Do you have a family history of high cholesterol? How long ago were you last labs ? Like some people are just genetically predisposed to higher cholesterol. It might be worth seeking out a dietician & letting them know your history of ED & health concerns. A lot of Americans don't get enough protien & fiber in their daily diets. Are you exercising or weight lifting? Was your doctor considered? You will get through this safely:)
My mother has had high cholesterol (idk if she still does), but she also used to be heavier so idk if Iām genetically predisposed or if that was because of her diet and exercise. My father also had a heart attack a few years ago, which again idk if that bc of cholesterol or something else. I had labs last year and my cholesterol levels were fine, so Iām pretty sure it has to do with my weight gain and eating habits from the last year. I also donāt go out of my way to exercise, but I have a very active job and I try to go for walks often. My doctor was considerate, and said that she might want to put me on a statin medication, so weāll see how that goes. In the meantime, my girlfriend and I are both trying to focus on choosing healthier foods (theyāve also been gaining ārelationship weightā š¤Ŗ), not that we were eating unhealthy before, but weāre trying to focus more on getting fruits, veggies, protein, and whole grains in every meal and picking alternatives to some of our foods that are lower in saturated fats, but still trying to ignore calorie amounts. So hopefully that will be enough and wonāt send me spiraling š
So Iāve been in recovery from an eating disorder for about 7 years now, and have been able to maintain a pretty healthy weight in that time. But over the course of this year Iāve been gaining a lot of weight, which Iāve been telling myself is fine because I donāt want to slip into bad habits. Iāve been avoiding looking at the scale for the same reason, but I had a doctorās appointment today and saw that my weight had gone up by a lot, and while I know that BMI is bullshit, I now fall into the overweight category. I also had labs done, and my bad cholesterol is pretty high. So now Iām feeling anxious about my weight and cholesterol levels bc Iām not at a healthy weight anymore.
Iām caught between thinking āitās ok to be overweight and itās ok to have slightly elevated cholesterol as long as Iām doing what feels right for my bodyā and āmaybe I should try to lose weight and lower my cholesterol in a healthy way that isnāt literally starving myselfā but both directions feel like slippery slopes. I feel like Iām the past year Iāve actually been eating healthier foods, just more of it than in the past. I eat more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and vegan proteins (I was already vegetarian, and my gf is vegan so Iāve been eating more vegan food). Sure, I could cut out added sugars and saturated fats, but targeting certain food groups like that feels like the start of restrictive dieting like my eating disorder days. But I also donāt want to gain so much weight and cholesterol that Iām at risk of a heart attack or stroke, or that my eating disorder brain will be disgusted by and send me spiraling back
I doubt thereās some easy solution and Iāll just have to struggle with my weight and cholesterol levels until itās all in check. I just donāt know what to do without making things worse I guess
ig 10 years ago I would have been 19 and finishing up my first year at community college. I was still heartbroken over my high school boyfriend dumping me, and was convinced I would never find love again. Although at that point I had already made some friends at community college, so I wasnāt quite as determined to kms lol
7 years ago I would have been 22, I was at university and surprise surprise I was just dumped again after a 2 year relationship, so things were not going great lol. I was deep in the trenches of my eating disorder just trying to get someone to notice how much I was suffering, all while living in a different city than where I grew up and still not having made very many friends
4 years ago I would have been 25, I had just been asked to resign from my first teaching job bc I couldnāt control my classā behavior and was desperately trying to find a new teaching job for the following school year. I was also dating an abuser, who was consistently stealing my money to buy drugs and alcohol, screaming at me about how I wasnāt good enough, and generally making me feel like shit
Last year wasnāt so bad! I was just finishing off the school year with my class of 2y/os and getting ready to start the summer at camp with the 4y/os. I had good friendships with a couple of coworkers, and had recently reconnected with and started to build a close friendship with my now-girlfriend (who I had met the summer before, and started dating the next June).
And now, things are even better! I own my own home, Iām finishing up the school year with my class of 4y/os and getting ready to start the summer at camp, and my girlfriend and I are only a month and a half or so away from our one year anniversary! So my current perspective is definitely a lot better than it has been in the past lol
If you could reach out to yourself from 5 years ago with words of wisdom, what would you say?
