A Blog About Nothing @thetwelfthofnever - Tumblr Blog

05.16.26

May 2026

Work is crazy, we are 12 weeks away from transition to Impact. No more Zoom contact center though luckily. Dad got his right hip replaced. Mom is on her meds, lots of upcoming referrals. They have Brenda the caregiver now. They have house cleaners. Dad has in home PT. I need to work on finding my self again, make a schedule that creates joy instead of just surviving off my minutes of downtime.

April 2026

March 2026

Weight updates:

SW 317 / BMI 49.6

CW 247 / BMI 38.7

GW 150 / BMI 23.5 or 160 / BMI 25.1

February 2026 recap

Finished the month off strong weighing 250.4! More stressed than ever about my parents. Been under performing at work. Marriage is good. Therapy is good. Things are okay and the sun has been peeking out a bit more.

RIP Fleeka 💔

01.30.2026

This week I weighed in at 256.2- I looked back at my logged weights in my fitness pal and I haven’t weighed this light since 2018. That year I promptly ended a diet and went from 237 to 270 between like march and July. Idk exactly what happened during that time that caused this, but I’m glad I documented it. That was the first year we lived together. That was also the year I found out grandma was sick. And we put down Oso. I guess I did a good amount of growing up that year.

I see memories pop up on Snapchat from 2017 when I weighed 215. I’m excited to have that body again, to fit in my places, to travel more comfortably, to hopefully one day have my perception of my body actually match my physical body. I’ve been feeling so tiny lately! It’s a nice feeling. Also, constantly reminding myself that I weigh more than I did when I started my 2016 diet. I thought I was so huge then. Eesh. I guess I was but now I’m bigger lol. My brain is trying to catch up.

January 2026

Currently healing from burn out ❤️‍🩹

V and I are doing well- in our last couples session we discussed my role in my family/burn out and how that affects our marriage. And what next steps I want to take with my family.

The cats are fine- gonna be 7 in April 🥺. We decided after Jackie and Ava pass away we aren’t going to have other pets. It’s too much. We love them now and we will always love them, but we don’t really want the responsibility forever.

I haven’t seen my parents in a few weeks. I don’t really know much about how they’re doing because they don’t call or text me really. Last week my dad called once though- he told me that Auntie Gerri got diagnosed with cancer and it’s terminal. She starts chemo Wednesday Jan 21, 2026. I sent her a message on instagram telling her I love her.

My job is fine. I’m getting behind with training plan calendar, but I think we can gain some ground this week. It’s whatever.

I completed my Labubu collection V1-V4. I am still finding new figurines that I like as well as Labubu accessories but I’m def slowing down. I’ve been trying hard not to touch my credit card at all. I’m doing better, but still not 100%. I’m planning on selling at the flea market soon to unload a bunch of my blindbox mistakes lmao. Plus I have a ton of clothes and household things to get rid of.

I was stuck and feeling like I’d plateaued with my weight. I’ve been thinking more about my protein AND fiber. I’m already down a pound since I added a touch of mindfulness back into my diet. Today I weighed in at 257.4 - just about 60 pounds down since March 2025! I’m injecting 45 units on Saturdays. 60 whole pounds I can’t believe it. Currently wearing a 16 in torrid jeans, 38DDD bra, 1X Nike sports bra, XL leggings from Gap and a 1 in torrid tops. My grandma’s wedding rings stopped fitting me last Fall- pretty sad about that tbh.

My 2026 goals:

1. Continue losing weight slowly

2. Work on my credit card debt, def don’t add to it

3. Work on shot with my family - keep boundaries AND discuss it with them

4. Work on my burnout - be more present for V

December 2025

I’ve been weighing 259-261 for this whole month. Hopefully this isn’t a plateau because I don’t have the energy to change my life again right now

So burnt out.

11.11.25

I weighed in at 266.8 today! Officially down 51lbs since March 2025.

11.6.25 11:34p

No help is coming. No sibling to switch off with, no spouse to drop off supplies, no dad to take a shift. No help is coming.

In other news, I am currently fitting into a torrid bombshell straight pair of jeans in a size 16. I’m weighing 270.2 last I checked. I’m feeling good doing the 30 unit injections. I might stay on 30 tbh.

This month has already been so hard. Work is stressful with 9 trainees. Every day at work gets away from me, I feel minimally productive.

Dad is in so much pain. David is in so much turmoil, grieving Brian too. Mom is in such poor health and grieving. Audrey is depressed and absent. Fran is depressed and broken hearted. Matt is depressed and grieving Gannon. Velman is tired from work.

I feel so alone

10.24.25

I’ve been injecting 23-25 units of tirzepitide weekly. Tomorrow I’m upping to 30 units! I’ve been weighing 275-276 for a couple weeks now I’m hoping I start losing again soon- I’m grateful to have been able to at least maintain with all the stress, vacation and more stress.

