doom despair depravity @theratwhobarked - Tumblr Blog

maybe i write the au where jax accepts being loved and supported. what then.

oh my god im in the middle of writing and i just thought about something that made my stomach sink through my ass.

the jax maid outfit scene hits with such a different kind of hurt when you think about that event happening after the bow incident.

and the maid outfit was zooble's idea. they can be seen whispering to gangle before gangle goes :0 and then the vote starts.

like the parallel in these scenes is crazy. jax is going through the same emotions of being terrifyingly seen and known. and he is so scared and ashamed of that.

i am just thinking about it a lot bc of this sceneeeee im fucking writing again of him being kinda forcefemmed but also maybe i need to ribbun out and have this kind of moment with gangle being like no i understand u like. its ok egg. pspsps

LIKE. YOU UNDERSTAND. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

#im incoherent im switching this over to my sludge account bc i cant save another draft but these are high thoughts #i need to gather them later. but i need them OUT!!!!

fantasyinsanity

deep breath, 'kay?

#ribbun

extra bunny mode rn

#vibrates #i shant elaborate #i just hate it and it needs to stop before i go crazy #i get so nervous on how vulnerable i can get here. theres basically no one here except there is. so. uhm. sweats #OFJSNFNSMCNAMCBANCBANBDNSD #like listen this is my freak journal if its tmi thats your fault for following. ok. guh #WHATEVER!!!!!

humiliationvictim

I’m getting too much attention I’m going to throw up

humiliationvictim

Humiliated again…

humandisconnected

Humiliated again 🤤🤤🤤

humiliationvictim

Well it’s not a good thing at all

#im giggling so much im sorry op

humiliationvictim

I don’t even want to talk about it

humiliationvictim

i do not have a humiliation fetish i really dont like it at all. its something that i dont like happening to me

humiliationvictim

I don’t like being humiliated

humiliationvictim

Humiliated again…

humiliationvictim

Constantly humiliated

nagogi

#AYO‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#abstrabbit

ok cool now i cant stop thinking about abstrabbit degradation awesome👍

#i have a fucking. thing incmy notes. guh. guh guh #i should start posting my horny notes snippets here #im ready to be just the most unhinged on this account oh my god its going to be the best. the best For me? mayhaps not. but also? maybe!#journal just isnt hitting anymore i dont have a fun tag system and my thoughts cant keep up also this feels more private #i almost literally vomited about a week or so ago becayse i couldnt find my notebook with my porn in it and i was worried i left it #with my fucking FAMILY #when they visited #i ended up finding it and it was fine #but i had a whole crashout about it. hyperventilating and all. throwing shit around the apartment. i am sooo emotionally stable you guys.#pearl is fine #so yeah my silly little blog feels much safer is what im saying #anyway. abstrabbit degradation scene😮‍💨😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫🤐🤭🫣#i cant do this #i mean i literally already did it read my fic lmao #but oh my god i want MORE💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥#and also in my fic it was like. an undertone. a Hint. i want them to actually get into it and also im thinking real hard now about #ok you have hands and you can type bit hcGO DO IT #i have no time and i must type #thinks really hard about that one art i saw on bluesky of zooble with jax on a leash dry humping their foot okay bye #floats away like a plastic bag #jax being the degrader and zooble having complex thoughts about it.#no but i love them having this fucking delicious dynamic of. jax bitches and throws insults and it just pisses zooble off and makes them #meaner but jax likes it that way and also zooble is in such like. GGGGGRRRHGGGGGGG like oh my god they hate that theyre so into the whole #thing #they have sooooo much self hatred and disgust over it actually #like oh mygod i Am a freak. and a pervert /neg and jax is like yeah you are /neg but then rhey fuck nasty anyway because both of them become #almost dependent on having this weird outlet where they know the other has no business actually judging the other for what theyre into #OH MYNGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ITS MY FUCKING!!!DRUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I CANT WAIT TO WRITE MORE OF THEM I NEED TO HURRY THE FUCK UO WITH CHAPTER TWO BC IM ACTUALLY SO TIRED WTITING JAXS WHINY ASS VOICE #I WANT TOWRITE ZOOBLE SO BAD I MISS IT AND I LOVE HOW. I LOVE THEIR THOUGHTS I LOVE THEM ZOOBLE I LOVW YOU

theratwhobarked

the way pearl has a toxic relationship with amethyst in the way that shes codependent on having this person she can look down upon and scold and turn her nose to. so she can feel better about herself. shes soooo fucking. VAIN ok just needed to vomit this thought pearl vent

theratwhobarked

and then on the other side of it is amethyst who is fully aware pearl does this and tolerates it anyway because it validates all the shitty ways she feels about herself even though she tries to put on this facade that she doesnt gaf what ppl think ok i need to stop before i give myself psychic damage

the way pearl has a toxic relationship with amethyst in the way that shes codependent on having this person she can look down upon and scold and turn her nose to. so she can feel better about herself. shes soooo fucking. VAIN ok just needed to vomit this thought pearl vent

#pearl is fine.#shes so secure #she has everything under control! you guys #she doesnt need anyone.#pearl #disclaimer so nobody starts coming for my throat i have a deep love for pearl this is a personal vent in affection. ggrrhhhggg #its complicated #theres layers #someone in my head is cringing and clowning on me so hard right now pleasseee fuck off so bad right now.

i bet it feels good to be a spider that gets crushed in the bathtub bc you are just a thing that frightens people

#pre shower thought as i crush the spider in my bathtub wishing him a great journey onto the next life #why do i have like a thing with being crushed. first it was the pinecones now this #is that a thing #ignoring the thought that just said i bet it feels good to be e*ten WHAT!!!!!!!! okay this is the SECOND instance of the night. whats going #on #already had a draft typed that i cant even post here bc im just like HUH!!!!!!!?#it was more abstrabbit related though. i wanna explore weird kinks with them i think i want that to be a big thing #GGGRRRRR AND ZOOBLE FEELS SO. A CERTAIN WAY ABOUT IT #their love with gangle is so easy #and with jax its soo. so. difficult. and complex #they hate him. they want to control him. they pity him. they empathize with him #ffhhhg gg ghh h gg hhgg #then gangle they.#wow ok theyre just in love and its like #such this special thing to them. i almost kinda wanna make gangle and zoob queerplatonic......ok #UHHGGGGHGHHHHJ #but zooble and jax are not in love #they never will be.#thats not what this is zooble #what if i make jax accidentally fall in love #Oh. OH.#🔥🔥🔥#okay thinking. marinaring. deliberating #okay yeah wow i am going to love having this account i needed this bad welcome to my nasty little journal

tragicwaif

now let’s see him getting triggered during sex

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