🥀

I do NOT promote self harm/ or PRO ana. I use this as a place to express my feelings. ♡feel free to message me for help or if you need to talk. I love making new friends.♡ 18+

[thewickeylady]

Meet Emmy! Our new puppy❤🐶

[thewickeylady]

Quick updates from me! I've been working since july! I've been a server which is crazy since my anxiety is awful but its actually help me get out of my shell some. The money is amazinggggg.

Ava started 1st grade August 24th and she loves in. Shes not doing virtual, her school is fully in person. Shes doing so good and has grown so much 🥺❤

[thewickeylady]

First day as a first grader😍💙📚

[thewickeylady]

It seriously suckkssss when you've been on various antidepressants & mood stabilizers since you were 11, yes eleven years old and still they haven't done their job. I'm now creeping up on 27 wondering when it will finally just balance out. Yes they work to an extent. . Unfortunately they work just enough to keep the edge off, but that doesn't help even on the days when your mind is at its worst. Mental illness is awful.

[thewickeylady]

Is thick thigh thursday a thing? Cause it is now boyyyy🤙🏻 was feeling myself so fuck it 🥴 https://www.instagram.com/p/CDR6BN1BS3QHcblNhOg3C0oJ0cVhbluRJSFOkU0/?igshid=zgem5oavbm26

[thewickeylady]

🥴🥴🥴

[anotherfucked-up-girl]

[hardfeelings2-deactivated202010]

[thewickeylady]

[thewickeylady]

Heyyyyaaaa

[thewickeylady]

How is she about to be six?!

[getsmallforsummer]

HARD PILLS TO SWALLOW

“I need to lose weight so bad. My rolls are all over the place. Maybe I’ll skip dinner!” -my mom looking in the mirror, age 8

“These people are disgusting, I can’t even watch this show without wanting to throw up” -my mom watching weight loss shows, age 11

“That dress is perfect! Now we just have to make sure you don’t gain any weight before July because it’s already pretty tight” -my mom and aunt as I was trying on bridesmaid dresses, age 13

“Don’t worry, she was a bigger girl. Not really my type, know what I mean?” -my ex talking about his ex girlfriend, age 16

“Has she gained weight? Man, she’s really letting herself go. I mean, she used to be so pretty” -my friend talking about his ex, age 20

“Babe you gotta take it easy on the sugar! That’s how you get a big belly like (coworker), *laughs*” -my boyfriend on an ice cream date, age 21

Every time you made a fat-shaming comment, no matter who the target was, you taught me my ED mindset. You taught me that the world will love me less if I’m fat. You taught me that pretty equals skinny. You praised me when I was low weights and cautioned me when I was gaining. So don’t turn it around on me asking me how this could have happened:

what did you expect?

[skinnyrollercoaster]

This really needs to be fucking heard by everyone…

[deathdrinksteawith-ana]

Trigger warning!!! I think this is super important, and needs to be heard and read and understood.  You can affect peoples lives, even if you don’t mean to! Especially for the worst, so please be mindful about what you say.

[thewickeylady]

⚠️possible content warning ⚠️ Oh how I long for and miss this body. I felt so beautiful, I know I was more beautiful. Society showed me I was. But, was it society or was it ne feeling more confident to speak to people in a body without fear of rejection I had forever recieved. People spoke to me more, people wanted to get to know me. Eating disorders are something that are kept so hushed, but they need to be talked about. I went from a bullied middle school kid, to high school kid.. to skipping meals pacing around the bathroom t avoid lunch, when an eating disorder grips you it doesn't just affect you first physically, it begins to eat at you mentally. I am constantly thinking about food and how awful it was for me. I went days without eating and felt proud, every time I felt a growl in my stomach it felt like a cheer for me. Being thin meant everything to me, and I'd be lying if I said I still dont have an eating disorder. I know I will for the rest of my life, but there's things you can do to prevent and "lessen" the reigns of the voices in your head. Therapy, accept that people love you and want to help you.

I still obsess over calories, panic if I don't know how much is in something or don't know what the ingredient are of a food. But I will tell you, my hair doesn't fall out anymore. I don't have to take pills to keep me awake from not having any energy. I don't purge my food anymore, I dont abuse laxatives, or hide food that I "pretended" to eat. I don't bruise all over my body as easily as I use to the lack of iron and nutrients my body needed. My skin doesn't look "sickly" like it used too. I can sleep without feeling my bones uncomfortably pushing into other parts of my body.

Next time before you decide to judge someone on their weight, just take a second to think about how it might affect their mental health. Telling someone they need to lose weight might hit someone a lot harder then you would expect.

#ed #eatingdisorder #ednos #eatingdisorderrecovery #bodypositivity

[thewickeylady]

I really need advice.

[thewickeylady]

[thewickeylady]

I love you all. Thank you for being such great friends to me. I will miss you.

[babyangelmoons]

please stop acting like you do.