Emmaus

Walking, Learning, Loving

[thewalktoemmaus]

“Jesus Dies” by artist Douglas Blanchard- The artist made a collection depicting Christ in the modern world, as a young Gay man. It shows that wherever there is suffering and death, the suffering Christ is also present.

[thewalktoemmaus]

Mourning

Yesterday I learned, as many of you know, that back home in the United States there was yet another shooting. At least 50 people were killed and over 50 were critically injured in a place that stood as house of celebration, where people came to enjoy life and the company of others.

I wish I had the words to process the heaviness of my heart- but I do not. I ache for those in LGBT community- a group of people who have come so far, who have fought so hard, who have stood in steadfastness and love for each other showing the rest of us the beauty and extent to which human love is expressed in all of it’s variations.

I am saddened that less than 24 hours after this event it has already been utilized as tool for political advancements.

I am saddened that friendships were stolen.

I am saddened that sons and daughters are going to be buried by parents.

I am saddened that lives were cut short and will never be present on this earth again.

I was thinking about writing a prayer, but I can’t . I do not know what to pray about, what to offer that will do anything to change to horrors of this. I take comfort knowing that it is okay for me not to know what to do. God in Jesus Christ is in the midst of all of this- weeping and heart broken- as a person of faith I trust that God is within humanity, and Jesus Christ is the living hope of that trust. Christ wept when his friend died, standing outside of his tomb- hurt, heart broken, feeling the weight of loss and despair- and today he is doing the same.

[thewalktoemmaus]

Saint Mary Magdalene- out of love you sought after the body of your friend and Lord, Jesus, and in doing so you witnessed the new breath of resurrection and proclaimed that good news to your fellow apostles. May we be guided by your example of showing up to the realities of this broken world so the we too can proclaim and show the new of life of Christ’s resurrection. Amen.

Saint Mary Magdalene, pray for us.

[thewalktoemmaus]

Showing up

I have now been in service for 9 months, and new life has begun to spring up throughout creation. Flowers are blooming, fruit trees are being prepared and pruned for summer, the fields are being plowed, and fresh spring rain enlivens the soil. It is truly beautiful.

            In reflecting over these last 9 months it is hard for me to believe where this journey has taken me, and where it will continue to take me as I near the final 3 months of service.  Next year’s volunteers are currently journeying through the discernment process, full of excitement and full of uncertainty of where God will call them.  Likewise, I find myself continually undergoing the process of discernment, of trying to listen to where God is calling me everyday in my site placement.  Some days that is clearer, other days not so much.  Some days the beauty of death and resurrection, the good news of the Gospel, is so evident that it feels like heaven is bending down and kissing earth- other days, no matter how much I try, everything seems clouded and I am merely going through the motions.  This has taught me the value of “showing up.”

            Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber once preached on the Feast day of Mary Magdalene that the greatest spiritual practice is not yoga, or reading the bible daily, or praying the hours (traditional daily prayer based off the psalms- Morning, Evening, and Night prayer) or even living in intentional poverty or community- it’s showing up. It’s living into the commitment and relationship that God established with us in the waters of baptism, and living into the commitment and relationship that baptism brings with the larger community of faith, the church.  And this relationship is not one sided, it doesn’t rest all on our shoulders- God and the church has commitment towards us as well. 

            Rev. Nadia, in hear sermon, stated that Mary Magdalene is pretty much the patron saint of showing up.  After being freed from her own darkness she followed Jesus, and even supported the ministry with her own pocket book.  When it came time for the arrest, trial, and crucifixion of her Lord, of her teacher, of her friend she did not leave when things got rough. She was there at the cross- I imagine that the difficulty of that moment, of seeing a loved one tortured and killed, would have been unbearably heartbreaking. Death, however, did not deter her from continuing to show up- out of longing and sadness she went to the tomb where her friend and Lord called her by name- and yet her job was not done there, she continued to show up by running to the other apostles and telling them that Christ had been raised. She became the Apostle to the Apostles, and the first preacher and priest of the Risen Christ in that instant.

            I have found myself constantly reflecting on Mary throughout this year, and I feel that she has helped and guided me through her witness to continue to show up- when everything is clear, and when everything is difficult and confusing. I am also extremely thankful for the people who have continually showed up for me: my site supervisor, Rev. Eszerbet Kovacs, my co-workers, my fellow YAGMs, my country coordinators, my friends and loved ones.

