Incorrect Orville

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Bortus: I’m just not a big crier.

Kelly: Toy Story 3.

Bortus, crying: The toys were holding hands inside a furnace!

Bortus: HOW COULD I NOT?!

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Ed: The world is a complicated place.

John: Whenever it seems that way, I take a nap and wait for dinner.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Ed, injured: Call the doctor.

Gordon: CLAIRE!!!

Ed: Use your comm.

Gordon: Oh.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

John, singing: ~Hush, little laptop, don’t you cry.~

John: ~I'm gonna find you some more Wi-Fi.~

John: ~And if that Wi-Fi doesn’t work…~

John: ~I will destroy the fucking Earth.~

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Gordon: How do you type so fast?

Ed: Anxiety.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Gordon: I’m sorry, I really flew off the handle back there. It was like the handle was a bald guy going really fast, and I was his toupée.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Talla: We all have our demons.

Kelly, grabbing Ed: This one’s mine!

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Ed: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Gordon: There is no i in happyness…

Claire: There is if you fucking spell it right.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Alara: How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?

Kelly: Alara, it's four o'clock in the morning.

Alara: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Claire: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!

Ed: I'll hate my self in the morning regardless.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Claire: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

John: Take them!

Bortus: Punch them in the neck!

Gordon: Say thank you!

Talla: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Claire: …

Claire: No.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Ed: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it.

Claire: ...what happened?

Ed: I made a VERY bad mistake.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Kelly: Gordon, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?

Gordon: No, it’s mine.

Kelly: It... looks just like the one I have...

Gordon: You don’t have one like this anymore.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Gordon: Ed, do you love me?

Ed: Of course I do!

Gordon: Would you still love me if I did something bad?

Ed: Well, of course I… would…

Gordon: I mean something really, really—

Ed: Gordon, what did you do?

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Ed: Kelly, I think we have a problem.

Kelly: What, the fire?

Ed: No, the- wait, what fire?

Kelly: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

[theorvilleincorrectquotes]

Bortus: Why would you do that?

Ed: Because I feel guilty.

Kelly: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.