A very incomplete list of good NPC archetypes
by “good” I mean “this npc is enjoyable as a character”, not “this npc is moral”
1. I have no gender, only (pick at least one: an air of mystery, a bouyant outpouring of joie de vivre, a rare extra-large helping of calm common sense)
2. I’m old and I’ve been doing weird and questionably legal experiments, arcane or mundane, since before your parents were born, whippersnapper
3. Oh, hello! I almost didn’t see you there. Welcome to my place of work, where I am being very sexy, both by being a supportive listener and also having excellent hair.
4. as a former adventurer myself, I am so sorry to inform you that it be like that some times. Do you need a potion of healing or some tea?
5. I’M JUST A BARTENDER WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS
6. annoying sibling, but in the end, ride or die
7. annoying sibling, who was evil all along
8. I initially come off as a reasonable and even helpful authority figure which will make my betrayal much more gut-wrenching
9. has justifiably been driven absolutely insane by the nightmarish surroundings in which they find themselves and is now going to seriously fuck things over for your party because you crossed paths with them, even though it’s really not their fault
10. WHY DID YOU BRING ME INTO BATTLE I KNOW YOU’VE IMPRINTED ON ME FOR SOME REASON, BUT I ONLY HAVE 6 HIT POINTS
11. I’m middle-aged, still extremely attractive, and I’ve been doing weird and absolutely illegal experiments, arcane or mundane since you were a child, and I’m going to kill you now
12. 1800s London Street Urchin, but make it D&D
13. I would gladly destroy the universe to gain personal immortality, also my voice is calibrated to be the exact timbre to raise the hairs on everyone’s neck (frequently overlaps with 11)
14. I have the misfortune of being a guard for the being against whom you have a vendetta and I am about to get one-shot killed by the rogue, because of course I am
15. I am a highly ranked authority figure in the realm, and you are a horrible adventuring party.
16. Loving parent who is trying their best in a setting that basically makes a cottage industry of murdering the heroes’ parents
17. WHY DID YOU BRING ME INTO BATTLE I KNOW WE’RE FRIENDS/RELATIVES, BUT I STILL ONLY HAVE 6 HIT POINTS (frequently overlaps with 16)
18. Crochety dwarf who sounds like they’re reading Scottish Twitter
19. I appear irritated but it’s only because you pretty insensitively interrupted my (pick one: sparring practice, study time); I have a soft spot for you idiots despite myself.
20. I am a small business owner specifically because I’m so fucking weird that I couldn’t make a living in any other capacity