I am, barely, uni among other personal things r happening, so I am so full of stuff. Either way, yes I am alive just, not active here much, I got focused on writing a small series with gl pairs, cuz rn that is my interest, but yeah, I am like this 🤡 tired af but still standing.
So hello, I have an announcement.. since the whole ordeal with Katseye and whatnot, and my rising interest in other things, I wanted to opt doing something different.
I will continue to write because I love writing however.. I would like to propose this:
Instead of picking who I am writing for, say if it is a girl group or a character or whatnot, I wanted to try to just keep it very vague. Why? There are a few reasons. One, I feel like this may interest more the reader since the reader can easily picture whoever I am writing as their favorite say, character or member of a group.
I will exclusively write about women, so that is about it.. it's not that I do not like men, I do, but this whole page was dedicated to our lovely women and personally, I think I have a slight preference for women rather than men.
So, how am I gonna do this? Easy.. I will use very vague pictures and descriptions. Of course when I write, I do have an idea of the person I am writing for but the thing is, that is how I see it, but someone else might invision someone else.
I won't use names at all, I will use other things like 'friend' or 'co-worker' or 'crush', stuff like that. So that it does not correlate to someone specifically.
I want to do this because rn.. as I am seeing a lot of shows, I want badly to write about the characters but I do not really want to write about them, if you know what I mean. I want to write say, someone that has those characteristics, but isn't them and can be interpreted as anyone. Say, someone from Katseye or from Aespa. From Kpop to Cpop, to Kdrama to Thai Drama etc.
You get my grip right?
I just want to ask moreso my followers if they would be willing to read such fanfics. Because I feel like this way, everyone can win. For example, for the Katseye fandom, they can invision Manon as they can invision Megan etc. And everyone is happy.
And it gives me more freedom with how the story and characters sort of go yk? They can go way overboard and I do not have to worry if they 'fit' the stereotype of the person I am writing for.
Let me know in the comments thank you.
Current taglist: @ctrlamira @thevisionofafeline @sadbone8--8 @arcwrites0609 @jhgifdbki @marvelwomen-simp @uglyr3ader
Synopsis: that was all that was meant to be.. a secret deal between you and Sophia.. except when feelings started to arise. Aka, you and Sophia sign a contract, making a deal, where you two get together just for the fun of it..
Warnings: slightly mature, so I'd say 16+ still or something like that.. jealousy from both sides, happy happy ending with marriage
Words: 5k
A contract, between two aquiantances, where was the harm in that right? Two full adults, agreeing on conditions stipulated way prior. So really, there shouldn't have been any problems between the two of you and the rest of the world.
Nobody would know in the end.. only the two of you.
Sophia.. when did you meet Sophia? Well, it wasn't easy to say. You two had known each other unconsciously for a rather long time. How? Your friend was also her friend, and from time to time she would spill about her to you. Of course, nothing too obscene, but you heard..
Heard of the struggles she was facing. Not so much with work, but rather, with relationships. None she had satisfied her, her needs, her requirements. And she was insistent on saying that she simply didn't have patience anymore to focus her precious time on worthless stuff like.. love.
Then, between the time you graduated University, and the time you got hired at this new company, you had the pleasure of meeting her in person. Your friend's words didn't justify just how beautiful she was. So poised, so precise, like everything on her was expensive, and she knew her worth.
Co-workers, that was how it started out. She would linger around even after hours when you had to finish something, always bringing you stuff to drink, as you typed away at the computer. Then, slowly, one look became two, and a small touch on the arm became one on your shoulder.
The attraction, was there, for sure. Not only for her, but for you too. It was pointless to just run around the bush and lie, making up useless stories about how this was just a game.. or how the looks you two gave to each other were anything but friendly.
Sophia, on her part, played the role perfectly. She knew just how much to give to you, so that you would run back to her for more. And you, on your behalf, would follow through, because this could only work if the two of you let it work. If one of you chased, while the other was being chased.
Somehow, you two had managed to make this go unnoticed by everyone around the office. Why? Well.. they also had their own problems, but let's just say that they really were blind.. or you two were very good at acting.
You two acted like indifferent co-workers with everyone else, but when alone, everything would change. The atmosphere would change, the lingering eyes would take a different kind of longing and yearning.
Then, one day, it finally happened. You two had crossed that sacred line that was not meant to be crossed.
You remember it vividly, you were sitting at your desk, typing away something at the computer, while everyone else had left already for the day. You had to work with a very difficult client that wouldn't leave you alone because somehow they would find always something wrong with the documents.
So.. you had the joy to work overtime for them. And of course, Sophia, ever so sweetly, stayed behind, just to land a helping hand. Unfortunately, she underestimated just how overworked and overstressed you felt in that moment, because the second she slid your favorite drink towards you, giving you a smirk, you had lost it.
And the rest well.. it was history. Let's just say that the night only knew what you two did in that office.
The next morning, you arrived to the office with papers, actual papers in your hands. Sophia must've understood immediately, because she opened the door to her office for you to walk in, like you did many times prior. Only this time.. it was for a very different reason.
She locked the door behind you and let you take a seat at her desk, dropping the papers on it, making it slightly squeak.
You couldn't lie, your heart was actually racing in that moment. Never in your life had you come bearing this kind of news to anyone. But that night.. it was magical to you, and you couldn't just forget about it.. you didn't want to forget about it. Just yet.
"So.. what are you doing here?" she asked, slowly, as she marched towards her chair and sat down. Wow, she looked gorgeous today, wearing a black suit with high heels that just highlighted her stature. If that was not enough, she had her hair down, as she sported a red lipstick on her lips. Deep rich red, not to be confused.
"I think we both know why I am here.."
"Mhm, maybe.. but I still want to hear you say it" she smirked, placing her hands on the table, sliding closer.
You sighed, biting your lower lip, almost in frustration, before giving in "Fine.. I am here to propose a deal."
"A deal.. what kind of deal?"
"A secret deal.. listen, I won't lie and say that yesterday was a mistake or that it didn't mean anything.. because it did.. it made me feel.. alive for the first time in a long time."
Sophia nodded slowly, crossing her legs as she took you in. Uh, you were rather pretty today, really took the time to dress up for her. She wondered if she could spot the small mark she left on your neck.. probably, since you really did have delicate skin.
"I'm glad you feel that way."
"Oh cut it Sophia, I know you liked it too, stop trying to act poise."
"Never said I didn't.. but you know.. this could be dangerous.. what if someone finds out?"
"Then we will make them not find out" you mumbled, as your eyes looked up and down at her.
What you were proposing was rather simple.. a secret deal.. where the two of you would have sex without the consequence of shame or regret. Just fun, between two colleagues who felt deprived of sexual activity. How easy was that, right?
Sophia hummed, resting her chin on her hands "Mhm.. it doesn't sound bad.."
"And there are no strings attached, so we can stop whenever we want."
"Don't you know though that this is the number one reason this kind of thing fails in the end?" she tapped the papers, with a manicured finger.
Yes.. yes you did know.. but well.. it was worth a shot in your mind.
"Yes.. I know, but listen.. if we do end up, and I don't think it will happen.. but if it does happen that we develop feelings then.. we will be honest with each other and talk about it."
"I don't want something serious though."
"Then we won't have anything serious.. just.. pure fun, is that okay for you?"
Sophia kept quiet for a few seconds, actually debating whether to take the bait or not. On one hand, you really made her feel desired and she did like you sexually.. on the other hand, these kind of things could turn for the worse so easily.
But you looked like a sincere person, someone who kept her part of the bargain.. so why not? Why not give it a try? Worse that could happen.. she could find you another job and get you transfered there.. HR did have its perks.
"Fine.." she mumbled, nodding along.
"Fine? Really?"
"Yes.. really, but first I want to read the contract.. just to make sure.."
"So.. you really are gonna make the deal.. just to be clear" you mumbled, before sliding to her the papers. You were persistent on this small important factor.
Sophia shook her head, giving you an exasperated smile "Yes silly, I will. Now give me some time to read through this.. you can come by the end of the day, when I am done."
"Okay.. fine by me" you nodded, standing up from the chair in an instant. You really wanted to get out of that office after that.
You only hoped.. prayed that she couldn't detect fear and embarrassement.. because God, you were feeling those things to the max right now. She was so good at her job, but somehow, deep down, you always felt like she was never truly satisfied with anything.
Whatever, better not to get into this kind of thing for your own good and sanity. HR was scary.. and so was Sophia herself.
---
"Can't believe boss really is going out on a date tonight."
"Wait.. she is going where?" you suddenly mumbled out, looking up from your computer. What was this about? A date?
Miranda, your co-worker, turned towards you, before giving you a quick grin "Boss is going on a date, a cute guy I hear.."
There was no way.. no way Sophia was actually going on a date with some random guy. She didn't tell you anything! Much less something involving.. a man. However, truth to be told, when you did meet.. you didn't really discuss things.. rather, you did the deed without much of a conversation going on.
But still.. this was a huge thing.. a date, with someone. It meant that there was something more going on between them, and you knew.. one thing could lead to another and like that, your deal would be off.
It had only been just 5 months, not years.. so why was she suddenly taking up dates from weirdos without telling you anything about it? Much less.. what if they ended up dating and you never knew about it? Oh lord, you didn't wanna go there, because it would only hurt you more. Your heart already pumping.
"How do you know this?" you asked Miranda, trying hard not to give any sign of distress.
"I heard.. rumors.. maybe her on the phone-"
"You spied on her?!"
"I didn't spy on her- I just happened to walk by as she was discussing about her date.. allegedly" she threw up her hands, in sign of peace. Peace my ass..
She was always so invasive with everyone, that was one thing you hated about her. That, and the fact that she stole your lunch meals whenever she felt like it.
Next to her, Felix shook his head, giving Miranda a stare down "You can't just eavesdrop on someone's conversation like that, what if she saw?"
"But she didn't, did she?"
"She still could've.. and you know how strict she is about workplace performance" you added, holding out your finger, like a wise old woman.
Miranda looked at the both of you, before scoffing like an eight year old, and folding her arms. Now, this wasn't much of your concern, she was always so spoiled. She grew up as an only child who thought everything had to be given to her.
It was a miracle how she ended up even working here, but you had guessed that Sophia didn't really do background checks on people.. because some of them were very.. questionable to say the least.
"Whatever.. you guys are not even funny."
"It's not about being funny, it's about boundaries" Felix pointed out, shaking his head.
"Boundaries you clearly don't have-"
"Oh shup up Y/N.. you are not much better."
"Excuse you?-" you were about to rumble on to her, when suddenly, from the corner of your eye, you saw a figure walking up the stairs.
"Who is that?" you asked, pointing at it.
Miranda and Felix immediately looked at where you were pointing. He was tall, had great hair.. a decent enough face.. he looked kind.. but there was something about him that you didn't quite like.. something that made you doubt.
Miranda was the first to speak out, giving you a squeal.. almost too loud, that made you flinch.
"Girl it's the guy I told you about."
"That? She is going on a date with him?"
"Yes, doesn't he look cute?"
You tilted your head, observing him. There really was nothing special about that man.. he was like any typical man you had the pleasure of meeting. Judging by his clothes though, he was rich, for sure. Just look at the watch he was sporting on his left hand. Typical man..
"Eh.."
"Eh? That's all?" Miranda huffed, giving you a slight push.
"Eh is good though!"
"Eh is what you give to someone that is ugly but you want to be nice, be honest now.. you don't like him, do you?"
There it was.. the accusation.. and with that tone too.. as if she knew everything about you. Ugh, your co-workers surely were a pain, a mental pain in your life.
"It's just.. I have a bad feeling about him, that's all."
"A bad feeling? He is not gonna kill someone" Felix mumbled, frowing at your remark.
True.. maybe he wasn't.. but.. who knew for sure? Plus, who even invited him here in the first place? This was the very first time you saw someone walk inside this company so calmly, as if he lived there.. how dare he..
Didn't he know who ran this place? Well, most likely he did..
God.. this feeling inside you was ugly.. it made you so angry.. so shameless.. so.. vulgar. To someone you didn't even know in the first place. It was as if.. something inside your stomach churned, burned.. all of the -ed.
Sensing what was happening to you, your co-workers immediately looked at each other, before looking back at you, smirks forming on their lips. Miranda especially, was feeling feisty.
"So.. I guess this has nothing to do.. with boss going on a date with him."
You turned around, looking at them, before shaking your head "What? No.. of course not."
But you knew.. you knew too well that those words, said with that tone.. only amplified their curiosity. You were not a good liar, never was.. your eyes would literally look everywhere except the person who was talking to you. And why? Because you were taught that lying was bad.
Yet, here you were.. keeping the biggest secret of them all.. that you were having sex with your boss..
Just as you were processing all of this, while your co-workers kept teasing you about Sophia.. the door to her office suddenly opened. Today, she looked even prettier than yesterday. So poised, so graceful, with high heels, a pencil skirt, a white shirt, and her hair pushed back in a bun, while a few strands of hair graced the front of her stunning face.
She knew she looked good and she wanted to show it to everyone.. especially you.. if you had to guess of course.
You couldn't quite grasp what they were talking about.. Sophia and that man. But judging by how he was basically touching her, without touching her, and her stance getting just the smallest bit defensive.. you could tell that he was flirting with her.. or at least trying.
At some point, that man told something that was apparently so funny, that Sophia had to grasp onto his arm, as she was laughing. throwing back her head. Something inside of you burned in that moment.. you felt uncomfortable sitting on the chair, you felt like you had to do something to stop this feeling.
But you couldn't, couldn't because one.. you were in the open.. two.. everyone was there.. and three.. you had no reason to be this mad. You two had a contract, but what you two were having was pure sex.. nothing more nothing less.
So to get jealous.. yes, you admit, it was jealousy.. it was not fair to you nor her.
Unfortunately, as you decided to look away, trying to calm yourself down, that was when Sophia turned around to look at you, just from the corner of her eye, and give you a small grin, that was only slightly noticable.
It was directed to you.. to you. Not to him.. not to anyone else. But to you.
And you understood immediately what this was.. this was a game. A game she was playing to make you jealous. This was what she planned. This was all planned by her to lose control.
How twisted was her mind to think about this? About doing this?
You couldn't lie though, that grin did make your heart flutter just the tiniest bit, and that, alongside your cheeks that were getting redder by the second, seemed to have satisfied Sophia enough, as she grabbed that man's hand and invited him inside her office.
Her office..
The one office that was reserved for the two of you..
Well.. two can play this damn game..
Unbestknown to you, while you were thinking this, your two co-workers, who stood there, taking it all in, shared knowing glances. This so what secret deal that you two made.. was soon gonna croll under its very fundamentals..
And you were in for a ride..
---
If making you jealous was her goal, she had succeeded. But that didn't mean that two couldn't play this game. Oh no..
Over the course of the next few weeks, you made it your mission to make her whole life a living hell. Whenever you two were together, you'd accidentally let slip that you had a new friend, named Megan. Truth to be told, you did have a friend named Megan.. but that was it. You two were just friends.
Nothing more, nothing less.
You perhaps had underestimated just how much Sophia took at heart what you said, because at first, she let it slide, as she kissed your neck, trying to make you forget of Megan, but as time passed.. aka, a few days turned into a week and so on.. she started to get more irrational.
She would look at you like you had grown a third head or something, and every time you'd sneak out of the office, she would follow you, making sure that you weren't 'running' anywhere else except your house.
The thing was.. this was a deal, wasn't it? A contract.. she had no business in being jealous over Megan, especially since she was the one that started it. She was at fault, because she wanted to play this game first.. you just followed her.
Perhaps she didn't think it through..
Sophia.. did not like to be jealous, that was a fact that everyone in her life knew. She'd admit, inviting Leon over to make you jealous was a bit childish, but this, what you were doing, was 10 times worse.
How dare you make a fool of her by.. talking about her when you two were having a private moment together? Especially in her office.. her secretive office.. had you no shame? Were you not embarrassed about bringing her up whenever you could? Saying how sweet she was because she paid for your food.
She could pay for your food too.. she just didn't think it was a requirement.. especially since that was not a clause you two agreed to add in the contract. If you wanted her to do that.. she would.. you just had to ask.. but you didn't..
And that bothered her.
One week.. was already hard enough.. but a whole month.. was torture.. so she decided to get to work. Not only did she force some of her workers to search for this Megan girl, but she also told them to go further than that and find any other girl linked to you, whether it be by blood of any other type of relationship.
She needed to know who was in your life and what kind of bond you had with them. That was normal right? People did that.. friends with benefits did that right?
"Are you sure ma'am about this?" one of her employees asked, bowing down out of respect.
Sophia didn't even spare a glance at him and just hummed "Does it look like I am not sure? Or do I have to repeat myself again?"
Her tone was cold, icy, so much so that the guy immediately shook his head "No- no absolutely not ma'am, I will get straight to work."
"Do that, and while you are at it.. please send in Miranda, thank you."
"Yes ma'am."
With that, he left, opting to not get her any madder. Sophia didn't look too good today. Her head was spinning, her mind was blurry, and she felt this big heavy sort of lumb inside of her stomach, if you could describe it that way.
She had heard beforehand, from one of your friends, that you were out with someone. They didn't really clarify who it was, so.. as a last minute result, she wanted to force it out of Miranda, since she was the one who knew gossip more than her own job.
"You called for me ma'am?" Miranda asked, as she entered the office, head low.
Sophia looked up from her computer and nodded "Yes, please sit down."
Immediately, the petite girl did just that, and placed her hands on her lap. Without anyone around her, she really did look small. But that was it, wasn't it? Being small meant she could easily spy on people, intrude into their conversations without being noticed.
A perfect little mouse.
