Hi, and welcome to my royal au for the marauders, starring golden prince James, disgraced prince Sirius, dutiful advisor Remus, and Lily's lady maid reader. Featuring magical politics, espionage, seer reader, and of course three, reckless in their own right, bachelors, I hope you'll have a fun time finding your way in this fantastical world.
God where have I even been? Is anyone still here? So much has been happening and I need my boys so I'm back for the marauders (everything I do is informed by them :/), also I am still alive. The march continues on. I'm gonna be honest I have nothing great really, but I do have a bunch of little somethings and some ideas so well I'm just gonna give anyone listening a little bit of it all. So here we go...
(psst... below the cut is 3 teasers: Homesick part 3 update, The Gold and the Rust part 3 update, and ✨Northstar✨ a Poly!marauders Royal AU)
are we noticing a pattern in my lack of part 3s
Homesick teaser
Sirius Black won't say it, but he thinks he might be in love with you. Proper in love with you. The feeling is starting to settle over him like snow catching in his hair.
He doesn't know when it happened, when it started. Maybe it was when James pulled you from the bathroom floor, glossed with fever. Maybe it was when he learned how you like your coffee, or worst of all maybe it was before that. Maybe it was the first time you sat on their couch or when they answered the door.
Sirius would try to convince himself otherwise, to shove those feelings aside as pity or stupid kindness, but he's come to know the feeling of falling in love. It's already happened two more times than he ever thought possible. What's a third really?
The softness he feels for you pools like trapped rainwater. If he were more like Remus he'd write this stuff down, maybe it would make him feel better and less like he's having an affair.
He decides to stop thinking, and instead he focuses on the feeling of Remus's hair running between his fingers. His eyelashes twitch and he makes a soft sound in his throat but he doesn't wake. It's unlike Sirius to wake up before anyone but he's been plagued as of late by words he isn't sure how to say.
He hears your door open and counts to twenty before pulling himself from the bed.
The Gold and the Rust Teaser
It was becoming a habit to check for the Marauders. Half the time you were trying to avoid them and the other half you were trying to find them so you could avoid them. You scanned the hall.
"Who are we looking for?" a voice said behind your shoulder. It made you jump which in turn presented a smiling Remus. "Sorry sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you," he said hands out in front of him. He almost looked bashful. “Well okay maybe I did, but I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“I wasn’t. You didn’t scare me, I mean.” The words came out all squished together.
“Okay,” he said, rocking back on his heels, but he had scared you. The dim light in the common room made the shadows stretch into sharp edges. It reminded you of dark hallways and locked doors. In those moments you left Hogwarts and you were back at that house, not home, never home. In those moments you felt twelve all over again wishing you were anywhere else, Hogwarts even, but most of all, your real home with your real family. Remus couldn’t know that. Nobody could know that.
“Where are the rest of you?” You looked past him but all you saw were a handful of Ravenclaws walking with their backs to you.
“What do you, oh they’re outside. I just needed to get a book from the library.” He said despite the small stack of books in his arms.
You narrow your eyes at them, distrusting, and keep walking.
“A different book,” he says at your expression. After a moment of walking in silence he starts again. “Look, I just wanted to say I’m sorry about the party, we’re all sorry. You're right, it wasn't a good prank.”
“I never said that,” you start, he half smiles at you, “I said it makes things harder for people, which I still think so…” His smile faltered, but he kept in step with you.
“No you’re right, we- they’re supposed to make things easier, more fun, but I guess we get too caught up in what’s fun for us, and not anyone else.”
“What are you getting at, Remus?” you asked, trying to find your way out of the conversation.
Northstar
You didn't know where the dreams came from. All you knew was they stopped when you found Lily. Fourteen, tired, cold, and drenched in rain you climbed the stone wall on the edge of the forest. How could you have known it was the garden to a king's winter home? All the same, by the grace of some old forgotten god Lily found you.
"Merlin, how long have you been out here?” Lily, cheeks already stinging from the cold, looked around frantically. She was torn. Everything she'd ever been told said to call for the guards, that a princess only ever needed to saved. She was also a lady and ladies, despite what men would believe, could make their own decisions. So she decided. She unclipped her hood.
There, in the garden, you were sure an angel had come to take you. You sat against the wall ready to let her, eyes threatening to drifting close. The running was over, an angel had finally come.
The girl shook your shoulders, hard. "Come on,” she said, “up you go." Your eyes found her in the dark, she was younger than an angel ought be. She knelt in front of you gold edged by distant lanterns. "Look I'm,” she set her mouth in a firm line, “I’m going to help you, but we really must go before the guards come looking for me.”
The word “guards” sounded like a warning call through your chest. Guards were all too real and despite your surity that this was a snowy dream, even your dreams had consequences. You pushed to stand and the girl hauled you the rest of the way. She murmered something didn’t understand and spread her cloak over your shoulders, it was so warm it almost burned.
She dragged your slow form beside her. Inside you felt less and less like this was a dream, but it almost had to be.
a/n if you made it down here, thank you it truly means the most. I would love to hear from you and I'd love to chat. How are you? What's your favorite marauders headcannon? Is there one of these series you would like to see first? Also would anyone like any Leon Kennedy fics.
p.s. look out for the Northstar vision board and also a masterlist?
I know it's been some time since you worked on your fic "The Gold and the Rust"! I just read the first two parts, and I just have to say that I absolutely adore your writing style, and really hope that you'll continue the series, it has soo much potential<33
Xx
Thank you so much!!! It has been too long really. I’m gonna be so for real that story is the reason I started my tumblr and I have so many ideas and so much love for it. It’s very dear to me and you’ve inspired me to look at it again so I thank you. I have not forgotten it so I will start working on its continuation. Thank you again for your kind words ❤️❤️
I apologize for the wait. I'm officially the worst, but here she is!
Your roommates were nice, too nice. It was a suffocating drowning feeling. James, Remus and Sirius were nice, and all you could do was shrink around it. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, just the way it was.
They believed the lie that you still hadn’t unpacked your coat, and James gave you one of his. You walked to work trying to ignore that his smell still lingered in the fabric. It was the closest thing you’d had to a hug in a long time. It made you miss them.
You were ready to live off of stolen saltines from work. Working at a cheap diner was far from glorious, but it was the first place to hire you when you needed it. The last few weeks your tips had been shitty and the customers shittier, but somehow your roommates always made too much for dinner. So last night you ate the best pasta you’d ever had trying not to choke on your own guilt.
It was never that you disliked your roommates, the opposite, really. You liked them too much; you could just never seem to bridge the gap. They were like an opulent display in a store window. You felt like a kid pressing up against the glass but never opening the door; you couldn’t afford any of it anyway.
You'd already been two weeks late paying rent last month, saving up tips. Your roommates of course, were nothing but obliging. It just made the guilt worse. Remus tried to pull you aside once to tell you it was okay if you couldn't, but you quickly brushed him off. You knew they were already charging less than they should.
So you found yourself stealing glances, watching from the hall as Remus came home and Sirius took his bag before he was ever fully inside. You saw them pile into the same bedroom as you brushed your teeth, soft whispers and laughs coming from the door.
Last night was no different, you peeking into how they were with each other from the kitchen doorway. James was making the pasta from scratch and there was flour in his hair, on his nose, the rim of his glasses. Sirius was hugging Remus from behind while the latter used the sleeve of his sweater to clean James’s glasses. You can’t recall ever being that comfortable with someone. Sometimes you’d think about it as you fell asleep, stealing the ghost of their warmth to lull your eyes closed.
Now as you flipped the open sign to close, you found yourself stuck there. Stuck in the kitchen doorway haunted by the golden light in the windows and the unwarranted thoughts of what it would feel like to be any one of the three of them.
