Sh*t People Say to Rowers
1. It looks so easy! 2. Is it more like canoeing or kayaking? 3. I went canoeing once… 4. What happened to your hands?! 5. Do you row in a swimsuit? 6. In the winter, do you row in a swimming pool? 7. Have you seen “The Social Network?” 8. I use the rowing machine at the gym sometimes. 9. Like this? *Moves hands in circular motion to simulate perceived idea of rowing stroke* 10. Are you the one who gets to yell at everyone while they row? 11. You must have really strong arms. 12. Do you row in one of the ten person boats? 13. If there are two person and four person boats, why aren’t there three person ones? 14. Do you call them “meets” or “competitions?” 15. Your blisters look gross. 16. I totally understand, I had to get up at 6AM once for a soccer tournament. 17. Are races actually intense? 18. You eat like a bird. 19. You never stop eating! 20. Is it ever hard to breath during a race? 21. How do you stay in sync with the other people in your boat? 22. I would definitely want to be the coxswain because it looks easy. All you do is say “row.” 23. I saw it in the Olympics once… 24. Is it called an “urg” because of the sounds you make when you’re on it? 25. I thought the rowing machine was really easy, actually. 26. *gets on erg, sets units to calories, pushes the drag all the way up, begins jerking around for a minute or two, gives up* 27. Once you learn how to row, you don’t have to practice anymore, right? 28. Isn’t the proper term for “rowing” “sculling?” 29. You row in the rain?? 30. You row in the snow??? 31. Those boats must only cost a couple hundred dollars. 32. Where can I rent one of those canoes? 33. You row without a life jacket?? 34. Teach me sometime! 35. Oh. This is actually really difficult.
