the ugliest crier

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

note to self.

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

sparkling water

‘get tea, go dancing’ no falling in love

a little something rash

there is no agenda.

at home, alone, to dress down 

finger, flick, camera, wait

admire instead the hopefuls you’ll 

someday send because

body looks good 

wait,

‘get tea, go dancing’ no falling in love.

now. this isn’t but 

who talked to me about limerence? 

this isn’t, but

seemingly all the right thoughts 

come

space. full up with ‘what about’?

what about this 

away narrative? 

what was that about

image? 

what about living in lower case,

an academic.

what about, do you like This song? 

always. runaway train (car)

daydream musings,

self proclaimed fittest

muscle.

recently. 405 driving 

suddenly. on museum glass

and what about picture

frames?

How did those work out?

funny timing. 

‘get tea, go dancing’ no falling in love

we haven’t even talked about 

blushing 

and how I wonder if it’s the most 

romantic thing.

table some other wonders. 

time for a drink, subtle.

time for a drink, not still.

play 

on some words all you 

want.

parched. 

[theugliestcrier]

embraced

[theugliestcrier]

The chance encounter

blushing in the car

because today he's a 10

to text me.

far away notes from LA to PA

for my eyes only

upstairs and all of these

simplified come Ons,

a plus decade

and we're still where we met

in the most honest place.

The chance encounter,

spending my youth

in basement booths,

perfume for rich dudes,

rarely kissing.

start, stop, fast forward and replay

fairy tale forest fires

and tears in our film

that we never try to fix

Do you ever think about

Topanga?

All that wine before

or 25th St, hotel window

36th floor

heart skipping

tripping, Lovers of Today

bottles strewn

dining room

blow bedsides

the perpetual 8, 9

ride

What is 10 now?

Do you ever come

To New York?

Have you come

without telling me?

Did you think about telling me, though?

I think about

Past Lives -

Had to be.

Next one?

I wish you'd at least

acknowledged my May pain.

given up on upstairs

I’ll still bring you up

when they ask

where my heart has been

"I was in something with him."

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

Allergy Medicine

It's still Baby Magic Lotion

But no bar soap in the shower

A year and change

Can't overstate

The peace to sleep beside my niece

I don't smoke reds anymore

I just show up

It's good girl giving

Happy Birthday

Make Amends

A weekend that is, for

Crystals yes and precipice

The solstice

But there's no full moon

Out in place, but here, in time

This is visiting

[theugliestcrier]

[theugliestcrier]

surf break

[theugliestcrier]

Domino Park

Pot calls kettle black

in both directions,

tilt to pour

reflection expertise.

Have the cake and eat it multi-

tudes.

in between

know what I'm doing

know not what you want

death by a thousand -

press in the clutch.

Domino meet me on another park bench to

make what you want what you see.

Tell me the endgame and I'll

Tell you if it,s working

I can tell you

how you're pacing

Like that hometown basketball

Tell me the endgame and I'll

Show you hometown racing

Flirt and fuck but underneath

it's paper bags

with grocery walls

Call back, two things can be -

a sweet surprise in 24

Thoughts drift to cigarettes but

I don't do that anymore

and I don't think I'll honeymoon.

The sighs collective,

sweet relief

To wrap it -

And act your -

It,ll be, call back, nice while -

Breathe.

"It's probably this"

[theugliestcrier]

Close Only Counts

I think the writing,s on the wall

Like the first lines of the black dog

Is that dramatic? Words and music?

No. but this is,

they said, don't.

I've been thinking about

majority house rules

What is majority house

Between two drunks

Just trying to

Be well

Offer support and nothing more

Because she's proven more,s unsafe.

But a dry life also finds

You numb space

Some dumb space

To compartment, for a fuck

Sake and 'how interesting'

(Oh, fuck, fake.)

How interesting. Please.

At the same time we see

and we know.

Compact disc play her

with gallery gems on

Chinatown accent walls and

Make them fall. We sigh.

Horseshoes and hand grenades

When I think of us I'll think nice while it lasted

An expiration date set before

Our first date

Many months ago now

And we (are) joke.

It'll be it was nice while it lasted.

Sometimes nothing is wilder than

The honest approach.

And sometimes nothing is sadder than

Almost.

Not all the way is no way, to fall

In love.

Close only counts

You'd think lesson learned

After so many discarded intuition alarms

Prior,

But watch her second guess

Watch her question

Watch her second guess

Watch her question.

Safety in that stomach feeling, this time

Lesson learned - ish.

At the end of the day it is gratitude

And a friendship hope

Which was where this started

don't let 'what does he think' drive, this time.

Trust.

[theugliestcrier]