"So.. you must be wondering why I called you here."
"As a matter of fact I am-"
"Let me cut to the chase then, to save us both time" she cut her off, holding up a hand "I heard that you spy on people around the office."
"I- I.. it was only one time ma'am-"
"I am not here to judge you, I couldn't care less about what you do as long as it doesn't interfier with your work.. however, I did ask you to come here for something."
Miranda looked at her, eyes widening at the approach she was going for. She had thought that Sophia was gonna skin her alive for her well.. not so great attitude and behaviour around the office. Instead.. she didn't look bothered at all.. much less annoyed..
Sensing that Miranda wanted her to continue, she nodded "So.. I saw that you are rather.. close to Y/N, aren't you?"
"Oh yes, we are like.. this, me and her" she held up two fingers, twisting them together.
Sophia nodded, satisfied "Good.. so then.. it wouldn't hurt you to say.. tell me more about her, would it?"
"But.. why ma'am? Oh my God, do you want to fire her? Is that why you called me in here-"
"Do not jump to conclusions like that.. no, I do not want to fire her. I just want to know about her.. say.. life."
"Life? What about it?" Miranda tilted her head, confused.
"Like.." she sighed "Who she went out with today, because she didn't really tell me about this.. and as her boss.. I should know."
Miranda looked at you for a second too long, before a smirk appeared on her face. Well, she did have her suspicions. She was not blind, she knew something was happening between the two of you. She just didn't think it would've gone this far..
"Well.. if I must say.. I heard that she went out with Lara."
Lara? Now who the fuck was Lara? First Megan and now Lara?
"Lara? Who is that?" she must've looked absolutely mad, because Miranda couldn't stop the laugh that slipped out of her lips.
"Oh boss, she is just one of Megan's friends, she wanted to introduce her to Y/N."
Uh.. so you two were that close.. you and Megan.. so much so that now her friends were your friends? So much for being.. just a friend. You sure had a lot to explain to her.. and trust.. you would, because one thing Sophia didn't like.. were secrets. And people touching what she presumed as hers.
---
You were fucked.. you were fucked because you fucked around and found out.
So.. it looked like Sophia didn't enjoy the prank you pulled on her, because the next day, as you walked to work, she pulled you inside her private office, closing the door, locking the both of you there.
Let's just say, what happened was not entirely friendly, it was just afterwards, when you were putting your clothes back on, and noticing all the marks she left on your neck and shoulders, that you realized just what this was. She was trying to somehow 'mark' territory.. as if she were an animal of some kind.
And you had to give it to her, she had very strong teeth, because those marks were nasty. Much worse, she did that just before work could start, so that day, you had to face everyone for the entire day while pretending not to see them glance at the marks.
Miranda knew immediately what had happened, because her smirk kept growing more and more by the minute. You were about to literally jump her, because of how careless she had been with you. How could she just tell Sophia everything like that? You had confied in her.
In the end.. you really had no friends uh? Such assholes, ready to make your life a living hell, just for a bit of fun.
After that, this became your sort of routine, you'd get to work, Sophia would be there waiting for you, she'd pull you towards her office and for the sake of it, leave marks everywhere she could. If the pre-existing marks hadn't fully healed yet, she would just mark over them, to make them even worse.. last even longer.
She really had no shame whatoever, and it was starting to become apparent that what she was feeling, deep inside, was not really just lust, but rather.. something more deep, more sincere. She just didn't have the guts to say it.
"Why did you have to wear your hair down today?" she asked, as her lips planted on your neck.
"I thought you'd appreciate it, considering how much of a pain you became these past few weeks."
Suddenly, Sophia pulled her head back, looking down at you with furrowed brows. How dare you say that to her. She was still your damn boss afterall.
"I am not a pain.."
"You made your employees search for my personal info."
"It is not personal if it is out there in the open."
"Still a violation of privacy, considering that they had to dig deep into finding it."
Sophia pressed her lips together, before sighing in defeat. Fine, you had won this round. It was true, she couldn't deny it. She was bad at controlling her jealousy, especially if it was over you.
"I had no other choice.."
"Talking to me was a choice."
"I couldn't do that."
"Why? Because I wouldn't have told you either way?"
"Because you like seeing me like this" she replied, looking down at your lips, then back up at your eyes.
Oh, you knew what she was doing alright..
You sighed gently, tilting your head up just enough, just enough to show her your neck "If only you could be honest with your feelings.."
"I am honest with my feelings" she said immediately, a bit defensive, if you must say so.
You wanted to laugh, laugh at her face, because let's be honest.. she was not.. and was never with you.
"You are literally lying right now-"
"Am not-"
"You are! You are scared to admit you like me.. scared to admit that this.. this little secret between the two of us.. you want to make public, because you want everyone to see me being yours" you whispered, close to her face, as your eyes searched for hers.
She took in a deep breath, almost closing her eyes, before she shook her head gently "It's not true.."
"Fine.. if it is not true then.. let's break it off" you mumbled, already getting up from the desk you had been sitting on.
That seemed to have done the trick, because in an instant, her hands flew towards you, grabbing your waist and pulling you back into her orb. Uh.. today she decided to wear a very pleasant perfume..
"Fine- fine sorry- I didn't mean that."
You snickered slightly, turning towards her and humming "About damn time, don't you think?"
"Shut up.. you know I don't express easily my feelings" she pouted, slightly, as her hold on you tightened.
"Yeah.. true.. but if you just tried, I am sure you would succeed."
"Then what should we do uh? About this whole deal?"
Mhm, good question, what should you do? You two pretty much had already crossed each boundary you set for yourselves.. was there anything else to do except well.. go for the easy and quick route?
"Well" you mumbled, tilting your head left and right "How about this.. let me treat you to a nice dinner.. and see how things go from there?"
"Dinner? Us? Are you serious?"
"Wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't.. now would I?" you smirked slightly, tapping her chin with your finger.
That seemed to have worked enough, enough for her to let out a laugh and nod "Fine.. I accept your invite.. though.. I will pay."
"Ay.. always wanted a sugar mommy" you cooed, placing your arms around her neck, bringing her in.
"Don't push it now.."
"Uff.. fine boss.." you mumbled, before finally closing the distance between the two of you, kissing her lips gently.. slowly.. like you had all the time in the world.. because you sort of did.
Was this messy? Was this a bad idea? Maybe.. but you were never really good at deciding. In the end though, it sorta worked out. You two did go on a date, that turned into two.. and around 4 months later, she asked for your hand in marriage.
Crazy how life worked.. one day you were hired to work for a company you didn't know anything about.. then the next, you found yourself in a sex contract with your boss.. same boss you ended up marrying in the long run.. just after 4 months of dating..
Who knows what the future will hold for you two, but you have a feeling that no matter what happens, if she is there with you, then you will gladly accept it.. because life is not as fun without your precious Sophia.
Ps.. of course.. in the long run.. you two had a child together, a cute little girl named Miranda, who was the perfect copy of Sophia.. safe to say the Godmother was ecstatic about the name..
Current taglist: @ctrlamira @thevisionofafeline @sadbone8--8 @arcwrites0609 @jhgifdbki @marvelwomen-simp @uglyr3ader
I'll be honest.. this is a post to kind of vent.. I haven't really talked about Katseye in a long time, and because I am mainly focusing on just writing fics and whatnot.. so I have forgotten about the lore but..
Atp.. what can we say? Everything is a mess.. everyone seems like they are so tired.. the girls seem tired and I know for a fact they most likely are..
Now an influencer exposed Lara and Megan's business bc of course he is a cloud chaser and they thought they could've trusted him but yk, those people are like that..
Some say it is Geffen, some say it is Hybe.. most likely it is both of them. The hate the GIRLS are getting online because of this is tremendous, not considering the fact that most likely they also CANNOT say anything because of contracts.. everyone likes to say that they wouldn't do that, but if they were in that position, I guarantee that they would've.. let's be real.. we are not as tough as we say we are.
We have the balls to say this because we think that we are stronger than them, but the reality is not that. We are humans, we can get weak, we are weak to norms.. to life. And them following a contract is not being weak.
We are too comfortable bashing people for something when we know.. we do stuff that is most likely 10 times worse. Let's please fall from the high horse okay? Let's be honest.
Everyone is quick to judge, yet nobody has the decency or patience to say: hey, let's see how it goes.. or.. hey, maybe it is not their fault, it is their company, let's not hate on the girls for something they couldn't stop.
And I admit, I am not perfect, nobody is. I too get attached to stuff, I too am irrational at times. But for the love of God, at least do not hate the girls for this.
Hate the company, don't hate the girls. You can clearly see that they are struggling, and instead of yk, being emphatic.. many are just deciding to critique them.
If you don't like the songs.. that is fine, I don't like those 2 songs myself. But hating on the girls because of the songs when they clearly didn't have almost any control on them?
Get out of the bubble that is Twitter or X or whatever.. and start to see people as human beings rather than just products to use and discard, or hate like no tomorrow.
This is all..
Just, support them if you want to, don't if you don't want to.. respect them as people, respect them as human beings.
I'd say just.. don't support those companies.. it's like a disease at this point.. eating you until you are drained..
Synopsis: as Saint Valentine starts to roll around, your class decided to do something different.. this will bring unresolved issues to life for sure.. AKA, your class decided to do a kissing booth and you volunteered..
Warnings: not really angst, not really fluff, bad communication.. coming out.. normal stuff.. THIS IS FICTION
Words: 6.5k
Part I
As winter break came to an end, so did your confused feelings for one Yoonchae. You had spent the holidays doing what your family thought was best for you.. like, go out to eat, go ice skating, among other things. Though, your mind always went back to that one day.
Perhaps you had been too hard on her? But then again, why live a lie, right? That was what she said herself to you.. you were not being a bitch, you were trying to cope with your feelings in your own way.. which sure, was not the healthiest mechanism but, it worked for you.
Talking about holidays, you stayed in touch with Bora and Yuna. They had spent their break away from the city, their families could afford to visit their relatives pretty often.. were you jealous? Of course not.. you were not broke.. you came from a middle class family.
It was better like this, you thought, in a way, because you could process the whole situation better. You needed the time alone to come clean with your emotions. That was what was important.
School felt somewhat quieter, when you returned. Although nothing changed, the tension you felt inside class was more relevant. Joon and Yoonchae stopped seeing each other, as she had told you. And whenever your eyes landed on him, he always looked so.. sad.. but with a tang of something that correlated to anger.
Ugh, you hated that kind of anger from men.
Still, you opted to not pay attention to them, it was useless. You were done with crushing on Yoonchae, and you were instead ready to face the rest of the year without anyone disturbing you. Luckily it was Senior year so.. you weren't all that free, you had to study to get into a good University afterall.
What did you want to do? Mhm, well.. you did like the arts.. perhaps you could do that, but then again, what could you do in the end with an Art degree? What about marketing? Ugh, you hated numbers though..
There was not a lot of options open for you really. You weren't bad, but you weren't good at anything in particular either. Something must be there for you to do, without working too hard or straining yourself..
Whatever, you'd ask Bora and Yuna for their opinion, they were smart, no?
Slowly, the first month of school passed with a blink of an eye, and finally, it was February. Ah, February.. the month of.. love, and other stupid stuff like that. No, you were not against love, you simply, didn't know why you'd waste time on it when you could use that time for something else.
"So.. any Valentine?" Bora asked, as she sat down across you, at the cafeteria.
Yuna joined her after a few seconds, looking at Bora with a sour expression "Really?"
"What?"
"Don't what me, you know why I asked you that" Yuna mumbled, pinching Bora on the arm.
The girl winced back, giving her a small scowl "That hurts-"
"If this is about Yoonchae then you can drop the act.. no, no Valentine.. I don't think I will ever have one" you hummed, picking at your food, before sighing.
It was true.. you didn't care.. you were already moving on..
Like her, clearly.. because she looked everything except disturbed by your last encounter. Did she even care about how she had made you feel? And kept making you feel? No, God, you couldn't go into that perspective, otherwise you weren't any better than Joon.
Who of course, looked like he was about to snap any day by now.
Yuna noticed you being in your thoughts, and snapped her fingers in front of your face.
"Y/N? You okay?"
"Why does everyone keep asking me that, I am fine."
"You don't look fine" Bora mumbled, as she took a sip from her straw.
Yuna turned towards her and gave her a death glare, hitting her gently on the head.
"Stop torturing our friend, she is hurting-"
"How is it my fault- also, OW!"
"Well, we helped in this-"
"Now wait a second- I only suggested-"
And so they kept going. To be fair, you stopped listening, the moment their voices started to rise above normal. You just.. didn't want to get into the past any longer. It was.. so tiring, to say the least, to relieve it on loop.
God, what were you gonna do? Were you gonna be anything in your life? Was it a lot to ask to be.. happy?
Happy.. happy.. wait.
Suddenly, though, an idea popped in your mind. Your class was gonna do a special event for Saint Valentine's day, right? So.. what if you proposed yourself as a volunteer? It would beat being single and lonely.
Yes, that was the perfect idea. Good job Y/N.. well, you were already feeling better.. your eyes seemed to sparkle more and more, and your heart, made a thud of agreement.
---
A month, or so, since that day.. if she had to guess, who knows, she never kept record of such things. So.. here she was, in the empty yard, waiting for someone. God, how did she fall so low.
He was already 2 minutes late, and she was starting to feel the frustration bubbling in her. If only he hadn't begged her to come just to explain himself, she could've been at home, studying or something. But no, she was here, suffering because of him.
She looked down at her phone.. 5 minutes, great, where was that boy.. nowhere to be found. She turned around, ready to leave, when she felt a hand grab her arm. Immediately, because of reflexes, she pulled away, almost in disgust, as if his touch was disgusting..
He must've felt it too, because next thing she knew, he apologized and walked around her, facing her. God, he looked like a mess. His hair was all ruined, his clothes? In the same conditions. Did he even take care of himself anymore?
"You have 10 minutes" she declared, as she folded her arms. She was serious, and was ready to just leave.
His eyes widened for just a second, before he cleared his voice "Yoonchae.. I just want to tell you that-"
"If this is about the drawings, I already told you, I won't forgive you, nor do I care. So let me spare us both time."
"No- I mean, yes, it is about that but I really want to apologize-"
"You already did" she cut him off, sighing in frustration. Her patience was starting to croll. God, why was she so mad? Oh.. that's why..
"And I did not accept your apology, so that's it, no? That's what there is to it. You have to move on from this, because quite frankly, you are starting to be annoying. Spamming me, texting me like an idiot, as if that is gonna change my decision. I was hurt, and I learned from it" she continued, moving slightly her head left and right, making her ponytail dance.
Joon kept quiet, his mouth agape, as his eyes widened. Never in his life had he seen her.. being this cold to anyone.. especially him! Where was the sweet Yoonchae? The one that liked him? The one that he kissed in Novemeber? Was she gone?
"Yoonchae.. we have gone through a lot.."
"We have literally dated for just a month, get a grip."
"That month meant something to me though, and it did to you too, you cannot lie to me."
Yoonchae sighed, tapping her foot impatiently, he was not gonna give up uh? She felt her cheeks start to hotten up, how had she ever felt something for him? Were all those moments lies? All those heart beats, sweaty hands..
Looking at him right now, she only felt one thing.. disgust.
And not only at him, but herself too.. for having fallen for someone who lied to her, who was this desperate, who couldn't take a fucking no. Who thought the only way to get her was to take the work of someone else and trace it as his.
"What it meant to me.. in the past.. does not mean the same thing to me right now" she said, slowly, as she approached him.
His eyes shut for a second, before he regained his composure "Is this because I couldn't draw? Is it because of that? I will draw some sketches right now, I took lessons-"
"Can you even hear yourself? You are so delusional. You keep missing the point. I don't care if you took lessons now" she scoffed, rolling her eyes at him.
"Then.. is it.. because, it was a woman? Uh?"
Yoonchae's eyes squinted, at the audacity this boy had right now. What was he even trying to say, she didn't know. What mattered if you were a woman or not? Also, how did he know that it was you? No, he didn't know, he just assumed it was a woman..
"What?"
"Is it because your admirer is a woman? Because of that?"
"How does that even matter right now, this isn't about whether it is a woman or not Joon."
"But it could be, because there is no other explanation. You are not a lesbian, you do not like women, you told me yourself" he said, as his tone started to become more desperate.
Among the things she was feeling, another one added itself, like that.. and it was rage. How dare he say that, how dare he presume anything about her like that?
"Hey" she started, unfolding her arms and glaring up at him with ice cold eyes "Whether I like women or not is none of your business, this is none of your business."
Joon looked down at her, a hint of fear appearing on his face, before he scoffed slightly "So what? You changed squads now? Uh? Is that what you are? A lesbian?"
The way he said it, like it was a taunt, like being of a different sexual orientation was a joke to him, made Yoonchae snap.. and like that, she hit him in the face, hard.. so hard that it left a big imprint on his left cheek.
And the sound that it made.. Lord, it traveled at the speed of light for sure.
"How dare you" she said, slowly, almost as if she was spitting at him "How dare you make fun of someone like that? Do not ever come near me again, or I will tell everyone what you did and said."
With that, she finally left, with her chest feeling more at ease. Something though, in the back of her head, seemed to scream something.. why did she get so angry at this? Why did she let her emotions take a toll on her?
She never did in the past..
Was it because.. when he said that.. she imagined herself saying the same things to you? What if what she said to you.. felt the same way she felt in that moment? Fuck.. had she been this horrible to you?
Or was it perhaps.. that she imagined you when he was talking about lesbians? If that was the case.. then.. she cared more about you than she had ever anticipated.
