a diamonds guide to life

Los Angeles. student.22 travler. i lead you follow i give advice.

[roseroyalty-moving]

Do u ever not realize how starved for affection u are till someone hugs u a bit tighter than normal and you find that you really don’t want to let go

[clearlyafandomblog]

Touch starvation is actually a thing. The term for it that’s emerging in medical/psych circles is “skin hunger”. We as humans are meant to be much more social- and especially physically social - than we actually are, and Americans in particular are often touch starved because the casual, platonic contact that often happens between friends in other places just. Does not happen here.

There’s a really Puritan idea that’s pervaded our culture, that touch and sex are inherently linked, and it’s doing us a massive disservice. Touch is incredibly important for humans- hugs reduce blood pressure, cuddling releases oxytocin, and babies will straight up DIE without being touched enough because the stimulation releases hormones that are integral to their healthy development.

We were never meant to hold one another at arm’s length, and if you feel you need physical contact, don’t be afraid to ask for it! Hug your mom. Cuddle a friend on the couch. Ask. There’s a good chance that they need contact just as much as you do.

[whothebuckisfuckybruh-deactivat]

person: what’s wrong with you

me: i have the Skin Hunger

[psychology-studyofthesoul-blog]

40 Lessons for Finding Strength in Hard Times.

Sometimes you have to die a little on the inside first in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger, smarter version of yourself.

Nobody gets through life without losing someone they love, someone they need, or something they thought was meant to be.  But it is these losses that make us stronger and eventually move us toward future opportunities for growth and happiness.

Over the past five years Angel and I have dealt with several hardships, including the sudden death of a sibling, the loss of a best friend to illness, betrayal from a business partner, and an unexpected (breadwinning) employment layoff.  These experiences were brutal.  Each of them, naturally, knocked us down and off course for a period of time.  But when our time of mourning was over in each individual circumstance, we pressed forward, stronger, and with a greater understanding and respect for life.

Here are some lessons we’ve learned along the way:

You are not what happened to you in the past. – No matter how chaotic the past has been, the future is a clean, fresh, wide open slate. You are not your past habits. You are not your past failures. You are not how others have at one time treated you. You are only who you think you are right now in this moment. You are only what you do right now in this moment.

Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t. – You are who you are and you have what you have, right now.  And it can’t be that bad, because otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this.  The important thing is simply to find one POSITIVE thought that inspires and helps you move forward.  Hold on to it strongly, and focus on it.  You may feel like you don’t have much, or anything at all, but you have your mind to inspire you.  And that’s really all you need to start moving forward again.  Read The How of Happiness.

Struggling with problems is a natural part of growing. – Part of living and growing up is experiencing unexpected troubles in life.  People lose jobs, get sick, and sometimes die in car accidents.  When you are younger, and things are going pretty well, this harsh reality can be hard to visualize.  The smartest, and oftentimes hardest, thing we can do in these kinds of situations is to be tempered in our reactions.  To want to scream obscenities, but to wiser and more disciplined than that.  To remember that emotional rage only makes matters worse.  And to remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are, they give us an opportunity to grow stronger.

It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. – You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.  And a smile doesn’t always mean a person is happy.  Sometimes it simply means they are strong enough to face their problems.

Life is fragile, sudden, and shorter than it often seems. – There may not be a tomorrow – not for everyone.  Right now, someone on Earth is planning something for tomorrow without realizing they’re going to die today.  This is sad but true.  So spend your time wisely today and pause long enough to appreciate it.  Every moment you get is a gift.  Don’t waste time by dwelling on unhappy things.  Spend it on things that move you in the direction you want to go.

You will fail sometimes. – The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work.  Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  So get out there and try!  Either you succeed or you learn a vital lesson.  Win – Win.

You have the capacity to create your own happiness. – Feelings change, people change, and time keeps rolling.  You can hold onto past mistakes or you can create your own happiness.  A smile is a choice, not a miracle.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy.  True happiness comes from within.

