Actual trash

INTP, feminist, major trash, I try to be funny sometimes, formerly funky-waffles-yo

[endangered-justice-seeker]

[succ-my-pandas-dick]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[846782364278]

[twilightown]

CAUSE EVERY TIME WE TOUCH I GET THIS FEELING

EVERY TIME WE KISS I SWEAR I COULD FLY

CAN’T U FEEL MY HEART BEAT FAST, I WANT THIS TO LAST

NEED YOU BY MY SIDE

[the-husbando]

This is the closest gif that can really capture the utter chaotic energy that is released when people hear this song

[softjeon]

a king coming thru

[jeoncooky]

SJ: Thanks for tuning i….. JM: HEY!!!!!!!1111111111111111 >:((((((((((((((

Bonus:

[cakejam]

this lemur didn’t seem pleased that i was taking photos of him

[actionables]

so done

with you and your rude shit

[fuckyahumor]

me 2 the outside world: yeah i don't really care for personality quizzes

me in the corner of my room @ 2am while eating spinach out of a plastic bag: as a chaotic good, sanguine, gemini, enfp who was born in the year of the horse, what should I have for breakfast tomorrow and also who is my soul mate

[catsbeaversandducks]

“Bran our Ravens idea of having fun this morning, he holds on just enough to keep hold without hurting me.”

Video/caption by Lloyd & Rose Buck Bird Specialists & Handlers

[madalleycatreblog]

That is adorable!

[bunjywunjy]

too small, throw it back

[hope-crest]

me: wow things are actually going really well for once!

the crippling anxiety, waiting in the corner:

[glumshoe]

This kid hopped right into my shoe and proceeded to angrily sing to me when I picked it up.

I have never met such a talkative toad! Usually they just pee on me.

[neurodivergent-crow]

When a male toad is held a certain way they chirp. Why? Because it’s hard for toads to determine the sex of other toads. So if a male is mounted by another male, he chirps to alert him to the fact that babies will not be resulting from this, Uh. Encounter.

Basically that toad is telling you “listen I’m not gonna jump to get away but you should know I contain zero (0) eggs”

[glumshoe]

“I’m down to pound but jsyk it’s gay”

[buzzingroyalty]

[great-tweets]

IT’S NAME IS FLOP

[jackhawksmoor]

that’s it, folks, we’ve reached peak cute

[doobler2]

MY FUCKING HEART

[opossummypossum]

MOOOOOM

[babyanimalgifs]

this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to

[beebossinner-deactivated2023102]

let my poor baby take his bath

[melissa-anne-rose-deactivated20]

If y'all really knew. If y'all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.

This is my life.

[tinyelfperson]

Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.

[fractiousrvt]

I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.

Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?

“We took his running harness off.”

And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.

[grison-in-labs]

I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.

She is dumb as soup.

(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)

Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:

I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down

That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will

I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down

I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time

I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t

I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store

I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated

I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed

You are not petting me enough

You are not petting me at all

I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while

There’s a brush and I need it

You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me

She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.

[violent-darts]

To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous. 

I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason. 

Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it. 

“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD 

[cryoverkiltmilk]

I was feeling very lonely this evening and now I’m laughing down to my belly so thank you for this post

[rlckrolled-blog]

Panic! In front of the cute boy

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

i always know when a fic writer has never experienced a hickey

[officiallycostco-deactivated201]

How? It’s not like you’ve experienced one either.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“[Character A] licked and nibbled [Character B]’s collarbone, leaving dark purple spots along the way.”

either they’re tossing away the meaning of “nibbled” for the advancement of smut or they have a solid misunderstanding of hickeys. it takes like four or five straight seconds of hard suction to make a spot “dark purple”.

[minementis]

okay so two options here:

“[Character A] licked and nibbled [Character B]’s collarbone, leaving faint pink spots along the way.”

OR (and this one is better imo)

“[character A] sucked on the skin of [character B]’s collarbone harder than a vacuum on high power, leaving behind appropriately dark purple hickeys”

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

“[Character A] puckered their lips and absolutely Hoover™’d the life out of [Character B]’s entire neck. ‘You DirtDevil™’ [Character B] said with a breathy sigh.”