6-16-2022
I still think about the trauma he caused me. How crazy I felt. Unstable. Unsure. Insecure of who I was. If I was worth anything. I hate when I am reminded of that. Feeling like I will never be something to someone. No matter how many times they say they love me or try to reassure me. I will always find ways to remind myself that I am not good enough. I will never be enough for someone. They will always want someone other than me and I don’t blame people any more. I just don’t see the point in loving me. Being with me. I cannot take even wanting to be alive. I want to be gone from the world. Crawl into an abyss and never have to worry about any of this again. I don’t want to keep having the same thoughts and to feel like this. Leave me be. I just want to be alone.
