.food for thought. @thepondernut - Tumblr Blog

#relationships #confidence #loveyourself

I feel like our society rewards people who are focused and driven towards one concentration. For example, if you were a dietician who blogs about nutrition, publishes books on nutrition, attends nutrition talks, etc. - you would probably be successful.

However, what about the rest of us who haven’t figured out their “calling” in life or is passionate about more than 1 or 2 fields?

Time is a limited resource, and the tendency towards diversification would obviously make it more difficult for those individuals to produce the same volume of work as someone who is more concentrated in one field…

Sure, everyone has to make sacrifices to Time. For some, this means giving up SOME of their hobbies. For others, it means giving up what they’re actually interested in in order to make a living in this society (doing what they have no interest in).

They treat you like a child, but they expect you to act like an adult.

People can change, but you can't change people.

Quotes life philosophy

The Chinese and their Identity Crisis

The Chinese (from here on referring to those who grew up in China, with traditional Chinese values) don't really talk about having an "identity crisis" or "finding oneself". Growing up with very traditional Chinese parents myself, I have never heard them say to me "just be yourself". I assume when White kids struggle with career choices, their parents must lovingly tell say to them "take your time finding what you want to do, and just do what you're really passionate about." On the other hand, when I've spoken to my parents about not knowing what career path to take, they bombarded me with all sorts of suggestions of financially stable, respectful, and utterly boring jobs such as "accountant, Chinese medicine doctor, banker, and government official". Don't get me wrong, I have all sorts of respect for people within those professions who are passionate about their jobs and who excel in them...but that's not me. And it did not occur to my parents to ask me what I was interested in, or "where my passion lies". Thus, I've found myself very much steeped in an identity crisis where I had no idea what I wanted to do or where my passion lies (if such a thing even existed). Even now, my mom would always have an endless supply of "should's" to dictate my behaviour - "you should be outgoing and entertain all the aunties and uncles that are coming to our house for dinner" (nevermind what plans you have for the rest of the night and whether you enjoy their company or not) "you should go take an accounting course so you know how to deal with your finances" (nevermind if I want to be an account or if I'm interested in that course or not), "you should prepare a few songs to sing for our guests tonight" (nevermind whether I want to perform for the guests or whether I even enjoy singing or not). They've raised me with so many "should's" that I don't even know what I "would" do if I was given the choice! I don't think it's any wonder I didn't know what my passion was - I was never given any chance to explore them! Of course, I can't blame my parents for their good intentions - they mean well I'm sure. They want me to make "all the right choices" in life, to be successful, to not struggle with money, and to live well. They've just not considered having a passion and doing what you love to be necessary for happiness or success. I can't blame them because they've never been told that by their parents or their teachers growing up either.

#china #cultureclash #culture #chineseculture #culturalbarrier #westvseast

The difference between those who succeed and those who don't is not that they want more, but that they end up achieving more.

Don't be so afraid of losing others that you lose yourself.

#ponderings #thoughts #quotestoliveby

How To Get The Relationship You Deserve

I've been reading the relationship blog "A New Mode" and Sabrina offers a lot of really good advice. Here are the top tips that I think every person should keep in mind when seeking a relationship - it will help you get the one you deserve! 1) Matching is important. Only reveal as much about yourself as he does. What he reveals to you about himself will tell you what type of person he is. 2) Be unpredictable. Act as you would if you had other guys and other things going on in your life; don't always respond right away or always be available to meet up. Don't ever make him the priority when you're not yet his. 4) We appreciate what we had to EARN. Make him wonder whether you like him or not - then he will WORK to get you to like him. 5) Don't let him push you into doing anything you aren't yet ready for. Show that you respect yourself and he will respect you. Someone who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve you.

#dating #datingadvice #relationships #relationshipadvice #anewmode