The Publishing Serf

If the good Lord wanted us to make friends, he would not have made cubicles, introvert without end amen

[thatsoneforamerica]

When Anyone Asks Me About a Book Series That I Love

I’m Like:

[thepublishingserf]

How I feel editing an especially dense, pedantic article into a readable piece of literature

[thepublishingserf]

they can’t reject your manuscript if you never finish writing it

[thepublishingserf]

your clients can’t yell at you if you never pick up your phone

[thepublishingserf]

When you love your job but you’ve got a dinner date with someone fine

[thepublishingserf]

When you’re having a meeting with the UK office and one of your American bosses keeps slipping into a British accent

[thepublishingserf]

Friends: Does working in a cube ever bother you Me: Nope it suits me Friend: Why Me: Business reasons Friend: What kind of-- Me: Important professional business reasons okay

[thepublishingserf]

My boss just asked how one of my tougher publication projects is going

I sent him this gif.

[thepublishingserf]

To all my authors today

Love, your editorial assistant

[librarianproblems]

WHEN I’M THE ONLY ONE AT BOOK CLUB WHO DIDN’T CARE FOR THE BOOK

[thepublishingserf]

Work: It's summer, so we're gonna lower the thermostat just a little bit; no cause for alarm; you won't even feel it

Me:

[novelistnonsense]

[thepublishingserf]

There's something deeply satisfying about ordering large amounts of food you don't have to pay for.

"Hello, Panera Bread"--

"Yes, HELLO! will have 12 fruit cups, 20 pastries, and a coffee carafe the size of a small Editorial Assistant."

"Oh. All right. Would you like some"--

"SEND US CREAM CHEESE ENOUGH TO FILL THE OCEAN, IN DIVERSE FLAVORS, WITH GILDED KNIVES TO SPREAD IT WITH"

"We also have"--

"KEEP OUR CHALICES BRIMMING WITH ORANGE JUICE, THAT WE MAY BE MERRY"

"What's the occasion?"

"... ... ...we publish encyclopedias."

[thepublishingserf]

When you solve a problem on your employer's website with an HTML tag you learned when you were 9 years old and playing on Neopets forums

[thepublishingserf]

Living on the Edge: Office Edition

Good news: I just downloaded Beyonce’s “Formation” to my work computer

Bad news: My headphones have a terrible habit of unplugging while I stream music

Bad news: There is a 60% chance my straightlaced office will be serenaded, by accident, with y’all haters corny with that Illuminati mess

Wait

I changed my mind

That last one is good news too

[thepublishingserf]

The Stages of Saying “No” to a Ridiculous Request

When a client asks the first time:

When a client asks a second time:

When a client asks a freaking third time:

[waypastquarterlifecrisismode]

When I have a shit ton of copy editing to get through and people email me about anything else

“Hey, are you in the office today?”

Nope, not for you.

[lifenacademicpublishing]

I love “nope, not for you.” That’s so accurate. My existence in this office right now is conditional. If you are important, I am. If you are not or are annoying, no, I’m not here.

[thepublishingserf]

Haha YEP. If I’m working on a time-sensitive project, here is how I react to your "SUPER SPECIAL EMERGENCIES:”