I’m kind of new to Tumblr. I thought it would be a good Idea to catalog everything that happened at RTX and my life changing experience at the 2nd RWBY Panel. My name is Serenity, Serena for short. And I had the greatest day when the people I idolized and admired gave me a hug after I told them my story...and what followed after will be with me for the rest of my life. I love you guys...if its TLDR just skip to Day 3.
This was the hardest day for me, I have some pretty bad social anxiety to the point its hard for me to go grocery shopping alone. So being among a bunch of strangers and I mean tons of strangers was pretty terrifying. The lines were agonizing, we waited for almost 3 hours to get into the expo hall. I made small chat when I could with a girl next to me who was dressed as a baseball player and a girl who had purple hair who is a Yang cosplayer named Lydia. I stuck to my room mate and his friends like I was their shadow cause I didnt want to get left alone. They knew how important it was for me, I wanted to meet Arryn and Barbara and tell them how much they mean to me and how much the characters they play mean to me. I met a friend I made on facebook who was cosplaying as Ruby (She is so cute). I got a few compliments cause I was wearing my “Bitches love Canons” T-shirt. My room mate suddenly grabbed me and pointed to the side and there basically all alone and walking through the Expo was Lindsay. I bee lined towards her, and no one was around and I just went. “A-Are you who I think you are?” And she said “Yep!” She signed one of my favorite Ruby images I printed out and took a picture with me. I asked her if I could do my Ruby impression which I am pretty good at and she told me to go for it so “Yaaaaaaaaaang”. Throughout the convention I took a lot of pictures of great cosplayers, I really admire cosplayers being able to do that and it looks so much fun. I also found a guy that works for RTX who responded to my email inquiry with a rather heartfelt response...I told him I would try to find him and give him a hug. Low and behold the first person I ask was him and I just threw my arms open, he was pretty excited and so was I. At one point I got separated from my room mate and his friends and started to panic. I went outside and just found a spot to huddle down in the shade and started desperately texting. I have a tendency to look down and avoid eye contact with anyone when things get overwhelming. Thankfully one of my room mates friends who I find really reliable came and found me and rallied the others so we could go back to the hotel room and eat. After that I just decompressed...had a few drinks at the empty bar at the hotel room with my room mates reliable friend. After that he told me to come out with him to meet up with some other people from the con that wanted to hit a bar and relieve “Line Stress”. I was kind of apprehensive about it cause I prefer quiet places with barely any people. Buuuut after the few drinks I had I was feeling loose so..why the hell not. I met up with TK and Melissa...two amazing people. I got plastered, I had so much liquid courage and with Melissa with me she and I were just doing whatever was fun. We talked and I poured my heart out about how much I would love to meet Arryn and Barbara and tell them how much they mean to me. I got so plastered...yet I was just talking to random guys from the Con without any problems who gathered around our Jenga game. I even did my Cinder impression. After a wonderful night I road some sorta gondola thing back to the hotel...I was so drunk I totally spent 45$ for it instead of 10$ for an Uber.
Hangover city, but something about last night...Melissa and I had poured our souls out to each other in alcoholic fassion. I felt really good and comfortable. Today I was able to traverse the con without any problems. I took more pictures of Cosplayers and fangirled out to a 2B cosplayer (I love Nier). Bought a bunch of shirts but I had one killer headache. Lydia came and found me and showed off her Yang cosplay...which was awesome and did a Bumbleby pose with me and her friend took pictures for me. I tried to go to the signing panel to hopefully wait in line and meet Arryn but they would not let anyone in unless they had an Autograph code...and they filled up before I could redeem mine. I was pretty upset after that. That plus a killer hangover pretty much killed my aspirations to do anything the rest of the day...I went back to the hotel room and just laid in the bed and took some headacke medicine. The one good thing about the day...MORE METAL DETECTORS AND LESS LINE WAITS. The roomie and friends went out drinking again but I passed and stayed at the hotel to nurse my migrane.
