i'm back in black

SHANE EVANS - 17 - THAT DUDE Like it says up there, the name's Shane and that's about it. Intros are for people who don't want to ask. If you think I give a fuck, don't. I wasn't born with any of those. #nottheone

[theshanevans]

I’ve been all over the place but I should be back at it tomorrow!

[theshanevans]

ryanhuds:

Is there any other way to spend the last few days of summer?

Finally someone with some sense. I don’t think it’s that bad of a plan. Go out with a bang and all that. 

[theshanevans]

TEXT 📲 SHANE 🐶

MARLEY: to be fair, no matter what ending you get, all of the dads end up in your yard for Amanda's party anyway, right?

MARLEY: Please don't date any real dads to test that theory.

SHANE: Way too literal, Marls.

SHANE: I don't even know any good looking dads so we're good.

[theshanevans]

skysplitsfabray:

You know I’d never judge you, but eating twenty tacos is a path no one should go down, especially if you don’t plan on doing anything else for the entire week. I’ll be nice and not mention school, but you only have a few days left until reality hits. Enjoy it while you can.

I like to go for the path less traveled. I’m deep like that. You can do a lot in a few days, don’t underestimate.

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: i love you too, my dude

ELIAS:

SHANE: YOU BETTER

SHANE: Wow there go the caps again

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: gay

SHANE: it came out of my gay closet my bad

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: heart = broken

SHANE: I still love you ;)

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: lies

ELIAS: why u always lyin

SHANE: you wish

SHANE: I'm nobody's bitch

[theshanevans]

TEXT 📲 SHANE 🐶

MARLEY: UGH SHANE.

MARLEY: I can neither confirm nor deny that.

SHANE: UGH MARLEY

SHANE: It's true. I'd get all the dads in my yard

[theshanevans]

TEXT 📲 SHANE 🐶

MARLEY: YOU KNOW WHAT WE /COULD/ DO INSTEAD? LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE, SHANE!

MARLEY: Seriously though, let's just go see wonder woman again. Or play Dream Daddy. You loved that.

SHANE: THEN DON'T ASK IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW

SHANE: Fine. But only because I make a hot dad.

[theshanevans]

TEXT 📲 SHANE 🐶

MARLEY: no! we are NOT doing that!!

SHANE: SEE

SHANE: I'm a psychic I knew you would say that

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: cant believe this. first u ruin my chance to impress u w/my joke skills then my chance to come with an example

ELIAS: this is why ur a little bitch too

SHANE: but i'm not your bitch ha

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: thats Me™

ELIAS: u could have gotten worse things omg

SHANE: I was gonna ask for an example but i'm good thanks

[theshanevans]

text | shalias

ELIAS: sounds like u two have a lot in common then

SHANE: what a savage

SHANE: you asked and I answered and this is what I get

[theshanevans]

TEXT 📲 SHANE 🐶

MARLEY: ughhh. come on. tell me.

SHANE: teepee the principal's house

[theshanevans]

text | open

ELIAS: why is six afraid of seven

SHANE: Because six is a little bitch

[theshanevans]

berryemilia:

Abs of steel. Yeah, I don’t believe you. At all. How many have you been in?

About my abs? Because I can whip them out if you want some proof.