[theyshedumbass]

i was able to listen to love story with minimal crying and sang along to it. sang and danced to wi$h li$t. healing has started and it feels good. i am going to be okay :)

[everoutoftouch]

If you have Spotify reblog this and tag what your number one song on your “on repeat” playlist is.

[theyshedumbass]

podría morir y esperarte una vida

no tengas miedo a sentir

te amaría por mil años más

amarte por mil años más

yo siempre supe que te encontraría

no hay tiempo para decir

que te amaría por mil años más

amarte por mil años más

[theyshedumbass]

what if i hadn't gone over that night? what if we had waited until saturday like we said we were gonna? would things still be okay? i need to stop dwelling but it's hard. i just miss you. i miss joking with you. i hate this.

[theyshedumbass]

WHAT DO U MEAN I'M THE ONLY PERSON YOUVE LET TOUCH YOUR BARE ASS (it was so nice) HOW ARE YOU GONNA LET ME TOUCH YOUR BARE ASS AND THEN FUCKING END THINGS LIKE WHAT???????????? also discovered earlier that when i cleared out my snap memories of us, i forgot the video of littlest bro on facetime asking if you liked older men. i sobbed like a fucking baby after seeing it. i can't stop crashing out. i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i fucking miss you so fucking much it hurts i want to throw up i just want things to be back to how they were. i want to sit on the floor and eat dominos and watch avatar. i want to lie in your bed hugging that pink peep plush to my chest while my head rests on your chest and your arm is around me and you turn on a youtube video to fall asleep to. i want to wake up to your alarms. i want you. i just want you. it makes me feel physically ill. got a fucking wish list. i keep seeing things that remind me directly of you. it fucking sucks. i'm in constant emotional pain. i try to stay busy and go see my friends and family but god fucking dammit i stay up all night and think of you and cry and cry and cry and cry. i wish i could just hate you the way you hate me now. i wish it was that simple. i fear i'm going to love you forever. i hope one day you forgive me, not for my own sake, not because /i/ deserve it, but because you deserve to heal and not hold onto the resentment. you deserve peace and happiness. i just wish it was me that was still providing it. you told me i was the only person to ever make your brain stop being so loud. i hate myself for hurting you, for irreversibly fucking us up. i just want you. please. i'm so sorry. please.

[theyshedumbass]

"it's the last thing you wanted (tell me, which side are you on, dear?)

it's the first thing you do (give me some tips to forget you)

you tell me your problems (have i become one of your problems?)

and i tell you the truth (could it be easy this once?)

it's the last thing you wanted (everything that's mine is a landmine)

it's the first thing i'd do (did my love aid and abet you?)

i tell you that i think i'm falling back in love with you

and i'll ruin it all over

i'll ruin it for you

i'll ruin it all over

and over like i always do"

[theyshedumbass]

i think i wanna text u - vaultboy

[theyshedumbass]

"you shit-talked me under the table

talking rings and talking cradles

i wish i could unrecall

how we almost had it all

dancing phantoms on the terrace

are they secondhand embarrassed

that i can't get out of bed

'cause something counterfeit's dead?

it was legendary

it was momentary

it was unnecessary

should've let it stay buried

oh, what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye

the coward claimed he

was a lion

i'm combing through

the braids of lies

'i'll never leave'

'never mind'

our field of dreams

engulfed in fire

your arson's match,

your somber eyes

and i'll still see it

until i die

you're the loss of my life."

[theyshedumbass]

i've hit my friend with holden tudix two times now and it hasn't gotten less funny so at least that wasn't ruined 😭 anyway

[theyshedumbass]

oh and you were in my dream again. littlest bro was there too for some reason. i miss them a lot. when i deleted our pictures i found the screenshot of when i first texted little bro and what he told me he hoped for. yeah, i hoped for that too. i hope they're doing alright. i'm always sending them all the good vibes and love i can.

[theyshedumbass]

you're all i fucking want and it's killing me. do you regret it? i try not to think too hard about it but all i know is that i don't. you were what i needed. might still be. i'm sorry. here's a snippet from the song. i miss you. i wonder all the time.

you showed me the music

for the broadcast for the weather

i sat in your living room

in my oversized sweater

wondering what i did

to find someone i match with so well

and you handed me a cold drink

that i had only thought about

but you read my mind

you knew just the way to tell

exactly what i needed

i just didn't know it back then

[theyshedumbass]

gonna make a playlist of songs that make me wanna puke from heartbreak so i can crash out to it. also i'm cali sober again bc i have no coping mechanisms and i'm not ready to write a poem abt this.

[theyshedumbass]

crashing out to taylor swift daily but what else is new

[ohmightydevviepuu]

Stand With Minnesota Donation Directory

Stand With Minnesota is a hub for supporting, learning, and taking action to support Minnesotans impacted by ICE and federal enforcement.

[crabussy]

bagels for breakfast bagels for lunch toasting them good so they have a nice crunch. bagels in the morning bagel in the afternoon bagel big and round got me howling at the moon

[sexhaver]

that Brian Eno quote about how whatever you find most repulsive about a medium (film grain, record scratches/fuzz, CDs skipping) will be the first thing you try and emulate once that medium is obsolete because it's "the sign of a moment too powerful for the medium assigned to contain it".... man.......

[funkylilpunk]

“Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.” -Brian Eno

[aaaangel444]