I am THE Toxic Friend

Ok tbh the whole toxic friend thingie was a dumb joke that I don’t rlly identify w anymore but I don’t wanna change all the shit

[nessa007]

[headinthegrave]

✌🏻😊✌🏻

[simonsquared]

An Evening in Possum Springs

[teenjournalist]

Candy dealers are creating "sugarbombs", tiny little bonbons containing 500 times the sugar content of a gumdrop, and they're hitting the streets

[cvt-n-sl4sh]

girl what 😭

[anticensorshipsideblog]

how old must we be before we are allowed to think about sex, i can never remember, they keep moving the goal posts.

[craycraybluejay]

We're never allowed to think ab sex sorry. Teen years are hormonal but being horny before 18 is a sin. When you're horny and 18-25 its cringe. When you're horny 25-35 "you should get a partner and stop being openly horny." When you're horny 35-45 that's weird because you're "kinda old." When you're horny 45-55 you're a creep. And when you're horny 55+ you're an old person who can't and shouldn't be horny. This is how they think. Sex bad, basically. Thinking about sex is bad. Wanting sex is bad. Anything even mildly related to sex or sexuality is bad.

[plasmalogical]

[caesarsaladinn]

every morning i wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made

[umbrellas-and-raincoats]

[centrally-unplanned]

Starving to death this morning because ive been to the new local cafe twice this week already and if i go a third time ill look desperate.

[centrally-unplanned]

Me: I like the goods and/or services you offer in exchange for my money

The cafe, in my head: lmao cringe, kill yrself buddy

[centrally-unplanned]

The endlessly wailing siren of my social anxiety issues is probably not going to be silenced by the people in the comments pointing out that being a regular at a restaurant is a normal thing for people to be, but I do zero-sarcasm appreciate the attempt, is very kind!

[rustingbridges]

I used to walk into [redacted nonpizza store] in my area and the guy behind the counter would immediately ask me if I wanted a pizza. truly I experienced the mortifying ordeal of being known as the pizza guy

compared to that being a regular at a normal cafe ordering normal breakfast items would be a real relief

[centrally-unplanned]

Literally dread this scenario, to have your identity *reduced down* to a single item order, to be known as such a plebian with such a restricted palette that your order can be charted in advance, oh widdle ash wants his chicken tendies uwu.

I agree having a set breakfast order is more socially acceptable than a set pizza order. But its not enough; its never enough.

Though life update: i did just go to the cafe in the end. I compromised with my anxiety by ordering a sandwich instead of my typical bagel. It was fine but not as good.

[athingbynatureprodigal]

on the flipside, we went to the same place for brunch a couple years, one time my buddy orders something new, and while he’s eating five different members of the wait staff stopped by to be like “did they bring you the wrong thing?”

[centrally-unplanned]

This thread needs a trigger warning keep the horror stories coming

[zoobus]

There was a bakeshop near my house that made soft ginger cookies and and macarons but only 2-3 good flavors. I walked in once and the cashier (who I definitely didn’t recognize) said “let me guess - ginger cookies and cookies-n-cream macarons, right?”

Needless to say, I never returned.

[ranma-official]

I once went to a McDonald’s, the cashier said “big mac combo meal and a chicken burger, right?” and I said “yeah” and then didn’t come back for two years

[eikotheblue]

This entire genre of concern so fascinatingly foreign to me! the cafeteria pizza guy knows I want 3 slices of whatever veggie pizza he has, and he will have them ready for me without me having to say anything besides a quick murmured thanks, and he smiles when he sees me and starts to grab them, and it feels so good! to be known, even a little bit, to be a small constant in someone else’s life… there’s just something so beautiful and precious and good in that, for me.

[aurpiment]

When I lived in [the city where I lived for undergrad] there was this place very close to my house with cheap and delicious lamb curry and the people at the counter knew my face and would start scooping the lamb curry into a bowl when they saw me come through the door. I thought this was lovely of them and always made sure to tip generously. Restaurant and regular is a mutually beneficial relationship.