Idk, usually Iām the type of person who wouldnāt necessarily try to change anything about the past bc I wouldnāt necessarily learn the same lessons and it would mean that my present would be different. So idk what I would tell my past self lol
It actually went well! I basically explained how my brain works different and I donāt know what to put in my documentation if Iām not told specifically what to put in my documentation, so she asked me specific questions about the kids and wrote down my answers in the documentation, then we came up with specific questions for me to answer for the next monthās documentation
As a preschool teacher, part of my job is to send out monthly documentation to parents. Iāve always thought of this as kind of the preschool version of progress reports or report cards, where we document the childās growth in various areas such as social-emotional, fine motor, gross motor, cognitive development, literacy, etc. All of last year I sent out this monthly documentation to parents and, as far as I know, I never received any complaints. I built great relationships with the kids, which the parents all saw, and so I built great relationships with the parents despite me usually having trouble building relationships with other adults.
At the beginning of this year I was working in the 2 year-old class, but one of the teachers in one of the 4 year-old classes left after a month of school. My administration team asked me to switch over to the 4 year-old class, as they know that Iām flexible, educated in elementary education so 4 is closer to my ideal age range, and Iāve worked with 4s before and they know Iām good with them. My co-teacher in this class just started at my school this year, and apparently starting from the beginning of the school year, the school director (or principal) was working with both of the teachers of this class on writing good documentation. So the director decided she would also work with me on my documentation, even though Iāve never had any problems with my documentation before.
Normally when I write my documentation, I break it up into sections by growth area and talk about how the child has been progressing in that area. In the past, admin had told me that thatās a lot of work and I donāt need to be doing that much, just writing a story about the kid is fine, but my autistic brain found it much easier to break the documentation down into categories and write it that way, so thatās what I did. For this year, since my director is looking so closely at my documentation, sheās being much more insistent that I have more of a story format. I changed up the way I wrote my documentation so that instead of having strict categories, it flowed more easily between the categories but I still addressed different areas of growth. This, apparently, still isnāt good enough.
My director sent me an email saying that my documentation focuses on telling what we did rather than showing the childās experience. She then wrote an example of ātellingā (We worked on letter tracing today. The children practiced their letters and fine motor skills.) and then of āshowingā ([Name] traced the letter R slowly with her finger, pausing to look closely at the shape. She said, āThis one has a leg,ā and adjusted her grip before trying again. When she finished, she smiled and said, āI did it.ā This moment shows her growing fine motor control, persistence, and confidence in her work.). Frankly, to me, the āshowingā version looks like complete bullshit that doesnāt actually explain anything about what the child is learning.
If the expectation for the documentation is to document what the child is learning, then Iām meeting that expectation and shouldnāt have to write some weird fluff about the kids. If the expectation for the documentation is to build a relationship with the parents and show that I know and see their child, Iām still meeting that expectation by writing about their growth and still shouldnāt have to write some weird fluff about the kids.
On top of that, Iām autistic. It makes much more sense for my brain to write categorically, my brain needs a template to work with instead of just making some shit up every time, and I canāt remember tiny specific moments like that but I can write about general trends that Iāve seen with the kids. So I replied to my directorās email basically saying āI have a disability and would like an accommodation. I would like to be given a specific list of guidelines for what you are looking for in documentation and specific instructions on how to meet those guidelines.ā
She responded to this with frankly more word fluff, and the line she used that stuck out to me the most was āwe all have different strengths and disabilitiesā, as if legitimately having a disability is the same as having some sort of weakness that can be improved if you just buckle up and try harder.
Weāre having a meeting on Tuesday to talk about documentation. I feel fairly certain that my documentation already meets the expectations of documenting child growth and building relationships with families, even without the weird fluffy story. But my director is insisting that I need to write it that way, and the only accommodations sheās listed out are ones like ātake notes or videos of the kids throughout the dayā, which is difficult to do while Iām actively with the kids, and means Iād have to work twice as hard flipping through notes and videos and somehow turning them into some fluffy story when what Iām already doing meets the core expectations.
Idk, am I the one in the wrong here? Should the expectation be that these documents have to be written in this specific way, and therefore the accommodations should be ways for me to write it in this way? Or is my director in the wrong and being frankly ableist by insisting it has to be done this specific way instead of the way that makes sense to my autistic brain?
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