“Hey, my boyfriends here and he hates waiting on me, you don’t mind if I run, do you?” Stephanie asked, smacking her gum between her teeth.
You shook your head despite yourself.
“Thanks you're the best,” she said already out the door. Great now you’d have to close by yourself.
You finally got done at eleven and the darkness that greeted you on your way home was cold and sticky. You’d left James’s coat at home because you’d been in a mood, too stubborn to accept any help even if it was just a stupid coat. Now you were just stupidly cold, but at least it was something. Every day you felt more like a crack in the sidewalk, weeds growing from between your ribs, only to be crushed underfoot, so just feeling cold was a nice change of pace.
It was a somewhat peaceful walk until you felt the first raindrop plop onto the top of your head. Before you knew it rain was coming down in fat droplets soaking you from your head to your sneakers, your socks were already wet. You picked up the pace, cursing yourself for taking the long way home.
“Hey,” you heard the voice before noticing the car slow beside you on the road. You felt your blood run cold. “You need a ride,” the man hollered over the rain. You looked but didn’t stop. Two men were in the car, matching your speed and creeping dangerously close to the sidewalk. From the drooping of their eyes you could tell they were probably drunk. The one closest to you had long hair that kept falling in his face.
“No, thank you,” you practically squeaked, far from intimidating if even believable.
“It’s raining,” he said, a hand waving out the window. “Don’t be like that, we're just trying to be nice.”
“I’m alright.” You offered a stupid smile, like a stupid sheep smiling at snarling wolves. The pit in your stomach did a full turn. A voice in your head told you if you got in that car you wouldn’t end up anywhere nice.
“Come on,” the man said he was practically through the window and you felt a hand close around your wrist. You used all of your body weight to pull away from him, stumbling back a bit as you did. You backed up as far as possible before running as fast as you could. By the time you made it to your apartment you were crying, hot tears mixing with cold rain.
You slipped through the front door hoping your roommates had gone to bed. Three pairs of eyes were on you as soon as the door clicked shut. James was the first to get up.
“I had no idea it was gonna rain, not like that," he said, glancing out the window. “I’m sorry I was here, I could have gotten you from work.” Now he was looking at the kitchen, “Are you hungry? I made Indian food. Do you like-”
“James,” Remus said softly, a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright?” he asked, brow wrought with concern.
Your eyes were wide looking between the three of them. Your chest rattled with uneven breaths, puffing past frozen lips. Sirius held out a towel for you, you hadn’t noticed him leave. “You’re shaking like a leaf, doll,” he said it like a secret, like he was cluing you in to Remus’s concern.
“Did something happen?” James asked, and then it was quiet and you felt your eyes burn as more tears welled.
“I’m fine.” You attempted a smile, but they saw your lip quiver. There was no way for you to know how much it broke them. “I’m not very hungry,” you lied around an empty stomach.
Remus gave you a sad look, “Are you sure, because if you want to talk, we’re here.”
“God Remus, can you just get off it. I said I was fine.” It came out harsher than you meant to, a knife laced with the edge of panic you couldn’t seem to shake. It was too much, all three of them looking at you like some child, like something about to break.
Why should anybody care if you were okay, as long as you said you were then that was enough. Why couldn’t they just leave you alone? Everything was so much easier to do alone, it always had been.
You pushed past Sirius to get to your room. He was giving you a look that cut right through you, like he could see all of your insides, everything you tried to hide.
You didn't need anyone's pity; in fact, you didn't need anyone's anything. You made sure of that. It was you against the world, just you. Remus, James, and Sirius, for all their niceties, all their warmth towards you, could never truly understand. They had each other, closer than anyone you'd seen.
You didn’t sleep the rest of the night, not until the sun rose and your tears had dried up.
-
Thank goodness you didn’t work the next day. You woke up with a shiver down your spine curling into an ache in your back. Of course you’d be sick, it was just your luck. Either way the hunt for a new job couldn’t wait, so you trudged into the kitchen.
In front of the coffee pot, sat a chocolate bar with a sticky note stuck to it. In curly writing it said that James had saved you leftovers in the fridge. It made your chest ache. You just couldn’t understand why they cared so much.
“They’re too nice for their own good sometimes,” a voice from the kitchen doorway made you flinch. “That’s from Remus by the way, although if you ask me he shouldn’t be the one apologizing,” Sirius said trailing in with mussed hair and a crooked tank top.
It stung to remember last night, but Sirius wasn’t wrong. You shouldn’t have snapped at Remus, but how were you meant to fix it?
“I get it you know,” he said, reaching around you for the coffee pot and filling two mugs.
“Get what?” you felt backed in a corner but nowhere near the panic of last night. Somehow you knew if you really wanted to leave Sirius wouldn’t stop you, but you had to hear what he had to say.
“Saying you’re fine when you’re not. Getting mad when people care.” He poured a mountain of sugar in his coffee and handed you the milk for yours.
“I don’t…” you trailed off.
“It’s fine, if that’s the way you want to do things, but you’ll have an awfully hard time trying with those two around.” He leaned against the counter, hair falling over his cheeks. “And a secret, it feels so much better when you stop doing everything alone.”
“Yeah thanks Sirius,” you said, trying not to fold in on yourself until you disappeared.
He swayed off the counter, heading back out of the kitchen. He stopped before fully leaving the doorway. ”I’d eat that chocolate. Remus gave it to you to make you feel better, just,” he sighed, “give it a try, doll.”
You grabbed a tylenol from the bottle on the counter. You stood for a minute staring at the chocolate bar, you finally took it as you returned to your room.
The next day you were plagued by Sirius’s words. You’d tried to apologize to Remus, he’d just asked if you liked the chocolate, and James well he was still James, bright, loving, perfectly James. It seemed like maybe you could try, that was until your fever took a turn for the worst.
It was time to go back to work and you couldn’t afford to call in. You’d spent half your time trying to ignore being sick and the other half trying to sleep it off. The ache in your back had spread to the rest of your body, worst of all being your head. Your head felt like a weight on your shoulders and your eyelids felt perpetually heavy. You managed to get dressed in your work uniform but by then you felt on the verge of collapsing. You convinced yourself you could make it. You just needed to bring your fever down and then things would be fine, the tylenol would kick in and you could manage.
You wet a cloth in the bathroom sink and sank to the floor, just fifteen minutes, cool off and then leave.
-
“Sometimes things just take time James,” Remus said, dropping his bag at the hall tree next to the front door. “We’ve had years to get comfortable together, she’ll come around.”
“Maybe we could write her a letter,” James said, earnest in his suggestion. “I just don’t want to be doing something that makes her uncomfortable.”
“You’re not doing anything wrong, Prongs,” Sirius said, sliding a hand across James’s back. “Promise. Moony is right, she just needs time.”
“If you say so,” James said, feeling somewhat defeated. He just wanted you to feel comfortable in your own home. He wanted to fix it, just like he wanted to fix everything. He was at least going to write you a note, but on his way to the bedroom he noticed you through the open bathroom door.
“Shit.” He rushed into the bathroom. He knelt down next to you, calling your name. “Are you alright?”
Your head bobbed off of the side of the bathtub as you woke up. “James,” you said, utterly confused. You’d just closed your eyes for a minute. When did he get here?
“Hello love,” he said, a hand coming to your forehead. “You’re boiling.”
“Oh my god what time is it?” you said, a slur of words all mushed together in your tired panic.
“James, Remus wants takeaway. What do you-” Sirius’s words died at the sight before him.
“C’mon let’s get you off the floor,” James said, taking the brunt of your weight as he pulled you up.
“Here I thought we had talked about this,” Sirius said, braced at your other side.
“I’m fine,” you said, trying to will the shaking out of your legs.
“Right and I’m the queen.” Sirius laughed to himself a small exasperated thing, nothing at all like his normal laugh.
