Lhaeben. A fire did sound nice. She was tired, cold, in pain, and if, in that moment, she could have stopped entirely and never moved again, she might have given up right there.

[theoldjusticiar]

It took a little longer than Lhaeben would have liked to get a makeshift camp set up, and a fire going, with the weather less than hosipitable, but he managed. It was a little unnerving to see Shey standing by, almost frozen. She was seldom the sort who needed to be told what to do, but Lhaeben knew for his part, the comfort there could be in following instructions. "Come sit," he said. "Get warm."

[coldwindscutclean]

Shey was slowly losing composure, but Lhaeben’s calm, steady presence was helping the pieces stay together, for now. She nodded, hand going back to grip the cloak and keep it on her shoulders. With one foot in front of the other, she started moving again, but this was just to get closer to him. Help had been accepted, and now she wanted comfort. “What do you want me to do?”

[theoldjusticiar]

"Get off the road, for a start." Lhaeben rummaged in his pack for a moment. There wasn't much. Enough. He retrieved a wrapped bit of jerky and held it out, recalling how feeding seemed to rejuvenate the werebeast. He wasn't certain if anything worked, or if it needed to be fresh flesh, but it was a start, and something for Shey to do. "We need a fire. I'll take care of that first."

[thespectralarrow]

Try telling that to my ribcage. 

[theoldjusticiar]

[A few less-kind responses flit through Lhaeben's mind before he settles on one.] I'd rather not.

[thespectralarrow]

Is it? You have always classified me as a trouble maker, and I suppose in the past that has been overwhelmingly true, but you are the one trouble loves. 

[theoldjusticiar]

So you continue to insist. I doubt the trouble that finds me is disproportionate to that of anyone else in our line of work.

[of-akavir]

You would prefer to continue your conversation with the air? I was musing, nothing more. We need not speak, if it displeases you so.

[theoldjusticiar]

Very well. I have no use for your musing. Be on your way.