Found yourself a path upon the ground

Hey I'm Corvus and welcome to my blog. I'm on a quest for for immortality whether I want to be or not ever since this gods-forsaken laptop turned into a portal to the fuckin shadow realm. ((Independent roleplay blog for modern fantasy setting OC))

[lunehowls]

i like them did you know

[plumslices]

[thequeerarborist]

#tfw you realize you're living with an unstable, and well armed combat droid.

[k009]

The Fuckbringer shirt is now open for preorders!

Click here to preorder

All orders will be sent out in early February.

[thequeerarborist]

someone buy me this shirt

[thequeerarborist]

Our new door looks really secure which is awesome because the rival dealer at my school is getting really aggressive. Which might have had something to do with me threatening her after my horticulture class. Plus maybe we can hook up this keypad once we have power back. Wonder why it has a keyboard and all this shit. 

.....Eva is this door from a boat or some shit. 

[thequeerarborist]

"It is preferable, that you not ask. Maintaining plausible deniability. All that is important, is that this gap in your defenses is now secure."

"Ah yes plausible deniability, that word that's kept me out of jail for ages. So we got the door repaired now I just need to find a source of income." 

[thequeerarborist]

"geez kid, we gotta work on that jaw, you went out like a light"

"Oh shut up some of us aren't boxing queens made of fuckin' indestructainium. You try getting punched in the by a super fighting robot!" 

[thequeerarborist]

"Squad Leader, I have installed the replacement door."

"...This looks suspiciously like, not civilian? Where in the seven hells did you get that? it looks like a bulk head!" 

[thequeerarborist]

OK i'm not sure the robot is comin' back woahhhhh 

*Corvus has been KO'd would you like to offer assistance*

[thequeerarborist]

"Order, acknowledged." SUPER FIGHTING ROBOT LEFT HOOK OF JUSTICE. "Objective complete. I have to go now. I will return shortly."

"Wait what the fuc-OW OH MY GODS MY FUCKING FACE NOW I KNOW HOW THE DOOR FEELS.  EVA GET THE FUCK  BACK HERE AND FIND A RAG OR SOMETHING TO STOP THE BLEEDING.  MY POOR BEAUTIFUL NOSE " 

[thequeerarborist]

OK broken door, check

Disgruntled robot who broke my door and is brooding like a teenage girl? check 

Billi breaking into my house and then stealing my Naruto DVDs. Check?

Someone wanna come in here and punch me in the face or something. Because that's all this day is missin'.  

[thequeerarborist]

"Designation: saved. That is not possible. You have not seen me angry."

"Wait that's not you angry? Then whats the cute dial up noise? I thought that was angry Eva. Are you talking to the coffee maker or something?" 

[thequeerarborist]

"Hey dork! Tell me how to work this blog thing and I will give you your naruto dvds back, fail and I will do some speedbag trainin with em'"

"Wait... Billi? When did you get a tumblr. Scratch that when did you my Naruto DVDs and how do you know about them.

OK OK, so you evidently know how to log in. you can reblog other peoples shit by clicking the weird little symbol on the bottom right, you post your own shit through the top bar. 

Can I have my weeb trash back now before someone finds out I like narutu..." 

[thequeerarborist]

"Negative."

"Whelp. Have fun with that door beeps.

You did know when I'm saying beeps I meant you right? Because you're a cute robot?  And when you're angry you sound like a fax machine?" 

[thequeerarborist]

"Cause: unknown. I will return shortly."

",,,,,That's never a good sign. Eva you know I don't mind you living here you could just knock or try a door knob. Do I want to know where you're getting that door?" 

[thequeerarborist]

"You should consider acquiring additional funds. And a stronger door."

"Well I could get into the magic mushroom business, pixie dust has been selling well recent and mom always said not put all my eggs in one basket. or drugs in this case. Why is the door broken anyways Eva, if you needed to get in you could just ask for a set of keys. Anyways,  you could acquire a  new door ? .

….Doesn’t have to be through legal means.” 

[thequeerarborist]

"Squad Leader, your front door has been destroyed. The cause of this is unknown. This is a significant breach in your defenses, and should be rectified immediately."

"....Cause is unknown huh. Would the cause have anything to do with the splinters of wood on your chassis? Where am I gonna get the  money for a door, i'm using you as a book light cause' the power is cut! "