too rude for the saccharine, too wimpy for the toxic

a selfship imagines blog for those of us who aren't into all that gushy stuff

[thesourselfshipper]

hi im the sour selfshipper

this blog is gonna be used for selfship imagines! but a bit of a twist. the selfship imagines here might be a little less sweet than what you're used to! perhaps maybe even a little mean spirited at times??

what to expect

bickering like an old married couple

a healthy dose of tough love

playful mocking

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BelligerentSexualTension

various other romcommy and looney toons shenanigans

maybe nsfw stuff? maybe?

all toward you or your f/o

some people might be wondering? are you serious? and yes, i am. people have often compared the way i talk about my f/os to the relationship between mac and dennis, or the relationship between bugs bunny and cecil turtle. i don't really vibe at all with the sweet cuteness of selfshipping culture, nor do i enjoy the over the top toxicity and constant power dynamics of darker selfshipping. i'm a 30-something who's purely interested in having a romantic partner who is also a dear friend that i can dunk on, and who can dunk on me. i also enjoy approaching my f/os from their canon dynamics, which are less than ideal for romance. but it's worth noting, those are the personalities i fell in love with. <3

i don't really care who interacts with me or not, but if you don't like what i'm putting down, you can block me. i'm in my 30s, so i'm not gonna talk to kids but they can reblog my stuff as long as its sfw. i don't like proship stuff, but you can interact so long as you don't say some out of pocket shit that makes me block you. if we have the same f/os and you don't like sharing (crazy unlikely) i'll block you (with tears in my eyes because i love sharing) (no one shares with me i'm so sad). i'm not revealing who i selfship with or any other information at the moment because i'd like this blog to remain somewhat anonymous and that's very identifying.

if you're into what i'm posting, feel free to follow. this is a sideblog so i might not follow back, but i do wanna get this sort of vibe i got into the selfship community. it'd make it a lot more fun for a spinster like me.

[thesourselfshipper]

Imagine your f/o referring to you by your honorific in a sarcastic and condescending tone.

[thesourselfshipper]

Imagine your f/o does something cute, and you mutter something about them "moefarming." They slump their shoulders a bit, put their hand on their forehead and ask "Can you please use actual words for once?"

[not-so-cutesy-selfship]

F/O and S/I have similar hobbies, but F/O sees it almost like competing and insists they're better. S/I beat a hard part of a game? Pshh, F/O could've done that blindfolded. S/I finished following a complex felt/knit/crochet pattern? F/O could've finished several by the time S/I finished the one. S/I completed some small development project? That's cute, F/O would've had it done before the hour's up!

[not-so-cutesy-selfship]

F/O and S/I kiss by accident somehow! And F/O's immediate reaction is to wipe their lips while loudly proclaiming "ew"

[not-so-cutesy-selfship]

In arguments, F/O always repeats whatever you're saying in a mocking tone rather than actually making a point.

[not-so-cutesy-selfship]

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver—taping F/O's mouth shut because you've been desperate for a moment of peace.

[thesourselfshipper]

i don't know who most of y'all selfship with but i know i caught at least one person who selfships with the exact same genre of character i do so this blog is already hitting the target audience hehehe

[thesourselfshipper]

imagine being in a betty and veronica style love triangle with your f/o and their canon/fanon love interest. you and the love interest having a friendly rivalry over the heart of your f/o, each having your own crazy schemes, successes and failures. it even brings the two of you closer together as you gossip about what a dweeb your f/o is.

[thesourselfshipper]

imagine your f/o poking fun at you for having a crush on them until you say something beautiful and true that takes them aback and they cover their mouth blushing furiously

[thesourselfshipper]

Imagine you and your f/o are on vacation. Your f/o is afraid of heights, but suggests getting a better view from a tower/lighthouse/etc. Frequently, as you two climb up the tower, they start freaking out about how they're going to fall, the building's structural integrity, how high you both are. You, not particularly interested in the view, suggest heading back down, but your f/o refuses. They're determined to get up to the top. So as you both climb, they proceed to freak out, cling to you, ask you to hold their hand, etc. And at every chance, you tease them, reminding them this was entirely their idea.