my secret ed journal

19 // 5'9 // not promoting eating disorders //

[thinisperfection2-blog]

oh my god

i have never in my life have looked as bad as I look right now. I am literally so fat and so mad with myself. I have just completely let myself go and thats seriously so disgusting! I have absolutely no jaw line (such a big double chin), a fucking whale of a stomach, and back fat for days. no wonder people think I am ugly, because I am. I am no kidding fasting until I am to 150 lbs. I do not care how long it takes but its happening. I am also gonna force myself to go to the gym for two hours every day. I am gonna finally lose this weight and stop being a fat whale. I want to have a jaw line and a flat stomach and skinny legs and for this time is gonna fucking happen because I never want to look at myself in the mirror like I just did. this is it. this is me fasting until i am skinny.

[buttonpoetry]

“If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with, you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story.”

— Blythe Baird, from If My Body Could Speak

[thinisperfection2-blog]

2019

this year is actually going to be my year. I am going to hit my ugw. I will love the way I look and feel. I am not just trying to get skinny, I am turning my whole life around. 

[thinisperfection2-blog]

It is not a coincidence that when I do not eat my life is amazing and when I do eat my life sucks.

[thinisperfection2-blog]

I am making 2018 my year. In 2018 I will hit my ugw. In 2018 I will be skinny. In 2018 I will be happy with my body for the first time. That is my promise.

[thinisperfection2-blog]

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

[thinisperfection2-blog]

Really tired of being the fat friend and sister.

[thinisperfection2-blog]

yes, please