am i short or are you all just freakishly Long?

no not that agent kingston, the other one. 🙄 icon by @kurczakmarty

[thecoolkingston]

(a bit sideblog)

run by @turtleybeachin (who is run by @masteroftheseas), this is noelle's Agency account for shitposting and jokes.

i thought it'd be funny and have no impulse control.

posts (aside from this intro 🤔) are all in-character and i'm sorry for that. 😔

askbox is open if you want sarcastic and insincere answers to your most burning questions from the coolest kingston still alive.

[thecoolkingston]

everyone's all about gay rights but what about the gay wrongs.

[thecoolkingston]

happy pride month!

wayhaven police department wants to encourage everyone this year to be gay and do crime! 🏳‍🌈

[thecoolkingston]

i know in the depths of my soul that adam has Peak Dad Energy about thermostats. i know he would sense a one degree temperature change in the air and would lecture us all for an hour about energy costs.

alas i can't find the stupid fucking magical thermostat in this stupid warehouse. foiled again.

[why-ai]

[aukkenopsia]

pajama idea i had last night in bed while rolling around in pain from cramps

[thecoolkingston]

i don't think they make heels high enough to make a difference for me. i'm un-heel-able. destined to always be the "how's the weather down there" one.

do you think i could make stilts A Thing?

[analog-autistic]

me when my friends pick up vocabulary from me and i pick up vocabulary from them

[mornynge]

Went back to my old brushes, looked at how I did shading over a year ago and well, here we are, hehe hihi :^)

[thecoolkingston]

I don’t generally like dresses on like a day to day vibe. Like go off to the bad bitches rocking them but not for me.

But now some fancy fuckin ballgown? Some slinky elegant shit?? Feelin like some damn princess swishin my skirts or some femme fatale in a smoky bar????

That’s the good shit.

[thecoolkingston]

Taught Felix the family guy death pose meme and now we’re just trying to one-up each other around the warehouse.

[thecoolkingston]

Finished my paperwork early and gave it to Adam with a big smile.

Now I get to watch him re-read it a dozen times suspiciously trying to figure out what I did to it.

[thecoolkingston]

Eating sour candies to make Nate pull faces about it when I then give him a kiss.

[thecoolkingston]

The thing you talls don’t get is how annoying it is to be behind you. Like I have no idea what’s happening beyond you. And what, am I meant to duck and weave behind you and admit defeat???

[preserving-tiktok]

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[thecoolkingston]

Nate tried to make dino pancakes for brunch to cheer me up and I’ve decided to stop protesting that the dream was stupid and I’m fine.

You know what I do deserve to bite the heads off lumpy and disfigured dinosaurs. 🙂‍↕️ I am so brave and so strong.