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@thesimplemedium-blog
This is such a poignant, powerful and honest TED talk about grief that so many of us can relate to. Nora McInery does a beautiful job describing how we don’t necessarily ‘move on’ from grief but we can move forward. She talks about how the life one can create after loss does not have to be a competing entity with the past, but it is all “strands to the same thread”.
Letting go is an essential part of the healing process, especially when we have lost a loved one. It’s ok to let go of your grief. Some people feel that when they have lost a loved one they must feel grief forever. Like it’s their punishment for being here while their loved one has crossed over. As if it is an open wound that doesn’t deserve to heal. That they no longer deserve happiness. And if they do happen to feel a twinge of joy, it would dishonor their loved one in heaven.
But the reality is, your loved ones on the other side don’t want you to continuously wear that badge of grief. They want you to let go of that grey cloud over you. They want to lift you out of the depths of grief and help you live your best life. They want you to smile, laugh and feel peace.
You were once whole and happy and alive when they were here. You should still be whole and happy and alive because they are STILL here. They will never leave you. So let go of your grief. Know that you deserve to. Heal your heart and feel joy again.
We all have expectations about how things will turn out. When life doesn’t go to plan, it can be hard to reconcile the disappointment of our new reality.
This blog reminds us to be gentle on ourselves when it comes to the expectations we design for our lives, the loss we feel when life pulls the rug out from under us and coping with the grief and the new life we find ourselves living. I thought it was good enough to share.
Happiness can be hard. Don’t get stuck in the tornado of unhappiness. Reach through it and know that you deserve to be happy.
The Importance of Forgiveness
I think that there is a misconception about what forgiveness is. Many believe that by forgiving someone who has hurt you, it is saying that their action was ok, that they are no longer held accountable for that pain. But that is not forgiveness at all. Forgiveness is telling that person that the pain they caused no longer has power over you; that pain will no longer control your present and future. Forgiveness IS letting go. And it is life changing.
Below is a beautiful article on how to forgive and let go when you have lost someone close to you. Our society has expectations about grief. It’s like you are given so many days to grieve and then you are expected to move on ~ which seems to most such an impossible task. You are expected to forgive God for taking your loved one, forgive the choices your loved one made, forgive the outside forces who took your loved one from you. But if you don’t forgive, you will resent. And that resentment will turn into anger and bitterness. You don’t want to live your life that way. Your loved one doesn’t want you to live your life that way. That is why it is so important to forgive and let go. I hope this article will help you do that...
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-move-on-from-the-past-what-it-really-means-to-let-go/
Don’t Beat Yourself Up, Grief Is A Long Process
When you lose someone you love, whether it was yesterday or 20 years ago, it takes a piece of you. And in many ways you are never the same. But I try to tell my clients that just because you may never be the same doesn’t mean you have to be worse off. Your loved one would never want that for you. But grief is a long process. It takes a long time to figure out who you will be now that that person is no longer physically here. And that’s ok. Below is a nice article that shares one woman’s grief journey and includes helpful tips in case you are stuck in a dark place in which grief often envelops us.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jinna-yang/10-things-i-learned-while_b_5923558.html
Stages of Grief
This image is so true. Do not compare your grief experience to others’. Do not think you have to match certain grief expectations or timelines. Everyone goes through grief differently, it is as unique as your fingerprint. Some are screamers, some are criers, some stay silent. Your journey is your journey. Be present in it, but don’t let it consume you. You will get through it. One day at a time.
Happy Thanksgiving
Even in the darkest times, there is always something to be thankful for. I hope on this Thanksgiving day, and every day, you can appreciate the blessings around you. Below I included a link to an article that I found very inspiring. I hope it is helpful to those who have experienced great loss but still want to find grace and gratitude.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/22/us/sutherland-springs-vegas-shooting-hurricanes.html
A Little Advice...
Over the last few months I have been asked by a few clients for advice about how they could manage their own sensitivities to spirit energy. At first, I didn’t think that I had any business giving people advice. After all, I still very much feel like a rookie. But then I realized that I have been on this journey for over 20 years, and I remember how lonely it was and how stressful it was. I had no one to talk to about this. I had no one to ask for advice. And so I struggled alone. So I asked myself what advice I would have liked during my journey… and I realized I had many answers to those questions today. So, I made a short list of a few pointers that I would give to anyone who is in this crazy boat with me. I hope it helps. :)
1. Listen and trust your spirit guides. Those voices you hear in your head that you know are not yours, those crazy dreams that end up coming true, those are your spirit guides. Talk to them. Get to know them. Ask them their name. And trust their message. Understand that their messages need to be heard and validated, and they chose you as a messenger. When you quiet your mind, you will be able to tell the difference between your voice and theirs. With practice, you’ll be able to deliver their messages without anxiety and stress. Trust me, it will get easier.
