Scared Shitless
Sorry captain Jack hasn't posted anything in a long time I was mostly waiting for Lin to post something a bit more substantial than a cartoon of a delenquit toddler aspiring to be Charlie Sheen but my wait was in vain as you all very well know. But another reason is that I'm scared. Not of aliens or the boogeyman or even Zee Germans wich are all perfectlly normal things to be scared of ( and don't let anyone tell you other wise). But of the idea that the thing I've held onto my whole life might not be true. And it's not a wholly new idea either it's simple and easy to follow. it's magical and utterlly joyful. It's the idea of love. The idea that there is someone for everyone. I've held onto this idea for so long Its what keeps me going sometimes. When I feel shitty it's what makes me bear it. When you've had and utterly horrible day it's what makes you know it'll get better. When you've lost all hope it's the glimmer on the horizon. But I just don't know anymore maybe it's not even there maybe it's just something a poet long ago invented so that he'd have a better chance at getting laid. Because as much as it is a hope as much as it is an utterlly wonderful idea. It will always hurt like hell. It will always turn on you. And worst of all it might not even smile at you. It might not even show u it's face. So that you live your whole life without ever smelling it's wonderfully intoxicating aroma. But there's something worse than all of that. When love does show it's face to your bare and empty heart. And fills it with that wonderful light and warmth. And then abandons it just as quickly as it found it. And leaves you forever to rot and weep at the loss of it. And just for kicks it teases you with a glance just a glimmer of it's face and u hope its found you again but it's all just a fucking joke a ploy to get you to feel even worse. And something that does that. How can it be good how can it be right. How can it be the thing that makes the world go round. And I'm scared that my whole concept of life is now going to need to be rethought. And I don't know what to base it off of.












