I'm not the good brother

Lord Damon Salvatore of House Salvatore We Draw First Blood

[theunworthyheir]

Wine and ghosts | Catelyn and Damon

[etsorortace-deactivated20160120]

The siege of Casterly Rock and death of Ruby had taken its toll on everyone; the people of the camp, now in rooms that filled the castle of the Lannisters were sullen, struck with misery. They moped the hallways and drank until the passed out. But they were still out, unlike a few. Catelyn had definitely noticed the absence of Damon Salvatore, Robb had asked about him multiple times. But no one seemed to be able to get him to come out of the solar he had taken too. Now it was her turn to try, Robb had asked her to see if he could talk to Damon, try to get him to at least see daylight.

Catelyn agreed to do so and as she made the walk to the solar she wondered what she could say to him. Words would not bring her back, nothing could. There wasn’t a guard at the door of the solar so Catelyn took it upon herself to open the door. It was dark, not like the room should be. And she could smell the dirt and wine. With her hands clasped in front of her, her blue eyes landed on the form of Damon, who was slumped in a chair with a wine goblet in his hand. He was dirty, from the battle and it was definitely potent in the air. Relaxing her form she walked towards him, but kept her distance for he was a man in mourning. “Damon…”

Catelyn rarely used his first name, but she knew in this time he didn’t need her to be a Lady of the Stark House. He needed her to be a friend. 

[theunworthyheir]

Damon looked up at the sound of his name and he could not stop the bitter smile that grew on his lips at the sight of her. He had not expected Catelyn Stark to come and visit him, Robb perhaps but not Lady Catelyn, although that was only because Damon had wanted to throw a bottle of wine at Robb's head. The waste of wine would have been worth it. "Lady Stark," he rose clumsily to his feet. "I apologise, I'm not really in any state to entertain."

After his own mother's death, Lady Catelyn had been somewhat of a surrogate mother for the Salvatore children, she had been kind but there was a sternness in her, she was a lady after all. Family, Duty, Honor. It probably wasn't Damon's duty to be getting blistered drunk, perhaps Lady Catelyn wished to remind him of that.

He reached for a bottle of wine on his table, gave it a small shake before laughing. "I'd offer you a drink, but it seems I've ran out again."

[theunworthyheir]

No regrets | Arya & Damon

The Starks were against him now, that was what the voice whispered to him whenever he closed his eyes. Those who had been like family to him in all but blood, he could no longer trust them, should he hate them? Should they hate him? Robb and Jon... Robb had betrayed him, true enough and Jon... he wasn't truly a Stark anyhow.

Damon rubbed his forehead, he'd drank too much and now his head was hammering, whispering doubts he did not want to hear. The Starks. The damn Starks. But wasn't all of them, he had to tell himself. Lady Catelyn had proved herself loyal to him and he had always cared for the children. Arya, Bran and Rickon, sweet children with the wildness of the North in the veins, just as it was for Damon.

Arya had always reminded him so of Faye. He hadn't always been such a good brother to her, he scared and teased her when he was a boy and had grown stubborn and arrogant into adulthood, he was no good brother, no good man, after all, he had ruined Ruby so. He put is head in his hands at the thought of her and groaned. She wouldn't abide him in this state, she'd slap some good sense into him, she would know what to say. And Ruby had been a Stark and he could not hate any part of Ruby.

He drained the last of the ale in his cup before slamming it against the table with a thud. The alcohol had dulled him so that it took him a while to notice that the young Stark girl was sat opposite him on the bench. "Arya," was all he managed to mumble.

[thesecondcrow-blog]

lords salvatore / a discussion

Giving his shield a once over now it was polished and shining, Stefan set it aside and drew a bit of parchment to him. His quill hovered over the paper, but the words he wished to write to Faye would not come. He missed her dearly, the feeing tagging along with the lingering despair over Ruby and Daniel both. Stefan rested his chin on his hand, but wrote nothing after another stretch of silence. He sighed, glancing over his shoulder at the door. Damon was due to arrive at any moment, and Stefan had plenty to speak to him about.