Remus finally saw you as you sat in a heap on the sofa, he exhaled your name. “Thank goodness you didn’t go to work. You’re burning up.” He pushed hair from your face, tsking in the soft concerned voice usually reserved only for James and Sirius. “I’ll make tea. Pads, the tylenol, please.”
You let your head fall into your hands as you felt James pulling off your shoes. “I’m so fired,” you sighed, voice full of tired frustration.
“Seemed like a shit job anyways,” Sirius said, turning for the kitchen.
“Do you mind if I?” James started a hand toward your neck.
You gave him a pained, inquisitive look, but he didn’t wait. He pressed his fingers to the side of your neck. Despite yourself you leaned into the warmth. He was counting to himself.
“Just wanted to make sure you weren’t in any distress.” He kept his hand still for a moment. “You’re not, just a nasty fever. You can have a blanket but I say lots of fluids, rest, and a cold compress to get that fever down.”
“Thank you Dr. Potter,” Sirius said, returning with an assortment of medicine bottles. Remus was quick to follow with tea in hand.
“Does your throat hurt? I added honey,” Remus said, holding the mug out to you, but you didn’t take it. It felt like you couldn’t.
Three expectant pairs of eyes landed on you, and that’s when the seams ripped. “I just…” you caught on the word, breath hitching, “Why are you being so nice to me?”
“That’s the fever talking,” James said, rocking onto the couch next to you. Remus and Sirius looked like they weren’t so sure.
“No, I- I’m mean, and I don’t let you help. I’m always telling you no, or going off somewhere. You shouldn’t be nice to me.”
“I believe that’s for us to decide, thank you,” Sirius said.
Remus sank to his knees in front of you, pressing the mug into your hands. “Despite what you may want to think. We want you here. We like you. And sometimes people need help and that’s okay.”
“Remus and Sirius are right, love. We’re selfish,” James flashed a mischievous grin, “let us take care of you. We want to.”
“If I may have a moment alone with our patient,” Sirius said, a nudging look in his eyes. Reluctantly the two stood, James already planning a healing soup for this very occasion.
“I hate to say I told you so, but-” Sirus started.
“You love to say I told you so,” James and Remus said almost in unison near the kitchen. You felt a tired smile creep on the corners of your mouth.
“Okay fine, but what I’m trying to say is, let us help you. It feels so much better than running yourself ragged all alone. I know because I tried, and this,” he gestured around him, to the sight of Remus and James cooking in practiced turns through the kitchen door, “this is exactly what I needed.”
poly!marauders roommate au! kinda shy reader and very caring boys
I said I would post and I did! what an absolutely crazy feat.
Your roommates were, well, interesting. They were nice, that you were sure of. They were nothing but helpful when you moved in, but there were just a few things you couldn't quite figure out. The biggest of them being where you fit in.
Sirius, Remus, and James seemed to be waiting for your next move. Would your routine match theirs? Would you keep your shoes by the front door? What day did you do laundry? They never got any clues to answer this question because frankly you were trying to make yourself as scarce as possible.
It felt like trying to wedge another book in a too full shelf. This was not for lack of trying on their end. They threw you a welcome party which consisted of James and Sirius getting a bit too tipsy while you sipped a drink in the corner of the couch. Their friends were nice too, of course they were. It was all just so, new and new often felt just like scary.
So now, as laughter drifted from the living room, it sharpened the solemn silence of your own room. Before you could second guess yourself you threw on your shoes and creaked the door open slowly.
"Sirius you can't do that, it's cheating," you heard Remus yell down the hall. The sound stood out in your right ear poking through the door. You'd never heard Remus yell before. Did he do that?
"What now?" James said with a shake of his head, he was walking down the hall past your room, that is he was walking until he saw you. "Hi," he said, smile wide, a warm invite already shining through his features. "Were we being too loud?" he asked brows quickly drawn together.
You felt frozen like a kid caught sneaking out past bedtime, which was an annoying feeling. "I was just heading out," you said, brave enough to open the door fully, joining him in the hall.
"Oh, well you're welcome to join if you'd like," James said, making his way towards the boisterous living room. You were slow to follow but upon seeing the full room a pit fell in your stomach.
It was an odd feeling to be a block of ice in a room with such warmth, an underlying buzz of happiness. You'd never felt so lonely surrounded by friends that were just out of arms reach. The odd one out, the grape that fell from the vine.
Before you could drown in your feelings the snap of a beer can brought you back. Sirius snapping his fingers in a matching sound urging James to share. That was another thing, your roommates didn't feel like any friends you'd had before. They were closer, more comfortable, sharing soft words in the kitchen and slow nights piling into the same room.
The red haired girl, Lily, if you remembered right, was the first to notice you. "Hi," she said face cracking into a smile with sharp corners and soft eyes.
Remus who was still arguing with Sirius quickly fizzled out and turned to you. "Was I being too loud?" he said with a slightly pained face. Why were they so worried about that. This was their home often times you felt like a mouse that hid in the walls only venturing out when it was quiet.
"No, just heading out." You shoved your hands in your pockets.
"You'll want a coat." Remus said looking out the window.
"Oh," you said, the sound hanging in the air. A coat. Had you unpacked that yet? Did you still have one?
"Borrow mine," James said pointing at the overflowing coat rack.
"Are you- you're sure?"
James was busy downing his drink. "He's sure," Sirius said for him. "If you must leave doll, I'd recommend now because I," he threw small colored bills onto the table, "am buying Park Place."
At this, Remus erupted again. "What? Alright, who said he could be banker because you are clearly cheating!"
Despite yourself, you laughed as you left the apartment. You were outside when it hit you that you had no reason to actually be out. You absolutely did not want your roommates to know you had no friends in the city, or that their ad online while it saved you financially left you stranded on a deserted island of your own making. It just always seemed easier that way to never really settle in.
To know people they had to know you back. That meant leaving pieces of yourself like glass in the ocean you never knew where it would end up, when it would come back to cut you.
You walked until James' coat felt made of mesh, until your hands were numb and your feet hurt. You weren't sure quite how long it had been but upon your return the apartment was much quieter, even the lights softer.
"There you are," Sirius said arms wide almost like a bow a garbage bag in one hand.
"Is she back?" you heard Remus call from one of the bedrooms.
"Yeah," Sirius called back.
"Did you have a nice time?" James said head peaking out from the kitchen. "Did you eat?" You noticed now he was wearing a kitchen apron.
"You all didn't have to stay up for me," you said rather confused. Were roommates supposed to be like this?
"We were cleaning," Sirius said emphasis on cleaning. He gave Remus a sharp eyed look as he came into the living room.
"We just wanted to make sure you got home safe," Remus said a hand on Sirius's shoulder soft and sliding down his arm. Sirius stuck his tongue out.
You got stuck on that word, home, it felt sticky in your mouth, somewhere between iimaginary and tangible.
"Did you eat?" James asked again. The three of them looked at you expectantly. It felt like you were see through, like they would see the lie floating up to your mouth, and for some inexplicable reason it wasn't the worst feeling.
"No," you confessed, met by a tsking sound from Sirius.
"What are you waiting for then?" James asked sounding ever like a mother.
As you hung up his coat you had the sneaking feeling that try as you might to be scarce, to not settle, the closeness the boys had, the comfortable taken care of feeling was inevitable in its spread. It seeped into your cold hands replacing them with a nice warmth that filled your chest and left you feeling more whole than you had in a long time.
poly!marauders roommate au! kinda shy reader and very caring boys
I said I would post and I did! what an absolutely crazy feat.
Your roommates were, well, interesting. They were nice, that you were sure of. They were nothing but helpful when you moved in, but there were just a few things you couldn't quite figure out. The biggest of them being where you fit in.
