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Begets Regrets

Almost 2 years of unproductively, its dry and barren

Yet more questions left unanswered, a heavy burden

Time hasn’t stopped but life’s at a dead end

You turn around, nothing is in sight, just light

No, not bright but everything’s blank...

Like a piece of paper for a writer who’s in a slump

I took a pen and started writing but it ended up in a bin

Was it all worth the risk or I ended up making a mistake?

Smiling, taking a peek at that star Craving, dreaming of a place that far New and exciting adventures, I spaced out Will I gear up for what I'm about? Mind is racing, Heart beats at a rapid Doubt and fears, Will still clouded Courage and confidence are what I need Please hear, my Lord, my heed

I am neither at a crossroad nor at a detour... I am at a dead end. Worse, from where I stand, I can clearly see the limitation yet I continued to walk on. Moving forward could be bravery but sometimes also cowardice.

Fame in my Daydreams

As I was slipping away from reality again, I came to realize what I want in life. My life on my imaginary worlds had been someone who inspires people to do greater things. This sounds vague and unspecified but that's general outcome of my countless procrastination. I either am an influencial celebrity (Yes. I am secretly dreaming to be a person seen on tv or print. Crazy, yes!) or a famous novelist/author or a respectable teacher or a mature/experienced friend. In my daydreams, I am always the person who has all the logical answers. I have fans and followers. Is it fame I want? Attention?

I am tired Tired of analyzing, understanding myself Tired of looking for motivation Tired of trying... I just want to get away from here Find my soul, put the pieces together I want to let loose, be less bruised From the standards & expectations

Friendship is when a quiet girl like me becomes the loudest in the room talking nonstop 😉 Today, I got to hang out with some of my longest friends even becoming classmates in college. Surprisingly, I realized how talkative I was, speaking without really thinking or even pausing. We just synced and jumped from one topic to another without being confused or disturbed. It was refreshing. We should have gotten together sooner~ On another note, I got to eat for the first time in a Korean restaurant. I couldn't comment completely about the food or ambiance as I was too focused with my company. Overall, it was fun. Note: this is one of the few if not only post which isn't negative hahaha. Will this concept go on for a few more?! Guess, we'll soon find out ^^

#positive #goodvibes #151126

Here we go again...

This is bad. I am not driven... but this isn't the first its happened. It has been an illness since. What if its coupled with laziness and fear? That's me I have a lot in mind... things to do, places to go, experiences to gain. I wanted to get out of shell and meet the world free from pretensions and lies... but I am afraid, therefore, I stay still and wait. Wait for what? An opportunity? They say it will never come until you look and work for it... but I wait idly just to be safe. Safe and do not risk. I may not realize it but this has become my life's motto. I'd rather live hiding than die fighting. Such a coward, indeed. Well that's me. Sure, I can change but then again I say I am unmotivated and lazy. It's unending cycle of denial and justification. If I won't be able to free myself from these chains, I will definitely be like this forever. THAT'S ME, YOU SEE.

I am in a mess I am depressed Got no one to talk to Got no where to run I don't know who I am Does the girl in the mirror resemble me Of what I truly know myself Or what the others perceive me I'm having an inner struggle A long and difficult battle of oneself I am looking out who actually wins Somehow, I realized, I still have hope for the future

Lying in bed with a weary body Yet the mind runs in ways too many Questions breakthrough but are yet to be answered Answers unravel yet its too much to handle

Reading these within minutes targeted my heart... How cunning the timing and the words... I know and understand them, yet, I fail to live it up... It seems easy but I find it difficult to do... "It's easier said than done" they say

I think I know more what others think of me than i personally know myself that's probably why I am uptight, calculative, demure, low profile... that's why I am empty, boring, no personality, no character...

Thought Balloon 09

My laziness overpowers my being over compulsive... Really... How can these 2 exist in me, tearing my personality altogether...???

'Opposites attract.' Opposites need and depend on each other. One wouldn't be called a leader of he has no follower. Big and tall wouldn't exist if there are no small and short to compare to. A knowledgeable person goes through being an ignorant too. They are causes and effects. They complement each not a point of argument. Sometimes we forget these and put up standards and ideals that everyone can't or shouldn't be. In this world, one have to be evil for another one to be good. Differences and changes are inevitable.

Thought Balloon 08

Am I headed somewhere? Or more like am I walking on the right path? Is this the one for me? Am I being a coward again? Is this giving up or a realization that I have to do another thing but this? Is this really helping me to get acquainted with Mr. Reality or am I pushing and forcing myself too hard to understand & like what I do now...? I am slowly losing it..

Thought Balloon 07

What if one day I just forgot everything... about me, my fears, my insecurities, expectations about me... What if I just start anew without anyone knowing amything about me first... What if doing this would bring back my confidence and will help learn and accept who I really am....

Thought Balloon 06

I don't feel like doing anything. I don't wat to go to work. I don't have the motivation. I don't have the inclination to be, to do good like when I was still studying... You see my pattern now...

Knock Knock, Tick Tock

Knock knock I heard it once Knock knock Now's louder pounce Knock knock Been locked up in the room Knock knock Will I ever get to see you soon Tick tock Clock strikes twelve Tick tock It's about to blow up Tick tock Time's running out Tick tock Hear it's fading sound

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