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in the world of ai

if you try to be human above any human - you will prevail, ai will lose

if you try to be ai above any ai - you will also win, ai will lose

so what i hope for my children - just be as human as much as you can. play when you get bored, do things you love, go with the flow, be good at nothing and everything. love the shit out of this world. learn to heal yourself when we couldnt heal you. be a human.

it is funny how life turned out

4 years fast forward - past fathers day yesterday and absolutely was upset with the significant half. except i have tried to tell myself and counsel myself through ai many times and now understand that hes not the one that who could provide me any sort of emotional support. just nothing, and ive learnt to accept it and frankly after 1000 times of failing it doesnt seem that im able to shake that feeling off.

that he doesnt really listen, for the 1000 times ive said it in this lifetime.

but even in tarrot i got the empress card, meaning i run this fucking town with or without him (and admittedly sometimes when its just me and my army of helpers and support/rapport village people) i feel much at ease.

doesnt matter. but what i fidn today at yoga is that i've hidden all these feelings all these times and i wanted to let go and lose control

thats when my sacral chakra tells me you need a fking break gurl, you need to losen up and let your insecurities take over, pour it out and then break free from the skin you're living and breathing. ugh.

today comes the day i celebrate my ability to create life.

haven't posted in a while and i decided i will make a positive note on how great things life is right now.

1. my baby boy asher is due end of may 2022. so much to say about this news, and words dont exact describe how intense my love is already growing inside of me for this little human being. it's like a natural mother instinct thing. the pattern app is absolutely right about my destiny shifts from this year. the dynamics and my life goal will forever change after the arrival of this human being and i just cannot wait, i love you baby. :)

2. love prevails everything. money wise joe and i are just doing very fine now but there is of course the desire to make more for our little prince. but i have every faith in joe and myself that we will see our baby boy as the drive as our motivation. we might not be immensely rich but we will always make way and strive for the best for our baby. I have faith in us and this confidence and drive will connect the cosmic power and the universe to help us along the way.

3. to all the boys i've loved and showed interest for in the past - i announce that i havent cared for someone like i do for joe so intensely ever before and he is the only one. the pattern app is right again. he is my past life friend, family and love. he will always be the center of my attention (besides asher, of course), the father of my child, my life-long partner-in-crime.

Your security is your ability to connect with the cosmic power that creates all things, it does not come with your job, your spouse, your parents, your investments or bank account.

By Louise Hay

All is well in my world.

In the infinity of life where I am,

All is perfect, whole and complete.

I live in harmony and balance with everyone I know.

Deep at the centre of my being, there is an infinite well of love.

I now allow this love to flow to the surface.

It fills my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness,

My very belong, and radiates out from me in all directions and returns to me multiplied.

The more Iove I use and give, the more I have to give.

The supply is endless.

The use of love makes me feel good;

It is an expression of my inner joy. I love myself;

Therefore, I take loving care of my body.

I lovingly feed it nourishing foods and beverages

I lovingly groom it and dress it, and my body lovingly responds to me with vibrant health and energy.

I love myself; therefore, I provide for myself a comfortable home, one that fills all my needs and is a pleasure to be in.

I fill the rooms with the vibration of love so that all who enter, myself included, will feel this love and be nourished by it.

I love myself; therefore, I work at a job I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with and for people I love who love me, and earning a good income.

I love myself; therefore, I behave and think in a loving way to all people for I know that which I give out returns to me multiplied.

I only attract loving people in my world, for they are a mirror of what I am.

I love myself; therefore I forgive and totally release the past and all past experiences, and I am free.

I love myself; therefore I live totally in the now, experiencing each moment as good and knowing that my future is bright and joyous and secure,

For I am a beloved child of the Universe, and the Universe lovingly takes care of me now and forever more. All is well in my world.

2 years later here I am again.