Sirius, Remus, and James seemed to be waiting for your next move. Would your routine match theirs? Would you keep your shoes by the front door? What day did you do laundry? They never got any clues to answer this question because frankly you were trying to make yourself as scarce as possible.
It felt like trying to wedge another book in a too full shelf. This was not for lack of trying on their end. They threw you a welcome party which consisted of James and Sirius getting a bit too tipsy while you sipped a drink in the corner of the couch. Their friends were nice too, of course they were. It was all just so, new and new often felt just like scary.
So now, as laughter drifted from the living room, it sharpened the solemn silence of your own room. Before you could second guess yourself you threw on your shoes and creaked the door open slowly.
"Sirius you can't do that, it's cheating," you heard Remus yell down the hall. The sound stood out in your right ear poking through the door. You'd never heard Remus yell before. Did he do that?
"What now?" James said with a shake of his head, he was walking down the hall past your room, that is he was walking until he saw you. "Hi," he said, smile wide, a warm invite already shining through his features. "Were we being too loud?" he asked brows quickly drawn together.
You felt frozen like a kid caught sneaking out past bedtime, which was an annoying feeling. "I was just heading out," you said, brave enough to open the door fully, joining him in the hall.
"Oh, well you're welcome to join if you'd like," James said, making his way towards the boisterous living room. You were slow to follow but upon seeing the full room a pit fell in your stomach.
It was an odd feeling to be a block of ice in a room with such warmth, an underlying buzz of happiness. You'd never felt so lonely surrounded by friends that were just out of arms reach. The odd one out, the grape that fell from the vine.
Before you could drown in your feelings the snap of a beer can brought you back. Sirius snapping his fingers in a matching sound urging James to share. That was another thing, your roommates didn't feel like any friends you'd had before. They were closer, more comfortable, sharing soft words in the kitchen and slow nights piling into the same room.
The red haired girl, Lily, if you remembered right, was the first to notice you. "Hi," she said face cracking into a smile with sharp corners and soft eyes.
Remus who was still arguing with Sirius quickly fizzled out and turned to you. "Was I being too loud?" he said with a slightly pained face. Why were they so worried about that. This was their home often times you felt like a mouse that hid in the walls only venturing out when it was quiet.
"No, just heading out." You shoved your hands in your pockets.
"You'll want a coat." Remus said looking out the window.
"Oh," you said, the sound hanging in the air. A coat. Had you unpacked that yet? Did you still have one?
"Borrow mine," James said pointing at the overflowing coat rack.
"Are you- you're sure?"
James was busy downing his drink. "He's sure," Sirius said for him. "If you must leave doll, I'd recommend now because I," he threw small colored bills onto the table, "am buying Park Place."
At this, Remus erupted again. "What? Alright, who said he could be banker because you are clearly cheating!"
Despite yourself, you laughed as you left the apartment. You were outside when it hit you that you had no reason to actually be out. You absolutely did not want your roommates to know you had no friends in the city, or that their ad online while it saved you financially left you stranded on a deserted island of your own making. It just always seemed easier that way to never really settle in.
To know people they had to know you back. That meant leaving pieces of yourself like glass in the ocean you never knew where it would end up, when it would come back to cut you.
You walked until James' coat felt made of mesh, until your hands were numb and your feet hurt. You weren't sure quite how long it had been but upon your return the apartment was much quieter, even the lights softer.
"There you are," Sirius said arms wide almost like a bow a garbage bag in one hand.
"Is she back?" you heard Remus call from one of the bedrooms.
"Yeah," Sirius called back.
"Did you have a nice time?" James said head peaking out from the kitchen. "Did you eat?" You noticed now he was wearing a kitchen apron.
"You all didn't have to stay up for me," you said rather confused. Were roommates supposed to be like this?
"We were cleaning," Sirius said emphasis on cleaning. He gave Remus a sharp eyed look as he came into the living room.
"We just wanted to make sure you got home safe," Remus said a hand on Sirius's shoulder soft and sliding down his arm. Sirius stuck his tongue out.
You got stuck on that word, home, it felt sticky in your mouth, somewhere between iimaginary and tangible.
"Did you eat?" James asked again. The three of them looked at you expectantly. It felt like you were see through, like they would see the lie floating up to your mouth, and for some inexplicable reason it wasn't the worst feeling.
"No," you confessed, met by a tsking sound from Sirius.
"What are you waiting for then?" James asked sounding ever like a mother.
As you hung up his coat you had the sneaking feeling that try as you might to be scarce, to not settle, the closeness the boys had, the comfortable taken care of feeling was inevitable in its spread. It seeped into your cold hands replacing them with a nice warmth that filled your chest and left you feeling more whole than you had in a long time.
marauders post coming tomorrow btw! is this far too short for my liking? yes. but expect much more frequent updates because that is a goal of mine and if you want to scream at me to write more or write something you want to see please do
You'd been walking for hours, the sun an ever-rising beacon overhead. You just had to make it to sundown. Then you would all stop. Then you could rest. Nancy said the whole trip shouldn't take more than three days tops. Three hours was enough to have your side burning but at least your head wasn't spinning as bad as it had on your way back to camp with Steve.
Robin hadn't stopped talking for the last hour. To her credit she was doing so quietly especially after some thinly veiled sighs drifted from Nancy's station at the front. Steve and Jonathan held up the back and you thought it must kill Steve not to be at the front as he so often was.
"That was when I decided I hated camping," Robin said.
You nodded, hardly paying attention. You got the feeling Robin was talking less to have you listen to her and more to have something to do, which is why it surprised you so much when she leveled a very genuine and curious look your way.
"What were you like when you were little?" she asked.
"What?" You looked at her like she'd just spoken a different language.
"When you were little," she started again, "what were you like? Did you like horses? What did you want to be when you grew up?"
It seemed like a very redundant question now. There was no point in remembering who you were before, what you liked, what you wanted. It was all gone now, everything. You liked Robin. She always meant well, which is precisely why you couldn't say all of that to her.
"I don't really know," you shrugged and quickly regretted it as it pulled on your side which was growing increasingly sore. "I liked to read. I think I might have wanted to be a librarian."
You heard Steve snort behind you. "What about you then, pretty boy?" You threw at him, although you could have guessed exactly what kind of child he was.
"Firefighter," he said, his chest puffed out slightly, clearly he thought highly of the choice.
This time Robin snorted. "He wanted to be He-man," Robin said to you in mock secret. Steve made a childish sound but he didn't object.
"I think we would have been friends," Robin said, like it meant the world. "Don't tell anyone but I didn't have very many friends." She laughed but it sounded more like a sad sound.
For Robin's benefit you admitted, "I didn't either." You don't know why but you kept going. "My sister said it would get easier." Thinking about your childhood, your family, burned, like hot coffee scalding your tongue. You'd slipped. It had been so natural to say less than a month ago, to think of her. Now, it caught your breath at the top of your lungs.
"I know what you mean," Robin said, solemnly, like a condolence. Everyone here had lost someone, whether they were gone or truly lost. You never knew how much you had until you truly lost it all.
"We should stop for a minute, Nance," Jonathan called, cutting through the silence. Nancy was further ahead than she had been.
"I don't know about you guys but I'm hungry," Jonathan said with a soft smile. At that Nancy snapped into the here and now. You'd quickly learned that had it been anyone else she would have easily told them no, but she listened to Jonathan. It must have been love.
"We can stop for lunch," she said, dropping her bag onto the ground. "But not for too long, we were making good time." Jonathan pulled the oatmeal out of his bag and Steve groaned from beside him.
--
After lunch when conversation died and the steady rhythm of walking left the forest hollow, Steve did what he did best, tried not to worry.
