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Gaze on, and marvel at what could have been.

20 Famous Movie Scenes (Improved With Nudity)

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To badly paraphrase Douglas Adams: Anything invented before you are 35 is awesome, but anything that comes around after that is scary. It's the natural order of things.

There wasn't one general moral panic over the fork so much as a 600-year slow burn of derision. In the modern era, every country that the fork was introduced to was totally freaked out by it, before eventually accepting it.

For our younger readers, here is a bit of a history lesson:

Phones used to be plugged into the wall. These days you might know a few people who still have these antiques and call them "landlines."

4 Stupid Moral Panics Caused By Everyday Objects

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Set your time machine back just a few hundred years and you'd probably be surprised -- maybe horrified, if you're on the board of directors for Chick-Fil-A -- about just how many gay-married couples were running around in various places, remaining un-harassed by government agencies.

According to archaeologists, marijuana was first used as medicine in China as far back as around 4000 B.C. and was legal for most of its history, only being criminalized for the first time in 1378 by the Ottoman Emir Soudoun Scheikhouni. Despite the emir's efforts, marijuana remained largely legal outside of the Ottoman Empire and was only sporadically criminalized. So how did we end up with this whole situation where we're having a discussion about legalization? Because of the good old U.S. of A. Well, that and Mexico.

It all started with the Mexican revolution, which lasted from 1910 to 1920.

5 Modern Controversies That Have Been Around Forever

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5 Cover Songs That Deserve More Praise Than The Original

Cover songs are a contentious thing. Kind of like when the cartoons from your childhood get remade into terrible movies. The only difference being that, on occasion, people who complain about a song being turned into something terrible have a good point, whereas those cartoons have always been dumb, but we were too young and naive to realize it.

(And not very self-aware.)

Songs tend to age a little better than animated shows about action figures, though, so in a lot of cases, remaking them seems completely unnecessary. If you can't do it better, why do it at all? Well, sometimes those covers are better, for a whole host of reasons.

[cracked]

Is June 18th your birthday? Well then Happy Birthday, Badass! You share your special day with the greatest oil field firefighter who’s ever lived.

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No matter how cool, young or hip you are, eventually the world of mass media will leave your increasingly-saggy ass behind. In this episode of a test Tumblr post, aging CP tries his hand at something new and Orson Welles approves.

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In the real world, crimes are solved with a lot of tedious investigation by professional detectives sitting at a desk, filling out paperwork and poring through reams of witness reports. It doesn't make for compelling TV. That's how it goes down most of the time, anyway. But occasionally all of that painstaking legwork counts for nothing, and a serious crime can be solved by a series of coincidences so implausible that they'd be cut from the first draft of a CSI episode.

Insane Coincidences That Solved 'Unsolvable' Crimes

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While watching your favorite rerun, do you notice it feels a tad off - like its playing about 7 percent faster, to be exact? Very good, you've caught the TV Money Grubbing Overlords in the act.

6 Bizarre Ways Companies Subliminally Screw With Stuff On TV

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Helping people move is a less-damning task than fixing their computers.

6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You

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10 ‘Fallout 4’ Easter Eggs You Probably Missed - New Guy Weekly

Alex needs a dog. Does Alex have a dog? Does anybody know?

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The Census Is a Tool for Government Oppression!

One conservative website speculated that GPS coordinates of households collected by census workers would possibly prepare UN soldiers for a U.S. invasion.

So, we could all sit back and laugh at the paranoid types who thought the government was going to use the census to round us up and put us into camps.

Why It's Not So Crazy

The U.S. government totally once used census data to round people up and put them in camps.

6 Crackpot Conspiracy Theories (That Actually Happened)

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I've battled ant colonies big and advanced enough to have their own rudimentary currencies, and I've had fistfights with rats the size of rottweilers for dominion over the bathroom. And the whole time, I blamed the landlord -- because it's his or her goddamn fault.

So you try to get back at the landlord. Bad move.

5 Mistakes You'll Make The Next Time You Move

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A couple moves out of the playbook:

**To get the majority to ignore complaints by any disadvantaged group, you simply insist that disadvantaged group has the real power and that the powerful majority is thus the underdog. 

**By highlighting the silliest of complaints from a group, you inoculate the audience against any real complaints that might come along later, creating a knee-jerk dismissal -  there are lots of groups out there looking out for the welfare of animals, but I bet the only one you can name is PETA, because they're the ones doing stupid shit like insisting people call fish "sea kittens" and staging naked protests that convey no useful information whatsoever. This way, when anyone challenges actual horrific practices in big-money industries (like factory farming or pet stores selling animals from cruel puppy mills) you'll roll your eyes and say, "It's probably those PETA freaks, at it again!"

5 Ways Powerful People Trick You Into Hating Underdogs

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We have more trust in science than ever before. If at any time we come across a phenomenon we just can't explain, we can confidently turn to Neil deGrasse Tyson to tell us what's what, instead of cracking each other's heads open and feasting on the knowledge within. But there are still some places in the world that defy explanation, and while we're not saying these are proof that wizards exist and are screwing with us 24/7, we're still fascinated by ...

5 Creepy Real Places That Science Can't Explain

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On July 26, 2011, Maria de Jesus Arroyo, an 80-year-old great-grandmother, was rushed to White Memorial Hospital in Los Angeles, where doctors quickly declared her dead of cardiac arrest via the foolproof method of "How old? Yep, she's dead." Mrs. Arroyo was then popped into a Ziploc and wheeled off to the morgue while the doctors and nurses went back to watching House, feeling content with a job indifferently done.

5 Creepy Urban Legends That Happen to Be True (Part 8)

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We’ll make your manhood work again using magic. Also like magic: the way we use misdirection to get your mind off the shame.

If Erectile Dysfunction Ads Were Honest

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Attention: outer space makes creepy noises. What’s that? You ALREADY are bummed into the ground by inaudible tones? Oh well, hope for cataracts - then forbidden, soothing colors shall be yours. And the creepy outer spaces noises will still be there when you have the right gear/mental state.

5 Insane Things Hiding Just Outside Of Human Perception