Thin Disguise

As salaamu 'alaykum.

[anxietyproblem]

[thindisguises]

There are many things that I miss and it's a huge sense of loss that fills up in me. It's almost like like I'm grieving for those moments to come back.

[saying]

powerful words from a powerful woman

[tamsoj]

Charles Bukowski, "burning in water, drowning in flame," from Storm for the Living and the Dead

[flowerytale]

Mary Oliver, from “We Should Be Well Prepared”, Red Bird

[remanence-of-love]

[lunamiszkaa]

Conversations With Friends - Sally Rooney

[thindisguises]

My first visit to Makkah back in 2019 was smth I didn't expect. It was so surreal. We were on the bus heading to our hotel located near Masjidil Haram. I've only gotten a glimpse of the bright lights shining from the Masjid and it sent goosebumps all over my body. Tears just started to flow and it didn't stop until I've reached the hotel. I was so overwhelmed with whatever I was feeling at that time. And it just kept happening again and again whenever I saw the Ka'abah. I felt a sense of relief followed by a huge heartache of how much of a muslim I've been. I just felt like the time we spent there was insufficient and I long to be there again. However, I do know that it'll be a much different experience from now on.

[perfectfeelings]

“You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.”

— Kid Cudi

[findsabr]

“And do not be like those who forgot Allah, so He made them forget themselves.”

{59:19}

[thindisguises]

Eversince having a baby, I lost the ability to hold a proper conversation with anyone. I'm constantly distracted and will slowly lose interest and peel away from any conservation. Be it with my own self or others. Whenever my toddler comes in, I'd just give all my attention to her. Not to mention, even when she's not in the same room, all the planning and things related to family or her, will be at the back of my head. I think that's what made me lose so much of myself and ppl around me.

[heartbeatsallah]

الموت ليس اعظم مصيبة،

‏death is not the greatest calamity

‏اعظم مصيبة هي ان يموت فينا الخوف من الله ونحن احياء

‏the greatest calamity is that the fear of Allah dies within us while we’re alive

[allthingseurope]

Santa Maddalena, Italy 

[deathgasmic]

“are you okay” no bro i constantly feel like i am too much but simultaneously not enough

[thindisguises]

Yknow that feeling when you've lost a good friend and it just leaves this huge metaphoric hole and weight in your chest? It feels so much like you're hurt, angry disappointed and really sad all at the same time.

It becomes something you drag around after a while like an extra baggage and you eventually get weighed down by it. So you just do nothing all day and just laze around and don't respond to texts until you muster up just enough strength to lug it around again.

[thindisguises]

Reminiscing Switzerland. It's been a month since we're back but I still wake up hoping that I'm still there.

[floozys-deactivated20180908]

there’s a lot of unspoken pressure to keep liking the things you used to like and to keep dressing the way you’ve always dressed and to never question what you believe in and basically “be yourself” has slowly morphed into “be what everyone knows you as” but trust me when i say if you just give it up and simply make decisions and take actions based purely on what would make you happy, you’ll gain a very comforting sense of self peace