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"Figuring out myself and why I picked the relationships I did. I was holding out my heart to me. Because I’d realized I was the only person who could give me a happily-ever-after."

- Audrey, It only happens in the movies, Holly Bourne

The way time flies, like a happy bird with flaunty wings, it can see everything from that height and it's unbothered by what it sees. Nothing disturbs its heart, the rhythm at which it beats.

Time took apathy as its best friend, and decided to never stop.

The street food shop you stood by, waiting for the bus with your friend, sharing the hottest mushroom street food, you taste it and your tastebuds spring back to life. You both munch on it happily, faces covered with sauces and smiles. Your heart was at its most carefree moment and nothing else really mattered. It was you, your friends, and the food.

I am sitting in my room thinking about it, it's neither the friendship nor the food, but the moment that gets lost. The lightness it had, the smiles it brought, even though you both were exhausted as hell, standing by a crowded bus stop, you didn't feel alone, the moment had you in its arms.

Right now is a far different place from that. Right now is a wave of nostalgia showering its shores with hard waters of epiphanies. Right now just left by, right now just came in. Right now will leave now. Right now won't come again.

Time is the rock thrown into the ocean. It'll keep drowning farther and farther away.

It'll eat the stars for breakfast and dinner,

It plants new lives, takes souls passing away, in the center of its palm, and kisses like they're baby turtles. Time is a starfish, it sticks to your memory, but never to you. When the time comes, just live. Coz you'll be this way ever again.

You know when I realised that I'll be crushed without you?

When you were pestering mum, trying bite her hands off, jumping like you had trampoline hindlimbs and I couldn't help but cry from my sunken eyes and heart, laughing through the tears, just in awe at how much my heart had to fight all the fucking odds to have you here, literally

You were never really in the plan

If this isn't meant to be, what else is?

I know you bite our skin off, cons of toothing puppy owner but you know what, I'll happily give both my hands for you to chomp coz I just love you, like as vast as the sky.

We didn't plan your name beforehand, it was something else, but you were different, you were not mere "azhagi" you're SHERO of our household, you save us in various different dimensions, and if something hurts you, know that we'll be fucking end for that.

Am still crying and my heart won't stop squeezing itself out of all the love I have for you. 💚

Thank you for finding me

Healing my heart,

Giving me purpose in your life,

You were different, all the I need

I love you💚

You're my green heart💚

Yes ok I admit

I have dreams and desires of life I wanna share with you

Only you

Concerts, movie dates, Saturday nights, hazy evenings, long drives, many many more

I went to a concert recently and spotted gorgeous couples, they were all stuck in a zone that felt so dreamy from this distance. The looks the shared, stolen glances of one who got immersed in their fav song, I want to be just two of us, standing in a blind spot so away from the world, dancing, screaming,

workitgurl

Want to be alone >>>>> forced to be alone

It feels like home to talk to you,

It feels different from everything I felt for u,

I am giddy with joy, yet grounded by ur presence, idk what worked out in ur brain, but it only makes me smile wider.

You may never know how I feel rn and it's ok, this was all I needed from u

A few kind words, attentive conversation, active replies, that's it. I won't ask for more, though am a petty human with senseless desires, i will stop myself from asking more. This was all I needed❤️

Not a promised forever, or any brewing feelings, just few glances we catch of eachother, how we explain that to eachother, how we notice tiny details and get bummed if we don't find one another around, how it bothers the other if one keeps silent or looks dull. That's all ❤️ that'll be it.

You may never know how much I'll hold on to it

My mum can't really decipher me

She's unsure if I am fat or thin

Smart or stupid

Coz to her I am anything and everything

Only with an iota of information our human brains can absorb, our hearts can endlessly create wants and needs, but the universe is of vast knowledge beyond the capability of our brains to decipher, though we can feel such knowledge, like the air we breathe.