[thewalktoemmaus]

Reflections on Vulnerability

Over this Holiday Season my schedule was totally out of the ordinary. Schedules were different, I had different meetings to go to, celebrations to attend, and at times I had to prioritize what I needed to do, and what I could pass on. Sometimes that is easy, sometimes it isn’t. But, what I have learned tremendously is that just as I am here to to serve, I also need to allow space to be served. It’s a mutual giving, a mutual redemption so to speak. And that can be really hard. I tend to be on the more prideful/selfish side and I really hate having to ask for assistance with anything, but following a retreat that was during the first part of advent I realized that I need to allow others to help me out, not just for my own well-being but also for the well-being of others, otherwise it’s just a one-sided relationship, which really isn’t a relationship at all. And so, in the spirit of trying not be so concerned with my own self sufficient and self sustaining un-vulnerable-ness I have begun to ask for help. It really surprises me how the amount of feeling “not alone” has increased, that I am surrounded by the love and hopes, and dreams, and good wishes of people within this community who likewise wish to serve.

People need each other, we are social  creatures, and Jesus’ life shows that God’s intent for creation is to be in relationship with each other, and part being in relationship means being vulnerable, vulnerable enough to receive help, and realizing that you are not all that self-reliant to begin with.

[thewalktoemmaus]

An Action Pic of some food being served!

[thewalktoemmaus]

Holy Rest~A.K.A Sabbath

“Lord of Creation, create in us a new rhythm of life composed of hours that sustain rather than stress, of days that deliver rather than destroy, of time that tickles rather than tackles...“

That is a part of a prayer to welcome Sabbath from “Common Prayer: A Liturgy for ordinary Radicals.” It’s an awesome book--definitely worth a look if you ever get the chance, and I have been trying to get into the habit of using it these past few weeks to begin my days with morning prayer. And as I prepare to go bed this evening, and looking back on this weekend I have found myself asking “What is Sabbath?”

Most people probably think of the 10 commandments when it comes to that little word. “Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.”One of those knit-picky little arbitrary little rules that some old guy in the sky expects us to keep, because he is just fussy like that.

As I have grown, somewhat, into the habit of following daily morning prayer (my book has assigned orders of prayer for each day of the year, with readings, prayers, poetry etc.) I think I have at least started to understand that Sabbath is more than keeping an old guy in the sky happy, in fact I would argue that attempting to take a few moments to simply be what you were made to be is beneficial to your own well being: mentally, physically, emotionally etc. And that’s what Sabbath is meant to do, to give yourself some time away from distractions, distractions that can easily affect your entire outlook of the week or day. Distractions that bring about worry, stress, false ideals, and false identities.

There’s something that really rubs you the wrong way on facebook from somebody who has a completely different political view than you. 

The guy at Starbucks got your order wrong.

Advertisements for the Holiday season pressure you into spending money that you do not have.

The list can go on-but when those start to take up space within you, the real you, the you that you were made to be gets a little buried, and you aren’t able to be present as yourself but as those things that end up taking up space within your heart and mind. I’m learning that, and I’m also learning that trying to open “Sabbath” for myself, as part of my morning routine, is not just for my own well being, but it allows me to show up and be better aware of the people I’m trying to serve and learn from, and its amazing how better a day can be when I just simply begin by being reminded of my identity given to me by God, and not the “God” who is an old man in the sky, but a God who is constantly seeking to bring new life.

I invite you to seek ways of bringing Sabbath into your routine, whether its Yoga, Meditation, Prayer, Arts, whatever helps you to just simply be who are, and notice how that brings newness to the relationships you have with the people around you.

[thewalktoemmaus]

As the Grains of Wheat...