[theunworthyheir]

He was improving it was told; he had left his solar, he had bathed and even began to socialise once more with the people that roamed their temporary home. It was enough for people to believe he was getting better, but he still drank and he still mourned. He had grown to care for little else than his grief and wine; he had not heard word from his sister since her departure and had not spoken to his brother for longer still. He'd kept company with bastard girls and kitchen maids, with the Starks be could bare to be around, with Northern men who japed and drank and cared not for sorrow and regret. But today, his brother had called for him, made demands and called him to his solar for reasons he would not tell.

He'd delayed solely out of spite and entered the room with such force that wooden door smacked against the stone wall. "You make demands of your liege Lord, brother?"

[theunworthyheir]

Dead hearts are everywhere | Damon and Eryn

[thesecretlannister-blog]

”Eryn Hill, m’lord” she answered his question, bending her knees slightly in a bow. Though she had recently discovered her father’s identity, she would not betray his trust by letting their secret become public. So even though she was kept prisoner, she would keep being a lady as Lady Whent had taught her, all the while keeping her other skills hidden. For what would she be worth if her captors were to know everything about her?

Her eyes wandered to the table at the mug of ale and the pitcher on the table, before respectably finding his face and taking in his features, a slight smile on her lips. Eryn had never been one to let circumstances bring her down, but tried to get the best from what she could and this was one of those situations. She was held captive, yes, but she was held captive at what would have been her childhood home, had she been born Lannister.

She took in his handsome features, his dark hair and his piercing eyes all the while a respectable smile hung upon her thin lips. “Anything I can do for you, m’lord?” she asked the drunken man politely.

[theunworthyheir]

Hill, a bastards name. He should have known better than to underestimate bastards, after all Jon Snow was famed for his unknown mother that was most definitely not Lady Stark, but currently Damon did not know better, be did not know anything. "Come here Eryn," Damon commanded, he wanted to get a better look at her, decide whether her blonde hair was truly golden or just yellow; whether her green eyes were emerald or just green; whether she had Lannister in her or not. 

What should be do if she was? Robb had explicit commands, captives were not to be harmed and he couldn't well run her through with a dinner knife, could he? He tried to ignore how tempting the offer sounded by taking another drink of ale. "Tell me about yourself, bastard." 

[deadmoneys-deactivated20210317]

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[theunworthyheir]

Dead hearts are everywhere | Damon and Eryn

[thesecretlannister-blog]

Eryn had been held captive for a while now, and she didn’t dare to try and run away even though she wasn’t chained at her ankles. She often found herself walking the castle and imagining how different her life would have been if she’d been born a full blooded Lannister. People looking at her, knowing her and respecting her. But that hadn’t been her life, and she appreciated the life she’d been given, though she couldn’t help but wonder.

The colors covering the castle at Castelry Rock, reminded her of learning about the houses of Westeros from Lady Shella Whent, and they brought a smile to her lips. Though she could never say it out loud, she was a Lannister. A lion, and she belonged here at Castelry Rock or at King’s Landing. Yeah, she’d heard about her nephew being worse than the mad king on the throne, but those were just stories… Right?

Walking in her own thoughts, her steps carried her towards the grand hall, her eyes on the ceiling above her. It wasn’t until she looked down that she noticed that she wasn’t alone in the hall. “Excuse the interruption” she told the man she knew to me be Damon Salvatore of the House Salvatore. Her eyes grazed the floor in a most ladylike way as a respecting the man sitting in the hall.

[theunworthyheir]

Damon looked up at the sound of a voice, a deep frown on his lips. He hadn't been too fond of company as of late, or company hadn't been rather fond of him. He tried to soften his features when he saw she was a stranger though, just a girl, she'd done him to harm and he was a Lord after all, he should show some sort of kindness. 