Emotionally separate yourself from your problems. – You are far greater than your problems.  You are a living, breathing human being who is infinitely more complex than all of your individual problems added up together.  And that means you’re more powerful than them – you have the ability to change them, and to change the way you feel about them.

Don’t make a problem bigger than it is. – You should never let one dark cloud cover the entire sky.  The sun is always shining on some part of your life.  Sometimes you just have to forget how you feel, remember what you deserve, and keep pushing forward.

Everything that happens is a life lesson. – Everyone you meet, everything you encounter, etc.  They’re all part of the learning experience we call ‘life.’  Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially when things don’t go your way.  If you don’t get a job that you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means something better is out there waiting.  And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.

View every challenge as an educational assignment. – Ask yourself:  “What is this situation meant to teach me?”  Every situation in our lives has a lesson to teach us.  Some of these lessons include:  To become stronger.  To communicate more clearly.  To trust your instincts.  To express your love.  To forgive.  To know when to let go.  To try something new.

Things change, but the sun always rises the next day. – The bad news: nothing is permanent. The good news: nothing is permanent.

Giving up and moving on are two very different things. – There comes a point when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything, but it’s not giving up, and it’s not the end.  It’s a new beginning.  It’s realizing, finally, that you don’t need certain people and things and the drama they bring.

Distance yourself from negative people. – Every time you subtract negative from your life you make room for more positive.  Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  Let go of negative people, for they are the greatest destroyers of self confidence and self esteem.  Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.

Perfect relationships don’t exist. – There’s no such thing as a perfect, ideal relationship.  It’s how two people deal with the imperfections of a relationship that make it ideal.  Read The Road Less Traveled.

You must love yourself too. – One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters?  When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace, simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there?  When was the last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?

Don’t let others make decisions for you. – Sometimes you just have to live not caring what they think of you, shake off the drama, and prove to YOURSELF that you’re better than they think you are.

Resentment hurts you, not them. – Always forgive people and move on, even if they never ask for your forgiveness.  Don’t do it for them – do it for you.  Grudges are a waste of happiness.  Get that unnecessary stress out of your life right now.

You’re not alone.  Everyone has problems. – To lose sleep worrying about a friend.  To have trouble picking yourself up after someone lets you down.  To feel like less because someone didn’t love you enough to stay.  To be afraid to try something new for fear you’ll fail.  None of this means you’re dysfunctional or crazy.  It just means you’re human, and that you need a little time to right yourself.  You are not alone.  No matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, there are others out there experiencing the same emotions.  When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie.

You still have a lot to be thankful for. – Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of brave people who are overcoming it.  Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next.  Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

Consciously nurture your inner hope. – A loss, a worry, an illness, a dream crushed – no matter how deep your hurt or how high your aspirations, do yourself a favor and pause at least once a day, place your hands over your heart and say aloud, “Hope lives here.”

It’s better to be hurt by the truth, than comforted by a lie. – You must see things how they are instead of how you hoped, wished, or expected them to be.  It’s always better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie.

It’s hard to tell exactly how close you are to success. – Connecting the dots going forward is nearly impossible, but when you look backward it always makes perfect sense.  Success is often closer than it seems, and arrives suddenly, when you least expect it.

Not getting what you want can be a blessing. – Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of good luck, because it forces you reevaluate things, opening new doors to opportunities and information you would have otherwise overlooked.

Laughter is the best medicine for stress. – Laugh at yourself often.  Find the humor in whatever situation you’re in.  Optimism is a happiness magnet.  If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.