2. Have the courage to deliver your messages. Usually, your spirit guide will start off small and gradually increase your messages. And your guides will often give you messages for people you already know. They usually will not expect you to do cold reads like telling your butcher about his late grandmother. Be brave, and know you have a special ability that needs to be shared... even though some stupid people might think you’re nuts.
3. DO NOT OVERANALYZE YOUR MESSAGES!!!! The minute you second-guess your messages from your guide or spirits visiting you, or let your consciousness analyze them, you WILL SCREW IT UP!!! Don’t worry about being wrong! Just deliver it, and let the recipient figure it out. Even if they don’t understand it at that moment, they will.
4. Use visualization to help control your ability. I live a very normal life. I work full time, I’m a mom, and a wife and a sister and friend. I have things to do and people to see. I cannot spend all day talking to the voices in my head. The anxiety of having all these voices in my head drove me crazy. So I learned how to turn it on and off with meditation and visualization. Now don’t get me wrong... when people said the word “meditation” to me, I rolled my eyes too. How can someone who has voices in their head 24-7 try to quiet their mind and meditate???? But that is when I learned that meditation did not completely mean silencing the brain. I use meditation to visualize turning on my ability and turning it off. Start with picturing an awesome quiet space while deep breathing and then visualize some type of on/off switch. I also use rosary beads to say a mantra that opens up the part of my head that is ready to receive spirits. Once that part of my brain is open, I welcome all spirits who want to say hello to come through. But once that part of my brain is shut off, they cannot not bug me. It is very important to understand that you are in control of receiving messages - not the other way around. Now, this doesn’t always work, but it controls much of my anxiety and keeps the voices in my head quieter so I can try to live a normal life.
5. Finally, I strongly recommend you read about your ability. Study it. Choose books by good psychic mediums who have great advice. I love John Edward, Lisa Williams and John Holland. Stay away from the quacks - I won’t mention names. Let your guide help you pick out a book that is right for you.
Well, that’s all I got for now. :) Don’t ever be ashamed of your ability. I was for way too long. Embrace it, use it, and help others with it. That is why we were chosen.
Counting on Angels
I love this quote. It affirms that our angels are prepared to help us with anything and are always there to lean on. If you are struggling with what life has given you, talk to your angels and they will show you signs to guide you along. Trust the little voice within you, and you will do just fine.
#angels #signs from above #you are not alone #thesimplemedium
Ugh!
I sincerely apologize to anyone who tried to request a reading through the form I have posted on my “Readings” page. It appears that there is a glitch in the form and I have not be receiving any requests FOR MONTHS!!! We have been trying to fix it, but can’t seem to pinpoint the issue. Please feel free to email any requests for appointments or questions directly to my email... [email protected]
:)
The Miracle of Gratitude
On your darkest day, reach deep down inside to find something to be grateful for (no matter how small), and it will provide the light you need to heal your heart.
Surviving Grief
You know 90% of the readings I do are lighthearted and fun. Sure there are tears shed, but they accompany laughter and love. But the other 10% of people I meet are completely enveloped in their grief. Whether their loved one died yesterday or 10 years ago, from a sudden death or a long illness, they are still overwhelmed by their grief. My heart aches for them. I want to remove their pain, their unbearable anguish. But I can’t. I can just pray for them. I pray that God sends angels to them to help them end their grief, help them to rise out of the darkness they are in.
I have to admit that I have never lost a child or a parent - but I have lost dear people in my life. And through that loss and by meeting people who have lost a child or a spouse or a parent, I have learned how debilitating that grief is. How it sucks you in, to the point where you want to die too. Grief at that level kills your heart and leaves nothing but a black bottomless hole. It leaves you feeling as though you will never be the same again.
And the truth is, you will never be the same again. But you can’t let grief win. Grief is like a cancer. It will eat away at you until you are nothing but a shell. Your loved one in heaven does not want their passing to leave you that way. So my guides have helped me develop a few ways to help you ease out of the darkness grief has created in your soul and allow you to take back your heart again. Sure, it will have a few scars on it, but it will be yours. Beating and able to love.
First, be present with your grief. Own it. Don’t suppress it. Feel it. Cry. Throw things. Be angry. Stay in bed. Be honest with it. It is ok to allow yourself to feel the magnitude of the loss you have suffered.
Second, forget the mindframe that “moving on” means forgetting about your loved one. I know the phrase “moving on” is so cliche and can seem insensitive. But you need to remember that your loved one in heaven wants you to be happy - to live a fulfilling life. The term “moving on” gives you permission to heal your broken heart and smile again. “Moving on” doesn’t mean forgetting your loved one, it means to live on for your loved one and celebrate their memory.
Third, set a timeline for yourself. It’s ok to sob uncontrollably. To not shower for a few days. But you can’t stay that way forever. So set a time frame for yourself. Set baby steps of how you will reclaim your life from grief. Every day try to create a small goal to diminish the darkness and invite light in. “Tomorrow, I am going to get out of bed and shower.” “Tuesday I’ll go to the grocery store.” “Tomorrow I am only going to think about my regrets for 5 minutes, and then I am going to think about the great things I did for him.” “By Friday I will start focusing on our great memories, not how she passed.” By creating baby steps for yourself, you will eventually manage the grief. The sadness will always be there, but you can begin to feel happy again.