He held up the rear alone now as Jonathan walked side by side with Nancy. His mind was tangled in a loop, caught between checking the surroundings for red skies or deformed creatures that spilled over from the upside down, that and the thing he tried to avoid most.
The last phone call he'd had with Dustin. It was so normal. He was counting the days for senior year to end. He said it'd be any day now that he'd get a flood of college acceptance letters. Steve knew he would. He was the smartest kid, smartest person, he knew.
Now where was he? Was he with the others? Was he alright? That was a dangerous question. One that made his chest tighten. It was the question that restarted the loop, that forced him back to the forest and watching his footing and counting heads. Which is exactly how he knew you were falling before it happened.
The terrain wasn't nearly as flat and open as it was closer to the barn. The forest was denser, wet from a rain you didn't see at camp. Your arm slid down the tree ripping bark with it as a root caught your shoe. Steve was close enough to grab your elbow, pulling you up before your face could collide with a rock.
He expected wide eyed shock or maybe even a hint of gratitude on your face, but there was neither. All he saw was a painful grimace as you gasped for a breath. Before he could even voice his concern you wrenched free from his grip taking a few unsteady steps forward.
"You guys alright?" Nancy asked, not turning around.
"No," Steve said at the same time you said "yes," voice tight.
The three in the front turned around, stopping to stare between the two of you. "Are you-"
"I just tripped," you said with a wave of your hand all the pain from before wiped from your face. "I'm fine, we can keep going."
"Good, we've been making okay time." Nancy said looking down between her watch and her map.
No, not good, Steve thought. Maybe before he could throw aside that nagging feeling that something was wrong, simply choose not to worry about you, but now, he knew something was well and truly wrong. He couldn't let you threaten the group. He couldn't take that chance. Now it would be on him if anything worse were to happen any of them.
He could tell you were walking quicker now, avoiding him, but as much as you liked to think so, he wasn't an idiot.
"What was that?" he hissed over your shoulder.
"What?" you said, the picture of innocence on your face.
"Don't what me. You know exactly what I'm talking about?" He could feel his face heating up, trying to real in his anger.
"I tripped at the store, a bruise remember. I mean told you just this morning you really must never listen, Harrington."
Yep you definitely thought he was an idiot, but if there was one thing Steve knew by now it was getting his ass kicked.
"A bruise," he said it like a question but it wasn't one. "Doesn't do that," he said pressing his finger into your side. It wasn't soft but he didn't press hard either and here you were sucking a breath through your teeth. A bruised rib maybe but he wasn't buying it.
"God, you're such an asshole," you said just loud enough for him to hear.
"Just tell me the truth."
"I. Am," you said through gritted teeth.
"Fine I guess we can see what Nancy thinks." He started walking towards the front. You grabbed his backpack, a weak pull holding him in place.
"Don't," you said it like you say everything to him, harsh and defensive if not mocking and derisive, but he saw the pleading slant of your eyes.
"Give me one good reason not to." He locked his eyes on yours but you refused to meet his.
"Guys," Robin called from a few yards ahead. When had she gotten so far? She beckoned you both forward. "Hurry up," she said, an urgency in her voice that tightened the ever present knot in Steve's chest.
He heard you exhale. "You're not off the hook," he said pointing a finger at you as he walked backwards, he almost tripped but he caught himself.
He found his place at Robin's side, and before he could ask he saw it for himself. Patches of red sky seeping into the blue. It spread dark as blood into pure white clouds. Lightning cracked through them. It spread like a sickness into everything it touched the sky, animals, people and now it was coming for them.
A/N: i have a plan for the next couple parts so they shouldn't be a month in between anymore sorry about that
hii i was wondering what happened to reader jn the steve apocalypse fic that steve asked if something happened at the grocery store
Hi thanks for asking! I would say that he’s just starting to put the pieces together of her acting weird since then. He’s definitely onto her but he can’t quite decide if he cares. I’ll try to make that clearer in the next part. If that doesn’t make sense please let me know and I can go back and edit a couple lines in the story.
Steve Harrington apocalypse au 1.9k (here's part 1, part 3)
warnings: blood, nightmares, light descriptions of wounds but nothing too gory
A light tap at your shoulder had you bolting upright. It was like plunging into ice water waking that quickly, nothing like the slow mornings you used to know. The sudden movement pulled at the wound on your side, spreading a searing pain that caught your breath and contorted your face in the dark.
"Sorry, y/n I didn't mean to scare you," it was Robin, "though I guess these days it's hard not to." Definitely Robin. "It's your turn." She said it like an apology.
"It's alright," you croaked in her general direction. "How's your ankle?" Robin had taken first watch, not ready to brave the latter on a twisted ankle. Now that she was up here in the hayloft she must have found the courage. You'd hardly made it yourself.
"It's getting better, thanks for taking my spot on the run today." Robin shuffled making her way to her spot beside Steve.
You sank to the ground in the doorway of the barely standing barn. There were holes in the roof, and it sagged in other spots, but it was safer than any part of the city. It was a fortress of rotting wood and now it was your turn to keep watch over it all. Hands shaking you pulled a needle and thread from your jacket pockets. With a lighter in hand, you passed the needle through the flame.
You listened closely for the sound of steady breathing from the hay loft, making sure no one was stirring. Your breath shuddered as you exposed the wound. The makeshift bandage stuck with dried blood. Though your eyes were still adjusting to the dark, a full moon shone in the sky gilding every edge with silver light. It was enough to see without risking a fire. Gritting your teeth you did what had to be done.
By the time it was over your head was swimming. Your fingers were so cold, and they shook so hard it was a wonder you could even hold the needle. The wound was closed that's all that mattered. You pressed the other side of the t-shirt bandage down over it, breath hissing in pain.
"You wouldn't happen to be hiding a drink, would you?"
You jumped so hard at the sound you knocked into the barn door frame. It gave a loud creak through the rest of the building.
"Don't sneak up on me like that," you bit out. Steve was now towering over you still huddled on the ground. You pulled your shirt down far past your handiwork, hoping it was too dark for him to see.
"Mmm." Steve sat next to you on the ground. You shuffled a few inches away. "I was really hoping for a drink," he said throwing his legs out in front of him.
"Yeah, cause a drunk watchman is exactly what we need."
"There's no need to be such a priss about it," he said. Sometimes it felt like he was the only one unaffected by the whole world going to shit. It certainly hadn't made him any kinder.
You tucked your supplies back into your pockets as he watched the sky, his profile gilded in that same silver light of the moon. You could see how once you would have thought he was handsome.
"What are you doing down here anyways?"
"It felt like my turn." He shrugged.
Your eyes narrowed at him it hadn't been near long enough. "I would've came and got you if I was tired."
"You're not?" he questioned cocking his head to one side. "You sure seemed that way."
Silence was all that sat between you, until finally you moved to stand. Your head still spun, and you caught onto the door frame to catch your breath. You saw Steve open his mouth like he was going to say something, but he quickly changed his mind. You did your best to walk as normal as possible. "Night pretty boy," you threw over your shoulder.
-------
"You have to keep your arms up Robin," Steve said exhasperated. "If you're not punching you're blocking." He looked at her expectantly. She gave him a wide eyed nod. He saw the shift in her feet as she lunged forward. He swiped her fist away as quick as it came. Robin huffed stepping back. He could see she still favored her right ankle.
"Are you sure you're the best one to teach people how to fight?" Jonathan teased. He was pouring over a book of maps Nancy had found.
"Very funny," Steve sneered. In all honesty he'd thought the same thing, but Robin had to learn. He had to know she wasn't completely defenseless.
"It's useless Steve. Fight or flight, I'll always pick flight." Robin pulled out her barely holding ponytail.
