miserable at best

[actuates]

“for the man that will one day ask me why i love him so much. the real question i have to ask is why do you love me so much? what is it about me that twists all the right knobs? c'mon, tell me, butter me up. i’m insecure and i want to be loved by you. please? okay, okay, sorry. i’ll tell you why i love you first, it’s fair. get ready to watch me become a poet again, just for you. why do i love you so much? the simple answer is that i just do. but that isn’t a real answer is it? it’s not that i love you because you love me, no, i’d love you if you just liked me. it would be more painful, but i loved you well before we ever met. i knew your heart so well when i was young. whenever another man broke my heart, i’d whisper to myself ‘his heart didn’t feel right’ and i didn’t know what"right" was meant to feel like, i just knew that i’d know when it came along. so when you came along, i felt right. you felt right. we felt right. and for some odd reason, you loved me too. i love you because you remind me that i am capable of love. i love you because you know how little i like sleeping at 9 pm when i could be up doing something new. i love you because you’ve never given up on me. i love you because loving you feels like finally finding your favorite pillow again. i love you because you sing along to my shitty music. we fight. but when we fight, we are fighting for each other, not against each other. i love you for that. i used to believe in that idealistically perfect type of love, fairytales and happy endings. you proved to me that love could be imperfect and still be everything i ever craved. you never needed to be perfect to be perfect for me. i love you, just because i do. i’m sorry, my words can never do you justice. now you tell me, why on earth do you love me so much?”

— From one insecure lover to another. |(Morsus Engel)|

[danger]

[studyblr]

your life can look so different, so much better, in just a few months. keep going.

[andrewbreitel]

reblog if ur a disgusting piece of shit

[jessiespieces]

[traumaeyed-deactivated20210519]

Unrecognized signs of abuse

This list includes signs I exhibited while being abused and afterwards, as well as signs I’ve seen other abused youth display, all of which are less commonly recognized for what they are: red flags in disguise. 

Being described as a “perfectionist” or having an extremely competitive attitude to the point of experiencing breakdowns if you are not “the best”

Developing a habit of locking the door to every room you enter, especially when at friends’ houses or your own home, or other places you would be expected to feel safe and welcome at

Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing which may be accompanied by restlessness, pacing, or listening to music, and will often last for hours at a time, and may interfere with daily functioning

Experiencing an inability to relate to your peers which may lead to you creating pseudo relationships or obsessions with fictional characters to replace your lack of social interaction

Refusing to look at yourself in mirrors in public, especially when buying new clothes or going into fitting rooms

Showering in the dark because you are ashamed of your body

Experiencing intense feelings of guilt when someone does something nice for you

Hyperfixation on a hobby such as drawing or writing, which is often used as an outlet and a way to escape the abuse

Purposely making yourself appear unattractive 

Being known as the shy or obedient child who never acts out

Possessing an unnatural amount of maturity for your age which many adults may have praised you for

Not knowing how to live, having an “I can survive with the bare minimums” mentality

Hoarding food or other objects in your room such as toiletries so you do not have to leave your room. This may be as severe as going to the bathroom in bottles or cans, or having months worth of dishes piled up around your room 

Having an anxiety attack if you’re woken up abruptly or if you wake up to loud noises in your house

Never experiencing sexual interest in others, never going through a “boy phase” or a “girl phase”; alternatively, being hypersexual 

Intrusive violent thoughts about small animals or children

Having no sense of belonging since you were a toddler, never feeling connected to your childhood town or house, and feeling alienated among your family members

Feel free to add more to this list. If you or someone else has experienced at least half of these signs, it’s very likely you or them has been through some form of abuse.

[ichor-suggestion]

your eyes turn to honey in the sunlight

[marijuanasjesus]

[inkskinned]

uhhhhhhhhh i just figured out that “ofc” is “of fucking course” but this whole time i’ve been reading it “ofcourse” ………… anyway if u need a dumbass just hmu

[inner]

[zgmfd]

1990 Beetlejuice Valentines

[melisica]

[blck-xcvi]

[stabbyribstabstab-deactivated20]

why do depressed girls give the best head and where do I find one

[sonoanthony]

Cus they really trynna choke to death bro

[waycte-deactivated20171029]

[wonderstruck]

It really drives me insane that I don’t know how people feel about me. Like am I nice??? Am I funny???? Am I mean???? Am I rude??? Am I obnoxious??? Am I dumb???? What am I????????????????????

[syntacked]

When you focus on the good, the good gets better.

Unknown (via syntacked)