Mistakes are important to make. – We’ve all made mistakes.  We’ve let people take advantage of us, and we’ve accepted way less than we deserve.  But if you think about it, we’ve learned a lot from our bad choices, and even though there are some things we can never recover and people who will never be sorry, we now know better for next time.  We now have more power to shape our future.  Remember, failure is not falling down; failure is staying down when you have the choice to get back up.  Get back up!  Oftentimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Worrying is literally a waste of energy. – Worry will not drain tomorrow of its troubles, it will drain you of your strength today.  Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Even when it’s hard to move, take small steps forward. – Especially in trying times, it’s important to continuously push yourself forward.  Because momentum is everything!  As long as you keep the momentum positive – even if you’re moving at a snail’s pace – you’ll eventually get to the finish line.  So celebrate every step you take today, no matter how small.  Because every step will lead you farther away from where you were yesterday and closer to where you want to be tomorrow.  Be it a better life or a dream we long to realize, we reach our destinations by taking many, many small steps in the same direction, one at a time.

There will always be people who dislike you. – You can’t be everything to everyone.  No matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently.  So concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right.  What others think and say about you isn’t all that important.  What is important is how you feel about yourself.

You are better off without some people you thought you needed. – The sad truth is, there are some people who will only be there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with some great friends you can always count on.

You are ONLY competing against yourself. – When you catch yourself comparing yourself to a colleague, neighbor, friend, or someone famous, stop!  Realize that you are different, with different strengths – strengths these other people don’t possess.  Take a moment to reflect on all the awesome abilities you have and to be grateful for all the good things in your life.

You can’t control everything that happens to you. – But you can control how you react to things.  Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects — whether you’re happy or not depends greatly on which aspects you focus on.  For instance:  Did you catch a head cold?  At least it’s only a temporary virus and nothing life-threatening.  Did you lose a basketball game?  Thankfully you got to spend the afternoon with friends doing something fun and healthy.  Did your stock market savings go down?  It’ll bounce back in the long-term.  And besides, it’s great that you’ve been diligent and fortunate enough to save a nest egg of savings when many people are barely making ends meet.  You get the idea.

Life is NOT easy. – If you expect it to be, you will perpetually disappoint yourself.  Achieving anything worthwhile in life takes effort.  So start every morning ready to run farther than you did yesterday and fight harder than you ever have before.  Above all, make sure you properly align your efforts with your goals.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.

Your future is spotless. – Regardless of how filthy your past has been, your future is still spotless.  Don’t start your day with the broken pieces of yesterday.  Don’t look back unless it’s a good view.  Every day is a fresh start.  Each day is a new beginning.  Every morning we wake up is the first day of the rest of our life.  One of the very best ways to get beyond past troubles is to concentrate all of your attention and effort on doing something that your future self will thank you for.

You are not trapped; you just need to re-learn a few things. – We all have doubts that make us feel trapped at times.  If you doubt your ability to make a life-altering decision, to take on a new chapter in your life, or to fend for yourself after years of being overly-fostered, consider this:  Surely if a bird with healthy wings is locked in a cage long enough, she will doubt her own ability to fly.  You still have your wings, but your muscles are weak.  Train them and stretch them slowly.  Give yourself time.  You’ll be flying again soon.

Everything in life is two-sided. – There is good reason why we can’t expect to feel pleasure without ever feeling pain; joy without ever feeling sorrow; confident without ever feeling fear; calm without ever feeling restless; hope without ever feeling despair: There is no such thing as a one-sided coin in life, with which one can buy a pain-free, trouble-free existence.

You always have a choice. – No matter what, there are always at least two options.  If you can’t physically change something, you can change the way you think about it.  You can sit in the dark, or you can find your inner light and discover powerful pieces of yourself you never knew existed.  You can view a crisis as an invitation to learn something new, viewing the shake-up in your outer world as an enlightening opportunity to wake-up your inner world.

Let others in when you’re in a dark place. – No, they won’t always be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.

If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers. – There are no positive answers to, “Why me?” “Why didn’t I?” “What if?” etc.  Would you allow someone else to ask you the demoralizing questions you sometimes ask yourself?  I doubt it.  So stop and swap them for questions that push you in a positive direction.  For instance, “What have I learned from this experience?” “What do I have control over?” “What can I do right now to move forward?”