We can desire anything with the tiniest of information, but try to give space and believe in the miraculously unpredictable way of the universe in making things happen

Let yourself be surprised now and then

Let go of your guessing games and go live with every moment of hidden surprises

//The kinda love that'll always live in you//

You remember your first crush, that stole your heart when you guys were merely in kindergarten, you remember thinking of him as your best friend, getting excited to meet him at school, though you forget how you felt when you were with your friends, you had stupid dreams of building a building-block castle with him. You were just a kid, so unaware of how love felt in your heart, yet you were just there carrying it everywhere like it's your favorite toy. //

You always knew what he was doing, where he was going, who he was friends with, what he was good at, and what his favorite food was, but the painful knowledge of knowing you were not his favorite person, pained you. And yet your heart won't give up. He was perfect like your spine had a part of his, and you could think of a universe where things just clicked between you both, and in your world, you both defined "happily ever after" and that was all you needed to hold on and hope. You kept refilling hope like it's petrol for your constantly aching heart. It slowly became your drug until something sharp and sturdy hit your head. The rose-tinted glasses cracked and shattered into shards of broken promises you made to yourself, but you slowly picked them up, diligently enough to not hurt yourself this time, and wear them like a charm bracelet, they keep gleaming of hope and love you once saw as if it all happening. You always refused to throw it away, didn't ya? //

The love that was shared and cared for under the name tag of friendship, there was a protective layer of dismissal of the obvious, coz you both thought what you had was too precious to strip off the coating. This person was constantly and consciously living in your brain, their ghost remained in your heart, whispering sweet nothings and the cheesiest of romantic lines. You know you'll cringe at the gestures when you mature up, but you still went for it, coz well it's love and why won't anyone go for it? This love gradually withers and yet when you remember it fondly it takes you back to the age of innocence, that's lost by now.//

On a breezy evening when you randomly end up locking eyes with a guy who was softly petting a stray puppy, you feel some new spark lit in between the glances you stole of him, whoever he was he seemed nice and you'll think of him at very odd times and smile at how simple love can be, living between stolen glances and intimacy of shared smiles between strangers.//

Live slowly and gently like you're a falling flake of first snow of the year, with crystal clear pattern through the mildest of breezes <3

Appreciate people then and there; Everyone's facing something, a few good words may mean the world to them <3

When I was standing in the crowded temple against the ticking time and worshipping souls, I wondered what they'll worship.

There was the deity, deliberately decorated, majestic with flowers and jewels adorning the aura, but what is so worshipable, about something so beautiful? Beauty? The statues of gods and goddesses starring past our begging souls straight into the great beyond, make us doubt if we are ever heard by them.

I whispered in Nandi's flag ear, that I wanted to join a good college, I almost felt a reply coming back to me, you see I love animals so much, even a statue seems like it's nodding back to my wishes. It was a secret between us, until now. I see the same Nandi sitting ostentatiously in almost all the temples I go to, I remember our secret and smile to myself, I don't know if it's the supernatural element of God or my deeply convincing love for cows, I always feel like Nandi smiles back at me, every single time.

My close friend does her dua many times a day, with this utmost reverence, she goes deaf and blind to anything happening around her and sinks in herself as she sinks on her legs, and bows up and down for God knows how many times, her hands cupped like they're begging for love and life, as her neck turns to right and left, as is there are two more of them standing beside her. I sit there beside her staring at her movements, thinking about how in the world she felt God, and how it feels, maybe like how it feels to listen to kun faya.

I pet dogs whenever I go to parks and those cutest indies come rushing at my sight, knowing they're gonna get pampered with so many pets from me (oh they sense it so well😩), and one day I had to drive my scooter all in tears, I happened to go by the park and stopped there when I saw my favorite blacky there, the usually ignorant one, magically standing by me with all his attention, looking in my eyes as if he was hugging my soul, that was all it took to burst the rest of the tears out and he stood there until I had to leave.

Maybe that's what it feels like when she does her dua.

I see the sentiments behind having keychains of different gods hinged with their keys as if they'll protect the keys from getting lost,

I see it when my mom stresses me to wear a binding, to avoid kannu, pressing my scoot key against a photo frame of her favorite God, yes as if I'll be protected from facing even a tinge of accident.

When I had to invariably depend on the element of God to keep my fears at the bay, trying to knock out the worst of thoughts and anxiety

Humans were clever enough to invent supernatural phenomena to save themselves from drowning in their perceived reality.

You can be all the wild human that you are and still be fine🌻

Nothing can heal you like train journeys <3

Each mind has a unique way of tormenting its humans; Each human seeks their way of managing the torment;

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