This was my last chance. I got up early left the hotel room and got and Uber all by myself. Went to the convention and B-lined for the Ruby panel and managed to get a seat near the microphone. Everything was great I am totally buying box of pumpkin petes. The moment they said “We’re going to open up for Q-” Anything that was said after that wasnt heard because I had severe tunnel vision. I was out of my seat following the two guys that I sat next to. I managed to get in line but at this point I started panicking. So I just picked a spot on the floor and looked at it. Every time I looked up and saw my face on the screen I thought I looked horrible and quickly looked down again. I felt sorry for the guy I sat near that brought his RWBY fan video thing and was told to give it to the guardian. Everyone was crammed in real tight and it was sort of an uncomfortable situation. I felt really bad for the guy who asked for an autograph for his sword. Ok so, dont ask for autographs. Then it was my turn, I was absolutely terrified. I wanted to make it short and quick for the people behind me so they can have a turn. The original thing was going to be: “I love you guys and I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me. When I came out I was basically abandoned by my family and my brother threatened to beat me up if I ever went near his children. There are three things that bring light into my life: Thats my friends who have become my family, My boyfriend (Who introduced me to RWBY BTW), and RWBY. Barbara, Yang means a lot to me because she has the confidence I dont have, I want to be like her. And Blake means the world to me because I know what its like to be discriminated against because of what you are, and not who you are. I love you all an I look forward to seeing more RWBY in the future” bow...exit stage left...thats not how it went down. I got as far as Barbara...I saw Miles get up and run down the isle and I lost my shit. Miles ran up to me and hugged me and its really hard for me to remember what he said cause I was just so shocked. I think it was something like “You are a beautiful wonderful person and we love you” and then all the sudden I feel more arms around me and I look up and its OMFG Arryn and Lindsay. I rememer hearing Arryn say “Wow her nails are really cute” And I just remember whispering repeatedly “Thank you so much” to Miles. Then Arryn came in for a hug and I just died. I wish I could remember what she said, but I was just so shocked...I think she said “You are a beautiful person” but I just kept saying “Thank you so much, I love you, you mean so much to me” And then Lindsay came up and I was like “Oh Hi again” and kind of smiled a bit and gave her a hug. Then I could hear Vic asking for my name. So I said Serena...but that came out all squeeky so I said it again. And then there was a moment where nothing was happening so I was like. Should I continue speaking or what?...I was not registering So being just an absolute wreck I was like “So Blake means” and that was just shattered by the very gentle voice of Vic. “Look around this room cause you are surrounded by thousands of friends” I was just...so happy...hearing the applause...I tried to look around so it was like...People clapping and cheering...floor...people clapping and cheering...floor...and then there was a pause. And I asked “Do I continue?” and then just turned and spoke “I just wanted to say that Blake means a lot to me because I know whats its like to be discriminated against based off of what you are and not who you are. And Barbara (Meant to say Yang but I was a total mess) means so much to me because she represents the self esteem and confidence I wish I had” and I just had to stop because I started losing it. So looking at the floor again. I heard Barbara said she was coming down...more hugs...more hugs. And then I look up and Barbara! Again it was really hard for me to remember everything specifically cause I was in such shock that this was really happening. She said something akin to “You are a beautiful and amazing person and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. You had the confidence to tell everyone your story” Or something like that...god I wish I could remember but it was just so surreal. I thought Barbara would get a kick out of the Image I had on my Binder and she laughed. Miles gave me another hug and said more wonderful things and I asked him “I know I am asking too much and you guys are busy, can I get you guys to autograph this?..Maybe later?” (Afterwards I felt really petty and bad about asking for this after they gave me such amazing hugs and an experience I will never forget I guess I was just trying to have something to remember the moment) and he said “I’m really sorry, we’re all really busy right now but I will autograph something for you real quick” and he signed my camp camp flag. So I returned to my seat and just...kind of stared at the floor. I was trying to calm down. Everything else that was going on around me was just a blur, then all the sudden I hear Barbara “Serena where are you girl?” So I looked up from the floor and raised my hand and she brought me a YANG FIGURE THEY ALL AUTOGRAPHED. ( Image 1 Image 2 ) and I was just smiling and sort of in a cave woman mode. I didnt even realized it was signed I was like “S-S-Sign?” (Again felt really petty and bad for that but...I was not functioning in the brain properly at the time) and she just pointed at it and I looked down. Whabam...they had all signed it...I was dead “Thank you so much, thank you so much” was really the only thing I could make out and she went back to the panel. It all just came out...I was crying and my hands were shaking...everything after that was just a blur.
After the Panel (THIS IS AMAZING)
People were filing out and I was just sitting there crying. My friend who I met on facebook and meeted up with at the convention who was cosplaying as Ruby came and sat next to me. She had tears in her eyes and she just hugged me “You did it!” and we just sat there hugging and crying. I looked up and standing there oh so patiently waiting for us to finish our moment was Chivy Oum. The tears came again I said “Oh my god its you. I was looking for you the other day” and I just moved in to hug him. I told him. “I know what its like to lose someone, I lost my sister. I really feel for you. I love you so much” (I lost my older sister in an accident when I was 13). And he just spoke in a calm voice. “If Monty was here he would have loved hearing what you said, he would have loved this” And I just cried my eyes out. Eventually we parted and I just hugged him a bunch more...then sat and hugged and cried with Ruby again. A few people just came up and hugged me, said wonderful things. A guy came up with a foam replica of Gambol shroud and said “This was the last one they had, you deserve this” and he just gave it to me. I was just smiling and just so emotional