The end is a new beginning. – Say to yourself: “Dear Past, thank you for all the life lessons you have taught me.  Dear Future, I am ready now!”  Because a great beginning always occurs at the point you thought would be the end of everything.

“40 Lessons for Finding Strength in Hard Times.”

[fukkce]

[sociableoutcast]

Sade is not of this dimension 😍

[missmejoyfully]

This is still my favorite video of all time

[suplx-deactivated20190111]

[jehovahhthickness]

And $50K in my savings account fever

[vijara]

lately i’ve been replacing my “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s, like instead of “sorry i’m late” i’ll say “thanks for waiting for me”, or instead of “sorry for being such a mess” i’ll say “thank you for loving me and caring about me unconditionally” and it’s not only shifted the way i think and feel about myself but also improved my relationships with others who now get to receive my gratitude instead of my negativity

[etereas]

This is some 2017 mood

[shannaravogue-blog]

1937

Platinum blonde comes from , Howard Hughes and Jean Harlow. In 1931, with what might just be the most successful public relations strategy ever, Hughes released a film called Platinum Blonde, titled to promote and capitalise on the hair colour of the young star, Jean Harlow. Many fans quickly followed suit, dyeing their hair to match Harlow’s. Hughes’s team even organized a chain of “Platinum Blonde” clubs across the country with a $10,000 prize that would go to any hairdresser who could Harlow’s shade.

[cavalli-sugar]

Sometimes I want to keep you ladies updated but I KNOW that they’re people on this who views my blog just to talk shit (I get tons of rude messages) so it’s best to remain private!

[peachy-fuckin-keen]

You just get me Joanne….

[nphofrph]

Kk, so, I normally try my very best to avoid posting celebrity gossip on my blog because… well, it’s celebrity gossip. But today I came across an article that featured Jennifer Lawrence’s apology for her latest PR disaster, and I realized that it presented an interesting lesson in rhetoric, and I just couldn’t help myself. Because I have never seen a better example of how not to apologize. I mean, as a writer, and having a particular interest in media and communications, I just couldn’t not analyze this sucker.

The apology:

I meant absolutely no disrespect to the Hawaiian people. I really thought that I was being self-deprecating about the fact that I was “the curse”, but I understand the way it was perceived was not funny and I apologise if I offended anyone. (source)

I want to take a moment and explain why this is rhetorically the worst apology I have ever seen, and explain why Lawrence should probably fire whoever on her team is responsible for preventing her from social media snafus.

The apology did not at any point mention what she was apologizing for. Go ahead and read it again. If you didn’t already know the context of this apology, would you have any idea what she was talking about? She doesn’t mention disturbing the sacred rock, frightening crew members, damaging equipment, mocking the local people, or jokingly sharing the story for laughs. 

The apology confuses intent with impact. In this context, the fact that she had intended to come across as self-deprecating is set up as if it excuses the fact that this was not actually how she came across. In reality, her intention does not erase the fact that what she did or said was offensive. This is precisely the same logic that makes people dismiss sexual harassment because the harasser “meant it as a compliment.”

The apology blames the people who were offended, not the offensive act. This comes about when it states “the way it was perceived was not funny”. Here, the rhetoric implies that her story was not offensive; people simply were perceiving it as offensive. It implies that the morality here is up for interpretation.

The apology is conditional. Any instance of the word ‘if’ in an apology should be a huge red flag. Because of this wording, she is apologizing only under the condition that people took personal offense. The implication: had there been no backlash, she would not have apologized.

She apologizes for offending people, not for doing something offensive. Yep, the only time in that little spiel that she even mentions apologizing is under the condition that people were offended. She does not apologize for the words or actions; she only mentions apologizing for people’s reactions.

She fails to address why what she did was offensive. All this apology mentions is that what she said was not funny. It doesn’t seem to think it important that the reason it wasn’t funny was that it actively harmed and disrespected people.

