Thing 2 at Your Service

I'm the Ravenclaw one. Hi.

[ly-scamander]

McGonagall seems to be a lot busier than I remember.

So do the house elves.

[thingnumber-two]

Did you get yelled at for trying to bug them again?

[ly-scamander]

Back at that Hogwarts flow.

[ly-scamander]

I can’t hear you, bro. Not over my freakin’ swag.

I’m kidding. It’s nice to see this side of you. It fits the face. Oh, you know, onto the next one. Can’t stay with a dame for too long or then she expects too much out of you. 

[thingnumber-two]

Swag? Please stop travelling overseas. Please.  Of course, how could I forget. I trust there were other interesting things in Argentina besides the women, which by the way I demand to see pictures of?

[ly-scamander]

Back at that Hogwarts flow.

[ly-scamander]

Less handsome? Looks like the little bro’s grown some cahones since I last saw him. That’s Spanish for balls. Learned that from a cute Argentina girl I met back at the sanctuary. She was a hot tamole.

Ha, you really missed me that much, lil’ bro? That’s charming. Now that I’m back at it, maybe people will judge less.

[thingnumber-two]

'Scuse me, I always had cahones, you just never shut up long enough for me to show them off. Oh yeah, and what exactly happened to this Argentina girl?

[thingnumber-two]

getting overly excited to be able to put a link behind the "thing 1" tag on lorc's page nbd

[ly-scamander]

Back at that Hogwarts flow.

[ly-scamander]

I can’t even fucking tell what you’re saying. You need to stop that mumbling problem. Also, attack!

[thingnumber-two]

Oof-yeah, yeah I missed your less handsome face too. It felt a little funny saying marco and then having people around me just judge me instead of anyone replying.

[ly-scamander]

Back at that Hogwarts flow.

[ly-scamander]

What can I say? McGonagall can never resist this piece of ass.

Fucking hug me brotha!

[thingnumber-two]

There are so many gross images in my head right now but by the way you're hyping up this hug I'm going it's gonna make those images go far, far away.

[ly-scamander]

Back at that Hogwarts flow.

I can dig it.

[thingnumber-two]

About half way into the semester? Good going, bro?

[just-winnie]

I see. Maybe I should write all this stuff down. Oh, I know! You should tell me your favourite colour so that we can use it as a code word or something- like, whenever I see you or your brother I’ll say it and see which one of you reacts to it by saying my favourite colour.

You’re very kind. Thank you for saying that, it just made my day.

[thingnumber-two]

Blue. But not just any blue like a cerulean blue. I love it. Glad we've got an identifying method now. I'd give you one too but, well you're just one person so no problem there.

No problem, glad I could be of assistance.

[just-winnie]

It must be very interesting to have him as a twin. At least you’ll always be on your toes then. Now I’m scared I might mistake him for you- there must be something different about you that can help me tell you two apart.

Maybe. I’ve been told I scare people away because I’m too touchy feely right off the bat, so I’ve been trying to lay off a bit.

[thingnumber-two]

It is indeed. Yeah, we usually keep our hair different, uh we do act different if you can pick that up although if you run into him and call him Lorcan he might try to mess with you. If it makes you feel any better, if it is me that you run into I'll let you know immediately.

Aw, well don't worry about it, I think it's nice that you are the way you are. And if people tell you any different you don't need to be around them anyway. 

[just-winnie]

No, never heard of him before. Should I have? I’m sorry. I’m usually very good with names but lately I’ve been off my game.

[thingnumber-two]

Maybe. I dunno, he's pretty popular around here for throwing parties and being social. It's fun being his twin cause people can't tell us apart most times and it lets me take over his life for chunks at a time. It's more amusing and less psychotic than it sounds, I promise.

Something in particular that's got you off your game?

[just-winnie]

Lorcan’s a very nice name. You have a twin? That’s amazing! I’m going to hug you now.

[thingnumber-two]

Oh-oof. Thanks, I'd never say no to a hug so it's fine. I do have a twin, Lysander Scamander? I'm going to be very alarmed if you tell me you haven't heard of him-and a little relieved to be honest.

[thingnumber-two]

in other news the boys wing on my floor is nearly a crisp. almost instagramed the firefighters. almost.

[just-winnie]

I would love your help! You’re very kind. I’m Winnie by the way, and you’re awfully familiar.

[thingnumber-two]

Sweet. Winnie, it's good to meet you, I'm Lorcan. You probably know Lysander, he's my twin brother, although I'm older, don't let him tell you any different.

[thingnumber-two]

sometimes i see pictures of colin farrel with gray hair and im just like no stop the term "old man" is just an expression stop aging pls

[just-winnie]

You think I really could?

[thingnumber-two]

Absolutely! I could even help you if you want. That is assuming you don't mind getting a few tears in the dress. After all I don't think zombies think too much about keeping their outfits in tact when they go out to do their thing.

[just-winnie]

Oh, that would be cool! I don’t think I could pull of being a zombie though.

[thingnumber-two]

I think you can. Come on, there's dirt, tree bark and your dress already has that feel around the edges. Go for it, it's pretty damn original.

[pandora-eisling]

You know, “sexy indian chief”, “seventies person with an afro”, “mexican”, the works. 

[thingnumber-two]

...I'm just seeing a lot of sexy nurses and witches and witch nurses. I don't think half the people here have the intelligence to be purposefully racist so I guess you can take comfort in that and attend to make fun of them or be the one person that isn't dumb in the crowd.