It was August 2019 that tinks had closed its doors and i decided not to pursue the crypto journey with pspt and took a leap into something stable and new.

now i thought MC would be a place where i can settle down and have kids (2 altogether) and have that job where i can wfh most of the time (and yes Im still doing it thank god touchwood) but on friday a surprising and shocking news came to hit us all, but again, i should've seen it coming given the low and shit activity level that we've seeing for the past two years.

slow biz milestones, >30% turnover, big structural changes, projects with issues and in crises... everything that shouldnt happen to an ib has indeed happened, only over two years. but of course, these all stem from a series of unfortunate events.

including the shit leadership and non-existent communications from the leadership team. their unwillingness to openly talk about things in this toxic nonexistent psychological safety culture. zero connection within the team and no sense of belonging. the leaders are coward and nothing are said and truth nor transparency in this so-called 'need-to-know' culture. no one wants to feedback. and people left with bitterness. its not something an IT refresh or fancy new perks or swags can fix. these issues are underpinned into the every action we do or, not do.

the team remains un-driven, un-motivated, people dont pursue calculated risks anymore, they only choose safe choices that won't get them trouble but. at the same time, doesnt bring them anywhere.

people are burnout doing things they dont feel they resonate with. people are burdened with unknown and secrets from the management. people hate this company. i hate this company.

Quotes from The Socrates Express

Knowledge is something you possess. Wisdom is something you do. It is a skill and like all skills, one you can learn. But it requires effort. Expecting to acquire wisdom by luck is like expecting to learn to play violin by luck.

Perhaps the greatest obstacle is other people. When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people you deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, jealous and surly. Dealing with difficult people can be done by disempowering them. Revoke their license over your life. Other people can't hurt you.

Enough of this wretched whining, monkey life. You could be good today. But instead you chose tomorrow. He has a duty to get out of bed. "Duty" not "obligation". There is a difference. Duty comes from inside, obligation from outside. When we act out of a sense of duty, we do so voluntarily to lift ourselves, and others, higher. When we act out of obligation, we do so to shield ourselves, and only ourselves, from repercussions.

For Socrates, none of these qualified as serious questions. A serious question steps into uncharted waters. A serious question carries risk, like striking a match in in a dark room. You don't know what you'll find when the room illuminates - monsters or miracles - but you stike the match anyway. That's why serious questions are uttered not confidently but clumsily, hesitantly, with all the gangly awkwardness of a teenager.

For Socrates, nothing was more important, or courageous.

The unexamined life may not be worth living, but neither is the overexamined one. "Ask yourself if you are happy and you ease to be so," said the British philosopher John Stuart Mill, articulating the Pleasure Paradox (Hedoism). The more we try to seize happiness the more it slips from our grasp. Happiness is a by-product, never an objective. It's an unexpected windfall from a life lived well.

The examined life that doesn't produce practical results isn't worth living. Contemplating one's navel has its pleasures but it is far more satisfying to see results, a better navel. Eudaimonia _ Greeks call is Happiness - the word signifies something larger: a flourishing, meaningful life.

Now what the fuck am i doing

I absolutely hate this job. I have 2 friends at this place. no one can help me when i have roadblocks. i feel weak, uninspired, disempowered and as time goes by i have lost even my confidence in me to challenge the status quo. i have officially become one of those walking dead zombies, doing things as i'm told, i have lost that passion.

how do you reignite the passion at work

般若波羅蜜多心經

觀自在菩薩。行深般(波)若(野)波羅蜜多時。照見五蘊(允)皆空。度一切苦厄。舍利子。色不異空。空不異色。色即是空。空即是色。受想行識。亦復如是。舍利子。是諸法空相。不生不滅。不垢不淨。不增不減。是故空中無色。無受想行識。無眼耳鼻舌身意。無色聲香味觸法。無眼界。乃至無意識界。無無明。亦無無明盡。乃至無老死。亦無老死盡。無苦集滅道。無智亦無得。以無所得故。菩提薩(殺)埵(多)。依般(波)若(野)波羅蜜多故。心無罣(掛)礙(外)。無罣礙故。無有恐怖。遠離顛倒夢想。究竟涅(聶)槃(盤)。三世諸佛。依般(波)若(野)波羅蜜多故。得阿耨(柳)多羅三藐(秒)三菩提。故知般(波)若(野)波羅蜜多。是大神咒。是大明咒。是無上咒。是無等等咒。能除一切苦。真實不虛。故說般(波)若(野)波羅蜜多咒。即說咒曰。

揭諦揭諦　波羅揭諦　波羅僧揭諦　菩提薩婆訶(嫁爹嫁爹怕挪嫁爹怕挪生嫁爹播自梳巴霞)

心經大意

《般若波羅蜜多心經》，是以透過修習般若的智慧，使我們「度過煩惱，到達彼岸」的精要。

《心經》從日常可以接觸到的事物，以及自己身心，來練習思維觀照。不論是五蘊、十二處、十八界、四諦、十二因緣、六度法等，都是因緣假合的存在，遷流變動，卻又平等無差別。

