This past Saturday, i was sitting on the couch. Super high... watching music videos. I happened to be watching Solangeās video for Almeda i believe and something about it put me in a wild trance.
I was so stuck in a trance that i started seeing terrible shit in my head and if you watch how solanges vids are shot, itās almost like a ritual or spell is being put on you. The feeling got so strong that i had to get away from the tv because i felt like if i sat there any longer, i might literally die. Only other time i felt that strong of a feeling while alive (that i distinctly recall) was during an acid trip. Maybe the bud triggered something, idk.
I donāt believe in retrogrades and shit, but something switched in that very moment ... like on some earth switching timelines or something. I could feel drastic changes about to happen.
My gf and i been having weird vibes , and that day we went to EverdayPpl which is a party/event company my homegirl works for. We werenāt there for 30 mins , and she somehow got a stain on her white shirt... which led to a series of events that ultimately ruined my Saturday.
The following day, nipsey hussle is killed and anyone who closely knows me .. knows nipsey pushed me to start believeing in myself during a different point in my life. Kanye always inspired me to think for myself, and not be scared to do shit no one else was doing (i was in 7th grade lol) . Nipsey came at a different point in my life, i was already around 19 or 20 when he started talking to me through music. First big artist rahiem and I opened up for was Nipsey Hussle, at this venue in Springfield, VA. I remember seeing that, and knowing he was one of the ppl that let me know i was on the right path. This person who spoke so strongly to me about chasing that indescribable dream. Applying that fire and passion i had into a place that inspired the immediate community around me. Always Reminding me shit would get tough and i would get tired, he was the soundtrack for those FIRST big moments in my life. Before heading to the blockley, i listened to Nip ( if you know, you know) .
Anyways, this whole week been somber but also a wake up call for my continued purpose.
Iām rambling... but this is just me tryna figure out if itās always going to be Love vs Purpose.
Excuse me for how poorly written this is. My mind is racing and twitter is no longer appropriate , and the older you get.. the more you realize friends have their own issues, why bog them down with scattered thoughts.
Anyways, i think the timeline shifted on Saturday. The feeling i had watching that visual led into a day of me having to question my relationship and observe the death of the person who spoke to my flame when it was still tiny.
Iāll always believe God speaks in strange ways, but Iām steady listening . Figuring it out.
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