Bread. Lots of Bread. My first week at my site placement has been full of bread. I’ve been gathering loaves from the pantry, placing the loaves onto a cutting board, and cutting thick hearty slices that are eventually given to beautiful sisters and brothers to be eaten with their midday meal. These sisters and brothers come from all walks of life, and carry with them hopes and dreams and ambitions~ as well as humorous stories and jokes. These wonderful people also carry with them generosity and concerns. They have been hurt, and some carry burdens and baggage that can be seen in the years of wear and tiredness on their faces. In simpler and fewer words, they are people. They carry with them what all people carry, and need what all people need- laughter, smiles, tears, and bread…lots of bread. Bread is a unique gift. It is a basic, earthy, gift. Water, flour, yeast, maybe some salt. Those basic simple things create a life sustaining food that greets a meal at every occasion- ranging from the simplest soup made from last night’s leftovers, to the grand feast served alongside the finest wines and cheeses. The substance of this bread is a constant- but its mobility is endless. From the soup kitchen to tables within the halls of power it is present. This past week, if you haven’t been able to tell, I’ve been thinking about bread, and the people I’ve been slicing it for. The bread has been present to me as a metaphor for the people I am called to be a servant to. That even though bread comes and is made in many different shapes, and can have different textures, it is still bread, it is still a staple for the hungry stomach---likewise people come with different stories, with different aspirations and hopes, from different circumstances, and yet they are still people, they are still image bearers of the one who spoke creation into being, and they still love and need love. In the USA there seems to be a fear of those who are homeless, those who live in poverty, or those who need help, and I had those same fears at different times in my life as well, but those are so misguided, and at times it seems that assistance is given with a sense of pity or it is given with a sense of self righteousness (equating oneself as a mini savior to “poor folks who must’ve have made a few mistakes”). That’s BS.  We are people, we are sisters and brothers, we are children- and its not an act of stepping down to help the lowly, or a sacrifice- its our human obligation to offer compassion and bread, to welcome with open hearts those who, due to our sinful economic systems of self indulgence, simply do not have space at the “big kid” table. It should not be something out of the ordinary for this to occur, for hungry mouths to be fed, maybe it should surprise and disturb us when that becomes an issue for debate. These are just a few of the thoughts that I have been dwelling on while slicing bread this week.  I’m really thankful for the chance to work where I am- the employees there are patient with my lack of Hungarian, and willing to guide me through the day. I am encountering much laughter and learning, and I am excited to see what will happen in the weeks and months ahead. Much peace & love- Andrew

[thewalktoemmaus]

In Hungary~~~~~

Well, I finally arrived on Thursday, August 27th, to the country in which I will be living and serving for the next year. The week prior to that arrival was spent with my fellow YAGMs in Chicago for pre-departure orientation (a week full of building community and relationships with each other, prayerful discernment, and trying to gain a sense of awareness of what this year exactly means- theological, socially, and personally)

Arriving in the Budapest airport I gained a bizarre sense of achievement. “I’ve made it this far, maybe this year will work out after all”, is kind of what was going through my mind.

We met up with our country coordinators, Miriam and Rachel- and ventured to the beautiful summer community of Révfülöp on the beautiful shore of lake Balaton. We are staying at the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Hungary’s retreat center/hostel, and with the purpose of learning and building relationships of love and trust with each other.

The other people I am with are amazing, and I feel fortunate to be a fellow volunteer with them, and I am excited to see what our time here will teach us about ourselves.

This is just to catch you all up on what the intention of in-country orientation is, and I will be posting some more detailed posts soon.

Much Peace!

[thewalktoemmaus]

This is a painting  done by Campus Lutheran, a campus ministry that I am active with. It depicts the Christian calender, as well as the sacraments. No matter where we journey throughout the passing of time, all things lead to the cross.

[thewalktoemmaus]

- country placement -

After my initial application I went through some over the phone interviews, and that led to an invitation to go on a Discernment Retreat in Illinois.

Leading up to this event were many emotions- excitement, fear, hope, trust, questions, and uncertainty. I met with 78 other young adults from all across the USA who were in the same boat as I, and experiencing the same questions that I was facing. They were all tremendously beautiful people- all eager to learn, and serve, and I can honestly say that I have never been more optimistic for the future of the church. These young people in the next couple of years will be leaders with in the ELCA, and they are going to mess things up....in a really good way.

Throughout this retreat we worshiped, prayed, laughed, learned and wrestled with the Spirit’s nudging. She’s a good nudger. In the midst of this was a surreal peace amidst uncertainty, an order in the midst of chaos. We learned what we are being called to live as missionaries of the Church. We learned that we are not expected to just give, but also receive. That God is already acting and working throughout the world and that we are called to wade in whatever that looks like, wherever we were to be placed. That we are called to use our gifts, talents and time to love as servants-but to also walk humbly and allow others to show love to us, to act as Christ to us, to allow other to be servants as well. Mission within this context can be seen as a “Holy Exchange.”

I met with the coordinators of my possible country placements, and they were caring, loving and eager to walk with me through this journey. They asked tough questions, and got a sense of who I am and where I would best serve. The other volunteers and I waited as the coordinators were prayerfully discussing and discerning where we should be place, and when they concluded we went to bed, resting with excitement to hear where we would be called to serve the next morning.

That morning we gathered for worship, sang hymns to our God. We heard the sacred story of our faith. We gave thanks, broke the bread and poured the wine, shared God’s peace. Being fed and nourished for the beginning of our walk together as YAGMs, we listened intently to our names being called with our country of service, and I was called to serve, walk, learn, and live in Hungary.