God, her heart burned just by thinking of you, and that day. Sometimes, she missed reading those small notes and looking at those cute drawings and sketches you did of her. Somehow, they always made her feel better inside, no matter what the day had planned for her.
She was in too deep, fuck..
Get a grip, Yoonchae.
---
The kissing booth looked prettier than you had imagined. Nari, the class president, did tell you that it was gonna be big, but not this big.
You had imagined something small, not that imponent, yet, you were witnessing a large booth, the size of Japan at this point. Still, not bad at all. It was cute, all pink and red, with a lot of hearts placed around it.
You were there because the event committee had opted to make you wear a very specific costume for Saint Valentine's day, so, they had to take your measurements beforehand. Was it embarrassing? Yeah, kinda.. to stand there while they did all the work..
But, in the end, when all was said and all was done, you walked out of the classroom with a sigh of relief.. only to be attacked by two monsters.
"Heeeeeeeeey" Bora excitedly shouted, as she threw her arm around your shoulders "How is our Cinderella doing?"
"As bad as you see me right now" you mumbled, looking down at the pavement.
"Stop torturing her Bora" Yuna rolled her eyes, walking towards you "How is the booth?"
"Huge."
"So it will be just you though?" Bora asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Uh no.. it is one boy and one girl, so I got paired with Eun-woo."
"Oooh, he is handsome, I am sure you will look good together" Yuna commented, giving you a small wink.
Ugh, you felt yourself wrinkle your face. It wasn't that you didn't like Eun-woo.. just.. you didn't really like boys like that..
"Relax Y/N.. Eun-woo actually likes boys" Bora mumbled, shrugging her shoulders.
"Wait.. really?!" your eyes widened, as you stared at them both.
"Girl yeah, he had been open about this for ages now, everybody knows" Yuna added, with a smile.
Uh.. and nobody bat an eye? Well, to be fair, a few people in school knew you liked women, but not the whole damn school.. weird.. he was very brave for sure. You'd die if everyone found out, for sure.
"I guess I never noticed.. so wait.. how are we supposed to do this?"
"Easy, you kiss whoever pays you, well, not fully kiss them, just.. a small peck really" Bora mumbled, waving a hand around, as if it was nothing.
Yuna gave her another cold glare, before looking at you "Just do it if you feel comfortable, that's all Y/N. If you don't, you can refuse and just give them back their money."
"Mhm, sounds easy enough.."
"Remember we will be there to help you" Yuna said, giving your hand a squeeze.
"Plus, if someone keeps persisting, we will just beat their ass."
"That too."
Okay, it was not that bad. You could totally do it. Just give them a peck and move on with life. Maybe you'll find someone cute too, who knows? Still, there was this small.. uh.. problem..
You weren't.. the most.. beautiful person in school. You had your own beauty for sure but.. you were overall, average. You didn't stand out. So what if in the end, nobody came for a kiss and you ended up not getting any money? That would be so embarrassing, considering you volunteered for the class.. for that reason too.
Well, you'd try your best, and that was all that counted right? Trying your best and be happy.
So yeah, if in the end you didn't win anything, or gain anything at all, you'd be happy nonetheless, because it was an experience.. and a great middle finger to the past that kept coming back every single night as you tried to go to sleep.
---
Your parents tried.. so did your brother.. but it was clear as day.. you weren't the type to easily flirt with someone.
And that was just the facts really. When you smiled, you looked awkward, when you waved, you looked awkward, when you moved.. you looked awkward. Overall, yeah you were awkward. But not the endearing kind of awkward, but the kind that makes you want to crawl back to your room and never get out.
"You have to stand up straight" your mother would gush out, as she fixed your posture.
"No no, you have to smile more honey" your father would retort, pinching your cheeks.
"You got it all wrong" your brother would interrupt "She needs to compliment them-"
And so on.. without a break, for over 5 hours. In the end, what did you learn? To just.. be yourself? I guess?
It didn't really matter, because your tiny brain wouldn't have been able to remember anything they had said either way. You were too spaced out, thinking about the event, to really care about these small details.
When the day arrived, the air around school seemed to have changed into something unfamiliar.. unpleasant. Didn't these kids know that this institute had rules about how boys and girls had to act? Absolutely disgusting.
"Ugh, I feel I am being pinched by millions of ants" you mumbled, as you fixed your dress. While it was pretty.. and cute.. it still fit wrong. Just how hard was it to get the right measurements? Yes, they were students but God, if someone was a size 10, you wouldn't give them a size 8.. cmon now!
"Oh don't worry, you'll get used to it by the time you are there" Yuna tried to assure you, gently patting your shoulder.
Bora, on the other hand, scanned the classroom. Nobody was yet in sight, because this was meant to be a surprise, even for them. So, how would you get to the booth without being seen? Well, the classroom was actually connected, weirdly enough, to another classroom that was gonna host the event, so all you had to do really, was walk there.. where everyone was waiting for you.
Sure, you were not gonna be alone but.. it still felt weird, in a way.
"Don't want to molest you, but it's time" Bora suddenly mumbled, tilting her head.
She was right, it was time..
"Okay, yeah, let's do this then" you nodded, as you stood up, almost tripping over the heels they had you wearing.
"Woah, easy there Y/N, wouldn't want you to get a sprained ankle.." Yuna placed her hand behind your back, gently.
"I'm okay.. I'm okay.. don't worry."
"What are you gonna do with Yoonchae?"
"What is there to do with her Bora? Why does she matter in this?"
"She always does, and she is gonna be there herself, whether you like it or not" she pointed out, glancing up at you.
You sighed, biting your lower lip. Did you want to face her? I mean, during the last month, you were stuck together, and nothing happened.. so why would now?
"Well" you started, slowly "This is really none of her business."
Yuna looked at you, tilting her head to the side and sighing, like an old mother or something "Y/N.. you can't run away forever from her.."
"I am not running away though."
"You are just avoiding her-" Bora tried to say, but you cut her off.
"As if she has not done the same."
Both girls fell silent, as you spit out what was the real and cold truth. Yoonchae herself, was avoiding you. So why pray tell, should you care if she was there or not to witness you kiss people? Like, let's be real. She never liked you to begin with. Maybe if you were a boy..
"Y/N..." Yuna started, before she closed her mouth and nodded.
God knows what your friends were thinking in that moment. It was better not to know really.
Your eyes went to them, left and right, almost trying to telepatically tell them to stop talking about her, because she was your past. She was definitely not your future. The future that you wanted at least.
"If she does come near me.. then you two will just distract her, okay?"
Bora hummed, looking down at her phone, while Yuna just bit her lower lip, but in the end, agreed nonetheless. Good, finally some good fucking dialogue.
"Good, now let's get going.. I am gonna throw myself out of the window if I have to wear this itchy dress in this awkward silence."
You had underestimated the actual pull the booth was gonna receive. Because looking at it now.. you were amazed by.. the sheer amount of people lining up to try their luck with it. Eun-woo was standing next to you, with a huge charismatic smile on his face.
If you weren't interested in women, you definitely would've fallen for him too. No wonder all the ladies.. and a lot of men secretly, liked him. Oh.. those poor girls..
"Don't get too anxious, it is not that bad once you get the hang of it" he mumbled, close to you, as you turned to glance up at him.
From the inside, this was a simple word of advice, you know, from colleagues.. but from the outside.. it actually looked more intimate than it really was. So much so that you heard a small crowd of girls gushing at how cute you two looked.
Weirdly enough..
You didn't let that weight you down though. You just nodded at him kindly, giving him a small smile, as the first round of people walked in to get their 'service'.. or in this case, your service..
Eun-woo could tell from the start though that you weren't liking the first costumer, and were rather uncomfortable with the idea of kissing him. It was just then that he realized something.. you didn't really.. understand what kissing meant.. at least here.
You had always watched shows that did have a kissing booth, so you assumed that it meant to kiss the guy or girl.. on the lips.. rather than somewhere else. And of course, that would've worked in say, America.. but well, this was not America.
"Y/N.." he mumbled, really lowly. Enough for you to hear, but not for the other two.
You turned around, looking at him confused, before he gave you a smile and mouthed the words "On the cheek."
Your face went red, the second you realized what that meant. Fuck.. you had it all wrong- oh God, this was really embarrassing from your part. How could you have been so stupid!
With this newly acquired information, and your newly profound confidence.. the event turned to be a success! So much so that the line got progressively worse.. longer. Everyone wanted the service. You named someone, and most likely, you or Eun-woo had already kissed them on the cheek.
"Look at her go.." Bora mumbled, looking at you unimpressed "She really thinks she got it all now."
Yuna hit her gently on the head, giving her a glance "Be nice, she does have it all now. Let her live her moment of glory."
"Ouch- stop doing that!"
"Then you stop being mean-"
"How am I mean? I am just very.. supportive... in my own way" Bora gave her a small smirk, which ended up being wiped the second Yuna flicked her forehead.
These two always had a banter with each other, but you knew deep down.. like everyone else did.. that they did love and cherish each other. Like.. friends.. best friends.. yeah, you said it all now..
"Speaking of mean.." Bora mumbled, looking up from Yuna, at someone, standing rather quietly, at the corner of the classroom.
Yuna turned around, confused, as her eyes landed on none other than her..
Of course.. she really was here. What was she doing here? Okay granted, she was in the class.. but she disliked San Valentines, from what she had said in the past. So pray tell, why was she so interested suddenly in.. this event?
God, if looks could kill, all the guys and girls in line would've been dead by now. Yoonchae was not sparing anyone. Frankly.. it was sort of funny to see. Yes, she looked scary but she also looked adorable.
"How long has she been there for?" Yuna asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Since the beginning I suspect.. although, I have only seen her now.. she is good at hiding I guess."
"Mhm.. so much for not liking girls uh?"
"Oh please, she totally does, otherwise why would she be looking like a jealous cat?"
"You can be jealous without being romantically attracted to someone" Yuna pointed out, almost getting defensive.
"Yeah.. sure, but not in this case. Look at her Yuna.. she is seething in rage and frustration. That is not the look of someone who sees her as just a 'friend'."
"You would know about that uh, wouldn't you?" Yuna gave her a smirk, before chuckling at the scowl that appeared on Bora's face.
"Low blow Yuna.. low blow.."
---
Yoonchae couldn't explain it herself. This was totally unrational, totally against her morals. Why was she standing there, looking at you, all while feeling this new emotion inside of her rise more and more? It was not fair.
You looked perfect, today, in her eyes. Your hair looked so soft, probably was soft to the touch too. Your dress, that she presumed was too small, still gave you that cute aura that she couldn't take her eyes off.
Eun-woo looked.. okay.. if she had to really say. Nothing about him stood out to her. Sure, he was handsome, she always knew that. But next to you.. he looked.. so bland. No emotions, no cuteness.. no feelings invoked in her.
She had not been there since the beginning.. she quietly crept in as the first guys in line stepped into the classroom. She lied to her friends, saying she had forgotten something there, when in reality, she just wanted to see how the event was going.
Lies.. lies on top of other lies.
Ever since that afternoon with Joon, her feelings started to change. Her heart didn't feel alive, anymore. Everything felt sort of numb. The only thing that could bring her back to life, make her blood flow, was the last letter you had sent her. The only letter she managed to preserve from you. From your fury..
She heard that you had apperantely.. burned the other ones.. from your friends. Okay, she had been eavesdropping, but nonetheless.. something inside her, cracked in that moment. Her eyes started to feel heavy, just as her legs did too. She felt so numb, so out of this world. She couldn't hear the others talking around her. And she even ended up going to the nurse.
She had underestimated just how much power you had over her- God, it was bad to say.. but she missed those times. When she didn't know who you were..
But.. living a lie was not her ideal of life. She wanted.. no.. needed to know. And in the end, she was the one who broke something good. Did she hate herself for that? Not really, but she did dislike how she handled it all.
Whatever, it was pointless to reminisce about the past right? She had done that far too many times. And the only thing that helped her calm down.. really was the last drawing you did of her, the last letter.. the one she kept close to her heart..
The one she always took to school, so she could gaze at it whenever the pain was too much. The one that she refused to make her siblings read, even her own parents.. because of embarrassment. Not that it helped, because her mother had found it one day as she was cleaning. And well, she couldn't hide the truth from her mother.
Funnily enough, it was her sister and mother who talked to her about this, about her feelings. At first, she was closed, she didn't want to say anything, admit anything.. but with a bit of convincing, she opened up.
"I don't know what to do.. I.. I feel like a part of me is broken" she had confessed to them, in a moment of vulnerability.
Her sister had grabbed her hand, bringing her eyes to hers "What you are feeling Yoonchae.. is loss.. loss of someone you cared about."
"But I do not care about her like that- she is a girl-"
"So? Love doesn't know gender.. doesn't know boundary.. it just happens. We may never really know why in the end.. but all that matters.. is that you accept that part of yourself."
"Your sister is right.. just because Y/N is a girl, that doesn't change that what you are feeling is love.. we would never discriminate against that.. you know that" her mother had added, placing her own hand on top of her daughters.
In that moment, Yoonchae, had not been held by both women, would've hit the ground crying. Instead, she was welcomed by loving hands, telling her that everything was gonna be fine and that they were glad that everything got sorted out.
She was glad, so glad.. that she had a family that could've supported her the way she needed. Because this revelation, just shook her to her core. So.. she liked everyone.. that was weird.. because she was never exposed to this kind of thing.. Korea was still very sheltered.
And now, looking at you, everything clicked in place. This.. what she was feeling, was none other than jealousy. Jealousy over everyone thinking that they had a chance with you, when she had one herself, and let it slip away.
No, this was not gonna happen again.
She was trying her best, really, to remain quiet, and just watch, but everything got too much.. when suddenly, as the event was starting to clear up, everyone that gathered, started to chant for you to kiss Eun-woo, even though, you were looking rather uncomfortable.
That jealousy bubbled in her, starting to burn too much.. it almost set her on fire. And when she saw that Eun-woo put his crusty hands on your arms, bringing you closer. She had lost it.
She marched towards you, pushing the people away, and in a quick motion, grabbed your arm, pulling you away, and out of the room. Let's just say that the guests stayed quiet, for a few seconds, before they erupted in loud 'Ooooh's or 'Aaaaaaaaaaah's.
It became a whole spectical, even getting recorded and uploaded online, just for the sake of it. So embarrassing really, but she didn't care in that moment. She had to talk to you.. and she had had enough of everyone getting their turn with you, when she was waiting for hers.
"Fucking called it.."
"Shut up Bora."
---
"Yoonchae- Yoonchae wait-" you tried to protest, but her grip was far too strong.
Finally, though, after a few seconds, as she reached for an empty classroom, she pulled back, turning around to look at you. God, her eyes looked red.. actually. As if she was seething from the inside.
Yikes..
"That was so unappropriate for you to do."
"Yeah? Well I wouldn't have had to do that if you hadn't put yourself in such position."
"What?!" you almost yelled out. How dare she say what you could or couldn't do.
Yoonchae must've realized what she said, because next thing she did, was push her hair back, almost in regret.
"I am sorry- I didn't mean it that way-"
"Then how did you mean it uh? Because all I see is a child throwing a tantrum."
"Me? Throwing a tantrum?!"
"Yes, you throwing a tantrum. If you wanted my service then all you had to fucking do was pay the damn toll, or is that too hard for you uh?" you mumbled, looking up at her, as you took a few steps closer.
Her eyes squinted, just slightly, before she reached for her purse and pulled out money.. actual fucking money "You want me to pay? Fine, I will pay, I will pay the stupid toll and all the others to have you listen to me right now."
She shoved 20.000 won into your hands, actually 20.000 fucking won, and placed a hand on her hip, looking at you as if you had now to do your part of the deal. Was the concept of money foreign to her, to actually just shove around so much money like that? Granted, it was 10 euros but still-
"Yoonchae-" you tried to say, looking down then back up at her, in shock.
Unfortunately, she must've not understood what that meant, because what she did next, was the craziest thing immaginable. She reached for her wallet again.
"Not enough? Fine then, here, take all my money" she mumbled, pushing towards you bank note after bank note. At one point, you thought you literally had around 100 euros in your hands.
Had this girl no shame for real?
She was seriously treating this as a matter of.. money? Were you just that to her? Something to pay so that you could do as she wanted? Oh hell nah.
"I don't want your stupid money Yoonchae" you pushed back, furrowing your brows at her.
Yoonchae looked back at you with a sigh, before she once more pushed the money in your hands "I don't care, keep it, it's yours now."
"What would I even do with all of this?"
"How about buying yourself a cane so that you can push away your admirers? Mhm? I think that is a good idea" she mumbled, as her arms folded against her chest, making her hair slightly frizzle.
Wait.. was she seriously.. jealous of them right now? No way.. Yoonchae, 'I like boys' Yoonchae, was being jealous over you having kissed people at the event? What happened to the last time you two talked, what happened to the whole 'I cannot like girls?'.
God, was she so inconsiderate that she didn't even hear herself? Most likely, because just a few seconds later, she grabbed your arm once more, and yanked you gently towards a random chair, forcing you to sit down.
You did, because truth of the matter, after what she just said, a bit of rage left your body. Why? Perhaps it was the slight pout that appeared on her face, or perhaps it was how she was trying to say in her own words what she was feeling. Though you could tell, she was not good at it.. at all.
"For liking only boys, you sure go against your morals a lot Yoonchae" you mumbled under your breath, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow.
Yoonchae squinted once more her eyes, before she look to the side. Yeah, avoiding eye contact uh? Typical. Typical behaviour of someone who was trying to save their ass.
"It's not like that.."
"But it is.. otherwise why would you have forced me here?"