"It's fine," he answered, rather more gruffly than he meant to. He looked up at her, fulling taking in all of her features, he had not seen her before he was sure, was she a Lannister captive? Golden hair, green eyes, she certainly looked Lannister.

He felt his heart clench at the thought. The Lannister's had taken Ruby, it was their fault for this wretched war, if she was a Lannister then she would get no kindness from him.

"Who are you?" he asked. "You don't look familiar." He would have rose to his feet, if he were to tower over her he would be far more intimidating he knew, but he feared that if he stood he would stagger and that would make him look a fool.

[theunworthyheir]

Dead hearts are everywhere | Damon and Eryn

The sun still rose every morning and set again every night; the flowers still bloomed and the sky still rained; people still laughed and smiled: everyone was still living their lives, the earth had not stopped turning. But why? First it was his mother, then father, and then Daniel, Faye, Robb, Stefan and now Ruby, he had lost them all, everyone he had ever loved was gone and left him miserable and alone. Why did the world continue to move forwards when Damon's had crumbled before him?

His talk with Lady Stark had motivated to leave his room, but it had done nothing to lift the dark cloud that hung above him. Ruby could have made him smile, she could have made him happy, but Ruby was gone.

Damon sat alone, as he always did lately, in the grand hall of the Lannisters. Casterly Rock was far finer than Boreal, he had to admit, everything in the room glittered with gold and if it wasn't gold it was a plush red. Damon wanted to rip it from the walls, get rid of every trace of Lannister that lingered on the earth. It was the Lannisters that had taken Ruby and he was take his revenge by getting rid of each and every single one of them. Robb could have Jeffory's head but Damon wanted to wrap his hands around the Queen Regents neck and watch as the light went of her eyes. The crows would feast on the corpses of the lions.

He took a deep drink of his cup of ale. He knew he shouldn't drink so much, he knew it, knew that if he did not stop soon he would become the man his father had, but the drink dulled all his emotions and helped him lose himself in his memories. He took another swig as his mind drifted, remembering a visit to Winterfell just a few years ago. There had been no war then, everything was how it should have been. Ruby had been waiting ready for them when they'd arrived, her cheeks pink from the cold but she smiled at the sight of them, he wondered then had she smiled for him? He was so lost  in his own memories he did not hear the soft clack of footsteps echoing across the marble floor.

[theunworthyheir]

Wine and ghosts | Catelyn and Damon

Damon had taken to his solar, and his only companion was wine. He had not been seen since the siege, not even by his king or his siblings, he had locked himself away refused any company that was not in a cup. He slept or drank or slept or drank; he had not washed since the battle, dried blood and mud still covered his person, he wore the same clothes, tattered and sodden and stinking and had not washed his soft ebony locks.

He mourned and drank, haunting himself with ghosts, of Ruby, of his father, of his mother too. He told himself over and over how he could have protected Ruby, could have sent her to Boreal, could have married her as a man should. But now she was dead, and it was his fault. His father laughed at him too, for being so weak and foolish, for failing the only person that could have loved him and for ultimately becoming just the person he had never wanted to be, his father. Had Guiseppe himself not done this? Locked himself away and drank himself stupid. Never had Damon wanted to be like this father, but he just did not have the strength nor will to put the bottle down and move on.

With his wine and ghosts he did not feel alone, so he did not notice nor hear when someone finally entered his solar.

[theorphanlord]

A Murder of Crows | Daniel and Damon | Flashback

[theorphanlord]

Daniel was quiet for a moment and closed his eyes when Damon placed a hand on his cheek. For the longest time he’d felt alone, like everyone was avoiding him, when all he really wanted was someone to hold him. And while this wasn’t exactly what he needed, it was more than he ever expected from Damon. A tear ran down his cheek and he quickly pulled back, wiping at his eyes. He couldn’t be weak. Not in front of Damon. No, he had to be strong like his cousin. Strong like the North.