"You won't always be able to run," Steve said with a huff. He lowered himself to the ground. The grass was cold with morning dew, and the sun cast gold through the trees. In any other world it would be beautiful, but it just unsettled him, like there were shadows hiding and he just couldn't see them.
Robbin plopped down next to him. She pulled out another ponytail and started pulling tufts of short hair into two small braids. Steve elbowed her lightly in the ribs making her elbow duck dangerously close to his nose.
"You're smart. If there's a way to get out then take it. Otherwise, you have to find any way to get the upper hand. Eyes, throat, and nose. Go for those first."
"Or between the legs." Steve craned his neck to see you walking towards the simmering pot of oatmeal sludge. Robin reached up to touch your hand as you passed, he saw you give it a small squeeze.
"Get enough beauty sleep, princess?" It had more of an edge to it than he meant to. There was something about you that just irked him.
You snorted, pouring a mountain of brown sugar into the oatmeal. Robin was on you before the sugar could even melt.
"Did you find that yesterday?" Robin said it like you'd found gold.
You gave her a small nod.
Robin beamed, "Lucky we sent you yesterday. I would've never thought to get that." She sent Steve a look over her shoulder that said he should act greatful, but all he saw was competition.
"Here," you held two mugs overflowing with steam, "get your share." You gave one to Robin. Steve groaned, standing. "Get your own Harrington." You cradled your mug turning yourself away from him. He could have sworn he saw something other than disdain in your face. Something was definitely off but he just couldn't tell what. Maybe it was just the light but he swore you looked paler.
Jonathan now had a large map sprawled on the ground. Nancy nearly trampled it as she passed. "Nance," Jonathan called out, shooing her from his map.
"Sorry," she offered hardly paying attention. She had a small notepad topped with a messy stack of papers in her arms.
"Y/n found sugar," Robin said around a full mouth.
"That's great." Nancy looked at her papers. "None of you happen to have a first aid kit would you?"
Steve shook his head, he saw you stiffen and quickly settle back down as Nancy began scribbling on her papers. "Guess we'll need at least one of those then," she said, mostly to herself.
"Are we leaving?" you asked, looking from Nancy to Robin to Jonathan, not to him.
"Guess you missed a few things while you slept in, cupcake." Steve said precisely because you weren't looking at him.
"Yes. We can't keep roughing it like this, not if we want to make it to Hawkins and not freeze to death." Nancy said, her look of determination firmly settled into her features. There was no negotiating now.
"I hope sleeping bags are on that list. Robin's teeth chattering isn't really the best lullaby." Steve gave her a lopsided smile, tipping the ends of his hair over his eyes. His smile fell when she clobbered him in the shoulder. His smile quickly resurfaced. "So you did learn something."
"We're leaving at first light tomorrow." Nancy paced around a makeshift table made from rotten boards. She bit the end of her pencil and Steve saw the lines forming between her brow. She was worried. He had to admit in the deepest parts of himself, he was too, but he'd be damned to let anyone find out.
Steve's eyes slid from Nancy to where you sat. You're steaming mug was forgotten in your hands. You looked out, past Nancy, past the tree line. He turned around, walking the other way, towards the barn. He couldn't do it. He couldn't afford to worry about you.
---
You sat up with a start. The wood beneath you creaked. The hayloft was never the most stable of structures but it kept you off the ground. It kept you safe. It was the one place where you could let your eyes shut without jerking them back open. And now you were supposed to leave. You all were.
The usual chorus of snoring and even breathing was absent this morning. You overslept again it would seem. The persistent ache at your side was lessening. It felt more like a bruise than a deep cut. It didn't even hurt as you lowered yourself down the ladder.
The end of the world could be so quiet. The birds hardly sang anymore. The golden morning was still. Too still. As you made your way outside there was no steam wafting into the air. The only proof of your camp was a bed of dead embers and cold forgotten coals.
They left. They finally left you behind.
You fell to your knees, the wet grass reaching up to catch you. It was all that was left. You were all that was left.
A stabbing pain caught your breath. You looked down to your side, the dull ache had given way to a burning fire. Blood seeped onto the ground. Suddenly you weren't outside anymore. You were in your living room kneeling on the floor as the blood pooled around you.
No light fell through the windows. Dust fluttered through the air, drifting down to the wet floor. They were gone, you lost them. You couldn't save them. You fell further onto the floor and you kept falling.
You gasped as you woke for the second time. For real this time. The light of the morning stung your eyes and your wound returned to the dull, biting ache, it had been.
You sat in a heap on the hayloft, not ready to go down. You couldn't risk it yet.
"Sweet dreams?" Steve sat at the other end of the hayloft. He was carving a block of wood with his pocket knife. You heard the soft clatter of shavings falling to the floor.
You looked away not trusting your voice just yet.
"Did something happen in the grocery store?"
Your eyes went wide until you recovered closing them and pinching the bridge of your nose. You couldn't let them know. They were leaving. They would leave you if they knew.
"I slipped on some cans," you lied, tugging on the ends of your hair. "Wicked bruise, but I'll be fine." The best lies were wrapped in truth, there was bruising around the stitches. You just hoped you were convincing enough.
Steve nodded slowly. He didn't look at you, just kept carving. "Jonathan has tylenol," he offered. After a moment of silence, he made his way to the latter.
"We're leaving with or without you two," Nancy yelled from the barn door. Steve smiled in a way that told you she wouldn't actually leave without you, or at least without him.
Steve clicked his knife shut. "After you sunshine."
---
Thanks so much for the kind response to this story. I plan to really up the ante and develop their relationship and the world a lot, so stick around for that. Drink some water, get enough sleep, and I'll see you next time <3
Steve Harrington apocalypse au - 1.8 k (part 2, part 3)
Hello love, if you're here strictly for marauders content stick around because there will certainly be more, but in the meantime welcome to the Steve Harrington apocalypse au that has haunted me for years. I was at a very impressionable age back when dystopian was all the rage so I eat this shit up. Also if you like this stuff then please go read @luveline 's zombie au or just anything she's written because she's a reason I started posting on tumblr in the first place.
warnings: general gore, rabid animals, wounds without too much detail
~
When you were a child, you used to run through the aisles in the grocery store. Brightly packaged chips and sodas a blur as you passed, hair whipping behind you. That is until you were quickly stopped by the disaproving looks of adults wondering who this rambunctious child belonged to.
Now as you run through the grocery aisles they're still a blur a dull blur of empty shelves. Your eyes search for a weapon anything that you could use to defend yourself. The dog was quick on your heels no matter how many times you turned or jumped over spilled carts. It certainly wouldn't tire before you.
Your sneakers slide across the tiled floor as you turn down another aisle. The front doors were on the other side, towards the dog. If it could even be called that anymore. Its flesh grew distorted over its muzzle, stretching to fit a shape that nature would never make on her own. The rest of them say demodog, like an alien, they said. This one still had a collar on. It was someone's pet fallen prey to the infection. If you didn't think of something soon that would be your fate.
Since the front door wasn't an option. You searched frantically for some kind of exit sign. The dog was gaining, you could smell the rotting on its breath. You whipped around the next aisle, pulling an end cap down behind you. It gave you one extra step. An extra second to find a way out. Then you found it, in the back corner was an emergency exit the sign a dead beacon of survival.
Then a snap of jaws and a tug at your backpack nearly pulled you backwards. Your breath caught in your throat. And visions of your gruesome death flashed through your mind. You slid your arms through the straps, adrenaline pushing you to run faster than even before.
You crashed through the heavy door, pushing it shut behind you. You pressed your weight against it. Your breath came tearing through your throat, not doing nearly enough to fill your lungs.
You had to go back inside. As much as it filled you with dread. You needed that bag, or at least what was left of it. Nancy would have your head if you spent the whole day to come back with less than you left with. Not to mention Steve would never let you hear the end of it. Maybe it would be the final push he needed to convince the rest of them to kick you out. Make you go it on your own, a death sentence for a backpack.
