TheSarahPicard

Surf a tide of weirdness

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time in pdx, I was a giddy little freak living the high life in my first snow and jumping around with my freaky little friends and drinking mass quantities of hot toddies and acting like a proper loon, and now I'm in good ol' South Bay where the winter rain is basically some ornery weather god sneezing on you and everyone is cranky because we are all slightly damp with frizzy weird hair. 🙃🙃🙃

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time, I moved away from Pdx to Campbell California. And now my life consists of sunscreen and sweating and drinking coffee all by myself because I left all my favorite people in Portland and now I'm a little freak all alone amongst bros and I chill with my parents and do too many buzzfeed quizzes because I live in the suburbs and I'm trying to avoid being introspective because I'm all emotional and I can't blame it on rosé. To all the weirdos I left behind: already miss you loads and when I visit shit will get real and I expect you all to get loose and freaky with me. #vscocam #portland #missyoualready #alltheemotions (at Campbell, California)

[thesarahpicard]

Riding In Cars With Commoners: My Life As An Unemployed Barista. New memoir coming out soon folks. @boltbusofficial #vscocam #byeportland #laterforever

[thesarahpicard]

Shameless repost from @alicerules because she's a boss lady and hurts me so good. And also because I'm super into my fave summer dress and how it matches my new baby sage and everyone needs to know about it. ✨❤️🤗❤️✨ (at Wonderland Tattoos LLC)

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time in the summer of 2013, I decided to not work in coffee anymore. Then @iprkelly interrupted my morning(aka 1pm for all your normal people) spro to badger me into working at the good ol Stumptown Ace. It was not a hard sell. I got to work in an amazing space, with rad people, and yummy drinks. I eventually migrated to the gritty dirty downtown café, and shit got silly and weird and fucking awesome. As some of you know, my last day at Chumptown was this past Sunday. It was bittersweet, not only because I'm leaving behind over 3 years of personal growth with this company, but because it's the beginning of an even bigger move. I've been trying to avoid all my stupid emotions about moving back to my hometown of Campbell Ca(which is NOT San Jose thank you very much), but this stupid adorable lil pup with its sad little dumb face is conveying all the feels I got for this move, goddamnit. ON THAT NOTE, please come chill with me and drink drinks and eat the foods and get a tan on the rooftop or whatever at Century on Sandy Blvd. August 3rd. All day, all night. Bring your friends. Bring your fam. Please for the love of all the gods bring your dogs if they'll let you. I want to see all your pretty faces before I skip town on the 19th. #loveyou #kisses #missyoualready #nomore16ozlattes #hellafeels #vsco #portland #pdx @stumptowncoffee #stumptowncoffee #chumptowncoffee (at Portland, Oregon)

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time, I was packing up all my cool shit, and weird feelings about moving happened, so I was like NOPE and decided to crack open a bottle of rosé and watch my favorite skate film. Needless to say, zero packing has been accomplished since, and half of my bedding is now on my living room floor in a little nest, cocooning my poor emotion-filled carcass. #packingsucks #roséiscool #icecreamisheretoo #avisualsound #carlshipman #whatsup1994 (at Portland, Oregon)

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time @jasonoverby demonstrated the proper mechanics of drinking a cold shot. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 (at Stumptown Coffee Roasters)

[thesarahpicard]

Same. Homework is a GD pain in the tushy. Someone bring me coffee and a burrito. I'll share my rosé. 📷:Shea 👻:Dylan. #portland #oregon #napislife

[thesarahpicard]

What is this life and how can I live it please k thanks. #sleepylittlemonster #burgerinhand #napislife @vsco

[thesarahpicard]

When acoustics is life. #tbt #vsco #stumptowncoffee #chumptowncoffee #portland #pdx #ore #acouticsislife #ripcouches (at Stumptown Coffee Roasters)

[thesarahpicard]

When napping is life. #sleepylittlemonster #tbt #vsco #portland #pdx #stumptowncoffee #chumptowncoffee (at Stumptown Coffee Roasters)

[thesarahpicard]

Geoffrey John Picard aka Saint Geoffrey aka Dado. The coolest hippie around, the man who got me into photography because I was bored out of my GD mind at all of the soccer games I was dragged to(thanks siblings for being active and whatever). The man who patched up my booboos, even though I was being a sissy about it. The man who taught me that it's ok to just sit and take it all in. The man who wiggles his toes when he is happy, just like me. May all your birthday wishes come true, love you bunches. Side note for @mamapicard: let the man's cobra dreams come true!! And show him this photo, because I know he doesn't have Instagram. 😘 📷: the birthday boy himself. The man takes a mean selfie. (at Stevens Creek Reservoir)

[thesarahpicard]

Same, kid. Just spent 3 hours watching the bachelor, and then 2 trying to catch up on all the f*ing social media and news that I uninstalled from my phone so no one could ruin the BORING ENDING of the show. #teamjojo #jokesonyou #nextbachelorette ✌🏻️ (at Portland, Oregon)

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time, I started getting Saturday's off of work, and was stoked. Then I realized how many GD out of town mouth-breathers there are clogging up all my coffee shops on Saturdays. But it's cool, because now I have the perfect excuse to get a pastry from Little T with my smuggled Chumptown coffee and pretend to do some work without worrying about being in some loser's Instagram post that I'm obviously too good for. #sorrynotsorry #stumptowncoffee #chumptowncoffee #allthepastries #stupidmouthbreathers #vsco #vscocam #pdx #portland #ore #laterlosers (at Little T Baker Union Way)

[thesarahpicard]

I don't know what you losers are doing tonight, but this bitch is sitting pretty at the good ol' dig, eating a massive bowl of mac n cheese, and drinking whiskey sours all night, listening to some killer jams that'll make you wish you were cool enough to have your own girl group or whatever. #beehiveswerecoolonce (at Dig A Pony)

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time, Oregon told me I make too much money for food stamps, so I went for free Thai food and ate my feelings, then power-cleaned my kitchen while I was still fueled by anger, and now I'm ignoring life and adulty things by playing Mario Kart because you can throw bananas at people and be called a winner. ✨🏆✨

[thesarahpicard]

So this one time, I decided, instead of my morning ritual of cartoons and a mini dance party(exercise), I would be an adult and get some coffee and read before work. It was going swimmingly, until I took one step out the door to walk in the wonderful chilly weather with overcast skies(that makes my deathly pale skin look almost normal) and stumbled over my big feet and spilled coffee all over my grown up shirt(which happens to have a moth hole I don't want to talk about it ☹️). For those of you who know me, this is normal. Chalk it up to youthful clumsiness(while I still can). Unfortunately, the group of children in front of me snickered, and the very attractive male sipping coffee on the benches outside gave me a look that was not at all flirty. Guess this means I'm not bringing home a future ex-boyfriend to my parents this Christmas. #spinstersarah #sorryparents #notadulty #futureexboyfriend #vsco #vscocam #portland #pdx #ore (at Heart Coffee Westside)