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But What If...: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma WRAP-UP EXTRAVAGANZA

But What If…: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma WRAP-UP EXTRAVAGANZA

Last post, in true Choose Your Own Adventure fashion, we achieved a good ending where we saved the world, albeit in a mildly anticlimactic kind of way that makes us immediately wonder, huh, so, how did we not get any of the better endings?

In our final annual Goosebumps post of 2020, this is the question we ask ourselves: what were the otherways this story could have gone? Or, as Ariel pitched…

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We Wave Unplugged CD and MP3 Players At Aliens Until They Die: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #10

I have to say, I think Matthew’s thought-process for the last choice was brilliant. It’s so deeply ingrained in us that figures of authority in horror either can’t save the day, refuse to save the day, or are part of the system, man that I instantly recoiled from Andrew’s suggestion of getting his parents for help. Oh, foolish foolish, Andrew, I thought, your innocence will soon be lost.

Lucki…

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Grandma is an Alien! (For Real This Time): Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #10

Ariel has decided, between the two options of A) ask obviously evil imposter grandma who has killed us a few times in different timelines what’s going on here, and B) wait until the meteor shower and check that out instead, that A seems like the amusing but decidedly incorrect move.

Wait and see seems like the best thing to do.

YEAH, NO SHIT, ME.

I double-check the newspaper to find when…

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What If We Just Ask Grandma What's Up: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #9

What If We Just Ask Grandma What’s Up: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #9

Grandma shows up while my friends and I are snooping in her room. I realize now that overly invasive cab driver would have loved to be included in this snoop session, and I feel bad there was no option to invite him along on our misadventures.

To avoid getting caught by grandma, I flee through the window. I swear to god if the book is like, “You fall on the ground and purple and yellow alien…

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A Very Careful Exploration of Grandma's Death-Laden Bedroom: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #8

A Very Careful Exploration of Grandma’s Death-Laden Bedroom: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #8

HOLY SHIT, WE SURVIVED OUR FIRST EVER DECISION. Ariel decided to search grandma’s room instead of spying on her in the garden, and when I turn to that page… there’s immediately another choice!!

“This would be a good chance to find out more about Grandma,” you tell Sophie and Andrew. “Let’s search her room.” “Right, chief.” Sophie salutes you. […] “We should hurry,” [Andrew] urges. “I don’t want…

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Gasp and Turn to Page 103: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #7

I decide to play things cool and introduce my friends to my grandmother despite her concerning silver jumpsuit. My friends politely compliment grandma on her bizarrely colored roses.

You gaze at a bright-green rose. Whoa! Is that a pair of eyes staring back at you?

Stine, R. L.. Secret Agent Grandma (Give Yourself Goosebumps #16) (p. 84). Scholastic Inc.. Kindle Edition.

The roses…

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#books #writing

My Friends Want Brownies, I Want ESPIONAGE: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #6

So I see we died again.

I like how so far this Goosebumpschoose your own adventure book is like a fucking morality play. Or, like… a common sense play. No branching paths AT ALL. We have literally fucked up EVERY DECISION AND DIED. I’m torn between frustration that this isn’t a fun choose your own adventure (because I’m instead being tested into choosing the intended adventure) and… oddly…

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Invasive Cab Driver is the Hero We Deserve: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #5

Previously, the weirdly overinvested and, frankly, INVASIVE cab driver suggests that we open my grandmother’s luggage to find out why it’s so heavy. Matthew forced my hand and told me to turn to page 85–the choice that has me going along with the weirdo cab driver’s suggestion. God damn it, Matthew, I’ll have my sweet revenge.

Things prove to be challenging when the creepy cab driver and me…

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#halloween

TeLl Me AbOuT tHe RoSe GaRdEn: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #4

Previously in Secret Agent Grandma:

We’ve had two bad endings so far from 1) not figuring out the riddle that “EMPLEH” is “help me” backwards, and 2) not figuring out that the loud noises approaching the train station were a train. So, naturally, Ariel has now decided that our narrator has not figured out that the grandma doppelgänger on the train being kidnapped is our real grandma, and we…

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Empleh, empleh, read all about it!: Secret Agent Grandma #3

Previously, we spotted a baffling message on one of the train windows: EMPLEH, EMPLEH. Matthew has decided it’s time to turn to page 129 and get some help figuring out what this means. I can only assume our character pauses the book to read or watch The Shining.

Over on page 129, I ask grandma if she knows what ‘Empleh’ means. Grandma plays it cool and tells me I have “such an imagination.”…

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#reading #writing

We Have Already Met With Our First Terrible Fate: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #2

Ariel has decreed that our choice is to run away from the (checks notes) rumbling train station, where we are waiting for an approaching train. Uh huh. So it is my duty now to take the reins and hope that I don’t have to recap an insta-death choice. Or hope that I do? Hard to tell what the best outcome is here. I mean, I feel like we’ve only just begun to learn about the main character of this…

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Worry Until Page 3: Goosebumps – Secret Agent Grandma #1

As Matthew and I continue to discuss time constraints and project interests, one thing is clear: HALLOWEEN TRADITIONS ARE SACRED TO US!

Reader beware, you’re in for a…choose your own adventure? Yes, friends, not only are we back for our annual tradition of reading Goosebumps, but we come bearing an exciting twist. There are no chapters this time! Instead, Matthew and I will read up until a…

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#books #goosebumps #halloween #writing

Murder Most Fowl: The KFC Dating Sim Episode 13 FINALE

THE FINAL EPISODE. All your questions about I Love You, Colonel Sanders! are answered. Do you smooch Colonel Sanders? Do you and Colonel Sanders end up together forever? What happens in the secret ending and how did we mess up and not get it?

As always, you can get the inside scoop by subscribing to our Patreon to join our…

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Almost Rid of Miriam: The KFC Dating Sim Episode 12

THE PENULTIMATE EPISODE. Colonel Sanders and SEXYCALPIZZAKIT “invent” a “new” menu “item”, the school celebrates with a graduation dance, and Ariel and Matthew discuss – somehow – the larger themes of this game.

As always, you can get the inside scoop by subscribing to our Patreon to join our Discord server!Or if you’d…

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What If Twilight... But EDWARD?: BBGT Reads (Some of) Midnight Sun

What If Twilight… But EDWARD?: BBGT Reads (Some of) Midnight Sun

It’s almost a dare to have a website titled “Bad Books Good Times” and then have nothing to say about the release of the long unfinished, unreleased Midnight Sun.

Yes, yes, it’s quite a time to be alive. Twelve years after the first twelve chapters of Twilight rewritten from Edward’s perspective leaked and Stephanie Meyer abandoned the draft, Midnight Sunnow actually sees the light of day.…

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Minor Character Judgment Day: The KFC Dating Sim Episode 11

Miriam, Van Van, Aeshleigh, and Pop’s fates/final grades are revealed. The Colonel makes a decision from the heart. The voice of God?

As always, you can get the inside scoop by subscribing to our Patreon to join our Discord server! Or if you’d like, you could make a one-time donation on Ko-Fito support BBGT vis a vis…

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The Consequences of Our Actions: The KFC Dating Sim Episode 10

The final cooking competition of Sexycalpizzakit’s 3-day cooking school continues, Colonel Sanders draws a line in the sand about honorable competition, and Matthew and Ariel are trapped in an endless cycle of making the same mistake over and over again.

As always, you can get the inside scoop by subscribing to our Patreon…

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