Chest still heaving you looked for a weapon. If you were going to risk it anyways you could at least put down the poor animal, maybe save the next sad shmuck to pillage the store.
A long metal peice of rebar sat next to the dumpster at your right. Spear it is then. The store was earily quiet as you returned inside. From the left the dog pounced, but this time you were ready, at least you hoped so. You ducked to your knees as the dog flew over head jumping higher than you thought possible. You turned on your heel, makeshift spear at the ready in front of you. You finally got a good look at the dog as it snarled in front of you. Foaming drool fell from its mouth and its claws left scratches in the tile.
In the dark patches of fur that were still left between bubbling flesh you could see the traces of a pet that used to be. This close you could see that the collar had flowers on its design. Traces were the only thing left of what the monster in front of you once was. It bared its teeth followed by an unatural clicking of its jaw as its muzzle split down the middle. Its face flayed into three brandishing old and new teeth ready all the same to tear you apart. Your stomach flipped as it raced forward again. Your only option was to go low and stay away from its mouth. Ducking again as the dog jumped you threw yourself down and thrust your makeshift spear up right into its chest. You prayed to whatever was left that you hit its heart.
The monster made a sharp screeching sound as it felt the spear. The force pushing you down further as the animal struggled. Its jaws snapped so close to your face you could feel the heat of its breath. Gathering your strength you pushed the metal spear up into the air pushing it further into the dog's chest. The tag on her collar read "Bella." Bella struggled above you and as you pushed the spear up she tried to force herself down to you. You felt the other end of your "spear" press into your side, as Bella thrashed the spear dug into your flesh burning as you did your best to slide out from under it. Bella was finally slowing as the spear kept digging. Hands shaking you finally pushed the spear to the side letting both it and Bella fall to the ground.
You caught your breath, now even more ragged than before. Pulling up your shirt you saw long red scratches you hadn't even noticed that Bella left behind. Luckily only a few broke skin, you hoped the infection didn't spread that way. The real problem was the blood quickly pouring down your side. Your breath caught as ran a hand around the wound. It was as long as your index finger. It would need stitches. Of course it would, just your luck.
Finally you left the store with a tshirt duct-taped to your side and a large black shirt covering it all under your jacket. Along with the meager amount of food you found in your backpack, like you, also sporting a duct-taped hole.
"You sure took your sweet time." Steve was leaning against an abandoned car in the parking lot.
"Missed me then?" You joked. You knew he didn't, he was just counting down the minutes until he could ditch you.
"Funny," he said, not smiling as he fell into step beside you and soon in front of you. He did that, walked in front, it usually pissed you off, but you didn't have it in you to care at the moment. "All that health nut food store had was oatmeal. I'm so tired of the shit if you ask me."
You debated whether or not to tell him about the dog, he wouldn't ask, instead, you said, "I got brown sugar." You think you might have seen a hint of a smile. Then again it may have just been a shadow.
--
Steve flinched at the sharp noise of a branch cracking under your step. He turned his head in time to see you pitch forward catching yourself on a nearby tree. "Okay, what's with you today?" He tried to keep his tone light, but after the third stumble, he'd started counting.
You looked at him wide eyed almost like you were surprised he'd spoken to you at all. "I'm fine," you all but croaked. "The sun's gonna set," you said, brushing him off as you continued forward. If you weren't going to tell him then he wasn't going to pry. Even if you were the reason, you'd be late heading back to camp. You took forever to leave the convenience store, and he couldn't work out why. It had basically all been picked over weeks ago.
Sometimes he thought he really should be friendlier to you, but maybe the end of the world took that out of him. You didn't know any of them not really. When everything went to shit you just fell into their hands. He still didn't know the whole story.
Nancy did her best to keep things fair, include everyone in the decision making but four was much easier to divide than five. He hated himself for thinking it but sometimes it would be easier to have one less mouth to feed. One less person to keep track of. Like now, he'd be back at camp already. Maybe he would have run, not to run from something as was so often the case, but just because it felt good. He always used to appreciate the way girls looked at him after a good run on the track.
Stumble number six turned into an actual fall. "Okay seriously what gives," he threw his hands out wide as he turned, "are you drunk or something?"
"Funny," you deadpanned, not looking at him, but instead staring resolutely at the ground. He watched closely as you stood, he saw the scrunch in your brow. You seemed tired, winded almost. "Camp's just over the hill, pretty boy," you said patting a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't call me that," he groaned. He kept pace behind you now, closer than he had been. Pretty boy was all you ever called him. As much as he hated it, he'd grown used to it and this time the name lacked its edge, you just sounded tired.
Jonathan had already started cooking by the time you arrived. "We waited as late as we could," he offered. You only gave him a soft smile trudging off to the log where Robin sat. Steve didn't even have time to drop his bag before Nancy was on him.
"Where the hell were you guys? We were about to go searching for you both."
"But after dinner," he teased giving her a smirk that he knew would only piss her off further.
She crossed her arms glaring at him. She softened when Jonathan came to stand next to her sliding a hand across her back. "We were just worried," he said.
"It was just a slow day. The sun's setting earlier." He left out that you were the reason things moved so slow.
"Ugh, I know, and it's going to get cold. We don't even have proper tents, or sleeping bags," Nancy went on, pulling her hands through her hair in her frustration.
"Don't spiral, we'll figure it out." Jonathan pulled her hands into his, squeezing them.
Steve let his bag fall to the forest floor, tired of its weight. "There's an outdoor supply store out in Creeley."
"That's hours away by car Steve," she opposed, but he could tell she was considering it.
"Seems like it's our only option, unless you want to sleep in a pile of oatmeal." He pulled two tubs out from his bag emphasizing his point. He was starting to get really tired of the stuff.
For some reason in the late hours of the night Steve found himself still thinking of your treck through the woods. He couldn't remember if you always stumbled that much but he was pretty sure something was off. You hardly said anything at dinner, not even any snide remarks thrown his way.
You never said no to anything Nancy asked of you, and you were always first to volunteer to do something in somebody's stead. Maybe they were working you too hard.
gender neutral depressed/ overstimulated reader on a rough morning
Some days you wake with the weight of the world pressing on your chest. It threatens to push you straight through your bed until you meet the cold ground. A hard stone that feels much more like home than a warm bed and golden sunlight you don't feel you deserve.
But then as you finally force focus into your eyes and firmly pull apart your lashes. The weight becomes almost bearable.
You can hear James cooking in the kitchen. He's humming some old song everyone knows and yet no one knows where it comes from. You hear the whirring of the coffee grinder. That would be Remus. He knows how everyone takes their coffee. Knows even that James prefers tea with his breakfast.
Then there's Sirius who seems to always run cold until he's asleep. Now as he lays his head on your chest you feel the warmth of him melting into you. It's a stark contrast to the cold depths of your mind. Thoughts that long to pull you under like sinking through cracking ice. But then you feel the soft puffs of his breath. Run a lazy hand through his sleep mussed hair.
He rouses despite being one of the heaviest sleepers in your lovingly shared home. His smile is lazy like he's pulling it straight from a dream.
"Let's just stay here," he says, his voice muffled by your shirt.
"I wish," you say. It comes out as more of a croak.
Sirius looks at you even half asleep he can still see right through you. He knows already that your mind is not being kind to you this morning. He pulls himself from sleep quicker than he usually would. You feel bad for it. Feel the guilt of your sour mood spilling over onto those you love. Sirius gently pulls you to the end of the bed.
He pulls one of Remus's sweaters over your head. It feels like a hug. One you can keep without asking and sounding desperate. Sirius then pulls your arms over the back of his shoulders. He makes a show of a struggle trying to make you laugh. It just makes you feel bad. "I can walk Siri," you say it doesn't sound half as endearing as you meant it to.