No mention is given to any intention of changing. The apology does not express any intent of being more careful of sets in the future, or of being more respectful of other cultures, leaving the apology notably empty. And, last but not least, the biggest problem of all:

She doesn’t apologize. Saying “I apologize” without expressing remorse is not an apology. It’s the equivalent of saying “I am happy” while wearing a stiff frown. At no point does she say that she is sorry for what she did, or that she was wrong, or that she regrets her actions. No acknowledgment whatsoever is giving to her wrongdoings or to any contrition it may have caused.

I just - I am simply in awe of the fact that someone as high-profile as Jennifer Lawrence could manage to issue such a terrible ‘apology’ to the public. Frankly, it boggles the mind. These two sentences were just such a read.

PS: This is the only time I am going to address celeb gossip on my blog, and it was only due to its fascinating rhetoric. Any follow-up messages sent to me about this whole issue will be deleted.

[spicysugarnyc]

Sugar thoughts

Honestly when i read half the posts on here , I just think shut the fuck up already. This whole sugar community is getting really weird . For starters half of you aren’t even sugar babies , you guys are prostitutes/escorts calling yourselves sugar babies because you’re probably embarrassed or whatever the reason is for doing it. I could care less, but don’t come on here tainting prospective sugar babies into thinking you have to have 5 different sugar babies and fuck 5 different men to get some money for a bag etc. If you’re a real sugar baby , your charming natural personality should attract these men, not alter egos made up for when you’re with them. Save that shit for the bedroom. That’s why so many of you have multiple personality disorders amongst other emotional problems that you post saying you have, because you are pretending to be two people . If I am with my sugar daddy , I am HAPPY to be with him because I get to be myself while he is supporting me and we are having mutual fun.. I’ve seen girls in my vanilla job come in with their sugar daddies , have them buy them expensive items just because and have an attitude as if they don’t want to be there with them. And then you wonder why these men have their guards up(not in all cases because some of these men are so manipulative and disgusting). And people probably reading this are thinking who the fuck is this. Guess what, bitches come and go in this tag and I’m one of them. Never will you catch me posting anything I did with a sugar daddy because these hoes are so manipulative and sneaky I have every reason not to. Stop calling sugaring sex work because it isn’t . You’re a young escort who fucks older men. Stop giving false information and tainting young girls views , because this very site is where they get their information from in the first place. Ugh

[weeniehutjuniorsenior]

Honey you became a fellow whore the moment you gave daddy your sugar in exchange for money and gifts. Most escorts on here probably make a lot more than your one-sugar-daddy-having ass. The fact that you even need a vanilla job in the first place is a clue especially since it sounds like you work a retail gig. Don’t hate on other girls for making their money they way they like. You sound like a stuck up bitch for judging sex workers and you sound like a naive fool for not realizing you ARE one. Trust me, the vanilla world views you as a dirty whore too so don’t try to distance yourself from this reality and act like you are above sex work.

[weeniehutjuniorsenior]

Also mocking mental illness? What a class act sugar baby you are.

[blackwoolncrown]

I swear some chicks don’t understand that lying to men is part of the fucking job. You don’t really love him? No shit. You’re selling a fantasy. He wants to buy the lie. Sell it. Get paid. Collect that check, the end.

[pastel-lipz]

I wonder who’s arms would I run and fall into if I were drunk in a room with everyone I have ever loved

I saw a comment underneath this once, reading “furthermore, i wonder who would still catch me” (via meggordon) Wow (via pehnumbra)

reblog every time because it fucks me up every time 

(via hausofvogue)

[diamond-heiress-deactivated2018]

[5ather-deactivated20191025]

Today my mom told me.. “a person who values you, wouldn’t ever put themselves in a position to lose you.” and that really hit deep.

[jervae]

That part. 😑

[chicagoxnative]

[ms9e4]

niggas 🙄

[neworleans-unknown]

Betta pick that face up and gtf on

[jettestblack-deactivated2017080]

Y'all use the term “mental illness” so loosely as it pertains to piss poor behavior individuals display.