Sometimes I lie

The time it takes you to read this you will have lost your chance.

[therealmeisthis]

It was the way you said "hello" when you opened your door to let me in. The moment you would kiss me on the lips. It was the way I watched your facial expressions when your eyes were closed while we were having sex! I only ever closed my eyes when you opened yours so it wasn't so weird. I liked watching your face and hearing you moan. But I wanted more than that! I wanted to see your face when you were sad, angry, surprised and happy. I wanted to hear your voice at different tones in a conversation about something you were passionate about! I wanted to hear you laugh at my jokes. I wanted more. I wanted you for all of your flaws and and imperfections. I wanted you to want me. I wanted your love so bad I forgot how to love myself! I gave you everything...Everything I had to give!

[therealmeisthis]

The more you ignore me the more I want you!

[therealmeisthis]

I am tired of chasing after you! Because as soon as I catch you I realize you only stopped because you wanted me for the wrong reasons, I want you to stop and turn around and want me for the right reasons!

[therealmeisthis]

I fell in love with you knowing very well that you would never fall in love with me.

[therealmeisthis]

I think I keep sleeping with you in hopes that one day you will want me for more than my body...But I think it's true to say that, that day will never come!

[therealmeisthis]

I want you more than anything on this entire planet, I want you to want me. I won't and I can't wait forever so please either take me or let me go!

[therealmeisthis]

Been really lacking on blogging, mostly because I am sick of writing about all the sad shit going on in my life!! The happy parts seem a little less present right now. I am in-love with this man who would never love me because I am just a girl. It hurts so much sometimes wanting someone who doesn’t want you back! I found out things about him most people would find crazy and judge him for but it has only made my love for him grow and I want him even more than before which is kinda insane but maybe that is because I am a little insane...I know I am insane, I wonder if he found out about my dark past if he would love me..Andrew if you ever somehow which is unlikely come upon my blogs and see how much I loved and wanted you just know even if you think it is too late I will always choose you, I would choose you over anyone.

[therealmeisthis]

Me:Does it ever stop hurting?

Life:What?

Me:Being inlove with him, even though he doesn't love me back.

Life:...

Me:Wasn't expecting silence.

Life:

[therealmeisthis]

I’m making some pretty bad decisions in my life right now! I’m sleeping with random men, going back to abusive ones, filling this void inside of me throwing myself at anyone giving me attention! Been receiving photos from one of my friends boyfriends! I’m not a good person right now! My addiction to sex is out of control I’ve lied to my parents multiple times when they ask where I’m going! I need to change but don’t want to! It’s all fire in my mind! It’s out of control!

[therealmeisthis]

Ditched the fireman he was a FUCK BOY, I am culently working my way through four guys right now! One is just gonna be a hookup maybe more I’ll see, one of them I am seeing tonight with my friend! so we shall see what happens but most likely just a hookup! one of them I want more from so I am gonna try to pursue him! and the fourth one well its Andrew he keeps messaging me I am not sure what to do I still have some sort of feelings towards him but I shouldn't go there!

[therealmeisthis]

You get what you put out in this world! I guess I put out, so guys fuck and chuck me, my fault!

[therealmeisthis]

I'm not saying I'm a whore! But I have date on Friday and he's absolutely gorgeous! He mines jade for a living! Yes I know I just started sleeping with a fireman but I had to jump on this guy haha, oh gosh I'm a slut anyhow he's picking me up and taking me out for dinner and drinks and then we're gonna go back to my place and get it on! Super excited! Okay wish me luck!!

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

[therealmeisthis]

I know it's too early to say I'm in love. But have you ever just met someone that you can't stop thinking about and it's driving you insane how perfect they are! You make me feel beautiful and I'm falling hard for you, you silly boy!

[therealmeisthis]

went out on a date with this firefighter he was super nice, was very charming, we ended up coming back to my house and getting it on, we cuddled and has sex three times, it was probably the best sex I’ve ever had! looking forward to seeing him again!

[therealmeisthis]

LOOKING at my archive like, fuck this bitch is annoying!

[therealmeisthis]

Let me tell you a story. There was this girl, and she went to meet this boy, she thought it was time to let herself love. He was everything she ever wanted, he was sweet, he was kind, he was romantic and spontaneous, and charming none the less. He said all the right things, and made all the right moves, so she was hooked...She gave herself to him, and he took it, who wouldn’t she was beautiful but oh was she blind, so she kept giving herself to him, and he kept on taking and taking, until there was nothing left. Until she was broken, fragile, used, no longer a light in her eyes, no longer love in her soul. She cried, she hurt herself as she slowly died. All this cause she was blind, all this cause he lied.