But he wasn’t and he knew it. Daniel looked away as he got up quickly, nearly tripping over himself. “I have to go,” he said, his voice breaking some. Damon didn’t need to see him cry, didn’t need to know how broken and weak Daniel actually was. Not like this, he thought to himself. Not like this and not right now.

[theunworthyheir]

He'd said something wrong, of course, he always did. He tried, in his own way, to love and protect his siblings and his cousin, but something always went wrong, something he said or did. He tried his hardest not to be like his father, but somehow he always seemed to hurt people, just as his father did.

"Please yourself," said Damon as his cousin gave his goodbyes. Damon was never any good at giving comfort, he would just make things worse. It would be better to let Daniel be.

[theorphanlord]

A Murder of Crows | Daniel and Damon | Flashback

[theorphanlord]

Daniel shook his head and smiled. Of course Damon couldn’t argue it. Out of the four Salvatore children, Daniel was the softest. Even Faye had a hardness to her. He wondered for a moment if he were really related to them, but there were some similarities, he thought. He looked up when Damon questioned him about marriage and laughed.

“I have no power here, cousin. You know that. I matter even less than the stable boys. If it were my choice, I’d let you do as you pleased in regards to your marriage.” He sighed, thinking about how much had changed when his father died and how easy it had been for Giuseppe to come in and take over.

He looked back up, a coldness to his eyes before it was quickly gone. “Don’t worry. I’m sure I’ll be gone before you. Maybe he’ll send me off to the Wall or have me killed.” Daniel sighed. “I don’t mean to speak so ill of your father. Forgive me.”

[theunworthyheir]

It was said that the coldness of the North ran in the blood of it's people, and while that may have been true for Damon, it was not for Daniel. He had a softness in his heart, a warmth and a kindness but also a sadness, a weight that he always carried with him. Though his sadness did not turn him bitter as it would Damon, it merely made Daniel.... sad.

"Don't look so glum, cousin. It'd be easy enough to strike a knife through My dear Lord father's heart during dinner, then I'll be Lord. And I can't have your pretty face going anywhere, it would make Boreal far too dismal." He smiled and put his hand against his cousin's cheek. "And I'll do the same for anyone that calls you bastard too."

[lonewillowitch]

Blood

[theorphanlord]

A Murder of Crows | Daniel and Damon | Flashback

[theorphanlord]

Daniel shook his head and couldn’t help but chuckle. “I believe I have fairer skin than Faye as well. Your men say I am the greatest beauty Boreal has.” He smiled, trying to show that he took it all lightly even though it wasn’t really the case. It was why he practiced with his sword on his own or read in the library by himself. It was just best to avoid everyone these days. Of course, he would often find himself watching young men in the armory from a spot out of the way he’d discovered. Or asked Kevan to help him with his archery.

“We are the blood of the first men,” he said with a smirk as he picked at the piece of bread in his hands. “I’m sure you’ll end up marrying a lovely girl from the Riverlands and Stefan will be sent off to the Reach, and Faye the Vale.” Daniel fell silent for a moment, frowning at the thought of losing all of his cousins to marriages while he was left to Boreal. He’d have to leave on his own before that happened.

“I’m sure he has his reasons,” Daniel said somewhat disdainfully. “I mean, Stefan is the first born after all. Neither of us actually exist. Perhaps we’re ghosts.”

[theunworthyheir]

Damon couldn't help but laugh at that, "Now that, I can't argue with." He laughed again as he raised his cup to his lips and took another drink of ale. Daniel was small for his age, more scrawny than other boys; he had the face of a singer rather than a fighter. It was the same with Stefan too, the good the blood of the First Men did them, only Damon and Faye had been born with the warrior blood it seemed.

Damon pulled a face as Daniel spoke again of marriage, in all honesty, Damon wanted his siblings wed as much as he did. He drained what ale was left in his cup and put it back on the table with a hollow thud. "The Riverlands? I hope you're not planning on wedding me off to one of Lord Walder's weaselly brood, cousin." He gave a smile as hollow as his cup. Stefan would likely thrive in marriage, in truth, but Damon... in time his wife would learn the truth of him and only come to hate him.

