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@thequeerchemistry
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Different person, but, I've seen some people who are older in the community claiming that kink and polyamory have historically been considered part of the community. I don't know enough about the history there, do you know anything on that? I've been on the "no" side with those two, but I mean, I don't really know anything that would go against those historical claims, so do you know if are they true?
I don’t know any history surrounding that but kinks and poly are not LGBT+. They deviate from social norms, certainly, but they’re adjectives, not subjects.
okay idk if that made sense im not an english major guys
Okay so I’ve made about a dozen of these posts in the last month or two, so I’m not going to get as exhaustive as I sometimes do, but here’s the history that my mother and aunties taught me about kink and polyamory as queer.
When I was growing up, I was told that the kink community was the physical space in which the queer community existed and that non-monogamy/polyamory as the concepts that exist today were born directly out of queer culture and the environments that shaped it.
Basically, back in the early years when most of queer culture was an arrestable offense and people mostly only got to meet their partners in the backrooms of old speakeasies and nightclubs, kink spaces were doing the same thing and were one of the only non-mob owned options for gatherings. Kink communities themselves were almost entirely made up of queer folks already anyways because surprise surprise a community made mostly of abuse survivors is gonna have pretty high rates of queer folks in it. And because of the semi-public nature of the spaces and the limited safe dating options polyamory and related non-monogamous practices became common place.
They became so common place in fact that queerness and queer culture completely and foundationally shaped the discussions around consent, relationship needs, emotional connections, and ethical behavior that became central to kink and polyamory as practices. They became so common place in part because it made sense, in part because the cultures all needed each other, and in part because, as my mother always said, “if society had already damned you just for being queer, what did you have to lose by trying all the other things society was going to damn you for as well?” This, incidentally, is also why there have historically been such high numbers of queer folk in illegal occupations like sex work and why my mom and aunties also used to consider sex work as a culture pretty fucking queer too.
But the years went by and your average, “respectable” white gay and lesbian folks with their picket fence day dreams started making progress. They started kicking people to the curb in an effort to make queerness look less “challenging” and different. Bye bye, bisexuals, bye bye drag and trans culture, bye bye non-monogamy what do you mean you actually think the “slippery slope” to gay marriage also leading to polygamy might be a good thing? Bye bye all you sex freaks, sexuality is something your born with and you can’t help who you love, it’s not like all that disgusting talking-about-sex-and-building-the-entire-network-of-sex-ed-information-we-used-to-desperately-try-and-survive-the-AIDS-crisis-ew-you-perverts-our-sex-is-beautiful-and-pure-like-marriage! And so on and so forth.
See, when it was all about survival, the distinction that Straight people drew between gay, kinky, polyamorous, trans, ace, etc was irrelevant. They’d kill us all the same so we might as well band together and make a world in which the next generation might not just live but thrive. But once it became about gaining access to state acceptance and making room within the legal framework that already existed, those of us who were too scary to Straight society, who still needed the hierarchy destroyed, not just expanded, became dead weight. Our labor, our physical space, our intellectual efforts all became irrelevant and all that mattered was when the Straights looked at White Cis Gays they saw Us instead. So the White Cis Gays fixed that by making it clear they thought we were just as disgusting as the Straights thought we were. They abandoned us and took our history and our language and our fucking lives with them and said we weren’t ~allowed~ to have it. And because those of us who were marginalized in many ways or who were doubly or triply damned were more likely to have suffered massive losses during the AIDS crisis and to still be living in poverty, in crime, and in general destitution of social capital, we’ve been fighting an uphill battle not to be erased ever since.
So now you have a whole generation or two or three who grew up being told a sanitized history where a “drag queen” threw the first brick at Stonewall, Pride wasn’t started by one of the bisexual Queens of Kink, and non-monogamy hasn’t been the natural progression of so many of our communities for generations. And they tell us we never existed, we’re just secret straighties thinking our gross sex lives make us queer, we could just choose to be respectable and “normal” like everyone else and then we wouldn’t be “bullied” (because god forbid our actual oppression be recognized) and they completely miss the irony.
And as much as I hate that I have to list my credentials in order for there to be a chance in burning hell for this response to be considered legitimate, I am the nonbinary, bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, intersex child of a bisexual, kinky, polyamorous woman who spent all of my life and most of hers in the heart of Queer culture and politics to the point that she put me on the stand in front of the entire school board and a third of the state at age 10 to fight for our right to participate in the Day of Silence without fear of suspension, expulsion, abuse, or injury/death. I was on my mother’s hip at the state capitol protests with police in riot gear ready to do whatever it took to prevent us from entering the building. I am Queer in so many ways, including ones no one can dare fucking argue and so was my mother before me and my aunties before her, and this is THEIR history I am telling and will keep telling until I’m dead because I will rot before I let people erase their memories, blood, and joy from our history by claiming that kink and polyamory don’t belong.
