FlyingSolo

Nothing gold can stay

[theycallmeerrk]

Curtain call

My alarm goes off

I open my eyes and jump out of bed

And just like that it’s five minutes to show time

I look in the mirror and mentally prepare myself

For a role I’ve played so many times before

Everyday i masquerade as this tough guy with thick skin

Someone too confident to care what others think

Someone who is in control of his anxiety

Yet as my head hits the pillow

The curtain closes on yet another performance

It’s curtain call then everything gets consumed by darkness

As I close my eyes I find myself surrounded by

Every negative thought, I fought to keep silent

I try to calm them and slow my heart rate

Only for every sound I try to make to be stifled by my anxiety

Tears begin to slowly run down my face

Barely managing to drown my demons

The show ends just so another one can begin

[theycallmeerrk]

and if i asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?

[theycallmeerrk]

You hated me.

Almost as much as you hate yourself.

So much so you were willing to poison; a young mind.

You fed me self-doubt.

Thinking it would cripple me,

Like it crippled you.

You did everything you could to diminish my light.

Throwing hurtful words at me, while also throwing punches.

You put these demons in my head;

Then blamed me when they fought with yours.

Now you’re asking for forgiveness?

Just because mine taught me to survive

When yours caused you to sink.

You say you’ve changed,

But we both know that’s not true.

Wrote this but don’t have a title so pls help

[theycallmeerrk]

You think you're smarter than me with all your bad poetry

Fuck all your ABC's, alphabet boy

[theycallmeerrk]

I know I'll be alright, but I'm not tonight

[theycallmeerrk]

Left me with letters and a promise

But I need a body, not a poem

[theycallmeerrk]

Heaven like

Your embrace felt like heaven,

And the longer you held me

the quieter my demons became

Until they sounded like an echo .

Only to be snapped into reality

When you left,

As you walked away my demons got louder

Until they were shouting, “He doesn’t like you.”

They yelled it over and over

broke my heart to convince myself

That maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

As I sat there my heart slowly turning to stone

The voices got louder and louder,

Until I couldn’t hear anything else.

Yet those hazel eyes of yours

Somehow found a way to cut through the noise,

And slowly you chipped away at the stone,

Only to break my heart again once you let go.

Your embrace felt like heaven,

And the longer you held me

The quieter my demons became.

Until they sounded like an echo.

You felt like heaven, but you just weren’t meant to be mine.

[maaarine]

Guardian News: “‘You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words,’ climate activist Greta Thunberg has told world leaders at the 2019 UN climate action summit in New York.”

[theycallmeerrk]

I wish I didn’t like you

I wish that I could just see you as a friend

Or that my heart didn’t race, when I’m around you

I wish that I could stop thinking of you

I wish that you liked me back

But you can’t always get what you wish for

[theycallmeerrk]

[theycallmeerrk]

My mind always seems to wanders,

And the thought of you

Is never far behind.

[lilsugarbush]

do i have any weird followers that want to transfer me money for absolutely no reason at all

[theycallmeerrk]

We both can hear the music

But neither of is brave enough to,

Dance.

[naturaekos]

““There is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.””

— Vincent van Gogh (via goodreadss)

[henrvcavill]

Tom Holland ph. by Michael Muller for Man About Town (2019)

[theycallmeerrk]

Complicated mess

My mind feels clouded

And I’m trying to shine some light on it

To clear out this fog

But the more I focus on it the stronger it gets

And the deeper into it I find myself

I close my eyes and slow my breathing

To the point where my body shuts down

And in the that instance I hear you calling out for me

I open my eyes

and I see you in the distance

the closer I get the quieter you get

I can feel myself being drawn to you

But the fear of getting too close is overwhelming

Because the closer I get to you

the heavier my heart feels

Just one look and the fog is gone

Replaced by doubt and confusion

I’m into you and you’re into her

I try to distance myself

But that laughter of yours pulls me closer

And before we get too close we’re pulled apart

Like magnets we try to function

But You pull and I push

They say opposites attract

But maybe we’re just too similar to ever work

And all this is just too complicated

I can’t seem to cut you off

Even if it means losing a piece of myself

[theycallmeerrk]

So what now I’m just suppose to pay for people’s onlyfans, what kind of bullshit is this tumblr?