Things I Say To Dogs

I'm a dog walker. Sometimes I talk to the dogs I walk. Sometimes they talk back.

[thingsisaytodogs]

The heron heard me yelling about poo and flew away!

[thingsisaytodogs]

Dog dating game

Dog: HAI. MY NAME IS DOG. I LIKE LONG WALKS, LONGER WALKS... OH YEAH- AND POO.

[thingsisaytodogs]

Doge Walker

Such cleavage. Much sunburn. Ow.

[thingsisaytodogs]

The best laid plans of dogs and rodents...

Dog: HOW MUCH WOOD COULD A FAMILY OF WOODCHUCKS CHUCK IF I ATE THEM ALL? (Lunges towards woodchucks)

Me: (arm being torn from socket) AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

[thingsisaytodogs]

...Tuppence A Bag

Dog (Singing): EEEEEEEEAT THE BIRDS, TUPPENCE A BAG

Me: I don't think that's how it goes

[thingsisaytodogs]

"Let me tell you what we've been doin' / Two bad puppies on the road to poopin'"

[thingsisaytodogs]

You're just like an adorable, furry cannoli, except instead of being full of delicious delicious ricotta, you're full of poo.

[thingsisaytodogs]

Me: You can't be inside and outside at the same time!

Dog: WHY NOT

[thingsisaytodogs]

Yep, that's a camper. It's terrifying, I know! Thank goodness we have you to bark at it.

[thingsisaytodogs]

"Thank you for not eating poo! / It's worse than anything else you do / You can roll in dirt / You can bark at the other dogs / And if you threw a party / Invited everyone you knew / You would see / Most of the people would be dogs / And this song I'll sing to you / Thank you for not eating poo!

[thingsisaytodogs]

Guess Who's Coming To...

Dog (Removing head from hollow log, big smile on it's face): Hey, I found a new friend! I'm going to name it 'Dinner!'

[thingsisaytodogs]

The dog walker is not a tasty snack!

[thingsisaytodogs]

My dogs, when I want to go for a walk in the woods and they don't.

[thingsisaytodogs]

...I'm sure we'll have a nice, long summer of me picking bird parts out of your mouth.

[thingsisaytodogs]

The face my dogs make when i take them outside and they realize it's raining.

[thingsisaytodogs]

"Golden retrievers / That's what you are / In case you don't know"

[thingsisaytodogs]

BUD He is the sweetest boy. We think he is a Catahoula mix, approximately 9 years old. But don't tell him because he thinks he is around 5 years old and...