"I didn't force you-"
"You did" you cut her off, placing the money on the desk in front of you, just so you could stand up and point at her. Although you had a small height difference, you still managed to get her attention.
"You literally grabbed my arm and walked me here so, if that is not forcing someone then I don't know what it is-"
"I had a reason though" she huffed out, fixing her hair, on reflex.
"A reason.. really?" you wanted to laugh, because what was this even about? What was she even trying to do right now? Toy once more with you? This proved absolutely nothing. She had not changed at all "Because all I see is someone who is scared and afraid to be honest with her own feelings."
Yoonchae looked again to the side, taking in a deep breath. By her posture, you could tell she was feeling awkward.. really awkward. But she persisted, because in the end, she couldn't let this go any longer than it did.
"I like you.. okay?"
Silence.. the room fell into a deep rooted silence, which was only broken when you shook your head.
"No."
"What? What do you mean no?"
"I mean no, you don't like me" you repeated, pointing a finger at her "You are only saying this because you got jealous today-"
"I did get jealous but it is also true that I like you!" Yoonchae said, rising her voice just slightly. Enough for you to notice, but not enough for someone else walking by to hear.
If she liked you.. really did like you.. then why had she been toying with you all this time? Why had she not done anything at all during the whole month you two weren't talking? Sure, maybe she was conflicted, or had other things to think about.. but wasn't love the most powerful force in the world? The most powerful emotion, feeling, in the world?
So how come.. it wasn't enough for her?
"Then why didn't you talk to me in the past month uh? Why had you kept quiet, rather than telling me?" it sounded too pure for your liking. Too sweet.. even if you tried to make it sound scary.. judgy..
Yoonchae stared back at you, for a few seconds, before lowering her hands "Because.. because I didn't know yet that I liked you.."
"So that means you don't really like me."
"What?" her eyes widened in confusion and frustration "I just said to you that I recently realized I liked you, and you don't believe me?"
"How can I believe you when all you did was keep quiet? Didn't you say it yourself? That you hated living a lie? So how come you let me live one myself?"
The question was too personal.. it hit too close to home for Yoonchae, so much so that her hands formed small punches. Her heart felt like it was burning, but not the good kind, rather, the one that made you want to rip it out and hand it to someone else. Maybe that was the best option right now..
Yeah.. she had been wrong for staying quiet.. but how could she? This.. was still new to her, she didn't understand it back then, even now she didn't really understand it.. and it took her own mother and sister to make her realize that this feeling was in fact.. love.
Sensing that she was not gonna say anything, you turned around, ready to leave. And you were about to do just that, if it weren't for her grabbing your arm, making you stop. At first, you wanted to push her away, but then, she did the most surprising thing you ever witnessed.. she kneeled before you, looking up at you with wide eyes, that were pleading with you.. pleading to just.. let her explain herself.
"Yoonchae.." you quietly said, as you took her in. God.. had you perhaps gone too far?
"Please just.. just give me a chance.. a date, that is all I ask.. to let me explain.." she mumbled, before she pressed her forehead against your hand, literally begging you to accept her invitation. Like a puppy.
It would've been easier to have shoved her away and continued with your life.. but something in her eyes, made you forgo that. And instead, you nodded, slowly, adding a small 'Fine' just to confirm to her that yes.. you were gonna go out with her..
On a date.. that is it.. one simple date..
One.. that became two.. and two.. that soon became three and the rest well.. it was history. It was safe to say though, that your love didn't end there. It took time to slowly bring the flame that had once burned brightly for her.. to burn once more. But somehow, she did, she managed to do that with you.
And well.. at least now you knew what you were gonna do in the future, because she was there to help you, to guide you.. and maybe, she really was just the future that you always wanted. Of course, after University though.
In the end, the Universe really always had your back, you just needed to open your eyes and realize that if something was or is meant to be.. it will happen either way. No matter what obsticles there are, or how many people oppose to it. Love will always prevail.. it may take time for some, while for others it may happen immediately, but in the end.. it will always happen.
So now, here you are, planning cute double dates.. between you, Yoonchae, and the girls. Safe to say that after High School, everything fell into place, as it should've in the first place.
"So.. I called it."
"Oh shut up Bora" you and Yuna mumbled together, rolling your eyes.
Synopsis: what was harder than love? An unrequited love.. or rather.. is it really that unrequited? Aka, you try to get your classmate's love by giving her drawings in secret, becoming her secret admirer.. just.. small problem.. you are a girl..
Warnings: fluff at start kind of.. but the ending is angsty.. this is for @jhgifdbki since they wanted a bit of angst..
Words: 5.4k
What is it about a first crush? What makes it so special? Was it perhaps, the way the eyes would try to always search for said person.. or perhaps was the cheeks, which would redden at the thought of them?
Love had not been kind to you, for a reason, you thought. And maybe, just maybe, you did deserve this kind of punishment from the universe. Because life had been too easy for you. You had a good family, that loved you.. good parents that accepted you no matter what you did or did not do.
When you came out to them, they didn't even seemed surprised at all, as a matter of fact, the only person who even bat an eye was your brother, who had, and I repeat, mumbled under his breath 'Fucking finally'.
You did.. okay at school. You were never a lover of studying, not because you weren't.. good, but because nothing about it excited you really. It was as if, your heart belonged somewhere else.
Then, entered the picture her..
Jeung Yoonchae, beautiful Yoonchae, with gorgeous black jet hair and big boba eyes. She had transfered with her family to the small quiet town of Yeosu-si. Okay, not that small but still, it couldn't compare to say.. Seoul.
At times you even pondered as to why they moved, when life could've easily been more interesting there. But then again.. maybe they were not happy there so, to find some comfort, for their own sake, they decided to move.
The first day you met her, you felt your world suddenly become small. One glance at her and you were a goner. That day, she had worn her hair up, in a small ponytail, with a cute bow to top it off. The uniform was the same, of course, but somehow, she made it look like it came out of a movie or something.
You prayed, long and hard to be sat next to her, why? Because you wanted to approach her, without really taking the initiative. You were scared, scared that if you did, if you did talk to her, then you'd ruin it all.
So you, instead, opted to look at her from far away. Yes.. it does sound creepy to say but, it wasn't anything like that. You swore on your life.
Slowly, she started to integrate with the others, and you couldn't help the slight pout that would form on your face whenever she talked to someone.. especially if it were a boy. You knew you couldn't really do anything about it.. you were not her friend, much less acquaintance.. but it still felt wrong.
Yoonchae was kind to everyone, always with a smile on her beautiful face. But you wondered.. was there something else behind it? Something that she was hiding from the rest of the world? Like sheltering?
Because to you, nobody could be that happy all the time. It was almost.. impossible. Sure, there were people who were positive but.. Yoonchae didn't seem to be that kind of girl. No matter what she tried to show.
Then, Sports' Day came around. Your class had been assigned to the red team, which everyone was excited for. There was this legend that said that the class that got to be the red team, won by default. This of course, got overly exaggerated by the massive amount of wins that the red teams had gotten in the past.
But still.. it was nice.. nice to play around like this.
That faithful day, you opted to look from the benches. You didn't like sports, you weren't a big fan of them, but that didn't mean that you weren't gonna cheer for your classmates. Especially your friends, who had decided to kill themselves by signing up.
Bora, one of your friends, picked to do the 100 meter run, while Yuna, decided on being part of the cheering squad. God knows she was good at yelling for sure. She had strong pipes.
You took your seat on the bench, looking around at the other people that gathered for the occasion. Some were faces you recognized, while others.. not so much. A few of them were sharing some drinks and snacks, while others had sneaked out to do whatever the shit they did.
Your eyes went back to the field, where the teachers were gathering all the participants, and dividing them into sections. Not that it really did matter, since you knew for a fact that the chaos from the yells and the talks was gonna make everyone distracted.
So, while you were there, watching everything unfold, you noticed something.. from the corner of your eye. You didn't quite register that well.. Yoonchae was gonna be there, on the benches.. with you. Why? Because you thought an athletic girl like her was gonna participate in the event.. but no, she was standing by the rail, looking down at the others playing.
You furrowed your brows slightly. What had happened to her? Had she gotten hurt or something?
Before you could stop yourself, you accidentally slipped from the bench as you were trying to look at her face.. and that, alongside your scream of pain, made Yoonchae, and not only her, look at you.
At first, people kept looking at you, some worried, some entertained, but then, as you got up, mumbling a 'I am okay, I am okay', they got back to minding their own business.
Well, everyone.. except for Yoonchae.
"You need help?"
Shock, your eyes widened, as you heard that angelic voice beside you. In an instant, you almost lost balance again, before she grabbed you by the arm, pulling you towards her "Hey-".
"I am so sorry-" you had managed to mumble, as you regained your posture and gazed at her.. her beautiful eyes.
Uh, she was wearing glasses today.. how cute.
"No, I am sorry.. I shouldn't have crept towards you like that."
"No no, you seriously didn't do anything Yoonchae, it was my fault.. I am just so clumsy, that's all" you chuckled, before fixing your hair slightly.
Just then though, did you notice.. that her hand was still holding your arm.. well, the heat from it was ever so present, that's why. It almost felt like it was burning. Your arm- not you.
"Uh.." you looked down at her hand, then back up at her. She was not really letting go yet uh?
Unfortunately though, after a few seconds of silence, with your glances directed at her, she finally conceded and pulled back her hand.
"Sorry- I forgot I was grabbing your arm there" she chuckled nervously, shaking her head at you.
Somehow, up close, she looked even more radiating than at the back of the class.. might also be because when you stare at her in class, you cannot see her face.. but only her hair.. mhm.
"Oh no- don't worry, I didn't mind-"
"You didn't mind?"
Shit.. oh God.. no no, did you say that out loud?!
"No- NO! I mean- yes- no- it's okay really, that is what I am trying to say" you tried to save yourself.. save face, but you knew that.. well, you saved nothing. Because next thing that happened, Yoonchae let out a small giggle, a very quiet and small giggle.. one that you had to be very close to her to hear.
But still a giggle nonetheless.
"You are funny.." she mumbled, as she took you in, looking at you up and down. Somehow, this was the actual first time she really did see you. Ironic, isn't it? It had been over 2 months since she came here and yet, this was the first time she saw you up close.
"Uh thanks.. I try to.."
"I like funny people, never stop being one of them."
She liked funny people? So.. she liked you? Wow.. this was progress alright..
"I gotta go now.. but hey, be careful next time okay?"
"Yeah.. don't worry- oh- and thanks again!" you yelled out to her, as she had already started walking off.. God knows where.
Mhm, guess today was not a bad day at all.. afterall.
---
"You could try to just talk to her you know.." Bora mumbled, as she took a chip from you and ate it, without a care in the world.
You looked at her, slowly squinting your eyes, before you scoffed "Sure- because girls like her like girls like me, get a grip woman."
"I am just saying-"
"What you are saying is wrong by default."
"You didn't even try" she pointed at you, raising an eyebrow and pouting slightly "You just assumed that."
Your lips pressed together, as you took in her words. What she was saying well.. was the truth. You really had this twisted idea that if you tried to talk to her then really, she would find you actually boring and never want you near her.
Plus, the fact that you liked girls, could make this ten times worse.. who knows what she thinks of women in general.. and especially those who are lesbians or bi.
"I don't have to try.. I can feel that she wouldn't like me either way" you mumbled, after thinking about it for a few seconds.
Suddenly, it was time for Yuna to jump into the boat. And boy she did, because she didn't waste time to hit you with the cold hard truth.
"Y/N, you don't know that.. and you won't ever know that until you talk to her. So what if she doesn't like girls? At least you tried and you can live in peace knowing that you did your best. Plus, you'll still have her as a friend."
"Ooh, I don't know Yuna.. being friends with someone you rejected is hard.. or with someone you used to crush on" Bora added, patting her hands together, as she chewed on the chips.
Yuna furrowed her brows "It is not impossible though.."
"It is still hard, trust me.. been there and done that."
"You cannot just always rely on your past like that- everyone is different Bora-"
"My past never failed me-"
"It sure did-"
And so on.. they kept bickering like that, all while you were spacing out, thinking about a future that you knew could never happen. Or perhaps.. was it the past? Well, let's see.. you were happy.. she was talking to you.. no.. it could be both future and past.
What clearly was not.. was the present. Because while you were with your dumb friends, discussing about this.. Yoonchae was sitting with her friends.. and a boy.. God knows talking about something.. and it must be something really funny, because she kept shaking her head and hitting him gently on the arm.
To say you were feeling jealous was an understatement.. you were starting to feel depressed and angry.. all in one. Your eyes were lazerfocused on them, your lips were pressing together, your hand was holding out for a punch.
And your friends around you? Yeah, deaf to what was happening to you.
"Why is she so comfortable with him?" you mumbled under your breath, loud enough for the girls to ear.
Bora was the first to look at you, then at Yoonchae, before sighing "Because he has a massive crush on her and maybe she has a crush on him too."
"Don't say that! You'll only make her sadder!" Yuna called her out, giving her a small hit on the head, all while Bora let out an 'Ouch' of sound effect.
"It is the truth-"
"Oh shut up with your truth, we are here to help our friend."
"I am helping her" she tried to say, before she got once more srtuck by Yuna.
"No you are not, you are just making her feel bad."
"Not my fault-"
"Girls please stop" you finally mumbled, having had enough of this circus "I have decided.."
The girls looked at you, with furrowed brows and interested glances. If you weren't still mad about the closeness that Yoonchae had with that guy, you would've laughed at your friends.. but you didn't. Not now at least.
"I will try to win her over."
---
Love letters.. yes, love letters. Love letters was what every girl wanted no? At least, as far as you heard from the bathroom stalls. You even saw them in a few dramas here and there.. so it was the perfect idea!
Of course.. you weren't a very good writer, so, after thinking about it for a few days, you had decided instead to draw for her. You knew she loved drawing, and you knew that she was always seen sporting her creations around class.
She was very modest, but you could tell she really was proud of her work, and you couldn't love but love the way her eyes sparkled when talking about how she came up with her drawings.
It made you feel things inside, inside your heart. So, in an attempt to impress her, you started to leave small drawings with cute writings on them, so like letters, under her table. At first, when she noticed them, she looked confused and even a bit paranoid.
It seemed as if she thought it was a prank, but the more you did, the more that expression shifted into a smile.. a smile of recognition. So much so that every day, when she walked towards class, first thing she did after sitting down, was look under her table for something.
And when she would find the drawing with the small writing on it, she would be motivated to keep going all day with a positive attitude.
It was very satisfying to see how much joy you had brought to her, but there was something you did not account for. You never specified who the admirer was. You had left it to intepretation. Which looking back, was not ideal.
Yoonchae could very well imagine you as a boy, instead of a girl.. perhaps also dreamy, with deep eyes and a waxed jawline or something. Everything you weren't or didn't have.. for obvious reasons.
Slowly, you were starting to feel the dread. What if she got upset when she learned that it was you all along? What if she was expecting something more.. something.. more genuine.. not you?
What if she was expecting a boy?
This kept you awake at night, and the girls, could notice it.
"We have to do something" Yuna mumbled under her breath, as she watched you sulk in your seat.
"Yeah.. but exactly what? We can't make her change sexuality-"
"I know that, but we can still try to lure them together, or something! I hate seeing her like this.." Yuna smacked gently on the head Bora, as she winced in pain.
"Next time you do that, I will throw you out of the window" she warned her, but there really was no bite behind those words.
"I'd like to see you try."
So, like that, the girls came up with a plan, a genius plan. Since you were no help at all, and it had to be a surprise, they decided to play a bit of a long stretched game.
Aka.. they asked Yoonchae to help you clean that day because you were stressed about something and couldn't do it alone, and then, before she could say anything else, they left. Luckily, the plan worked, because at the end of the day, while you were sweeping away the floor, the door swung open.
Your eyes were still sulking, still looking down the pavement, it was almost as if.. you were dead or something. But no, you weren't.. you were just rewinding all the worries in your head, and how Yoonchae, that day, was looking at him with different eyes.
God, if she believed that the secret admirer was him, then you'd throw up the lunch you had.
"Is there room for one more?" a small voice called out, as your eyes finally snapped towards her.
Fuck, you felt all the emotions at once. Joy, anger, sadness and.. confusion.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, your friends told me that you were tired so, I came here to help, if that is okay."
You kept looking at her, for a few seconds, before you nodded "Uh yeah- yeah yeah yeah, of course it is okay."
Perhaps you were being too eager, but you couldn't help the small thud you heard your heart make inside your chest. Saint Peter, this woman had such a pull over you.
"Thank you" she mumbled under her breath, as she walked in and closed the door, immediately starting to clean around the room.
Let's just say that this was the start of the downfall, at least.. for you.. because nothing could've prepared you for what was about to come..
"So.. uh, what do you think of Joon?"
---
"My life is ruined girls" you mumbled to yourself, as you grabbed the pillow from your bed and hid your face with it.
"Y/N.. I am so sorry honey.." Yuna tried to pat your head, but you just flinched away.
Part of you was hurt, for sure, because they set you up.. but another part.. was hurt for a very different reason.
"I don't get it" started Bora "Why did't you just tell her that it was you drawing those sketches?"
"Because she likes Joon! I couldn't do that to her! I want her to be happy" you huffed out, hitting your head with the pillow.
Turns out, that Yoonchae, had already discovered who the 'real' author of those drawings was. Your eyes had widened when she said that, so imagine your stupor when she instead declared that it was Joon, simply for the fact that he was a rather 'good' sketcher.
Your heart, nearly broke that day. But what was worse, was seeing her eyes lighting up while telling you that.. like she really believed it. It was then and there that you decided to not tell her anything, because you didn't want her to hurt because of you.
