101 Things To Do With Condoms

Do you have a hoard of condoms but can't seem to get a partner to use them with? Maybe it's your greasy hair, your oily complexion, or your obnoxious personality. Maybe you spend too much time on Tumblr. Whatever the reason, you have a stash of condoms you just can't be rid of. Well, worry no more! There are many creative ways to use your closet-full of contraceptives, and you can find quite a few examples here. Come up with your own in your free time! Send pictures of puerile pranks put into practice! Share with family and friends! Let the wacky hijinks roll! And remember, just because you're not getting any doesn't mean you have no use for condoms.

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#17: Confetti

Condomfetti for every occasion! Weddings, birthday parties, graduation! Toss 'em high and watch them flutter gracefully back to Earth.

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#16: Socks

Keep your feet warm as you lounge around the house, or use them to go running. May be a bit slippery at first, so you can have a lot of fun on polished wood floors.

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#15: Shot Glass

For drinking games.

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#14: Musical Instrument

Start a band. Fill 'em up with air and use them as drums. Yodel to the twanging of condoms.

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#13: Jewelry

Use them for bling when you're going to hang with your peeps. Yo.

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#12: Blindfold

For when you've just kidnapped someone and you don't want them to see where you're going. Or if you have a pinata at a birthday party and just can't find a bandana. Whichever works for you.

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#11: Goatee

Just can't seem to grow some decent facial hair? That's perfectly all right. Some tape and a condom can fix that right up. Apply to your chin, and voila!

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#10: Party Decorations

Wow your guests by garlanding your house with condoms! Have a themed birthday or celebrate your anniversary, and let the good times roll.

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#9: Snack Bag

Got the munchies? Put some snacks in a condom and put the condom in your backpack, and you're ready to enjoy a small meal wherever you are. Don't forget to offer whoever is near by some snackage from your handy-dandy condom. Sharing is caring!

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#8: Suspenders

Use them to keep your pants up! Bonus funny points because they're intended for use when your pants are down.

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#7: Window Pane

Too cheap to buy glass? That's okay. Condoms are always the answer.

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#6: Lollipop

Coat it in sugar, make it tasty! You can give it to children on the street from the back of your van.

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#5: Trampoline

Bouncy, springy, elastic fun for the whole family!

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#4: Hat

To keep your head warm in the winter.

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#3: Icing Bag

Are you making a cake and need a way to apply the icing? Grab a spare condom, poke a hole in the end, and fill it up! Doodle some dandy designs on the delicious dessert. Just don't tell the cake's target audience the secret to your success, or it will be a very short-lived success indeed!

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#2: Slapping People

A good way to challenge someone to a duel, or possibly just gross them out and piss them off. Either way, you've got a fight coming to you.