The entire process was humbling, realizing that I myself had very little control over a decision about where my life would end up in a few months for an entire year, living as an outsider. But there is a strange sense of freedom in that type of surrender, there is freedom in opening oneself to a calling of a community, of allowing oneself to go somewhere with a commitment to the act of serving, and trusting the judgment of those leading you in that walk. That sense of liberation feels new refreshing- but it has been part of the Christian story for over 2,000 years.

[thewalktoemmaus]

YAGM?

I figured it might be helpful to explain some potential language barriers, so here we go!

What the heck is (a) YAGM?

YAGM- Young Adults in Global Mission

“A” YAGM- A Young Adult in Global Mission

What is Global Mission?

Global Mission- A ministry of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America(ELCA) that serves globally- supplying Food, Water, Medical Care, Education, Disaster Relief, and Agricultural Resources to people in need- (Regardless of their amount of “Lutheran-ness”)

How does this happen?

Through the various Synods(geographical regions, under the oversight of a Bishop) of the ELCA and the congregations in those Synods.

How do they do that?

Through the weekly offering that is collected on Sundays during worship, and direct donations. Believe it or not, there is a reason why money is collected at church. It not only allows the local congregation to keep its doors open (paying bills) and do ministry in the local community(soup kitchens, child-care, helping with expenses of those in need, after-school programs) but also, it is used on a state-wide, national, and global scale. That offering helps provide one of the best Non-Governmental organizations in the world(according the UN...no big deal) with resources to better the lives of people from all walks of life. 

(If you’d like to give money here’s a link http://www.elca.org/Our-Work/Global-Church/Global-Mission)

Missionary work?

Okay...you got me. A YAGM is a missionary, a Lutheran Missionary, a Missionary of the Church and (Depending on your Theological conviction) Jesus Christ...but it does not involve what you think it does. A YAGM will not be knocking door to door trying to get converts. A YAGM is not trying to push American style Christianity or Lutheran Tradition or Christianity onto people for more numbers (so we can finally catch up to those darn LDS haha) In our Lutheran Tradition and Theology we believe that God is already present in the world, a YAGM does not need to bring God anywhere because God is already there, present within local communities and working through local people and programs. A YAGM is only sent where service has been requested, and we are called not to “come in and save the day”, but walk with people wherever they are in life and love them through our own gifts and talents in service to a particular community, and also receive the blessings of that particular community’s own gifts and talent. To see what God is doing in a different place and context of the world, and hopefully, upon return, that will benefit our own communities back home(City, Town, Home-Congregation, State, Nation) and raise awareness of certain societal issues that might be overlooked due to complacency.

Why is this important?

Well, the Christian story (Whether you are a Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, an Atheist, or the ever-popular nothing) in my opinion (perhaps a bit biased) is one worth sharing, but not just with words, but also through action and service----But here is a short summary of that story...using words. Ironic, I know.

It is a story that says Love is not only real, but personable, and that Love wants to be known. That Love could not help but to be expressed by bursting forth creation from nothing, and inviting Life, in all of its beauty to join in a dance. In the midst of that dance, due to pride, shame, and fear, humanity slips up...we step on toes, we knock stuff over, and sometimes we stop joining the dance all together. But the thing about this Love is that it is desperately wanting us to get back into the groove of the dance with all of creation, and so, Love came to us, not as a world-class dancer, or a militant ballet instructor, but as a dance teacher inviting all of those who didn’t think they could dance. The lame, the addicted, the prostitute, the abused, the abuser, hungry men and thirsty women. He walked with them and met them where they were at, filling them up with wine all the way. And he taught them not to be afraid, that when you see the homeless person you are seeing the possibility of Love’s own face to be shown, and yes even that really annoying person at work has a place in the dance too.

Because of our fear of Love being so intimate, so accessible, not requiring anything-- the dance teacher was betrayed, and killed- showing to the world the result of what happens when we choose to act on fear, hatred, self-pride, and self-despair. Our brokenness was manifested in the brokenness of body- and it was put into the hands of death. However, Love had a bigger vision. Love rose above the hell and death that we had created for it, saying that death and brokenness is the only result of our value system of materialism, fear, pride, shame, and selfishness----the things that have no value in Love’s dream for the dance of creation. And now, slowly, some people are joining in the dance and are trying to figure out what that looks like in today’s world- and how to share that dance with others, through example and action...not just talking about it.

So in a nutshell, this is what YAGM is about----and I hope you enjoyed this little educational tidbit. My next post will be about my country placement~

Peace!