You wanted her happy, you wanted her to be free, and not tied up with guilt to you. Just because you were the one crushing on her.
Bora hummed, tilting her head left and right "But will she be happy when she realizes that it was not Joon?"
"You know Y/N, Bora has a point, this might just backfire you know.."
You pouted, for a second too long, before you threw the pillow to Bora, aiming just her face.
"It's better than to disappoint her with my gender-"
"You are not disappointing anyone with your gender, stop that" Yuna gently reprimended you, as Bora scoffed at the pillow throw.
"You know that these are deadly, right?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at you, before giving you the middle finger treatment.
"Oh fuck off, it is your fault too.. you were the one getting me into this mess."
"Now wait a second, I did not tell you to draw those sketches-"
"Girls let's not fight please-"
Okay, fine, she was right about that. But still, it hurt.. it hurt to know that you couldn't really blame anyone but yourself. And especially you couldn't blame sweet Yoonchae, just because she liked.. a boy.
From that day.. you decided, that rather than telling her the truth, you'd let her live life blissfully. She liked Joon, that was fine. You hoped she knew what she was doing, and you prayed that she followed her heart no matter what.
Little by little, the weeks passed by, and just like that, Christmas was around the corner. You kept gazing at her, from time to time, but you noticed something shift between her and Joon. There was this now.. comforting feeling or was it tension? Between them.
He would stand closer to her, and she would let him. She never let anyone else do that.. never did in the past. So.. that must've meant that he had confessed to her or something.. and now, they were a couple.
Did you cry yourself to sleep that night? Yes, yes you did. You did until you couldn't anymore, until your parents knocked worriedly at your door. Until your brother crashed into the room, complaining about how you hadn't eaten dinner yet, or how loud you were.
Not gonna lie, that made you slightly smile, just for a bit, until depression hit once again.
You were curious though, did Joon tell her that he actually sent her those drawings, or did he say the truth? It couldn't be the latter, otherwise, they wouldn't be together. And you did hear from Bora that apparently.. Joon confirmed to her when she asked him, that he indeed was the admirer.
That mother.. fucker..
Whatever, as long as Yoonchae was happy.
Today was the last day before winter break, the class decided to do a full day of events and games, just for the sake of it. It was tradition at the end of the day.
You were sitting on your chair inside the almost empty classroom, looking down at your phone, before your friends barged in. At first, you didn't even hear them, until Bora flicked your forehead.
"Hey- that hurts!" you whined out, holding your forehead and making your phone crash down the desk.
Bora looked at you unimpressed, before she folded her arms "We got news."
"News? What kind of news?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We saw Yoonchae and Joon getting inside one of the empty classrooms."
"Good for them, what do I even care?" lie, you did care.. a lot, but you acted as if you didn't.
"You idiot, she barged out angrily after just 5 minutes" Bora huffed out, hitting you on the head gently.
"Hey- STOP THAT- wait.. what? Why did she storm out?"
"Apparently.. Yoonchae asked Joon something, and he couldn't answer or perform.. or whatever.. and so she got mad and stormed off" Bora replied, drily.
Wait.. what? She asked him something and he couldn't do it? What exactly was happening right now. God, did others see this? Considering they were now the famous 'class couple', people must've heard about it too already.
Sensing what you were thinking, Yuna sighed gently and placed her hand on your head, almost like a pat from a loving mother.
"Nobody saw, except us.. but we fear that this might bite you in the butt."
"Why would it bite me in the butt?" you asked, raising your eyebrow confused.
"Because you like her you idiot" Bora started "What if Joon finds out and tells Yoonchae? Mhm?"
Impossible.. he would never get that, he was not that smart.
"Don't joke around, he would never-"
"He could if he wanted to Y/N.. we are just worried" Yuna replied, eyes laser focused on yours.
God, why were they so serious right now? They weren't beforehand.. did something else happen for them to start acting like this? Wait..
"Wait a second.. where is Yoonchae now?" you asked, standing up from your desk.
"Don't know, but it did look as if she was going to her locker-"
"Her locker?" you cut her off, eyes widening at the realization.
"Yeah.. her locker.." Bora repeated, confusion starting to appear on her face. Yuna was the same, she was looking at you with squinty eyes, almost trying to read you.
Her locker.. fuck..
"What's wrong Y/N?" Yuna asked gently, going to grab your arm, but you pulled back in an instant.
"I have to go.. I'm sorry."
"Y/N- Y/N WAIT-"
You didn't listen, you ran, ran as fast as you could, out of the classroom and towards the lockers. This was bad, so bad..
Once you arrived there, you were slightly sweating, and had short breath. You looked around, for the familiar face that was Yoonchae.. but you couldn't spot her. There was absolutely nothing.. nobody.
Fuck, fuck, you were fucked. She was already gone.
You sighed, taking out your phone and checking the notifications that your friends were sending you. Why was the Universe just so against you? Why were you this.. messed up? It was not fair! Not fair at all.
Just then, just then did you notice something though.. the locker, her locker was actually slightly open. Curiosity got the best of you, so you walked towards it and opened it. You knew this was an invasion of privacy, but you had to just know..
Gone.. the letters.. the drawings were all gone.. she took them all.
Bring.
Your eyes widened, as you were receiving a call. Your trembling hands picked up your phone, and without even thinking twice about it or about checking who it was, you accepted the call.
"Hello?"
"Meet me behind the yard, right now."
Your face went pale, as you heard the voice from the caller. You gulped gently, feeling your body start to burn from fear and embarassment.
"I-where again?-"
"Behind the yard, don't make me wait."
With that, the caller hung up, leaving you to a dead line.. and fear creeping in your mind. God.. no, this was not good at all. You were gonna die today. You knew it.
Still, there was nothing you could do right? You had to go.. because then the caller would just hunt you down until they found you and talked to you. So it was better to face it now than to run away.
---
Your eyes looked around the place, you took your sweet time to get there, and when you did.. there was nobody. Why? They had said they were already here right? So.. why were you here alone?
"Took you long enough" a voice cut through the silence, as they walked closer to you, from behind.
You didn't dare to turn around, at first, but then, they just sighed and took a step closer. You could just smell their perfume.. so familiar.. so nice.. so.. them.
"Turn around."
So you did, you finally turned around, and your eyes gazed at her.. Yoonchae. Of course, who else could've been.
"Hey.." you tried to say, as your breath quickened at your proximity. God, she looked gorgeous up close uh.
It had been far too long since you saw her like this.
Yoonchae gazed at your eyes, there was almost this sort of coldness in hers, something that felt surreal to you. Never in your life had you witnessed an angry Yoonchae.. or a cold one like this one. Well..
"So it was you uh?" she mumbled, folding her arms in front of her chest.
"Was me what?"
"Do not play with me Y/N, I know.."
"I really don't know what you are talking about Yoonchae.. you must've gotten the wrong girl-"
"I am not mad" she cut you off, as her eyes slowly softened, just enough for you to let out a sigh of relief. But then, they returned cold. Like ice.
"Why didn't you tell me the truth, why did you let me live with a lie?"
"I didn't want you to get hurt" you mumbled softly, under your breath, as you looked down at the floor.
God, you sounded so broken, so small right now.
Yoonchae sighed again, looking to the side for a second, before she looked back at you "Don't you think that I had the right to know about this though? You think this would've hurt me?"
Ouch..
"I thought that it would've made you disappointed, sad.. I don't want to see you sad, that's why I didn't say anything."
"Do you see me happy now? Do you see me satisfied though now?" she asked, her voice rising just enough for you to wince. Yoonchae took notice of that, and shook her head, mumbling a small 'sorry' under her breath. She didn't mean to raise her voice but.. it sort of happened.
Finally though, you decided to look up from the floor and instead, gaze upon her. God, her eyes were colder now.. but there was this hint of.. fire? Fondness? Perhaps.. in them. Was she really angry at you because you lied.. or because you hadn't been strong enough to tell her the truth?
"Yoonchae.."
"Do you have any idea how humiliating it was to realize that Joon was not who I thought he was? To see him fail at something so simple, the moment he was put into test.. to having lived a lie.. thinking it was a truth? God, I literally dated him because I thought he was behind all of.. all of this" she showed you the letters, in her hands.. no actually, she shook them in front of your face, making you regret ever lying to her.
Well, technically, you didn't lie.. you just never told her..
"And now.. to realize that it was you.. my classmate.. a girl.. sending me all of these amazing drawings and letters.. it hurts. Not because you are a girl, but because you had never been brave enough to tell me Y/N."
God, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole right now..
You felt so humiliated, so bad, for not having said anything. But then.. just then, did you find your voice.
"If.. if I had told you from the beginning.. would it have changed anything.. between the two of us?"
"What?" Yoonchae asked, furrowing her brows.
"If I had told you, from the very beginning.. that I was the one who did this all.. would you have given me a chance as you did with Joon? Be honest with me Yoonchae" you asked again, raising your voice a little bit more this time.
It was as if, you had found your courage once more.. as if you were saying all the things you couldn't in the past. And Lord, did it feel good.
Yoonchae stared at you, eyes widened, as she took in your words. If you had told her from the beginning.. that was a hard question.. could she really be honest and say the truth? Or was this a lose lose situation nonetheless?
The silence stretched between the two of you, and you just knew, right then and there.. that that.. was the answer.
"I knew it" you mumbled quietly.
"It's not my fault Y/N-" Yoonchae tried to say, but you cut her off immediately.
"I know it is not your fault, which is why I didn't get mad when you started dating Joon. Which is why I never told you.. because I am a girl."
"I still appreciate the gesture-"
"But not as much as if I were a boy" you said, coldly, as you felt your heart just turn to ice.. fuck, it hurt.
Yoonchae kept quiet once more, just squeezing the letters with her hands. They were starting to get wrinkled by how hard she was holding them. Uh.. guess she did feel the humiliation.
"I like boys" she finally said, as she gathered enough courage to speak.
It was then and there.. that your heart broke.. for the very first time. No, it was not when she told you about Joon, no, it was not when she was displaying affection towards him. It was now.. now that she knew and still.. reality hit.
You pressed your lips together, sighing deeply. Well, this was it.. wasn't it? The end.. you couldn't go forward from this.
"Yeah, I know.. well.. I hope that you find happiness with them, truly.. I do" with that, you decided to turn around and finally leave.
That was.. until, you felt this sort of need.. to do something else first.. something that would have helped you to heal fully.. in your mind at least.
You turned back around, looking at her widened eyes, before yours went to the letters in her hands. In a quick motion, you walked back to her, and like that, grabbed the letters back, before she could protest or do anything about it.
"Let's leave it in the past and move on, you don't need these.. they were from a girl" you mumbled to her, as you finally turned back and left.
You didn't look back at her, you didn't need to.. the lack of resistence showed it all. She stopped caring about the letters the moment she realized that those were sent from you.. and not a boy. Or perhaps it was just your brain telling you this.
What you failed to realize, was that once you were gone.. away from her sight.. she looked down at her hands, which were now trembling, and let out a small.. tiny.. sigh.
Yoonchae's legs gave out as she hit the pavement hard. Her hands felt so empty.. yet.. the one thing that felt emptier than them.. was her heart. Why.. why was she feeling like this? Why was she missing the letters so much? Why was she feeling hollow all of a sudden..
She didn't know it yet, but this was just the very start of a long period of grieving, that would end, just when she finally.. finally got to terms with her own feelings.
And perhaps, the Universe decided to finally get on your side, because from the next semester, the dynamic would change drastically.
Angst gonna come soon, not now though, my next fic is a 2 parts fluff with Yoonchae. Perhaps I can add just a bit of angst but yeah, it's mostly fluff.
It's the fluff era bc fluff around, you can see very little rn so, I wanted to give more fluff.
Synopsis: Manon was a star, that had burned too fast and too much.. you were a doctor.. who slowly became someone who she could trust with her whole life. Aka, Manon visits you at the hospital because you are her first supporter.. in between the lines, something started to develop..
Warnings: hiatus mentions, nothing extreme.. fluff stuff.. plus, I am no doctor so I do not even know if what I wrote is.. accurate. Keep that in mind..
Words: 4.5k
They say that there is no place like a hospital. That it a place that sucks the life out of your body to feed it to the hungry. Perhaps, that might be true to some extent.
Yet, that could not be said for Manon.
Yes, she found solance in those white papered walls, and weird quirky drawings made by children, if you were lucky to even stumble upon such a room. Truth to be told, Manon liked the hospital for another reason.
"So, how bad it is Doc?" Manon called out, from where she was sitting across you. Her eyes looked straight ahead, at your figure, as you were reading some of the scans the team had done.
"Well" you started, sighing "I hate to say this".
"Say what?" her eyes widen, just slightly, as her anxiety started to rise.
No, this couldn't be it, you couldn't be serious, did she have something? Was there something wrong with her?
"Don't stay quiet, what do the results say?" she asked, placing her hand on the desk.
You sighed, once more, before you fixed your glasses on top of your nose and leaned closer, to where she was sitting, basically contaminating her air.
"Manon, I am afraid you don't have a lot of time left" you mumbled, dramatically, as you shook your head.
Manon stayed quiet, for a single second too long, before she 'tsk'ed loudly and threw her hand at you "You damn idiot, stop scaring me like that!".
Suddenly, you let out a big laugh, a laugh that came from the belly. Yes, of course.. you had just played with her. She was fine, she had nothing to worry about. The scans were fine, the vitals were fine. She was fine.
"I am sorry I am sorry, but the look on your face was too good-".
"I swear, I can't even believe they accept people like you in hospitals".
"Oh cmon, I am your favorite doctor" you cooed, as you placed your hands on the desk, giving her a devious smile.
Manon looked at you, your eyes, before rolling them. Of course she was pissed, you always did this. You always gave her heart attacks for no reason. Well okay no.. there was a reason actually.
You see, Manon was many things. She was beautiful, that was for sure. She was smart, she was driven.. but most of all, she was an easy target. An easy target for people to hate on.
Over the course of her Katseye career, the constant dislike and threats and hate from other people accumulated so much.. that she couldn't handle it all at once. So.. she went on a hiatus.
For a whooping 9 months, before she decided to come back and put her heart at peace.
During those 9 months, a lot had changed. She switched doctors, because she felt like they didn't listen to her, not the way you would. And she hated that.
And of course, because her health wasn't the greatest, so she needed someone who was way more attentive and perceptive. Finding you really, was a miracle. Never in her life would she have gone to you, if not because of her best friend telling her about you.
Slowly, she got to know you. You weren't bad at all. You were smart, you knew your stuff and.. you had a very good sense of humor. In just a matter of weeks, you had become almost like friends.
Sure, you were her doctor, so you had more competence than her. But she never felt coldness from you.
And she was greatful for that, because that was all she needed really. All she needed from someone.
"Maybe.." she mumbled under her breath, as she stopped thinking about the past.. about you.
You noticed, of course you did, how her stance changed slightly. How her shoulders slagged ever so softly, how her eyes almost seemed to gaze outside of this world. What was she thinking about uh?
"Manon" you started, slowly "What's the matter?".
Manon looked up, straight at you, before she sighed "Nothing".
"I know it is not nothing, cmon, you can tell me. Anything you say will stay inside these pretty walls" you mumbled, gesturing the office with your fingers.
Your smile, ever so kind and warm, almost made her confess to you her doubts. But she didn't... no.. wait.. she couldn't. Not yet. It felt improper.. not fair to you.
Why? Because you were busy, you had always been busy and she didn't want to bother you more than she needed to.
Sensing though, that something like this was happening to her, because you had a third eye or something, your hand extended towards hers and decided to place itself on top of it.
"Hey" you called out for her, again.
Yeah well, this time you really did get her attention.
"Listen, if you are not ready to talk about this, then we can not talk about this. Just take your time okay? No need to force yourself".
"Wow, didn't take you for a psychologist too".
"I have my side gigs now, you know that" you pointed at her with your other hand, giving her a quick grin.
Manon loved your smile, it was one of those things that could brighten her day.
"Okay" she nodded, after a few seconds of silence.
Okay.. she was gonna listen to you. And not only because she didn't have anything else to do, but because she knew, that she could trust you with all her heart.
"Good, now I want to see you next week, just to monitor a few things. Though you do seem fine, but you know, last time we said that, you fainted soooo" you called out, pressing your lips together.
Ah, yes.. that stupid faithful day. She sure did make herself a fool, falling into your arms like an idiot. It almost looked like a scene out of a kdrama.. or at this point a thai gl.
Whatever, that was not gonna happen again.. for sure.
---
"Code Blue, patient fainted, I repeat, Code Blue, patient has fainted" the nurse called out as she, alongside a few other staff members, pushed through the small corridors of the hospital, towards a room.. the same room you were standing in.
When they barged in, your eyes landed on the figure that immediately got placed on top of the bed. Oh shit.. cmon now.
"What happened to her now?" you asked, as you walked towards her and started the standard procedure for such situation.
"The patient has fainted while waiting at the entrance doctor" the nurse explained quickly, looking at her with a tight smile.
You almost chuckled. It was just so.. Manon. She overworked herself too much, and this was starting to become a regular occurrence at this point.
Well, not as if that hadn't ever happened in the past, but ever since she returned from her hiatus, because of possible hate from the general public, she pushed herself even more. To the point of her fall.
"Thank you, I will take it from here, don't worry" you mumbled to the nurses, giving them a smile back.
Reason why you were this calm, was because you knew just how to work through such situation. Like said earlier, you had your fair share of heart attacks because of Manon fainting. So, really, her body at this point just learned to faint, as a self mechanism, whenever it felt a lot of stress.
And you couldn't fault it.