"Ah, of course. How could I forget?" By all laws of inheritance, Daniel would have been Lord once, how easy would it be Giuseppe to pass Damon over just as he had once Daniel. It was only a matter of time before they were both sent to the Wall.

[theorphanlord]

A Murder of Crows | Daniel and Damon | Flashback

[theorphanlord]

Beauty sleep. Daniel forced a smile, knowing that Damon didn’t mean some of the things he said like other men around the castle, but the words still stung. “I did. I have to keep my fair skin in tact,” he said, trying to turn the joke back around as he looked back to his plate. He picked up a piece of fruit and bit into it, chewing while Damon spoke and nodding his head along with him.

“He and Sansa are rather close, aren’t they? Do you think your father will try to marry him off to her?” he asked, looking up. He refused to call the man uncle. He treated Daniel like a bastard, not family. Why should Daniel offer any kindness? “I’m sure she is. I think she’s the best archer Boreal has now.”

Daniel sighed, shaking his head. “I didn’t miss anything important, did I? No news?”

[theunworthyheir]

Damon smiled and gave his cousin a reassuring pat on the shoulder, before reaching across the table to pour himself a cup of ale. "Good skin it is too, you put Stefan to shame." He grinned and took a swig of ale to wash down his food. Neither this brother nor cousin had much interest in swordplay, Stefan preferred his songs and stories and Daniel... Damon wasn't really quite sure what Daniel did with his time, perhaps making eyes at a young stable hand.

Merely the mention of marriage made Damon groan. "Perhaps, a marriage alliance with House Salvatore would probably please the old trout," Damon shrugged before taking another swig of ale. "Though whether he'd care enough... and if he starts marrying one of us off, it's only a matter of time before we'll wed. But it wouldn't be to friends like the Starks." 

Damon gave a shrug at question of news, "If their have been ravens, Lord Guiseppe hasn't been kind enough to inform me," he took another bite of bread. "Ask Stefan, Our precious Lord father tells him all he won't tell me."

[theunworthyheir]

Asymmetries of Loss | Stefan and Damon

[thesecondcrow-blog]

“I can and I will,” Stefan retorted, teeth gritted. What did Damon actually know about him, japes aside? He wasn’t much older. He wasn’t wise, like Father. He was cocky, and arrogant, and seemed to truly believe that Stefan would listen to him. Stefan swung a bit harder, anger making him clumsy.

“I don’t want your help, Damon,” Stefan told him. “Thank you for the advice, but I don’t need you to coach me.”

[theunworthyheir]

"You may not want my help, little brother, but you certainly need it." If that was what he wanted, then Stefan could do thing his way, he could fight however he wished and when it came to the next battle Damon wouldn't take the trouble to return his bones to Boreal.

Another clash of steel and in one swift movement Damon had knocked Stefan to his feet. A frown on his face, Damon sheathed his sword, "Train with Alaric if you won't listen to me. But train." Damon turned, leaving his brother to lie, alone, in the mud.

[littleredstark]

in the dark | damon and ruby | wedding | flashback

[littleredstark]

[smiles and relaxes, closing her eyes as his thumb strokes her cheek. she had been so scared that she would be just another girl from the North and he would toss her aside but right now all of those fears were gone. brings her hands up to hold his wrists, keeping him from pulling back. just wants to stay in his arms and without hesitation pushes closer until she’s pressed against his chest and hides her face in the crook of his neck]

[theunworthyheir]

[How was something that felt so perfect, so wrong? He'd been with women before and he'd never once batted an eyelid, but Ruby, all he could think was how he was ruined her. He wanted her, to keep her in his arms forever, for her to be his for the whole world to know, but he was such a fool, what if he ruined her further? What if he brought her nothing but sadness and grief?] I should be the one that's sorry

[dragonschosen-deactivated201403]