Finally, I know grief can seem to be overwhelming and impossible to escape from. If you find that you have tried everything, but grief continues to control your daily life, there is help out there. Please google “Grief Support Groups” and you will find some in your area. There is no shame in asking for help. You owe it to yourself to feel well.
Peace and love.
Ailish
I Have A Question For You...
I, like many others, had a heavy heart yesterday with the “peaceful” transition of power for our country. I didn’t want to turn on the tv or check Instagram or Twitter to see what was going on. I just wanted to pretend like yesterday was just like any other day. But deep down, I knew it wasn’t an ordinary day and my curiosity got the best of me. So I turned on the tv. And I’m glad I did because I was able to catch the last few minutes of the Inaugural Luncheon at Capitol Hill. It was when the Capitol’s House Chaplain was giving the closing prayer. In his prayer he said something that resonated with me. He prayed, that while in office, our new president “might become his best self.” Yes! I said out loud. Please become your best self!!!!
And that had me thinking... Are we all living our lives as our best self? Among all the protesters and demonstrators and supporters, are we all living as our best self? Is that man dressed in black throwing stones at a Starbucks in protest of our new president being the best version of himself? Is that woman carrying a sign walking across The Mall living as her best self? And politics aside, are you living your day to day life as your best self? Can your children with their beautiful innocent eyes look up to you and say proudly, “That’s my Dad!” or “That’s my Mom!”
If we can all just live our lives as our best self, this country, this world, would be the world we would be proud to raise our children in - no matter who our president is. It would be the peaceful place that we would be proud to call home.
When Part Of You Dies With Them
This is one of the most profound images I have ever seen. If you have lost a child you probably feel as if a part of you has died along with them. Your heart will never be the same. Your laugh will never be the same. The way you see the world will never be the same. My heart aches for the mother in this sculpture. My heart aches for any parent who has lost a child. But I think that the purpose of this sculpture was not to break our hearts, but to comfort us. To let us know that our loved ones who have gone to heaven, no matter how small, are always with us. Loving us. Comforting us. Picking us up off the ground when we feel as if we can not take another step. And you know what, your heart will never be the same. Your laughter will never be the same. Your view of the world will never be the same. But your angel in heaven wants you to know that your heart, laughter and views are not forever broken. They will be different, but not broken. And different is ok. Let them heal. Let them change. Let them be different. Let them enjoy the life that you have been given here to live. Your child in heaven does not want you to grieve forever. Your child wants you to try and enjoy life again. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and live life. Not just “exist”, live. Live for them.
Choosing To Be Brave
I used to live my life being afraid. It was like a million pound weight on my chest. I wasn’t afraid of bogey men or monsters under the bed or even ghosts. I was afraid of my own potential. I was petrified that if I released the truth of who I really was it could be disastrous. I mean it isn’t very often you meet someone who talks to dead people. It’s weird, right? But I talk to dead people, and I knew that I was supposed to USE this amazing gift - not hide it. But I was paralyzed by the consequences. I didn’t think I was strong enough to be thought of as different.
Then I read an amazing book by Brene Brown titled Daring Greatly. It changed my life. This book was about understanding that being vulnerable and afraid is not a weakness. Everyone is vulnerable and afraid. And you can basically do two things with vulnerability and fear. You can allow them to create shame within you and let slowly suffocate you and keep you stagnant - or - you can allow them to create power and strength within you, and use them to help you build the life you have always dreamed of.
As I read on, I came face to face with my fears and the shame that I allowed to develop inside me. I realized it wasn’t just being judged that had me afraid, I was terrified of failing. What if I decided to tell everyone that I’m a medium and then I’m horrible at it??? What would everyone think? What would they be saying behind my back?? But I trusted my gut (and my guides) to understand that that wouldn’t be true. I knew I had a gift. I knew I was meant to do this. I learned by reading this book that failing isn’t a flaw. Failing isn’t a scarlet letter. Failure shows that you were brave enough to TRY! Failure makes you stronger, smarter and more resilient.
This book taught me about being brave. Be brave enough to try. Be brave enough to fail. Be brave enough to release the shame. Be brave enough to dare greatly. So that’s what I decided to do.
I never would have imagined that a few years later I would be in this place right now... meeting with hundreds of people and connecting them with loved ones on the other side. Yes, I have had some failures. But I was confident enough to be honest with my vulnerability and smart enough to know that failure does not define me or create my future. And I was able to pick myself up and dust myself off and get back on the horse. I am so glad I was strong enough to shed the fear of being judged and of failing to live my dream. I am so glad that I was brave enough to dare greatly. I hope you will one day too.