I hugged him. Then a guy in a grim mask with a cane scared us...cause he came out of my periph. He quickly took off the mask and said he was sorry and took off the mask and hugged me and said what I did was very brave. At this point a Guardian came in and said we had to get out and I walked and talked with Ruby. On the way out I was hugged by a few more people who said nice things and at this point I just had to calm down and find a nice quiet place. On the way out I got approached by a person who said “I don’t normally give hugs but you deserve one” and she hugged me. For every hug..I always said thank you. I finally made it outside and sat down and just decompressed. Some time after an older woman who was cosplaying as Kali came outside and sat next to me. And she told me how she is a mother and she loves and supports her son no matter what and she cannot fathom how my family cannot. And we just talked and talked and shared stories. I felt so calm and relaxed around her...and she gave me a cigarette (I needed one, but I RARELY smoke). We had a long talk about our lives and things like that and we exchanged contact information. After calming down a bit I went back inside and one after the other there was a person there to give me a hug and tell me that I’m part of the family now. People told me that I am brave, people told me how touched they were by what I said. Some people asked if I wanted to go to the quiet room with them but on the way there I got stopped by a guy who asked me for my autograph. I was like “Seriously? Um...wow ok” and...I accidentally pocketed his sharpy (Old habbit I picked up in the Air Force “Every Good Airman always carries a pen!”) I went to the Expo hall to get a souvenir for my friend. And I ran into two guys who told me that this is what Rooster Teeth is about. I’m part of one big family. And they said a lot of nice things. Picked up some souvenirs and was making my way out. A girl stopped me and asked me to sit with her and her friends. We talked and stuff like that and hugged and she told me she is an artist and she gave me a sketch of Blake Belladonna. We exchanged contact information and talked for a while and I had to head out..more hugs from random strangers...more kind words...and then I had to stop a Cinder Cosplayer and take her picture. “Hey arent you that girl from the Ruby Panel?” So I told her yes and she gave me a hug, and I gave her my best Cinder Impression ever. There was a beautiful girl with her...she told me what I said hit home for her cause she is Trans. Immediately I told her “I could not tell, you are just so beautiful and I love and support you” She opened up about how what I said hit home to her...she was recently fired from her job...just cause she’s Trans...that is so fucked up. I told her how horrible I thought that was and how stupid of them. We talked for a bit and exchanged contact info and parted ways...I was going to find a nice quiet spot to relax. On the way up the escalator I noticed a guy jumped out of his seat and smiled and moved over to hold up his hand...I just reached down and shook his hand I just smiled and said thank you...and he said something I could not hear but it sounded like “Your awesome” and that just made me smile. I went all the way up to the third floor where it seemed like there was not a soul. Everywhere I went at the convention I was approached and hugged it was just so moving. Checking my messages on my phone one of my friends told me Twitter exploded and sent me a link. Barbara retweeted “This” I never used Twitter before so I was trying to figure that out...I just wanted to tell her thank you. Then another girl walked up to me and threw her arms open and I stood up and gave her a hug. Even leaving the convention center it was hug after hug after hug. I stopped a few more cosplayers and noticed they were looking at me like they wanted to ask me something. So I was like “Did you go to the RWBY Panel?” “Yeah was that you” “Yeah” more hugs (Each hug is followed by nice words btw). I honestly cant remember the last time I got so many hugs. Some people asked me to show the figure they signed and gave me. And just so many people told me that I am part of the family, I am brave, I am courageous....really I am just flattered more than anything that something I did touched so many people. Finally after a day of many hugs, many kind words I got back in the truck and we drove home. On the way home I mostly spent the long drive talking to the many people I exchanged information with, wishing them safe trips and thanking them. When I got home...well I am a Role Player and actively Role Play as Blake and Yang and a bunch of Role Players heard about it and gave me This when I got home. Thank you Winty Mint! <3
The Day After the Convention.
I was so happy, I posted about my experience in two of the facebook groups I joined some time back. Bumbleby Bae’s and Ozpins Army. I got so many wonderful comments and the admin of Ozpins army was apparently three guys behind me in the Q&A Line. He said he was going to run up and give me a hug but Miles beat me to it. The entire day was spent talking to people and reading lovely comments and then someone linked me the vid on youtube...it all began to sink in and I just started crying again. I posted a comment on the video about my experience and that too was followed by nice things...but also some bad things. Some people were pretty upset that I shared what I did. They said “The rules said no Downer stories” I honestly swear I didn't hear that...what did hear was Kerry said he would like to hear stories how RWBY has touched peoples lives and I thought I fit into that category...so honestly if I upset you I am sorry, that was not my intention. One of the guys on facebook said he runs another RWBY Group.
I am just so shocked that all the nice comments and things keep coming. One person said “I hugged you!” and another told me they saw about it on Tumblr so I went to look and came up with the idea to make a blog post about my experience. Just the amount of support I am getting is overwhelming.
I am...completely overwhelmed by how much support everyone is giving me. After everything I have gone through to be accepted by so many people, to be hugged by so many people, to have so many wonderful words of encouragement said to me, to know that what I did inspired people (I have gotten a few messages from people on how it inspired them), and just how wonderful you have all been. Words cannot express this feeling I have, but I can sum it up as love. You have all given me so much love and thank you so much for that. And what you have given to me I will pass that on. Any time any of you have a bad day, want someone to talk to, want someone to pour your heart out to (I can keep a secret), or if you just want to talk or ask questions I will be there for you.
I love you all so very very much. And I am honored to be a part of this family.
