hi 🦋

5’5 | cw: 106lbs | gw: 99lbs active: mar 2026 rahhh polska!! 🇵🇱

[thinlyq]

wreszcie jestem 106 i prawie 105 (już marzyłam o tym dniu przez 4 lata) ale prawie nie myślę o tym co jem i waga już nie zależy do mnie . . . co się stało?

[thinlyq]

When I'm Pretty

Please bury me when I’m pretty,

A thin corpse worn down to the bone,

Whisper honey into my ears,

Even when you know I can’t have sweets,

Encase my body with your lies,

Please bury me when I’m pretty,

You know I worship the figure in my mirror,

And I decorated the scale like a shrine,

Please promise me a paradise,

So that I keep pushing, keep going,

Until you tell me I’m as light as air,

Pull me into your wretched world,

Call me special as you bury your other victims,

Take away my far-fetched dream,

Replace it with a sea of numbers,

Give me the illusion of control,

Gild my misery with glamor,

I’ll put down my fork and skip dessert,

So that you watch me wither away in agony,

Shivering under the blankets at night,

Please bury me when I’m pretty,

When I’m breathless, hollow inside,

If only I knew the mirror is unkind.

[thinlyq]

maggots and flies can’t be trusted

walls are all blurry and blend into one

he’s cold and his hands are numb

he thought he was the only one here

but there are maggots on the floor

vomit pools around her, getting in her hair

the smell of guilt suffocates the air

she thought she was the only one here

but there are flies on the wall

he follows the maggots

he doesn’t know they’re all full of lies

it’s a matter of trust

and in his state of self-hatred, trust is all he has

she cries as she sings into the toilet bowl

she can’t seem to stop

it’s a matter of trust

she trusts herself not to give it away

he knows he is getting close

she knows she is nowhere near

he knows the maggots will come closer

it’s a question of time

she knows the flies will come closer

she can’t control her mind

he feels the maggots crawling on his skin

the feelings nice though, it feels as if he’s slowly getting thin

she sees the flies swarming around her head

it’s gross but she can’t stop what she’s doing, the food in her stomach feels like lead

he is weak down to the bone

the maggots have found their home

he screams

but she can’t hear him

no one can

she is on her knees, lost in her own disgrace

the flies love the smell of regret on her face

she screams

but he can’t hear her

no one can

he’s weakened by the empty feeling that feasts on him

she rips off her skin to free herself from the guilt

he realises that the maggots betrayed his trust

she realises that her flies betrayed her trust

their trust only drew them closer to this

for their stupid trust led to their destruction

[irfavadeline]

Bez pierdolenia, wracam tutaj.

[thatdisorderedcunt]

This is how I'm currently hiding.

[thenyxedhound]

New maximalist wallpaper of affirmations that I made just now dropped!

I love how busy it is, all the love and positivity of it just warms my aching soul. Also I didnt crop the base photo right so it fits my screen less than usual rip, but that's ok.

[thinlyq]

Diagnosis

By Cynthia Cruz

January 24, 2010

Awkward, and almost always the idiot

Savant, mutant, retard, I

Travel my own effervescent weather,

In my underwater

Vessel, my sweet

Mars, and soundless

Daydream, magical sweep of Rimbaudian

Reverie. Always

Clumsy, and guileless, mind-

Blind, and deathly shy,

Winning every spelling bee,

Every math contest,

Done before the rest, finishing

First in science test.

Hiding the quarterly honor-roll awards

I won beneath the bed.

The shame of being

Seen consumes me.

And I fight it back,

A landowner warding off

Leagues of feral thieves,

With fire, handheld torch, burning back

The onslaught. In grade school,

Listening to the same Blondie song in my bedroom, over

And over for hours, days,

For years. No friends

But the one: silent, and sitting

In my head. Running laps around

The house for five, ten, fifteen

Miles, counting

Calories of everything put

Into my mouth—desperate to ward the onslaught

Off. Until I am nothing

But a body.

Burn the body down

And, with it, out goes the pilot

Blue light of the mind.

Everyone said

I was pretty back then.

Maybe, way back then,

Before I began.

[thinlyq]

pinterest deleted my ED board like a couple months ago and i’m still mad about it.

[thinlyq]

When the Fat Girl Gets Skinny

the year of skinny pop and sugar free jello cups

we guzzled vitamin water and vodka

toasting to high school and survival complimenting each others collarbones

trying diets we found on the internet:

menthol cigarettes eating in front of a mirror

donating blood.

replacing meals with other practical hobbies like making flower crowns

or fainting

wondering why I haven't had my period in months why breakfast tastes like giving up

or how many more productive ways I could have spent my time today

besides googling the calories in the glue of a US envelope

watching America's Next Top Model like the gospel

hunching naked over a bathroom scale shrine crying into an empty bowl of cocoa puffs

because I only feel pretty when I'm hungry

If you are not recovering, you are dying.

By the time I was sixteen, I had already experienced being clinically overweight, underweight,

and obese.

As a child, Fat was the first word people used to describe me,

which didn’t offend me until I found out it was supposed to.

When I lost weight, my dad was so proud he started carrying my before-and-after photo

in his wallet.

so relieved he could stop worrying about me getting diabetes.

he saw a program on the news about the epidemic with obesity

says he is just so glad to finally see me taking care of myself.

If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with,

you go to the hospital.

If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with,

you are a success story.

So when I evaporated, of course everyone congratulated me on getting healthy.

Girls at school who never spoke to me before stopped me in the hallway to ask how I did it.

I say, I am sick.

They say No, you’re an inspiration.

How could I not fall in love with my illness?

With becoming the kind of silhouette people are supposed to fall in love with?