"And why should you have to do that?" James comes into the room like the sun. He plants a lovingly familiar kiss onto Sirius's lips as he passes. Then before you know it he's hoisting you at the waist pulling you into a crushing yet somehow gentle hug. You melt into him wordlessly. Eyes watery as you wrap your arms around his neck one hand brushing the hair at the nape of his neck. "Rough morning?" he asks though it's clear he already knows.
"I'll be fine," you say as he slides you back to the ground.
"We'll make sure of it," James says softly, like a promise.
When you sit at the kitchen table courtesy of James’s gentle guidance you feel like a storm cloud hovering over the table. Dark skies that are meant to swallow every bit of sun in its wake.
Remus presses a kiss to the top of your head as he sets a warm mug in front of you. "I just got off the phone with Lily," Remus says as he returns to the kitchen. You see Sirius sitting on the counter picking bites off whatever it is James cooks at the stove. "She invited us out," he sets three more mugs down at the table. "She said the weather is meant to be lovely," you look through a nearby window. The sun is bright, and you can see a breeze rustling in the trees, swaying the grass.
"What did you say?" Sirius glances at you as he asks. You pretend not to notice. You're already trying to pull yourself together, trying to not seem like a total drag and get ready for a day of offering half empty smiles that you wish were full.
“I asked to go another time. I think we’re all a bit tired,” Remus answers. You see Sirius nod and you bite your lip with guilt. It’s because of you. Sirius must have said something. “And my hip has been killing me this morning.” At that you quickly come to stand at the counter.
“Go sit Rem, I can do this,” you say every ounce of your care for him pressed through the words. Though you still don’t sound quite like yourself this is closer.
“It’ll just take a second,” he says, reaching for the plates.
“Exactly,” you say reaching past him, which is hard accounting for how long he is. You gently push his hand away. “Take some medicine,” you say because you know he hasn’t. You hear the shake of the medicine bottle behind your head as James hands it over. You’re a well-practiced dance, the four of you, knowing exactly how to care for each other, even if you sometimes forget how to let them take care of you.
You still feel like you’re moving through thick sludge as you set the table, but when you hear the click Remus’s hip gives as he sits, you’re sure you made the right decision. Sirius nudges you back to your seat once you try to help further. James and Sirius lay out a proper breakfast. You hardly realize that you’ve been sitting wide eyed staring at nothing until James shovels food onto your plate.
“Are you still going to the gym?” you ask, looking at James trying not to give yourself away. Days like this make it harder for you to be apart from any of your boyfriends as guilty as you feel for it. You wouldn’t tell any of them either way.
“It’s a rest day,” he says around a mouthful of eggs. You’re fairly certain that was yesterday but you don’t argue. You don’t have it in you.
The rest of breakfast is a blurry stretch of time. The boys talk and you listen. It’s a comforting sound, like rain falling. After a while Sirius pulls you and Remus gently from the table. “You heard Prongs, my loves, today is a rest day,” he says with a stern look that doesn’t meet the glint of a smile in his eyes.
In your small living room, the curtains are drawn dampening the bright weather into a soft glow. Sirius and James make quick work of tucking the two of you into the plush seats of the couch with enough blankets for a small family.
You look at your small family and despite the dread that still swirls in the back of your mind, contentment swims to the forefront. You know you are loved. You know it even more as time passes. James and Sirius turn on a movie that you’ve all seen too many times, and you settle further into the cushions. You fall asleep to the soft sounds of the movie mixed with the occasional flip of a book page from Remus. The weight of the world is still there but for now you can keep it away, just outside the door, and you know when it comes it’s not your burden to bear it all alone.
A/N: long time no see. I can't believe it's been a whole month since I posted last. I want to post more frequently than that so if you have any ideas or requests send them my way. It makes me very happy to hear from you guys.
warnings: patching up bruised knuckles very pg allusions to violence
a/n Times are tough so please enjoy a sleepy drabble with a slightly whimsical reader who will always defend her boyfriends
“Hello gorgeous, where’ve you been?” James asked as you came into the boys’ dorm. It wasn’t like you to be so late, unless of course a portrait got to talking. You could never turn down a good story, no matter how many times you heard it.
“Detention,” you said. This garnered the attention of all three of your boyfriends. Remus set down his book, he had been trying to read instead of worrying about you, and Sirius ceased spinning his wand in his hand. James sat up from where he was laying on his bed. Oblivious to their shock you dropped your bag onto the floor.
“Detention?” James asked at the same time Sirius said “You’re joking.”
“Yeah,” you said, sounding almost as confused as they were.
“May we ask why?” said Remus abandoning his book.
“Well Barty said that black cats were bad luck, which is rather rude.” You fell onto Remus’s unmade bed, arms flopping on either side of you.
“And how did that turn into detention for you?” Sirius asked as patient as could be, a trait reserved almost especially for you.
You rolled onto your stomach yawning as you rested your chin on your hand. “I told him that was hardly true but he wouldn’t give it up.” You were interrupted with another yawn. “Then he said the worst bad luck was black dogs. You could never be bad luck, Siri.”
Sirius could pretty much feel himself melting. James, as endearing as you were, was practically on the edge of his seat ready to find out what on earth their sweet girl could do to warrant detention. Remus was getting tired just looking at you and he had to fight the urge to join you where you lay.
“Well then he started talking about werewolves and of course he had nothing nice to say and he was looking right at me, so I punched him.” Just like before you were completely oblivious to the shock your statement caused.
“You punched him?” Remus asked, and despite your tired eyes being closed you could hear the smile in his voice. The boys shared a conspiratorially prideful look.
“He wasn’t mad. I think he thought it was funny.”
“Sounds like he had it coming,” Sirius said, fully in agreement.
“Professor Slughorn was mad though,” you mused.
“Merlin, what I would have given to see his face.” James laughed at just the thought.
“I bet he went red head to toe,” Sirius added. You smiled in tired amusement. The sound of their laughs made your chest buzz, warm and full.
“Punching people hurts,” you said looking down at your hand.
The energy of the room shifted as the amusement died down. Remus was already making his way to you, pulling your hand into his lap as he sat on the bed next to you. You didn’t fight him. He tsked at the sight of your knuckles and your fingers were dry and cracked. He turned them over in his hands ever so gently.
“Slughorn made me wash all of the potion bottles,” you offered in explanation.
James wordlessly pulled a small first aid kit from Remus’s nightstand, while Sirius grabbed a set of pajamas they kept for you. Caring for eachother was a well practiced routine. It was an achingly good feeling to be taken care of.
Remus spread dittany over your knuckles and any deep cracks, careful never to press too hard. James pulled off your shoes, and Sirius turned down the lights grumbling softly to himself when James reminded him of an early morning quidditch match.
“You can sleep with me then,” Remus whispered loudly, teasing as he softly wrapped a bandage over your knuckles.
“Now this is just torturous,” Sirius groaned from his bed. James threw a pillow at him across the room. “I’m keeping this.”
After some coaxing from Remus, you summoned enough willpower to stand and change into your pajamas. From across the room, you saw James dive into bed with Sirius who held the pillow above his head. James pinched at Sirius's waist earning a withering look from him that quickly dissolved into lazy smiling kisses.
Finally you were lying in bed with your head on Remus’s chest. You could hear his heartbeat thump beneath you, the steady rhythm and warmth lulling you to sleep better than any lullaby. You weren’t helped by the slow circles he drew into your back.
“Thanks for defending me, brave girl,” Remus said into your hair.
Fighting a yawn you said, “you would have done the same for me.”
He would have done worse for you, and he would spend the rest of everyday grateful for the love he’s found.