[st-just]

Yeah there’s a bakery/cafe a few doors down from me and reaching the point where they a) remember my face/name and b) know my regular order meant that I can no longer get breakfast anywhere else ever.

[collapsedsquid]

Had the guy at the taco truck I routinely went to for lunch who asked me after a few years if I only ate burritos or something, no man I’m just don’t see the need to mix up my lunches.

[fatsexybitch]

As someone who’s been both front and back of house in various large and small food services: regulars account for roughly 40% of sales and thier consistency makes it easier to order supplies and keep stock levels stable.

As front of house my regulars were always a welcome sight, an easy serve and clear, a guaranteed a happy customer and pleasant interaction. Especially in diners or lunch spots where reliable turnover = tips and most people never come in more than once, having a familiar face who’s rhythms and tastes you recall makes the rest of your service work easier.

If you have any anxiety about being a regular somewhere just be sure to tip well, and you will magically transform from ‘pizza guy’ or ‘lamb curry dude’ to Beloved Favorite Regular and the servers will squabble to get you seated in thier section.

[haveyoutriedrebootingit]

When I worked for Domino’s Pizza, there was a guy who ordered a pizza, without fail, on Thursday at 6pm. Until the day he didn’t.

One of our drivers was delivering nearby and decided to check on the guy. Turns out the guy got home, got most of the way through the door, and lost consciousness. (If memory serves, it was a diabetic episode.) Driver couldn’t revive him and called 911. Saved the guy’s life.

[dragongirltitties]

when i worked in a remote office when i started my job, i went to denny’s for lunch enough that i’d just walk in and a server would go “take a seat over there, I’ll be over with your iced tea to take your order in a moment”

[anarchapella]

Food service workers love their regulars, especially if you’re a good tipper and are polite, we literally look forward to seeing you every day. Also service workers don’t care if you order the same thing, and us remembering your order means we like you.

[blackwoolncrown]

^^^^

Also no we aren’t “boiling your personality down to an item/order”, you are. We are offering you preference recall and welcoming you and your *presence* does in fact correspond to our need to give you a certain order. It’s okay for that to happen.

[thesanityclause]

For all my fellow social anxiety sufferers out there. Because my local coffee shop knows I always get iced coffee or a mocha and a biscotti and it stresses me the fuck out because I’m like “What if they think my order is dumb?? What if they’re like there she goes again stuffing her face with biscottis all the time” but nothing matters and a biscotti with your coffee in the morning really makes all the difference in what kinda day you’re gonna have.

[itscaravel]

i used to live near a really good bagel place, and every Tuesday without fail i would go in and order the exact same thing. eventually, i would be able to walk in, not even say anything, just grab the juice i bought every day and bring it to the counter and my order would already be in the works. once i had trouble finding my wallet and they just let me eat free. even as i slowly transitioned from male to female they still recognized me and still treated me with the same quiet kindness as they always did.

i miss that place lmao

[dduane]

Can’t help but think of the much-missed Big Nick’s Burger and Pizza Joint at 77th and Broadway: 23-hour service (24-hour if you kept your head down and ate/drank and were quiet: they’d just close for an hour and clean up around you). 24-hour breakfast. The best burgers and pizza (and Greek food, as Big Nick was Greek [and a former Olympian to boot]). A 23-page menu (see it here. You won’t believe it. I still don’t understand how they produced all that good food out of their little cellar kitchen. Wizardry of one kind or another was certainly involved).

One of the first times @petermorwood and I were in, we’d arrived (as usual) on a red-eye and crashed early due to the jetlag, then (also as usual) woke up in the middle of the night, starving. Staggered out of the hotel and across Broadway into Nick’s (me in a new fake-chinchilla coat that was wonderfully soft and very warm but made me look like a linebacker). Peter was in the mood for something Greek, and got the lamb kebab with the tsatsiki and pilaf. I had one of those gigantic burgers they specialized in. Peter spotted retsina on the menu and said, “Hey, yeah, we haven’t had that since [the SCBWI conference in] Hydra…!” …No argument from me: I like it too, if it’s not too resinated.