The nurses looked back at you and nodded, before they excused themselves from the room. You watched, with weary eyes, before sighing and walking closer to where Manon was still knocked out.
Her vitals looked fine, from what you could see. So this, must've been something else. God, she really needed to take care of herself more.
A few minutes later, give or take 10, you finally heard the thing you were waiting for. Her pretty voice.
"Wh-where am I?".
"What kind of a question is that? Cmon honey, at this point I think you'd know this place like the back of your hand".
Manon gazed at you, with one eye open, before she sighed and shook her head "I can't believe this.."
"Yeah" you mumbled, walking towards her "I can though.. Manon, what did we say? No overworking yourself".
"I know but-".
"No buts miss" you pointed a finger at her, now displaying a jokingly scowl. You were not one to scold her but well, here we were.
"I told you far too many times, at this point I'll just join your every rehearsal and keep an eye on you Manon" while that might've been a threat, Manon couldn't help but laugh at you. Uh, was that a joke to her?
Okay, you were cute when you were trying to look mean.
"I wouldn't mind it" she called out, giving you a grin.
You sighed, on the other hand, and circled aorund the room. Sure, you were playing with her, like she did with you, but you were also serious about this kind of stuff.
You cared for Manon, perhaps too much, and it hurt to see her.. well.. hurt!
"Manonnnn, I am literally gonna take all of your organs if you keep this up".
Manon's smirk widened. Oh no, what was she thinking? You were scared..
"Don't forget the heart, oh no wait.. you already stole it from me".
LOOORD.
"Manon!".
"Kidding kidding.. maybe".
You seriously wanted to strangle her until she regained consciousness. She was annoying, but she was your kind of annoying at least.
At the end of the day, you let her go, giving her another warning: if you found her fainting at the hospital once more, you'd personally track her every move. She nodded along, telling you how she would 'love it' either way.
Perhaps there was no real way to make her stop, but maybe that was just.. who she was.
Next time she came around, you'd prescribe for her to go to a psychologist.
---
"Wow, what big pours" you mumbled, with a huge grin on your face.
Manon looked at you, before pouting slightly. How dare you.. how dare you say that about her.
"That is so not nice Doc" she complained, sticking out her tongue at you.
Of course, this was second nature to you nowadays.
"Now now Manon, be nice, otherwise this is gonna take longer than needed".
"I got time".
"You also got anemia".
"Hey, that is a low blow" she flipped you off, as her brows knitted together. She may have wanted to look mad but she only managed to look cute, in your eyes.
Instead of replying, you took the finger and gave it a squeeze, making sure she understood the meaning behind your action.. you were one to play along just fine. Until someone got hurt.
"Put that down now ma'am, or I'll have to cut it off".
"This is my good finger" she whined, protesting for a second, before then doing as you told her to do.
Good.
"Don't worry, you got 9 others" you mumbled, as you continued with the standard visit.
Everything seemed to be going well.. and that was the key word.. seemed. Because not everything was as it seemed. Especially for Manon.
After a few seconds of silence, you noticed just how quiet she was that day. So, of course, you got curious.
"What happened?" you asked, calmly.
"Uh?" her eyes looked back up at you, as you were checking her pressure.
"What happened" you repeated, eyes staring at hers.
Manon bit her lip, thinking of a way.. a way to dodge the question, but it was pointless, you were smart.. smarter than you looked. And you knew her too well. Damn you and your stupid eyes.
"Nothing happened".
"Playing the dumb card again Manon? What does it look like I am? One of your song writers? Cmon now" you raised an eyebrow, as you took off the device from her arm.
She gave a huff of protest, because she already missed your touch, funnily enough, but then, regained her posture and placed the other hand on her lap. She was deep in her thoughts, pondering on whether to tell you or not.
On one hand, telling you meant that she would let go of one of her biggest insecurities. But on the other hand.. it meant becoming vulnerable.. on a totally different level than what she was used to.
Doubts crept in her mind, and kept doing so, until finally, she decided.
She was gonna tell you.
"Okay.. fine.. I'll tell you".
"Thank God, I was just waiting for over 2 hours now" you jokingly said, without any bite really. But still, Manon found something to pout over.
"Hey, I am being vulnerable here" she mumbled, flipping over her curls.
Okay, okay, let's stop being assholes.
"Alright sorry honey, go on, tell me. My ears are for you".
Her eyes widened, for a second, before a smile graced her sweet sweet face. Oh no, what was gonna happen?
"I hope that your heart is too".. of course.
"Manon.."
"Okay okay fine.. sorry miss gurl".
You looked up at her, squinting your eyes ever so slighty. Luckily, for her sake, Manon understood and stopped. She literally looked like a fish out of water. Were you really that scary? Cmon now.
"Uh.. but.. I mean it.. I think I am ready to say it" she mumbled quietly, as she bit down on her lower lip.
Your eyes noticed, immediately. But your mouth decided not to comment, instead, letting her continue. It was better like this.
"Then I thank you for wanting to open up to me honey".
Manon nodded, gently, before she continued "I just.. with everything going on.. I feel like.. I am not the same person I used to be.. like.. I left a part of me when I joined Katseye".
Sensing you were not gonna talk, she decided to keep going.
"Maybe you'll think this is stupid but, I never thought I'd get to this point. Sure, getting scouted helped. But ever since debuting, ever since the hate I have started to receive.. I don't know, I feel like I may be deserving it- and not because I am what they say I am but because.. I let them.. in a way? I don't know if I am explaining it right".
"But.. anyways, yeah, I feel lost.. like.. I don't even know my purpose anymore, like.. I do not really belong there, with all the girls. I know confidence is important and I do have confidence, for sure, but I don't know.. maybe this was not meant for me-".
"Manon, if you let others control your life like this then you'll never be happy or fufilled in life" you cut her off, looking up at her in the eyes, as you placed the device on the left side of the bed.
"Feeling lost is normal when you are young, not knowing what your right path is.. because we are not just stuck in one.. there are many paths.. many paths.. you have to choose the one that feels more like you. The one that really, does feel like it is fufilling to you. Then again, there may be a lot.. the decision is up to you. But never, ever, let someone else decide it for you".
Manon sat silently for a few seconds, looking at you, hearing yours words. And she truly did resonate with what you were saying. But how could she do that? How could she.. just.. do all that without having it attack her back?
"How can I do that? How can I really learn what is right for me?" the question felt so small, so quiet.. yet it held the most power and weight.
You gently placed your hand on hers, sensing that this moment, right here, was gonna be a deal or a breaker. And you didn't want to break her, at all. You wanted to lift her up to the stars and make her see just how much she shined bright. Like one of them.
"You learn to listen to yourself.." you started, patting her hand "And.. you learn to be good to yourself, and not push yourself too hard.. and to love yourself for everything that it is.. and yes, even the bad parts" you mumbled, poking gently at her chest, where supposedly the heart was.
Manon looked down at you, eyes almost teary at what you said, before she bit her lip and nodded.
"I don't know how to do that.." she mumbled, quietly.
God, your heart was about to break listening to her. You were sensitive.. and this whole thing, was about to make you cry yourself.
"You will learn.. and trust me on this.. you will be happy, and you will be fine.. because you are not alone in this. You got everyone, you got your family, you got the girls.. you got even the fans".
"You?".
"Always me".
---
A few months later, the air around the hospital felt different.. charged with something else. Perhaps you were just having another one of your tired and dreadful days, but, really, something felt different.
You couldn't quite pin point it.
"Here is what you needed doctor" a nurse called out for you, as she walked in with a cup of tea. You furrowed your brows. You didn't order tea, why was she bringing you tea?
"Uh, I didn't ask for it darling-".
"I know, someone else did, she said this is your favorite kind" she mumbled out, giving you a quick bow of appreciation, before she fled the scene.
Uh.. she said this was your favorite kind.. who even flirts with tea? Must be a very quirky person mhm, for sure.
Still, as you looked at the cup in front of you, you couldn't help the small smile that appeared on your lips. It was cute, to say the least.. and the gesture was sweet. Perhaps you could concede yourself to one drink right now..
So, ever so gently, you picked up the cup and drank one sip, just one, before the flavor hit your tongue. Oh, okay.. this was no regular tea.. this was a special kind of tea that you knew very well only one person had.
Dear lord, what was she up to today?
Just as you were about to sigh, a knock, soft knock, interrupted your thoughts. You furrowed your brows, you didn't have any patients scheduled for today so why on heaven was someone knocking on your door in the middle of the morning?
Especially before you had your daily scream at the computer because it didn't work as it should.
"Uh- come in" you quickly said, loud enough for the person to hear.
The door gently opened, to reveal your sweet darling patient, standing there, with a huge smile on her face. Oh God.. oh Jesus..
What now..
"Manon.." you started, as you took her in. She was wearing a lovely sun dress today, something that made her look like she came out of a 50s movie or something.. without the racism of course.
Her hair was down in her natural curls, and her makeup was light, just enough to highlight her beautiful features. Features you loved ever so much.
"Hello" she mumbled under her breath, as she took a few steps forward, heels clicking on the pavement. The door behind her closed, by the magic of only one gloved hand of Manon.
God, she really did look exquisite.
"What are you doing here? Did you faint again or something?".
"Gosh no.. you know I do not do that ever since we talked" she shook her head, before taking a seat across you, placing her gloved hands on the table carefully.
She seemed as if she didn't want to invade your space yet, she was in a way trying to sneak in small hints of interest. It was hard to codify really, because Manon had never acted like this in all her life. Or well, all the time you have known her.
"That's good then, I am glad to hear that" you nodded, putting down the pen on the table.
Manon's eyes scanned your every action, it was as if.. she was trying to somehow find the perfect moment to tell you something.. and she was.
She was waiting for the perfect moment to ask you something.. because she had been dreading this day ever since she started to go to that psychologist you recommended to her. God, it had been tough at first to open up like that but, as time passed, she realized that well.. she was stronger than she had anticipated.
And you? Well, you always knew, you just had to make her see it for herself.
"I wanted to thank you" she mumbled out, suddenly, as her hands reached for yours "I never really did after that day but.. really, I wouldn't be where I am right now if it weren't for you".
Your eyes widen ever so slightly, as you took in everything. Uh, so that was why she came here? Mhm.. your heart was having a field day right now.
"Manon.. I told you already, there is no need to thank me.. you did everything.. you are who you are now because you didn't let go, you kept fighting and you proved yourself wrong. You are strong and more capable than you think you are. You had everything, you just needed some encouragement to get you to realize that".
"Even so" she bit her lower lip "You still helped me in more ways than you'll ever know, and for that I am greatful. You got no idea how hard it was in the past, during events or rehearsals, and the only thing that could help me get through them was thinking of you.."
God, she was so sincere, in that moment. So much so that you could see her eyes getting watery under your gaze. How you wished to just.. close the distance and hug her. But you couldn't.. not until she gave you the consent that you needed.
"Manon.." you cooed gently, patting her hand.
Manon looked at you, lip quivering. Look at her.. getting so attached to who? Her damn doctor? You had no right to make her feel like this and yet.. you did. And perhaps, it really was not your fault.
Perhaps, it was destiny, that bounded the two of you together.
"I just" she started, slowly "I just want to let you know that you do so much for me and you mean so much to everyone.. more than you know".
Okay, it was your time to get teary, because truthfully, in the moments of doubts, you too had felt so little, so underappreciated for all the work you put into your job. Why? Because the world of medicine was not kind to those who were sensitive.
You needed to have thick skin to survive the endless hours of work, the dreadful feelings of not being able to save someone.. the constant battle between life and death. Like.. some things, you couldn't do, because medicine could help only so much.
So, to hear her say this, to hear her say that you mean more to people than they will ever tell you.. really was a hug to the heart that you needed right now.
"Oh sweetie.. thank you" you mumbled, under your breath, as your hand squeezed hers.
She nodded, biting back a smile that was starting to show. God, she looked radiant and so mesmerizing right now.
"This is not the only reason I am here though" she added, after a few seconds of silence. This time, her tone was more decisive, more strong.
As if, she was about to literally fight a boss from a game.
She took her sweet time, glancing at both your eyes, then at your joined hands. What was she even thinking about?
"I came here for another reason.. this time.. more personal".
"Mhm, what is it?" you asked, gently, as your eyes never stopped looking at hers.
She took in a deep breath, preparing herself for a battle she felt the need to win. Then, she nodded to herself and squeezed your hand so tightly that you almost felt like you were about to wince. But you didn't.. for her sake.
"I wanted to ask you out.. on a date.. a proper one- at a cafe or something".
Tick.. tock.. the clock behind you kept ticking like a timed bomb.
The air suddenly changed around you. It felt more intense, more profound than before.. almost suffocating to the lungs. Did she.. did she just ask you out on a date?
"I'm sorry?" you asked, leaning in, furrowing your brows in confusion.
Oh no.. did she mess up? Did she say something wrong? Fuck, no, abort- no no wait, no, she couldn't abort.. not now! If she did then she'd go back on her word with her therapist.
No, Manon was no backing down, not now and not ever again.
"I like you" she suddenly mumbled, before she could stop herself. Realizing what she did, her eyes widen, but she continued nonetheless. It was now or never.
"I like you, I have liked you for so long and I want to be able to explore this new feeling with you. I do not want to force you into accepting but I want you to know that I will make you very happy and I will try to be the best person you could ever have in your life. I want to help you the way you helped me and I think that at this point.."
"I think at this point, I cannot live without having you in my life.. I mean, I can but.. I do not want to live.. without you in my life Y/N".
There it was, she did it. She actually fucking did it. And she felt so good, she felt so free. Like the heavy burden lifted off of her chest.
Now, the only thing that was left to do.. was for you to answer her back.. if you even did.
You stared at her, with wide eyes and a mouth so open that a fly could fly in with no problems. It was almost comical to see. And if Manon wasn't already charged up to the max, she would've laughed.
Next thing she knew though, before she could process it all.. you had fainted, dramatically, slouching against the chair.
"Oh my God- Y/N!".
---
White.. noisy.. that was all you could see or hear around you. Well, that and the softness of two hands placed on your face. Uh.. how comforting, this dream.
"Y/N? Are you okay, are you with me?" Manon mumbled, shaking a hand in front of your eyes, trying to regain you back.
You giggled softly, shaking your head "Eheh.. what an angel you are".
Manon's eyes widened, before her lips curved into a big smile "You goof, you seriously fainted after I confessed" she shook her head, making her hair bounce slightly.
Mhm, you almost wanted to touch it, to feel how soft it truly was.
"Beautiful confession, as beautiful as you eheh" you nodded, booping her nose with your finger.
God, did the roles reverse or something? Was she the doctor now or what?
"Let's get you to the bed shall we? I think you need rest".
"Don't steal my lineeee" you complained, pressing your finger to her squishy cheek before letting out another laugh. You really acted like a drunk idiot when weak uh.. noted.
"Whatever you silly goose, cmon".
"Oh oh, Manon?" you suddenly cut her off, holding up a hand.
She furrowed her brows, looking at it, then back at you "What?".
"I accept" you mumbled, as you brought your face close to her face, before finally.. FINALLY.. giving into tiredness, and closing your eyes, relaxing into her hold.
She stared at you, for a few seconds.. a few seconds too long. Her eyes had widened, her lips had parted.. but her heart did the only thing it could do for you.. thumb.
And like that, she smiled, hugely, before shaking her head.
Synopsis: becoming friends at 16, and now at 20.. finding yourself in a rather unfortunate situation, you decided to just use it at your own advantage. Aka.. you got into an accident and Megan visited you at the hospital, while you used a bit of charm to keep her there..
Warnings: none, just all fluff and crackheads..
Words: 4.5k
How to start this? Well, perhaps from the beginning, just like all stories.
Megan Skiendiel, tall girl, pretty hair, pretty eyes.. pretty lips. Everything pretty about her. You'd have to wonder if there was anything that she didn't have really.
You met her when you were around 16, and unfortunately for you, Cupid had decided to strike your heart right there and then. Problem? She didn't like you.. or at least, she said that.
You were down bad for her, that was the worse thing. If she asked you to do anything, you'd do it. Why? Because you were an idiot, that's why. An idiot with no morals or even a brain at this point.
Now, you were 20, well, the both of you were 20, and ready to conquer the world. That was, until something happened to you.
You see, you were a very bad driver, not your fault really. You'd tend to space out whenever sothing got too overcomplicated. Which meant, that in a matter of seconds, you had found your face slammed against the wheel of your car.
The hospital, when you awoke, smelled so artificial that you almost wanted to go back to sleep, but you couldn't.. because the pain was too much to bear.
So, on that faithful day, March 28th, your life completely changed.. for the better you think.
---
Megan wasn't used to getting these kind of phone calls. Maybe once or twice had it been that someone called her from the hospital.
At first, she was confused, pondering why they were phoning her, when anyone else would've been the better choice..,but it turned out that you.. of course, had put her name into the stupid emergency contacts.
How did you even manage to do that? She didn't want to know. Wasn't that illegal?
In the end, she ran towards her car, ready to drive to the hospital. When she got there, she immediately tried to ask the front desk for info about you.
Luckily, you weren't going that fast, so you didn't break much, just a few bones here and there, especially the legs. But nothing that rest couldn't fix.
She sighed in relief, placing her head on the desk. God, you were so stupid..
And like that, in a matter of seconds, she spotted your parents rushing in, panic written all over their faces.
"How is my daughter- is she okay?" your mother asked, placing both hands on top of the desk.
The lady there just smiled politely at Megan, before she looked back at the poor souls about to pass out.
"Your daughter is fine ma'am, she is stable now and in a deep sleep".
That was enough for them to break away from the desk, nodding in appreciation. Just then, though, did they realize who was standing next to them.
