💎

I don’t know anymore 5'9” •SW: 235 lbs• •CW: 154.5 lbs• •GW: 140 lbs• •UGW: 130 lbs• Start Date: (originally September 7, 2017); Returned May 13, 2021 Next Goal: anything less than now

[minniedream]

[theperfectblonde]

Fuck dude it’s not fair. Why are all the hot guys into me AFTER I’m locked down. Why do I have to be a good person, why can’t I be like everyone else and just cheat and not feel guilty about it and go on with my life and relationship as though nothing happened. Why does lust completely engross me.

[theperfectblonde]

It’s been 48 hours and I can’t stop thinking about it. Why…? When will I get over it? I can’t lie, I keep replaying that moment over and over in my head. That weird little childhood crush that wouldn’t have gone anywhere back then, I already know he never looked my way, and now suddenly as adults meeting by random happenstance and him coming up to me and saying he wants me… but I’m taken. The wink. The lingering. The staring. The turning back after we already said goodbye. The pretending we don’t want more. And now that it’s not Saturday, back to nothing, like it might as well have not happened at all. What the fuck just happened.

[bedrotter99]

One of my favorite ways to avoid 3@t1ng is to just sleep for nine hours

😴💤🛌

[bulimicb1tch]

I <3 mornings because I haven’t done anything wrong yet (eating)

[tay-swifts]

SABRINA CARPENTER at Coachella (2026)

[tay-swifts]

SABRINA CARPENTER performing 'all because i liked a boy' at Coachella (2026)

[buckslasagna]

Sabrina Carpenter at Coachella 2026

[theperfectblonde]

Over 10,000+ steps today and only ONE meal where all of it was straight vegetables… I better wake up skinny tomorrow lol 😭

[theperfectblonde]

I’ve started exercising again… I hate that circumstances of my life have meant that I was unable to workout/eat good/fuck hell even starve myself, but god I fucking missssssss being skinnier 😭😭😭 like the reason I got big wasn’t even my fault. I was literally force fed 4X a meal 6x a day and trapped somewhere I couldn’t leave. It’s not fair. I felt *so* myself when I was skinny. Like I earned it. Like I deserved it. Like I waited my whole lifetime to be *me*. And it got taken away from me.

I don’t hate my body, but… I didn’t get here by choice or lack of effort. I tried. SO hard. And now, it’s so hard to start again and build myself back up. I’ve gone from 163 to 160 lbs and stayed consistent for a week now… I lost my resolve for the last 2 years but I feel like it’s coming back in waves, but stronger. I swear to fucking god I’m going to get back to 150 by my birthday. And I want to be back to 140 again by the big rave in June… 😭

[theperfectblonde]

Man losing weight is literally spending all day just distracting yourself from food huh 😭😭

[theperfectblonde]

I’ve already started working out again and eating better/healthier but fuckkk it’s not soon enough but if I go extreme right off the hop I know I’ll fuck nyself over with binge eating 😭💔

[theperfectblonde]

Looking at old pictures of myself and fuckkk… I miss her. She looked so fucking good. 😭😭💔

[theperfectblonde]

Yeah no I want to be skinny again lmao

[juicyjunkie]

[satans-oatmilk-latte]

honestly life is better locked into my disorder

i run more, more things around the house get done, i have more time to devote to other hobbies.

and the prospect of being tiny again is wonderful, i feel hotter every time that scale goes down

[gothredy]