We live in a time of disorienting change. I think Obama said that. But the Pizza Hut lunch buffet remains the same. And that is a comfort. The buffet is from 11-2 and costs 6.99. It is a great deal. Many promises were made in our country’s founding documents. This is what remains. But it’s not nothing. It attracts the same type of people as it always has, the poor fat families, the elderly, those (like myself) who live on the margins of society. We regard each other respectfully at first but we know what comes next. This is a sport. In this group of losers there are winners and there are losers. People stake out tables near the buffet so they can hop out of their seat and land a fresh slice or breadstick. A pie will not last on the buffet for more than three minutes. The amateurs don’t know this. They sit in the back of the dining room. They are left to feast on the bastard pies, the black olive, the thin crust. Me and someone else begin to request pies. I tell the chef “Get crazy in there”. He becomes Thomas Keller sending out pies with sausage and peppers and BBQ sauce, buffalo chicken, crumbled blue cheese. He even put buffalo wings on one pie. People applauded. A woman began to cry. Alliances began to form. A large woman would pass me and say “pepperoni is out, one sausage, one special (meaning multiple toppings. Can’t stop and name them) new sticks.” I would return the favor by dropping off a fresh Marinara when I passed her table. Her criminally obese children began to play video games and she lost it “We came to eat. Don’t tell me your hungry later. You eat NOW!” The waitress, a small sweet woman, begins to speak quietly as she seems to know the gravity of what she’s about to say. “Many of you have asked about the dessert pies, the Apple and Cherry, we have discontinued them. We have cinnamon sticks but no icing”. She then disappeared quickly. There was an audible grown. One man said “Jesus fucking CHRIST!” I turned to a woman “This isn’t right. Something must be done”. She agreed “Send us out more pies!” An obese toddler began to throw a fit. Her mother began to plead with the woman “She loves the icing. I told her there would be icing”. The worker seemed like she was about to cry “I’m sorry. We ran out”. The worker then consulted a manager and said “We will extend the buffet today till 2:30” and relative calm began to return. A man next to me said “They did the right thing”. I said “There’s no right or wrong here, there’s just competing interests”. He said “I think you’re right,” and ladled ranch dressing over a Hawaiian slice.
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