"Megan? How come you are here?" your father asked her, raising an eyebrow of interest.
Megan looked at your parents, with a tight smile, before she clasped her hands together "I- I got called here.."
Of course your parents knew better. They knew about the whole crush thing, but they never had imagined it would've gotten this far. They thought it was.. a simple crush.. not this kind of devotion.
"Oh of course.. she cares deeply about you" your mother suddenly mumbled, nodding at the poor girl, who looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here.
"Well.. I guess if that is it.. I will leave".
"Megan, can you wait for a second" your father called out, looking at her as she was about to walk off.
She immediately returned to where she was standing, and nodded, like an obedient girl.
"Yes- yes of course, what it is?".
Her hands started to fidget once more, anxiety overcoming her. It wasn't that she didn't like you but.. all of this felt so surreal. Why on heart did you like her this much? She wasn't all that. She had flaws and her skin would usually break out without a reason. Plus she had anxiety about all the things in the world. In short, she was a mess.
Sure, she was well liked at school and even after that but.. why her, and not someone else?
Your father kept quiet for a few seconds, looking at his wife, who nodded back at him in approval. It seemed as if they were communicating with each other through eyes.
Lovely.
"Would you mind come and visit her while she is here at the hospital? I think she would really enjoy your company".
Megan stood there, frozen into place. Her? Visiting every day? But.. she had other things to do.
"Are you sure? But I-".
"I know it is a lot to ask but could you perhaps do that? You've known each other for so long honey and now more than ever she needs people close to her to help her" your mother cut her off, gently, as her eyes begged and begged for Megan to accept.
Now she really was fucked up. If she didn't accept, she looked like an asshole, if she accepted, then she'd give that little bit of freedom she had.. away. And frankly, she didn't know what to do.
But seeing, how there was no real way to win this, and seeing how both of your parents were screaming for her to just accept, she made her mind.
"Fine.. sure, okay" she nodded, biting her lower lip slightly, clearly in distress. Something though that your parents didn't notice, because as soon as those words left her lips, they smiled widely.
"Perfect, thank you so much honey. Oh, you are welcomed whenever in our home" your mother gushed out, patting her shoulder kindly.
Megan almost whinced.. almost, but then she realized that there was no reason to.
This.. was not gonna kill her. At least, as far as she knew.
"No worries, I am.. glad to help".
---
Blink.. blink..
Everything felt weird around you. The walls looked far too white, the matress felt far too heavy.. and the tubes all around you? Suffocating.
When was the last time you felt like this? Oh right, the day you got rejected by her.
Not to be salty, but it still left a small imprint on you. Okay no, that sounds like an Alpha-Omega story.
Could it be that you never really moved on from that? From such an awful.. AWFUL. day?
I mean, she was kind enough to tell you that it wasn't because you were.. well.. you. But because she wasn't ready for something like that.. yet.
It had been over 4 years, God woman.. are you ready yet?!
You sighed to yourself, shaking your head gently, trying to forget the memory. You were so focused, so focused on yourself and the pain that you didn't hear the door sliding open, and someone walking in slowly, almost like it burned.
Of course.. it was Megan, your sweet Megan. But this time, really, you were blind.
Megan took a few steps forward, looking around the room before her eyes stopped on you. You looked.. okay? I mean, you looked like a mess but, overall, better than the other times she had visited you.
Well yeah, she visited while you were asleep but, you actually looked more peaceful now than before.
"Hey" a small voice called out to you, holding up her hand for you to see.
That.. was when you understood just what was happening, because next thing you knew, you whipped your head to the other side so quickly, your head almost banged against the headboard. Almost..
"Oh shit- are you okay?" Megan suddenly yelled out, running towards you, as her hair bounced around her shoulders.
Cute.. really cute.
"Yeah yeah- I am fine-" you mumbled, placing your hand on your head, for support.
This all was rather comical to say the least. It looked like it came out of a romcom of some kind- Megan was almost kneeling before you, bent down to look at your head in worry, while you, on the other hand, were all bandaged up.
That was when though.. an idea came to mind.
"Ay- ay no, it hurts it hurts" you called out dramatically, eyes closing and brows knitting together.
Megan's eyes scanned your face, and as if she were on fight or flee mode, she immediately let out a gasp.
"Oh my God, really? Where, where does it hurt?" she asked, in panic, as her hands grabbed your cheeks gently, trying to look for any sign of discomfort.
You peeked at her with one of your eyes, enjoying the attention she was giving you. Eheh, now this is what you were talking about.
"Oh Megan it hurt so much.. my head.. it hurts here" you cooed out, pointing at your forehead, making a slight jab for her to check it out for herself.
Megan, of course, did just that. Her eyes focused on your forehead, as one of her hands left your cheek and instead gently traced it. She looked so worried, like you had been shot or something.
Was she perhaps feeling guilty over something? God, did someone say to her something? Actually, now you wanted to know.
"Don't knit your brows, it will hurt more Y/N" she gently mumbled, eyes now going back to yours.
Gosh those boba eyes, you could literally drown in them and die happily. She looked just so.. adorable and sweet..
Perhaps you should feel guilty about playing with her but right now.. you didn't. You were actually having fun.
Everything you ever wanted, you got right now, in front of you. Not only was Megan giving you attention, but she was also worried about you and your health! THAT IS TWICE IN A ROW! Another one and you'll get a bingo in your card.
"Megan" you quietly hummed, pouting your lips to try to appear cuter.
Megan furrowed her brows, looking at you "What is it?" she asked, already sensing something coming..
And she didn't know whether it was something good or bad.
"Could you do something for me?".
"What is it?".
"Could you.. kiss my forehead to make it better please?".
There it was, the trick. Of course you had to pull one.. or rather.. was this pulling on her sleeve.
She should've known better than to really believe your lies. You were always trying to make her do things out of pity, and quite frankly, in the past, while it may have worked, it wasn't now.
"No I am not gonna kiss your forehead" she exclaimed, sighing in frustration as she leaned back up and took a few steps back.
Your pout only widened, when you noticed her making distance "What are you doing, why are you so far".
"Because I am not here to play games Y/N" she folded her arms in front of her chest, as the sunglasses she had still stayed on top of her head, perfectly.
Uh, you hadn't noticed them until now. Wait.. no.. focus!
"I am not playing games Megan, I really am hurt.. pleaseee" you whined out, stretching gently your arms, enough to call her back towards your orbit.
Once again, Megan stood still. God, she was like a statue.
"I literally have known you for 4 years now, you think I don't remember all of these tricks?" she called you out on that one. Damn her.
Why did she have to actually be smart now? So rude, if you asked her.
"I am not playing tricks though Meg, I swear on.. on.. on MiMi" you proudly exclaimed, as you placed your hand on your head.. well.. your chest in this case.
For more context, MiMi was the plushie Megan had gifted you way back when you turned 18. It was your comfort item, something that reminded you of her, and you'd snuggle against it hours and hours on end.
Megan, recalling that, just sighed, before she turned around. It almost looked like she was about to leave the room. And this.. made you panic to no end.
You couldn't just let her leave like that! No way!
"Wai- wait-" you called out, about to jump out of the bed to go after her, when suddenly you tripped over the blanket and fell "Ah!".
Hearing your scream, Megan immediately turned around, and let me tell you, when she saw you on the floor, with your legs sprawled up in the air like a fish, her eyes widened.
She took off, running towards you "OH MY GOD Y/N!".
Her hands flew towards your arms, trying to help you get up. It almost was an impossible task, with all the tubes that were attached to your body, but somehow the two of you managed to do it.
"I am so sorry, I am so sorry" she kept chanting, as she helped you sit back on the bed.
Truth to be told, you didn't even feel that much pain, the medication was working.. but seeing her be so anxious and worried about you.. only fueled you to play along.
"You know what would make it better?" you whined out, as you played the part perfectly.
You just had her wrapped around your pinky now.
Megan looked at you, hands still holding onto your arms "What?".
"If you stayed with me for a bit more and kissed my forehead, I think that would help me so much".
Megan stayed quiet for a few seconds, eyes filled with frustration, yet worry at the same time. But among those emotions, something else stood out today, something you had never really seen.. fondeness.
"Fine.."
---
The week moved faster than you had anticipated.
True to her word, Megan kept visiting you, each and every single day. Unbestknown to you, she was actually starting to slowly warm more to the idea of spending her day with you.
Like for example, today out of all days.
"Why the book?" you asked, as you gazed up at her with puppy eyes. Were you trying to make her fall for you like that? Yes.. was it working? Most likely not.
Megan looked at you, before she let out a small laugh "To read of course".
You furrowed your brows. Read? Megan? In a damn hospital?
"Read? Aren't you literally dyslexic?" you commented, before you could stop yourself and think.
Megan sat quietly, for just a second too long, before she almost threw the book on your head. Ouch, so rude.
"Not me, idiot, you. I got it for you to read" she exclaimed, shaking her head at the comment.
Ah.. okay well that does explain a lot.
"Oooh.. but you know I don't like to read-" you pouted once more, attaching yourself to her arm like a koala.
To her, maybe you were being a pest, but in your mind, you thought this really was a cute thing to do.
Plus, Megan liked cute stuff.. that was her whole ORDEAL!
She took in a breath, shaking once more her head, before she handed you the book. She was being serious this time, you could tell by how her eyes looked with yours, stern but not unkindly.
"I saw you read all those fics now.. try a book".
"Says the girl!".
"I have difficulties in reading-".
"If you wanted me to read you something, you could've just said that in the first place" you cut her off, as a small smirk started to appear on your face.
That caught Megan off guard, because next thing she knew, a small tinted blush appeared on her cheeks. So invited and welcomed by you. And of course you couldn't let that go.
"Oh my God, are you blushing? How cuuute" you gushed out, poking her sweet sweet cheeks with your finger.
Lord give you strength, because you were so down bad. And perhaps Megan was not too far away from you herself.
"Stop-" she tried to say, pushing away gently your hand, but you kept going, smiling widely at her cute expression.
"Noooo, you are just too adorable, look at these cheeks-".
At some point, you finally stopped teasing her, just enough to give her space to calm down. And calm down she did, she literally stood up and walked around the room, trying to regain her composure.
You noticed, of course, and immediately tried to invite her back to your side, only this time, you wanted her to sit on the bed too.
"Cmon Megan, I am sorry, I'll read the book- heck I will read it to you, if you forgive meee" you whined out, showing her your best puppy eyes, for what felt like the hundreth time that week.
Megan turned around, looking at you. That was all it took for her to sigh in defeat. She really couldn't say no to you uh? Especially after the boo boo you got in that nasty accident.
She stayed quiet, as she walked towards you and sat right next to you. Perhaps she felt like this was all the way you were gonna go with her.. but no.. of course not.
In a matter of seconds, your arms wrapped around her waist, bringing her even closer to you. In a way, you had her trapped at your side, as your hands flipped open the book.
"Okay.. I will start to read nooow" you commented, giving her a wink as you placed your chin on her shoulder.
Megan didn't say anything, she stayed quiet still, but something.. something in her eyes made you think that she wasn't hating this.. quite at all. As a matter of fact, she may be loving it.
She looked down at the book, as you flipped it to the next page, looking at the various citations. Ugh, boring stuff really.
Your eyes kept going back to her though, perhaps too much, to the point that Megan had to pinch your hand because she was noticing it more and more. Did you blush? Of course not, you just laughed it off and squeezed her closer to you, smelling her sweet perfume and scent that was just so.. Megan.
Gosh, you truly adored this woman in front of you.. or beside you? Mhm.. whatever.
It was around 6 PM when you noticed that she was not listening to you anymore. Your eyes gazed at her gently, looking at how her eyes were now resting shut. Your heart almost melted at the sight.
She looked so innocent, so pure.. so sweet. And you couldn't help the small coo that left your lips. Right there and then you decided to place the book to the side and make more space for her to comfortably lay down, next to you.
You almost made her wake up while you were trying to do all that, but luckily, she just gave a hum of protest and went back to sleep. So, quietly, and gently, her back met the matress, as her head did the pillow underneath.
At that moment, you realized just how much the two of you had grown close. Or well, closer in this instant. While you were friends beforehand, now.. it felt different. Like those words she told you, when she rejected you.. didn't matter.
Like they had somehow changed because you two had changed.
Nooo, you shouldn't be thinking that! Darn Y/N.
As you looked down at Megan, you couldn't help thinking about the past though. About how you two had grown together, and now at 20.. still acted like idiots.. like you were 16 or something.
Granted, you were still young.
Talking about Megan.. perhaps.. what was your sweet Megan dreaming about, if not anything? Was there a chance that she was thinking of you? God, no, don't be delusional Y/N. That was not gonna go well with you.. ugh.
Gently, you tried to stand up from the bed, as you made your way towards the bathroom. Getting on the stupid wheelchair was harder than literally running the mile, but you did it, without anyone's help.
When you returned, someone was there, waiting for you.
"Megan? Go back to sleep" you mumbled kindly, under your breath, as you wheeled towards the bed.
Megan, who looked like she was still half asleep, gazed down at you and pouted. She had her hair all messed up, a few red signs on her arms and face.. just how much had she turned around in like 5 minutes?
"You left.." she quietly hummed, shifting closer to you, almost finding herself at the edge of the bed.
You looked up at her, giving her a smile. A smile that didn't quite reach your eyes. Lord, she was soooo cute.
"Megan.. I was just at the bathroom".
"Could've told me.."
"You were asleep babe" you bit back a laugh that was about to spill out of your lips.
"Could've woken up for you.." she mumbled, rubbing her eyes slightly, like a baby or something.
Really, you felt the urge to just stand up and kiss her all over the face, but you couldn't.. and no.. it wasn't because of the broken legs.
"Megan angel I didn't want to disturb you" you hummed, as you slowly tried to lay back onto the bed.
Seeing this, Megan almost regained her full consciousness, almost. But with what she had left, she grabbed you by the waist and helped you. In mere seconds, your bum touched the matress. There we go..
"Be careful.." she mumbled, fixing your gown.
You turned your head, to look at her, and replied with a slow thank you.
She only nodded, tiredly, before next thing you knew, her arms circled your waist, and her head laid sweetly on your chest. As if you were her own damn pillow.
I mean, at this point you could've be. You could've be persuaded to just be that.
"Megan.." you whispered, moreso into the night.
You knew well that she was not gonna hear that, because she was already fast asleep by the time you had said it. But it still felt like it had to be said.. like this next thing you were gonna say too.
"I love you.." you mumbled against her hair, as you kissed her scalp gently.
What a pain.. what a pain to love someone..
---
Finally, after 2 weeks there, you got discharged from that hell place! The ladies there smiled at you kindly, waving their hands as Megan wheeled you out of the hospital, alongside your parents.
She didn't know it just yet, but your parents, who were behind the two of you, were grinning like idiots, at seeing the two of you bickering about random stuff.
Why? Well, Megan had done the umistakable error of commenting about how one of the nurse students there was looking at you too fondly, and you of course, sensing a bit of jealousy, just teased her.
Your parents were thrilled to see the two of you getting along, and even more now knowing what you two had went through.
There was no doubt in their minds, Megan was the girl for you. And you clearly did love her, they could see it in your eyes. And they also knew.. that deep down, even if she was not ready yet to say it.. Megan felt the same way.
"Just like us" your father had mumbled under his breath, as he snuck a hand behind his wife's waist.
She only laughed in return and nodded "I mean.. I think they are much better looking at least".
"I DO NOT LIKE LEMONS" suddenly a voice yelled out.
It was you, of course it was you. You were whining at her for something she said. And your parents got startled by that, because while yes, you were almost like a spoiled child to them, you had never been like this with Megan.
"I know you do not like them you big baby, I just said that they would help with the pai-".
"I do not like lemons" you kept cutting her off, shaking your head like a child throwing a tantrum.
Megan sighed in exhasperation, throwing in the air her hands "Fine fine, no lemons" she muttered to you, before she poked your head.
"Ouch!" you whined once more, dramatically holding your head, just where she poked you.
Your parents had to surpress their laughter, as they saw just how much the two of you kept bickering. It was sweet, like a peach, but also fiery like.. meat? Well that analogy sucked.
Still, they couldn't help but love every second of it. Projection at its finest if you may.
Well, now it was not their pain anymore, it was Megan's. She took it upon herself to be in your life.. so she must know how you acted.
"Okay okay, stop the both of you, cmon, let's just get in the car" your mother called out, making the two of you freeze in motion.
Shit, she totally forgot that your parents were there and that they were listening and seeing everything.
"Uh yes ma'am" she nodded, obediently, as a small blush appeared on her cheeks.
"Oh honey, just call me Portia, after all, we are family no?" your mother laughed gently, shaking her head lovingly.
She had already claimed Megan as her daughter, after all.
"That's right, no need for formal names, we've known you for 4 years now" your father added, supporting his wife.
This, made you smile unconsciously. To know that your parents supported you and Megan.. and whatever this was.. felt so good.. so right.
"Alright then" Megan exclaimed, giving them a smile back, as the three of them started to help you get in the back of the car.
You almost fell down though, because you wanted to get on it alone, but when Megan looked at you, giving you one stinky eye, you obliged. Not even your parents could make you do that.
And they took note of that.
Just like that, you found yourself in that damn car, too small damn car, next to Megan, who decided that the best course of action was to literally sit so close to you that the air felt suffocating.
But you know what? You wouldn't have changed that for the world.
So you let her, and you also.. conveniently let your head fall against her chest, finding home there. Her hand that was already positioned on your thigh, just gave you a small squeeze.
It was a signal, a signal that meant that she accepted and let you do that.. perhaps only because you were still hurt from the waist down. Damn you and your adorable cast.