能從聞思修慧中，融攝法法間的諸行無常、諸法無我、涅槃寂靜，而直證空義，破除我執與法執；從現實存在的現象上，去把握本性空，同時在畢竟空的實相中，去瞭解現象界的緣起法。如此的觀照、體證，就能幫助自己解脫生死間的束縛，也能幫助他人解除身心流轉的苦迫，「度一切苦厄」。在一切修行法門裡，經典中常常提到「以般若為導」的重要。若沒有般若的智慧作為引導，一切修行都很可能是盲目的。在大乘佛法的修行中，以《般若經》為最重要，而《般若經》中，又以《般若波羅蜜多心經》為核心。雖然《心經》的字數只有260 個字，其用語之簡潔，說理之深刻，以及流傳之廣泛，影響之深遠，並且完整地呈現重要的佛教核心概念，為中國佛教史所僅見。

https://www.hkbuddhist.org/zh/top_page.php?p=knowledge_detail&kid=13&cid=12&id=43

人這一生，其實就是一個不斷見天地、見眾生、見自我的過程。

在一個環境太久了，太熟悉了，容易變得僵化與麻木。

走出自己的方寸之地，豐富自己的見識，是我們必經的修行。

當你見過高山的巍峨，沙漠的廣闊，戈壁的浪漫，體會到天地的無垠，你就會變得謙卑。

當你見識過不同國家民族的風土人情，你會發現，這世上有無數種生活，人生也可以有無數種選擇。

你開始不再拘泥於眼前的雞毛蒜皮，學會將眼光放向遠處，懂得了活在自己的節奏里，不羨慕誰，不嫉妒誰。

那些見過的世面，拓開你內心的格局，讓你可以抵達足夠遠的地方，過有趣多樣的生活，接納性格不同的人。

生活有時很迷人，但有時的確也很討厭。

你若崇拜它萬種風情，它就會把你寵得熱氣騰騰，顛倒眾生。

有所熱愛，有所期待，再簡單的生活也能過的活色生香。

一顆熱騰騰的心，任時光怎麼摧殘，也永遠熠熠生輝。

人生還有無數美好等著跟你相遇，不要在最好的年紀活得最便宜。

你得豐富，去感受，去起舞，去讓自己變成珍貴的存在。

從今天起，把討好別人的時間，拿來豐富自己。

那些你看過的書、走過的路、見過的人、

給出的善良，最終都會回饋到自己身上。

今天的人都移居情感沙漠吧？

今年所有人都有精神病，但是苦自己知，太差的都不想比人知。因為呢個世界無人再咁坦蕩蕩。

that’s why social media is great for deceiving the world. You can still paint a nice picture of yourself but feel like hell at the same time, it’s too easy.

No one is ever readable anymore when all you do is to brand yourself rather than feel your truth.

Be kind to others, be kind to yourself, reveal yourself even if it’s not your best self so you can find the truth and try to understand and see the world more clearly.

In a world where you don’t have to look or try hard.

教訓若是不伴隨着痛楚，就沒有意義。

因為人類若是不犧牲些什麼，就無法有所收穫。

但是當忍過這份痛楚，並且戰勝它之後，人就將獲得不屈服於任何事情的堅強的心。

沒錯，如鋼鐵一般的心。

Be grateful.

I dont have anything to say this year about new year resolution for 2021. I'm thankful that I'm still intact, healthily breathing and able to be with everyone I love.

This year gave me a lot of clarity. I see more clearly now or know myself better. I have a warrior personality and I absolutely thrive under stress. There are also a lot of things I still can't let go of - the past, my fantasy about retaining the old comfy old lives and unnecessary thoughts emerge.

When will I ever be happy with all that I have?

It's time to really achieve that rather than telling everyone I'm grateful for all that I have and thinking something otherwise.

I guess that's my NY resolution.

When u stop create

For she is empty and fearful that life has ended right here right now. That feeling of loss of control constantly. The purpose of life unfulfilled, meaning of life not found, passion and motivation gone. What’s there left o create, compose and that juice thats supposed to be sucked from life. We ended up being zombies, a fast sail without direction, more onto mass production, fastest delivery and turnover.

Chop. chop. tick tick tok, time has gone. What have you done.

No time for art, just produce, things. Whatever thingssss it can be.

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