Edelweiss

My safe place

[thinkingpotatoes]

Mungkin caraku menyayangimu adalah dengan menjauhkanmu dari jahatnya sifatku

[thinkingpotatoes]

All my life i stand up on my own feet, build my way brick by brick only for you to barge in and destroy my barrier. I don't mind having you around me, help you build your own palace. But you bring people beside you and demand me to be your fucking slave, carrying your bricks as you stood up and wait for me from above. I can't stand it anymore because i can't help to blame myself everytime your walls fall

[thinkingpotatoes]

Can i sleep a little longer?

[thinkingpotatoes]

Maybe im not meant for this world

[thinkingpotatoes]

Kalau aku cerita semua, siapa yang akan paham?

[thinkingpotatoes]

I am dirty

[thinkingpotatoes]

I've felt empty for these few past days, is it because i knew for a fact that i wasn't love for who i am? Was i only with him for another purpose?

[thinkingpotatoes]

Ternyata tidur membuatku lebih merasa tenang, haruskah aku meminum 3 antimo hari ini?

- D

[thinkingpotatoes]

Kebiasaan kecilku untuk menulis hari-hari buruk di catatan kecil digital ini hanya satu-satunya cara aku meluapkan apa yang aku rasa, aku tidak bisa bergantung dengan manusia ketika mereka memiliki masalah yang lebih parah dariku. Aku ini hanyalah manusia berisik yang tidak bersyukur, tapi salahkah ketika aku meminta kedamaian?

- D

[thinkingpotatoes]

Tempat paling nyaman bagiku untuk berbagi kisah, tanpa orang tahu siapa aku. Orang tidak menilai seakan mereka mengenalku, aku bukan siapa-siapa. Rumah yang seharusnya menjadi tempat perlindungan, dijaga sepenuh hati yang menjadi saksi bisu apa yang terjadi di dalamnya sekarang hanyalah tempat kosong tanpa arti dan hanya bacotan belaka. Rumah bukan lagi tempat aman untukku pulang, aku hanya ingin ketenangan.

- D

[thinkingpotatoes]

I just want to feel loved,

Why does it felt so right yet so wrong? At this point im just searching reasons to keep on loving him.

Or is this what it's called to be in denial?

[thinkingpotatoes]

I don't even know me anymore

[thinkingpotatoes]

I don't deserve someone to love me

[thinkingpotatoes]

If my closest person cannot be trusted, then who should i trust?

[thinkingpotatoes]

Im not as pure as people see me as

[thinkingpotatoes]

Kepalaku berisik

[thinkingpotatoes]

If i'm not here anymore

If i'm not here anymore, i hope my parents understand that they are a great parents. I hope they know that i love them very much, i may not be the best daughter they can have, i dissapoint them much, but i won't stop trying to become the best.

If i'm not here anymore, i hope my boyfriend knows that i'm always proud of him, never in my life i have thoughts about leaving him, even if he told me his darkest past, i will never stop loving him the same.

If i'm not here anymore, i hope my friends forgive my mistakes in the past. I know i've made a lot of mistakes that they can't forgive, but i wish that they know i never want to start a fight with anyone. I wish everybody can be together in peace.

If i'm not here anymore,