We ate and drank and ate some more and drank some more (we were there for some hours and killed two bottles of that retsina, it was unusually good…): then, as the dawn was breaking, made our way out to go crash again for a few hours and start working our way into East Coast time so we could get business done.

The next time we got back to NY (a year later? Two perhaps? It was summertime, anyway…) we turned up for lunch about halfway through the visit, and the guy at the front pizza oven turned around and called to one of the other staff, “Hey, it’s Grey Fur Lady and Retsina Guy!” And were instantly made welcome as if we’d only been gone a few hours.

(And when Peter asked Big Nick, later, about the sobriquets: Nick just kind of grinned and said, “They told me you were easy to take care of. You tipped nicely. …And you two drank two bottles of retsina and didn’t trash the joint.”)

Ah, memories. It’s a pity Nick’s is gone. But it’s not really dead as long as we remember it… and the good staff who made it go.

[bellamuertes]

[cowboypsyop]

[thickness-protection-program]

[bowserwife]

Someone: Sheesh that's a lot of cigarettes

Me: Well *smiles warmly and rests my hand on my tummy* I am smoking for two right now ☺

[l3iii-deactivated20241027]

So I’m guessing we’re all growing old with each other on tumblr.

[hopefulmisanthrope]

Old friends senior blog sanctuary

[starkwillendurestone]

I just want to get dicked down again =/

[marcitlali]

[quinoaphoenicks]

me after smoking half a bowl and drinking one bourbon on a weeknight

[marcitlali]

me after taking Yak tranquilizers in a berlin warehouse

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

you need to change your life styles or you might pass away .

[paxamericana]

[majortomiscominghome]

[cashiers-czech-hunter]

The first (and only time) I tried Salvia I was sitting on a big leather couch about 3 feet in front of a giant TV that had Planet Earth playing in HD. After I took a hit, I thought I melted into the couch, and then saw the icebergs that were showing on TV turn into jellyfish and come out of the TV and start attaching to my body. Tried to walk upstairs to my room to go lay down and then halfway up I forgot how to walk upstairs and just stood there for about 10 minutes. 

That shit is wild. 

[troubleincorporated]

in honor of season 3 of game changer airing, i’ve clipped brennan’s fully buckwild monologue from the final episode of season 2

[magical-awesome-kid]

This whole episode is amazing because you watch Brenan, who has arguably won the most games of any College Humor cast member and is quite intelligent, lose his fucking mind as he fails to guess “yes or no” correctly to every question. It gets funnier as Zac and Ally got crowns for figuring the game out first.

And, yes, the premise of the game was “guess yes or no and if you’re answer matches Brenan, you’re wrong because Brenan can not win.”

[bajablast666]

[tlirsgender]

The two animals closest related to us are chimpanzees and bonobos which is really funny because as we know chimpanzees love violence but lesser known is how bonobos are just straight chillin. Bonobos just want to eat fruit and have sex. Like it's well documented that those monkeys are fucking as like a bonding activity. These are the two ends of the ape spectrum

[tlirsgender]

To be clear you should not try to provoke an ape attack in any situation but chimps are like... See here's the thing. They're like dolphins in that they're intelligent enough to know what they're doing. And they're what happens if you take absolute primal animal rage and give it hands. You think teeth and claws are scary but I'd prefer that over the medieval torture type of shit a chimp will do to you. A chimp will tear you asunder. As far as I know this is not as common of an occurrence for a bonobo

[tlirsgender]

Bonobos are also intelligent enough to know what they're doing and they just fuck each other constantly. Bonobos are hippies. If bonobos discovered fire they'd invent the weed circle. Chimps would commit arson

[tortilla-of-courage]

WE GOT THE BOX ART LET'S GO