"Big baby" you heard her say under her breath, as she looked down at you with her eyes.
Even if she looked like she meant it.. you knew.. she didn't really.
She was just saying that to appear strong.. strong my ass.
Deep inside, Megan though, knew it herself. She knew that what she was feeling was just the beginning of something even bigger, something more magical. All those years back, she would've never thought of herself feeling like this for.. you.
But it checked out.
You two were.. so compatible. And no matter what she said, she loved this side of you.. this clingy, carefree side that she also had.. but with you, she had somehow.. hid? No, not hid, rather, not experienced just yet.
It would take time, for sure. But she knew that she was willing to try it out.. with you. Because in a way, you had caught her by surprise. So.. her falling for you, was not her fault really.
It was all your fault.
And to think.. to think that all of this.. started with an emergency.
Synopsis: the Earth and the Universe had made a pact, it seems.. and no matter how you saw it, a pact was a pact. Perhaps that was why two broken souls got linked together.. for the enjoyment of them..
Warnings: reader is meant to represent someone who is Asexual, I mean, I wrote her as that but you could also not see her as such.. still, wouldn't change much to the story. So if I did write something wrong, let me know..
Words: 3.6k
Love was never something you considered as important in your life. Well, sure, you grew up hearing about it and about how wonderful it was but.. in your mind.. it was not something you wanted for yourself.
Not that there was anything wrong with wanting to experience it, but the feeling of being.. so intimate with someone.. never did appeal to you really.
Perhaps that was why, the world had decided to set you up. Like a bitch.
The morning of your 23rd birthday, you awoke in a bedroom. Now, that wouldn't have been all that bad, if it weren't for the fact that.. that was not your bedroom. At all.
The walls were different, the desk was different, the floor was different, even the bed felt somewhat softer. What had happened? You remember you had fallen asleep in your bed.. so why were you suddenly here? Somewhere you didn't know the name of?
You looked to your right, glancing at the clock set on the drawer. 6 AM, uh, pretty early considering that you hated mornings. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes went to the window where the sun was shining through the barely visible curtains.
Whoever lived here really loved messiness I guess.
Gently, you got off the bed, feet landing on the floor. You had still clothes on, so that meant that you didn't drink nor had gotten high. Good. At least that was out of debate.
The smell inside the bedroom was sort of alluring, to say the least. You couldn't quite pinpoint what perfume this person who lived here used. But it was sweet, really sweet. Perhaps most would find it annoying, but you didn't mind.
Preferences I guess.
"Do I at least have my phone on me.." you sighed to yourself, looking around the room, like a lost puppy, even going as far as checking under the bed, which by the way, needed a good wipe.
Nothing, you couldn't find it. God damn it.
Just as you were about to throw a fit, and leave the room in anger, you heard the door open.
Okay so.. this is crazy but well.. the fact that you weren't much bothered nor scared about waking up in a stranger's bedroom.. may have been concerning. But.. well.. you were a very chill girl, for sure.. sooo.. could you really fault yourself for not overreacting? Or.. reacting at all.
Simply put, you didn't feel in danger, at least, enough to run away screaming in panic.
Anyway, as the door slowly opened behind you, you didn't have time to react as you heard a gasp.
.. what?
"Oh my God- who are you!" a high pitched voice yelled out in fear, before she grabbed the nearest chair she could find, the desk one, and got ready to hit you with it.
You.. of course.. turned around to look at her, and when you did, your eyes widened. This person.. somehow, felt familiar. You couldn't quite pinpoint where you had seen her but her face was very familiar.
Judging by how she sounded.. she was not the one to bring you here.. so.. yeah..
"Wait wait, calm down please-" you tried to say, holding up your hands in defense, which of course, was not enough to calm her down.
"Calm down?! There is a random girl in my room!" she continued to shout, holding the chair closer to her chest.
Okay.. you were gonna die uh. This was it.
You took a deep breath in and walked closer to her, hands still in the air "Listen to me- I am not here to hurt you- I just woke up here!".
Her eyes squinted slightly, and you could just picture a small bar on top of her head loading the info into her brain. Looking at her like this, she was even cute. Well, cuter than most girls you met in real life.. let's be honest.. you weren't that sociable.
"How the fuck does one just wake up randomly in another person's bedroom?".
You almost wanted to sulk into the ground.
"That's what I am saying! I don't know- all I remember is going to sleep in my own bed and then boom, I woke up here-".
You tried.. tried to explain but well.. how could you when you didn't know yourself? At least she had lowered the chair in the meantime, sensing you were not someone to be afraid of.
"How can I really trust you about that?" she asked, raising an eyebrow of interest, and to be fair.. she was right.
You too would be dubtious about yourself.. if you had been in the same situation as her.
But that didn't change the fact that you were not lying.
"Listen.. did you sleep in the same bed as I woke up in? Well, if that is so then tell me how I could have sneaked in without making you notice when you had everything locked and then wait for you to wake up and then get into your bed to sleep? All while not alerting you of anything?" you explained to her, using your hands as a way to communicate with her.
If she didn't understand words then you would give her some hand signs.. surely she was smart enough to understand those.
And of course, she did. She may have taken a few seconds to register what you had said, but when she did, she let out a long hum. Seemingly a hum of approval.
And then..
"So.. is this some sort of like soulmate kind of thing? Because like.. I am so in".
---
Megan.. the girl you had such a pleasure meeting.. was much more interesting than you had originally thought.
She looked harmless, sort of also scary at times.. especially with her dark hair that she swore was her real color. But when she would smile.. well, her whole demeanour would change.
She really did look like a puppy, a golden retreiver at most. Especially with those small dimples that complimented her so well.
To be fair, you were expecting way worse on first impact. Someone irrational, someone who did first and then thought. But.. well.. while that was sort of true.. she was also rather emotional.
You had learned quite a lot that day about her. Stuff that perhaps was too personal to say to someone while first meeting them. But perhaps that was the charm in her. She was so easy going that you didn't care if she spilled everything about herself. You would've kept it to yourself either way.
And that was what you had promised to her as well.
The walk back home was quiter than you'd like to admit. The streets felt somehow hollower.. slower.. even more deserted than what you had anticipated.
It almost felt like there was this small string following your every step. Maybe you were starting to become paranoid, but who wouldn't. Especially after what had happened.
The last thing Megan had asked you before you left, was for your phone number. At first, you didn't understand why. I mean, not many were interested in you. But perhaps she was just curious.. and wanted to simply get to know you better.
So.. you gave it to her, after a lot of pestering on her behalf.
The smile she gave you the second she dialed your number, well.. let's just say, it made you almost sigh in cuteness. She really was adorable uh.
Still, you kept weary for the next few days. There was no logical explanation for this, not that there would even be a reason for one to exist in the first place.. people don't just.. disappear from their bed to wake up in another.
You decided to shrug the feeling off of your shoulders, opting to focus your attention on more important things like.. work and whatnot.
At first, that was enough for you. Deadlines were catching your ass and your boss seemed angrier by the day, but really, what could you do except accept it? It was not like.. you could go against him.. and.. you know.. throw him out of the window like he deserved.
And like that, here you were.. in the middle of yet another working day. It was around 5 PM and usually that would be the hour you'd clock out.. but you couldn't just yet.
You had another project you had to finish by that day, of course, because otherwise the client.. lovely client that you had been assigned to.. would get mad and by default, refuse to pay the company for the service.
Money was tight already as it was. You couldn't lose yet another client because of something called rest. Fuck rest, right now, money was more important.
As the seconds ticked by, you couldn't help the sigh that left your lips. Something was troubling you, and no.. it was not work..
In the last 2 days, you had started to get these weird dreams.. weird to the point of waking up sweating like a man running a marathon. What was even crazier was that no matter how much you tried.. you couldn't remember them.
It was like.. the second you awoke, all those memories.. poof! Disappeared.
And you'd be damned..
You wouldn't even be able to go back to sleep, because by that point, it was almost time to start the day.. so.. yeah.. things weren't going all that great.
"Shit" you mumbled to yourself, placing your head on top of your hands, that were resting on the desk. Everyone had basically left already. The only people left were you and most likely.. the janitor, who always took pity on you.
She was so sweet.. almost like a second mother.
Whatever, no time to get lost in those things.. you had work to finish, and you were gonna finish it whether you were dying or about to pass out.
So you pushed through, you held back up your head and your fingers found your keyboard in mere seconds, typing away all the informations the client needed.
About 20 minutes later, you felt it again.. the headache. Only.. this time.. it was getting stronger.
Your eyes blinked, trying to regain the last conscience part of your brain, but you were feeling bad. The world felt like it was spinning, and your vision was starting to get blurry.
That was.. until.. you saw it.
A silhouette, walking closer to you.. holding out a hand. Somehow, even if everything was white around you and you could only imagine who this person was.. you weren't scared.. didn't feel scared.
No.. it was.. almost comforting.
You held up your hand, almost ready to grab it, but you weren't fast enough.. and like that.. the silhouette disappeared in an instant.
Cold.. now you felt cold.. like you had been thrown ice water on in the middle of winter.
It wasn't a pretty feeling at all.. you hated it.. it almost reminded you of your past.. of those judging eyes..
"Not yet.." you heard a voice call out to you. Wait.. was it a voice.. or multiple? Was that voice masking the real voice that was talking or was it.. just multiple voices combined together?
What did all of this mean? Why were you being tortured so? Was the Universe laughing at your disgrace? Was the Universe mocking you? Like all those kids back in the day?
No.. no.. couldn't be..
No.. you wouldn't allow that to happen.. again..
---
"Y/N.."
"Y/N"
"Y/N!"
Your eyes shot open, and before you could stop yourself, you sat up.
"Fuck!" you yelled out, as you felt pain shoot right straight to your head. How was this possible.. why was your head hurting so much? What had happened?
"Oh thank God you are okay- DO NOT MOVE!" a voice called out to you, holding your hands against the soft material that was placed under you.
Hey.. wait a minute.. you recognized this material.. and this voice..
Oh shit..
"Megan? Wha- what are you doing here?" you asked, looking up at her, meeting her worried big eyes, which were staring right back at you.
You could almost see the fear behind them.. had you really scared her that much?
Wait..
"I should ask you the that.. considering you are back here" she mumbled, checking on your head, trying to see if you had gotten somewhat hurt or something.
You blinked, looking down at your hands, and the bed.. the same bed you had laid on around a week ago. You were back here.. just like that.
How was that possible.. you were just literally at work.. how did you get back here once more?
"Megan" you started, eyes not leaving your hands "What time is it?".
Your tone was very firm, but also very tired, like you were done with this push and pull game that the Earth and Universe were playing with you. It was not funny.. it was not nice.. it felt like a bitch. Like you were their bitch.
Megan stopped examinating your head, looking down at you confused. She even did the thing.. tilting her head to the side and giving you a small pout.
"It is 6 AM" she replied, almost like she was used to saying it.. just exactly how many people woke up in her room in the middle of the morning? You know what.. you didn't even want to know really.
"6 AM" you repeated, nodding your head. Okay.. same hour.. same place..
Well shit.. if this wasn't a coincidence.
"You okay? Do you need anything?" Megan asked, pulling back from you and looking at your eyes. You hadn't noticed but the way her hair looked right now.. most likely meant that she had been asleep not long ago..
Wait a second..
Your eyes widen at the realization that hit you, before you could really stop yourself "Wait- shit were you sleeping before I got here?".
Megan's eyes darted away from yours.. and judging by how she was biting her lower lip, yeah, it didn't take a genius to realize what was happening.
"I mean.."
"Megan do not lie to me now.. I already have a killer headache, don't need a liar too.. left them in the past thank you" you cut her off, holding out a finger to point it at her, all while your brows knitted together.
Sure, that expression made your headache worse.. but it was necessary.. or at least.. you were that stubborn.. so what?
Megan looked to the side once more, before she sighed in resignation. Good.. good..
She was gonna tell the truth.. the whole truth.
"Okay.. fine.. yes I was sleeping and then next thing I knew, I felt someone beside me and of course I panicked and jumped out of bed. I am not gonna lie, I was about to strike you with a pan but then I saw that it was you so.." she tried to give you a cute smile, to save grace but your cold stare made her immediately stop.
Truth to be told.. you weren't mad.. nor were you particularly bothered. In the end.. you were the one getting spawned into her bedroom in the middle of the night. Now I am sorry but a logical person would've called the police by the second time.
Instead.. not only did Megan just forgo that.. but she also had placed you at the center of the bed, and tried waking you up gently.
Plus.. that pan laying on the drawer really was tying the whole story up so.. you didn't have any reason to scold her.
"Well.. I guess this is my fate uh? Getting basically teleported into your bedroom until my last days alive" you sighed, more so to yourself, before your back hit the matress once more.
You were never gonna tell her, but by the second time that this had happened.. you were starting to get comfortable on her bed. The mattress really was the softest cloud on earth, and you'd pay thousands just to sleep on it.
Perhaps if you asked nicely.. she would let you.. mhm.
"Hey.. I don't mind really.. it's like, having a roommate that comes once every week.. not that bad".
"Yeah, but that sneaks up to you and basically ends up invading your bed, making you jump in fear".
"It wasn't that bad.. I actually liked it.. for the 2 seconds that I didn't realize it could've been a murderer" she tried to joke, giving you a smile, topped with a wink. Though clearly, her brain was not working, because it ended up being a mess.
A cute one.. but a mess nonetheless.
"Great way to flirt Megan" you mumbled, letting out a chuckle leave your lips. If you weren't so tired, you wouldn't be so bold. But perhaps that was why the Universe (you decided it was the Universe) was doing this to you.
Maybe this all meant something.. like Megan kept bugging you about on chat.
Still.. it felt weird.
In a turn of events, as you closed your eyes, letting the darkness fill you, you felt a head lay against your shoulder. At first, you got confused, opening one eye to check on her, but then, as you saw how she took the blankets and placed them on top of you two, you understood.
She was tired.. and you were too, so the best option for the both of you was to simply.. sleep.
And really.. that was a flawless logic conclusion.. you approved wholeheartedly.
You just didn't think she was gonna be so bold as to literally lay her head on top of your shoulder like this. But I guess that a week of chatting online made her bold enough to get clingy to you.
And while there were many questions you wanted to ask.. many you needed an answer to, like.. what happened to the project? Did you manage to send it to the client, to finish it on time? What day was it, the next day?
Well, you still prefered to ignore them.. the problems.. the questions..
Because right now, it felt like you were literally in space. The room was dark, strangely, and you had to just guess that most likely Megan had bought new curtains, to eliminate the sun light from shining in so early.
You appreciate that so much. It meant more to you than she could've known.
But the other thing that made you feel like you were floating in space, was that the second your eyes would close, stars would appear on your vision. And when you'd open them.. it was as if you were laying on top of a planet, watching the Universe around you.
All while she was laying her head on your shoulder, slowly breathing in and out.. clearly asleep.
You couldn't help the way your lips slowly curled up in a smile. She was just so.. sweet like that..
Sure, she looked like a mess, but you had to admit.. it was a very pretty mess.
Gently, you placed a strand of hair behind her ear, letting your finger linger to her cheek just a few seconds too long, and when you tried to pull it back, you felt a tug..
A tug coming from her, and her hand.. basically guiding your hand back to her cheek. You understood immediately what she was trying to say.. so you let it lay there, gently, as you noticed the expression on her face softening up.
What was she dreaming about? God you actually wanted to know..
Perhaps one day the Universe was gonna just play with you and connect your dreams together..
Well.. if that were to ever happen.. let yourself be damned.. you wouldn't mind it.
---
Megan was smart. Very smart for her age. She knew how things worked, and knew just what buttons to push. At least.. that was what she really believed.
When she had found you in her room, at first, she'd admit.. she thought you were a weirdo. But then, after hearing you.. she understood that something else was going on.
Then again, it would've been far easier to call you crazy and dial for the police.. but what was the fun in that?
The next day, she had gone to her mother, telling her about what had happened. One thing that not many knew about her, was that she was very.. superstitious.
She believed in ghosts, in souls.. in all that sort of stuff as long as it really was positive. So, when this had happened.. she truly believed it was some sort of divine sign.
Her mother listened to her, nodding along to the story. Not once had she looked really surprised about what she was hearing. It was almost as if.. she had been waiting for her to tell her.
And when she had finished, her mother gave her a serious look, inviting her to join her for a talk with a 'friend'.
That was what Mama Skiendiel called her.. but well.. in reality, she was spiritual guru.. or something like that. Someone who could read into these kind of things and tell you what they meant.
And sweet Megan? Well.. she of course went there, told her everything, and listened carefully to what the guru was telling her.
She'll admit, at first, she wasn't all that convinced, but the more this guru talked, the more her mind had made up a choice. It really was fate that linked you to her.
Going back a few years.. it was no mystery that Megan loved love. She was a romantic at heart. She wanted to experience love, in all shapes and forms. Unfortunately.. love was not that friendly to her.. or at all.
Whenever she had a crush on someone, she'd get rejected. One reason would turn into 2 and then 3. And soon enough, she had somehow.. in a way.. 'given up on love'.
Not for others.. oh no.. but moreso.. for herself.
Almost like.. a broken soul.
What the guru told her, when she was explaning what your presence meant for her, and her life.. was eye opening. The guru knew everyting about her.. without her having told her anything.
It was creepy but also raw. Like.. she could just read people like that!
When she walked out of that darked room, she felt like a new person, truly.. deep inside.
She was right.. she really was right..
You were here.. you were in her life for a reason. And that reason was more appealing than what she had anticipated.. more thrilling than what she had anticipated.
You were another broken soul... like her.. and the two of you.. made a whole.