Why would I ever want to stop being hungry

when anorexia was the most interesting thing about me?

So how lucky it is, now, to be boring The way not going to the hospital is boring.

The way looking at an apple and seeing only an apple,

not sixty or half an hour of sit-ups is boring.

My story may not be as exciting as it used to,

but at least there is nothing left to count.

The calculator in my head finally stopped.

I used to love the feeling of drinking water on an empty stomach

waiting for the coolness to slip all the way down and land in the well,

not obsessed with being empty but afraid of being full.

I used to take pride in being able to feel cold in a warm room.

Now, I am proud I have stopped seeking revenge on this body.

This was the year of eating when I was hungry without punishing myself

and I know it sounds ridiculous, but that shit is hard.

When I was little, someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up,

and I said "small."

Blythe Baird

[bwbaf]

It do be like that

[caffeinatedloser-deactivated202]

I suck at this disorder

[thinlyq]

ED Song Lyrics ♫

I want the fat in my arms to melt off my bones And my stomach to fall out

Aesthetic? (More Like Ass-Pathetic)

She dances in the rain with her clothes on Drenched to the bone

Honey and Glass

I'm the girl within the ghost fading away where Nothing tastes better than thin feels

Girl Within the Ghost

Your jeans fit bigger, you're feeling thinner and Smiling way less than before

Compliment

You've taken the diet too far you've got to let it slip But she's not eating again, she's not eating again

The Sea Is a Good Place to Think of the Future

Tell me that I look so fine, look so pretty; one more Hour before I can eat

Losing Bones

I admit I'm addicted but the hunger feels good How do I quit this? I know I could die

Empty

Ribcage like scaffolding from a building site (Traces of yesterday run down your face)

Dying to Be Thin

Beauty makes boys happy; I've been starving Myself, carving skin until my bones are showing

Prom Queen

You said that they say you're disgusting; that they Told you, you were fat and unworthy

Ugly

Makes a girl a smaller size; hungry to bed, hungry To rise; falling for my anorexic lies

Sugar & Ice

I feel like a failure if I don't skip breakfast and Lunch I'm chasing a body I'll never outrun

Smaller Than This

At seventeen, I started to starve myself I thought That love was a kind of emptiness

Hunger

You'll stop when you're happy; but your goal Weight is always changing

Starving for Perfection

[birdmick711]

I love this meme

(all made by me)

[bunniib0nes]

Me going crazy in my room scrolling thru thińspo

[tinyaim-blog]

MEGA list of ED Mantras/sayings to stay motivated . Feel free to add

"If you eat that, what will the scale say? Higher or lower? Now, do you want it?"

Every time you say Yes to food, you say Yes to fat

Don't eat unless you absolutely have to

Hunger pangs mean you're doing it right, keep going

I don't need food, food doesn't rule me

Food is the enemy, don't let it tempt you

If you take one bite, you won't stop. Don't do it

Feeling empty is feeling pure, feeling powerful

I am in control. I choose not to eat.

Saying no makes me powerful

If I workout my mood will improve

Tempted to eat. Get your ass outside for a walk.

If you don't trust yourself, ruin the food with salt or pour water all over it. DO NOT EAT.

Just say no. It's that simple.

Every time you say no to food, you day yes to skinny.

Chug water, drink tea, get up, and dance. The urges will pass.

No more excuses. Do you want it or do you need it?

Self control is a choice that strengthens the more I practice it.

Everytime you push through a cravings, it gets easier next time

No one can make me eat. I control what goes in my body

Food does not control me, rule me, or tempt me. I choose to have the willpower to crush my cravings.

I will not eat. I refuse to. I will become weightless

Do it for the floating euphoria

You feel better when you're hungry,

The pleasure of food only lasts for a few seconds, self-hate and regret stays forever.

Hunger hurts but starving works

Feet together, hips apart, collarbone are where we start...(repeat)

Do you want to wake up happy with yourself tomorrow or disappointed/disgusted?

You gain what you lose

Nothing is faster than fasting

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels

Eat like a model, look like a model

You are what you eat, so don't be easy, cheap, or fake

[thinlyq]

New Low Cal Food List

🧸 Rice Cakes: 50kcal for 1

☕️ Apple Sauce: 45kcal for 1

🧸 Carb Balance Tortilla: 70kcal for 1

☕️ Ka-Me Rice Crackers: 55kcal for 8

🧸 Simply Smartfood Popcorn: 50kcal for 1 cup

☕️ Breakstone Cottage Cheese: 100kcal for 1 cup

🧸 Light + Fit Greek Yogurt: 80kcal for 1

☕️ Pepperidge Light Wheat Bread: 45kcal for 1

🧸 That’s It Fruit Bar: 100kcal for 1

☕️ Good and Gather Fruit Strips: 40kcal for 1

🧸 Welch's Fruit Snacks: 70kcal for 1

☕️ Sun-Maid California Raisins: 45kcal for 1

🧸 Mott's Fruit Snacks: 80kcal for 1

☕️ Wise Butter Popcorn: 80kcal for 1

Bonus, Deserts:

🍊 Sugar Free Outshine Pop: 45kcal for 1

🪻 Yasso Mint Choc Chip Bar: 100kcal for 1

🍊 Popsicle Ice Pops: 15kcal for 1

🪻 Yasso Cookies n’ Cream Bar: 90kcal for 1

🍊 Sugar Free Jell-O Pudding: 60kcal for 1

🪻 Fruit Roll-Ups: 50kcal for 1 roll

[flordiakilos7]

remember to always go to bed hungry.

especially after a week, you’ll notice the difference.

[ash99989796]

So true. I stopped eating after dinner no matter how late I stay up.