These days, I don't even know what I like. Life just sucks. I'm addicted to my phone, to content, not the 'quirky' type, or the type that we all usually know. I'm addicted, like how someone is addicted to drugs, or how someone can't quit smoking, or can't quit drinking alcohol. I tried, and I'm still trying, but it's really difficult. I get withdrawal, sometimes, I feel like my whole body shakes when I want to just scroll but I have to stop myself and try to do something else.
Why does my addiction matter to knowing what I like? Because being bombarded with content stops me from doing introspective checks on myself. I see someone doing this job, and thought, "that must be fun, I want to do that too" but see someone else 3 seconds later and thought the same thing for a different kind of job.
So many content creators are like "I'm now a design manager at 22, and I also can't believe it. This is my story" or "I quit my job at 25 and become a full time content creator, and here's my journey" or just basically traveling all around the world. OR worse, telling people how to be 'better' and 'more productive' then sell you a coaching smth or an app that will somehow make your life magically healed.
And don't get me wrong, it's nice, to see people's journeys and different jobs etc. Because people can find out the obscure thing that they might actually be interested in. But also, I don't think we are supposed to see the entirety of humanity's essence in like 10 secs everytime we open our phone. I don't think our brain is supposed to take in that much information. I also believe that while there are some people that is genuine, there are more content creators that are preying on our attention, and our jealousy, or our want to be better, or just the state of our life. We already know that privileges do exist and opportunities are not the same for everyone but if you see someone 'claiming' to have the same experience as you, that's just fucked up. Most of the time, THEY ARE LYING. But even after knowing that social media is actually just one giant advertisement and that our phone are like a shopping brochure that we carry in our pockets all day, every day and everywhere, it doesn't change the fact that it affects me, it affects us all.
It's hard to quit phone/content addiction because it's not like alcohol or drugs that it is inherently bad in and of itself. I can't just quit it cold turkey because my emails live on the internet, it's a way to connect to people. But I'm trying, and this is a way of me saying to the world that I am trying. Not just trying but rebelling, rebelling on how modern capitalist feed on our attention, rebelling on how these big corporations keeps on taking advantage of us by making these phones/social media content addictive, and then using AI to replace millions and billions of jobs, rebelling on how these billionaires just won't stop taking more from us.
I sincerely hope that I enjoy things again soon, and find what I want to do with my life. Find joy in everyday, and most especially, find joy in what I do. Good bye, and happy rebelling.