I apologize for that all sounding angry and upset. It is not aimed at anyone in particular. I am just very very tired and it’s almost Passover which means that my auntie’s are a lot more on my brain than usual and I am just so exhausted by the way I have been mocked and belittled for months now over things that were simply Truth when I was growing up. Please understand how much history is denied and how many ancestors are dishonored by this rhetoric of “who REALLY belongs in the community?”
We were not supposed to be an exclusive club with a guard at the gate. We were supposed to be a role model by which society learned to better itself and treat us ALL with dignity and humanity. And I am tired of seeing people pretend otherwise.
Reblog if you, too, are not dead- only tired and ugly.
Sending these out today to an adorable customer 💓🌈
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top surgery recovery has given me a lot of time to think, which is both epic and not. Been thinking a lot about past selves, past experiences, and how they all led up to me being the person I am today. I dont like the “I was born in the wrong body” rhetoric because I think it removes the agency for trans people to self-determination of our identities, nor do I like trans identities to be reduced to our bodies. I was that little girl, and I am not ashamed of her, nor was she ever my enemy. We do not have to reject our past selves to validated in our current selves, and I will continue to cherish the little girl in my head because she helped me become the person I am now <3
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Hi, I'm 25 and debating starting male-to-female HRT. However, I'm scared that HRT won't help me at all. It seems like HRT does so little after puberty, especially by the time one gets in their 20s. I'm really scared that I'll just end up being someone in a male body, but with breasts. Is there anything you can say to someone having this fear? Thank you, and sorry, I suspect this is a silly question.
Actually, the claim that HRT doesn’t do much after puberty is a myth. I started when I was 31 years old and now I’m 35. =)
It’s never too late to transition!
Yeah, anon, have you seen my timeline? I started at 29.
It’s never too late.
Seriously, I transitioned at 39 and I’m 41 now. Hormones are magic whatever your age and while some things stay, many things change and it’s been totally worth it for me.
OMG!!! I love seeing posts like this. The hope it inspires. especially in girls like me, is unprecedented. Thank you!
Hope
I felt the same way before I started transitioning and especially because I have a fair masculine build. But you know what I’ve learned from my experience so far? Fuck it! There is always hope and you could end up surprising yourself with the results.
I think results vary, I don’t see much difference between pre-hrt and 8 years on hrt
Just adding another voice to the barrage: It. Is. Never. Too. Late!
The top two pictures are from 2011, age 32. The bottom three are from this yeah, 2016, age 37, and (almost) 2 years on hrt. Hrt is magic.
Never.
Too late.
REBLOGING!!! Always! Forever!
Reblog to help someone find the courage uwu
Always reblog
Look at these amazing and brave women!!!! A reminder to all my followers, it’s not too late!! You can do it!!!!!
This is what I needed to see in my day ☺️ I’m only 23 but I think about making this change on a daily basis and it’s been 3 years since I’ve been thinking that. Hrt is in my future (:
Look at all these gorgeous women! <3
THIS is what i needed to be able to send to my struggling trans friends
Id still like a ftm version of this post
Disability pride month
July is Disability Pride Month. The first Disability Pride started in Boston, MA in 1990 but it has since become an international celebration. The aim of Disability Pride is described by the founders of Disability Pride NYC to “promote inclusion, awareness, and visibility of people with disabilities, and redefine public perception of disability”.
The disability pride flag
The Disability Pride flag has some very interesting symbolism interpreted by the artist which include:
The Black Field: this field is to represent the disabled people who have lost their lives due to not only their illness, but also negligence, suicide, and eugenics.
The Lightning Bolt: the shape of the lightning bold represent the non-lateral lives that many disabled people live, often having to adapt themselves or their physical routes to get around an inaccessible society.
The Colours: each colour on this flag represents a different aspect of disability or impairment:
Blue: mental illness
Yellow: cognitive and intellectual disabilities
Green: sensory perception disabilities
Red: physical disabilities
The white stripe stands for invisible and undiagnosed disabilities. So even if you are struggling to get a diagnosis or worry your lack of diagnosis means you don’t belong, you absolutely do.
You are part of our history, our community and our fight.
Happy Disability Pride Month.
(anyone aware of a version that's a little less eyestrain-y? aesthetically me and the colours aren't best friends, but symbolically it's fucking sick (complimentary) esp the lightning bolts but the narrowness makes it rly hard for me to look at)
There's a yellow stripe version, that I think the UN uses?
But you know what? Nothing is stopping us from making the above flag more accessible to those of us with visual processing issues. Maybe widen the stripes?
Adaptability is key to disability thriving and there is no reason we cant adapt it to accommodate a wider set of needs.
Also I’m going to add this because I wrote it in my original tags and people keep adding it in:
The parallel lines also represent unity and solidarity between disabilities. We fight together, for each other.
Asexual and aromantic people always belong in the LGBTQIAP+ community, full stop.
[Image: Two graphics with colored text on a patterned off-white background. The first reads “Asexual people always belong in the LGBTQ community” in purple; the second reads “Aromantic people always belong in the LGBTQ community” in green.]
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Queer Chemistry Enamel Pins <3