Grandma Martinez died 09/19/2025. Same day as Grandma Marsico, remarkably. I took mom to Denver - we stayed in the hotel room and watched the funeral on Yvette’s livestream. We spent a lot of time with Yvette, uncle frank and his wife Artemisa. I shopped and mom slept during downtime. I lost my patience with mom when she was talkative. I regret that.

Then V and I took off to Vegas for his bday week. More Labubu’s, Nike and a whole lot of lovin’.

Ive been back to work for two weeks and I think im getting sick. My acne has been raging for about a month now and I need a break. Like an actual break. I’m so stressed about mom’s health, my weight, my credit card, V and the cats, the state of the world, everything. Yesterday in couples session he said he doesn’t want more pets after Jack and Ava. I cried. I get it and it hurts.

9.10.25

August was one long blur full of work, Labubu’s and financial anxiety.

I’ve been on tirzepitide all month- currently in the high 270’s 😌 fitting into XL Old Navy active and size 20 torrid jeans. Plus my shoes are fitting better but my rings are loosening.

July 23, 2025

Today is mom and dad’s 42nd wedding anniversary. Also me, V and mom just got back from our Denver trip to visit grandma. Today I met my group therapy ladies in person. This has been a good week.

Weighing in at 282/283 this week. I took my last dose of semaglutide on Saturday July 19, 2025. Today I got my brello order confirmed! I’ll be starting tirzepatide once it comes in the mail.

07.01.2025

Today is mom’s birthday- I had the day off and drove her around until she got tired. I’m so grateful to have days like this with her still.

In other news, this week I have been weighing 288/287! Officially at that -30lb mark. I’m gonna start to need new jeans and bras soon- yay.

Also, my iud was hurting after sex last week. Got it checked and all was well- the pain has subsided since. I have an ultrasound coming up in August just to make sure.

5.25.25

I’ve been spotting pretty consistently since getting the IUD. It’s really tapering off though which is nice. I also struggled with heavy amounts of discharge those first two weeks. Like a pad’s worth of discharge at a time, it was wild. I felt the strings in an annoying way for the first 2 weeks, but I really haven’t felt them in a week or so. We had sex and V said he had less feeling at the tip- I have no idea how that is possible but that what he said. He wasn’t poked or anything and I didn’t feel anything different, a huge relief for me. I think I’m settled on keeping this thing.

I also want to note that my face has been pretty darn breakout free. I was worried it would cause acne, but I’m pretty sure it’s not. I’d been having a majority clear skin and no major breakouts since February when I started occasionally washing my face with Head & Shoulders. I would still get a neck or chin pimple- one of the deep painful itchy ones that last 2 weeks. But only during my PMS week. Now that I’m off the pill I haven’t had any deep pimples, only tiny surface ones of at all. And blackheads of course. But wow my skin is looking so much better than it has in decades.

Im now putting a pregnancy text on the books for every 4 weeks, just to be safe. My nipples were sore yesterday for no reason …. Of course my mind went there. I guess I’m just going to be haunted by the fear of pregnancy until I start menopause. Idk if I have it in me to get my tubes removed. And idk if V has it in him to get a vasectomy.

IUD STUFF

05.04.25 I started my period

05.05.25 IUD Day 1

12:30pm time of procedure: there were three instances of extreme pain during procedure with numbing. There was heavy cramping and bloated feeling for hours after. Was given 600mg ibuprofen. Was rolling around in bed, could not get comfortable. Pain and cramping was on the left side.

4pm applied heating pad (which really helped). Was hungry for lunch and tried to eat a salad but was o unable to take a few bites before I had too much cramping and pain. Was able to nap for a couple hours after.

7pm woke up and ate some more salad. Couldn’t finish half of it though. Spent time with the cats and then went back to bed and doom scrolled. Still had discomfort but heating pad really took the edge off.

11pm went to bed with the heating pad still on. At some point overnight I took the pad off and still slept. I took another 600mg ibuprofen.

05.06.25 Day 2 - woke up and had mild cramping. I put on heating pad and took it easy all morning. I ate breakfast and read the rest of the Good Earth. Then I felt well enough to run errands. During errands I had mild/ medium cramping at times. I breathed through it and was fine. Got home and was exhausted. I put away groceries and watched a movie. Then I went upstairs and cleaned my office for hours until I went to bed.

05.07.25 Day 3- I came to work today. My period went away today, still have slight cramping for short periods of time while at work, but nothing bad enough to do anything about it. Idk how much more painful a tubal ligation would be, but if it’s worse than an IUD it’s not happening. 🙅‍♀️

04.29.25

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

A Blog About Nothing