The Farbie Diaries

The every day adventures of a business-suit-wearing professional by day, farmer's wife, tom boy at heart, Jesus & life loving woman navigating life as a born again Christian

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I have a lot of guilt. I have a lot of shame. But why should i let it drag me down? The answer: I shouldn’t, but i do, because it is the human thing to do. Every day I take a step towards being the person I know I can be and not focusing on who I was.

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Nothing says welcome to a new season of Game of Thrones quite lie a severe thunderstorm warning and a tornado warning. Here we go!

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Like most twenty-somethings, I have gone through a variety of phases in my life. Going into detail on them would take years, but these phases have made me who I am. When I was seventeen, an acquaintance (now close friend) described me as "farming barbie". My farm upbringing was overshadowed by showing up to a horse barn for my first day of work with french tips and a face full of too much, too dark make up. Like many teenage girls, I feel into a drastic black hole in which the right make-up, the right dress size, the perfect hair, etc. was what I needed to fit in. Boy was I wrong! ​I started out as a chubby middle/jr high schooler who would not brush her hair and evolved to a size two bleach blond who wore too much make up and walked on egg shells, doing things just because others wanted me too and lacking the self confidence I needed to become myself.  With the help of a core group of friends, my now husband, growing in my relationship with God, and many hours of self reflection, enter Farbie. 

To me, Fabrie represents the meshing of my past, my present, and my future. I like to think of her as Farming Barbie's older, wiser, more confident sister. Instead of dressing up for others, she dresses up for herself. Instead of being skinny for others, she now is focused on being fit for herself. She learned the proper amount of make up to wear and when it was time to put on a dress. She still knows how to throw on a pair of jeans and get some grease in her hair, but she always makes sure that hair is brushed and healthy. It is my hope that this blog can bring some faith, fun, and insight into your life. It ties together the pillars of my life and throws in a healthy dose of realism: God, books, horses, and fitness. XOXO, ~Farbie PS Bonus points if you get the above reference <3

[theoriginalfarbie-blog]

Hi there! Welcome to my blog! I cannot think of a better way to start of my blog than by making my very first kick-off blog post about a song that I am letting set the tone for my 2019. 2018 was one of the roughest but most amazing years of my life. In quick summary: My parents sold their dairy cows, the camp I grew up working at cut their horse program, and I got married to the love of my life. Yup. It sure has been a year. 2019 for me is about self-confidence and remembering that our past does not define us. It also means I am walking into the first year of my life without horse camp. It is hard to describe what being part of a camp family means to outsiders. People who have never attended a summer camp or are not immersed in the camping culture cannot understand the full depth of what a week out of the year can mean for campers. I took it one step further and spent summers there on staff and returning to volunteer every single summer, even when I had to "grow up" and get a "real" job or internship. One of the main reasons I went was for the horses. I grew up on a dairy farm and I simply did not have the chance to ride horses but like any other young girl, I was obsessed with them. Christian summer camp offered me  an opportunity to ride horses and, at that point in my life (think 12-13), having to sit through devotions and hear about Jesus was a necessary annoyance I had to deal with.  As I continued to live life and gain more experience, when I returned to camp as a 24 year old volunteer, everything reversed. I found myself focusing on the devotions, putting my heart into every lesson I taught my 12-17 year old campers.  In 2018, the camp I grew up at made a decision to no longer offer their equestrian programs. I was a little shocked at first. Horses were my way of connecting with campers and I am not sure how my volunteer skills will fit into their new programming in 2019. However, there is one thing I know that will stay the same: God will continue to touch the lives of many children there. Which brings me to why I chose "Nobody" as my song for 2019. Camp was always a place where I and other teens like me could feel like somebody. I felt like I mattered, I felt like I was a somebody and not a nobody. It did not matter who I was at school, who I was to my family, or how many friends I had. My goal for 2019 is to carry that somebody feeling into my everyday life and there is no better way to do it than by listening to this song. It can be too easy to feel like this: "All my life I've been told I belong at the end of the line With all the other Not-Quites With all the Never-Get-It-Rights"

In 2019, my goal is to remember that I am somebody to God and he has a plan for me and my life that I am just not totally aware yet. As the song says: "Moses had stage fright And David brought a rock to a sword fight You picked 12 outsiders nobody would've chosen And You changed the world Well, the moral of the story is Everybody's got a purpose."

In 2019, it is my challenge to you to remember everyday that you are not a nobody, in God's eyes you are a somebody and everybody has got a purpose in His eyes. Until next time, Farbie